Buckeye neighbor got a home theater

Wow, how did he afford it on a McDonalds salary

Disguised as a Geek Squad member (you're really gonna have to sell that one if you guys are close), go "perform updates on the TV software" (if they need geek squad in the first place they should be ok with that), at which point you slide in a DVD collage of Big Will to the tune of the Victors (or if you REALLY wanna torture them, have Rick Astley's greatest hits playing) in the background, making sure to include his Thor and model poses too. Weld the DVD player shut, and tell them that if they touch the outlet to unplug it or change the video input, they'll get zapped by the might of Thor. Justice.

/Allzyourtvarebelongtous

Drive-by EMP.

I was 99% sure you were going to say they bought it from a dude in a white van at the gas station.

Ask if you can watch the UConn game with them.

Use a universal remote to randomly change the channel from a nearby window.  If you can somehow sneak in and insert some kind of Michigan DVD into their Blu-Ray, even better.  The remote thing would definitely work though - trust me.  MMMWWWAAAA-HHHAAAA-HHAAAA!!!!

Just go to his place in November for the upset special.

You tell them real HT systems come from audio stores. I've got a couple aragon amps and a rotel pre and a PS Audio power director. Its all aging, but the aragon amps are still great.

Tell them about Denard.

Inform his manager at Domino's that he's obviously stealing extra money from the register.

Enough already...

I hate Ohio State like all other Michigan fans must.  I also live just a bit east of Columbus. Here is my take on Buckeye fans.  There are two types, the ones who actually attended OSU and those that did not.  I have come to find that most OSU grads, although they hate Michigan, are actually pretty decent people.  Many of them have all their teeth, can spell "cat" and are very capable of having a semi-intelligent conversation about football most of the time.  Most of these same OSU fans, the grads, are not enjoying the depravity of what was Michigan football in 08 an 09.  Why?  It decreases the value of the rivalry and "the game". Yeah, we have to bust each other's balls, because that is what we do and it is expected, but real fans do respect our program and I respect theirs.  If you cannot see Jim Tressel as a great coach, you are not a football fan or you have let "the rivalry" take over your ability to think.  To not respect your opponent on the football field is to denigrate a win. Even if you hate 'em.  Hate and respect are not mutually exclusive.

Then there are the wannabes...the jerks that litter the streets of Columbus with no link to OSU but their love of OSU football, the very same people who would beat on Brian's crippled friend on the famous story about a trip to Columbus.  They have nothing else. Columbus has little to offer in the world of sports, other than OSU.

So, tell your friend that it will be great watching OSU lose to Michigan this year and, thanks to your friend's new home theater, to be able to see the game in a level of clarity heretofore unseen.

The best possible event would be for your neighbor to watch UM upset OSU in the Horseshoe on his big screen.

I'm pretty sure it's not even a crime if you damage the material goods of a Buckeye.  It's more like... penance.

Watching the Buckeyes lose to Miami, random lowly Big Ten team and Michigan followed by being crushed in the bowl game while Pryor hangs his head in shame and tries to rub off his tatoo in stunning HD is the real punishment. And you don't have to do a thing!

(Love that line from A Few Good Men)...

The Geek Squad guys were hired because Mr. OSU Neighbor said, "Hey, I've got me a pile o' money. I don't need to do the installation myself." Of course, he's foolish to believe that he could do it, if he wanted to.

Anyway, most home theaters have internet capability these days. Hack the damn thing, corrupt his DNS settings, and set every URL to automatically redirect to MGoBlog, WLA, etc. That's what I'd do.

Be aware that if you do anything to mess with their enjoyment of "that team" it will become a cycle of violence, and there's no way I would mess around with the potential of missing part of the Michigan game because I played a dumb prank on a Bucknut.  It sounds like these folks are a rare form of Ohioan: tolerable.  You play right into the hands of the enemy by paying them any attention, or at least more than you have to.

No, but it is your clear duty to quietly one up them.

Example: one buckeye in the neighborhood has a wrangler unlimited sport. I have the rubicon. Another buckeye in the neighborhood has a chevy traverse. My wife has the GMC acadia. (I know, infested with buckeyes in this North Carolina neighborhood.)

This by the way did not happen with intent on my part: it just happened naturally.

But still, get on it man!

Find out where he works and apply for a job.  Work your way up the corporate ladder by kissing ass.  When you are his boss, fire him and purchase the home theater at his garage sale.

Hopefully you've already signed him up for a truckload of anonymous mail order porn DVDs.

They will sell his name, & it will be on a dozen other lists within the week.

As an added bonus, you can accidentally "intercept" one of the DVDs, then hand deliver it to him (or his wife) saying "It obviously has your address, but the mailman must have put it in our box by mistake, and we opened it.  

Recall this "incident" at  every available cocktail party/PTA meeting.

There's only one way to take these people down: win The Game as they watch on their brand new home theater. 

Go out and get yourself a better set-up.  If you can't afford it, find a way.  Never settle for less then a Buckeye.