None of these attempts at humor have been even remotely successful. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
this week in unintentionally grim-sounding recruiting headlines
None of these attempts at humor have been even remotely successful. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Your username is an email address. Regardless of my lack of humor, I will never suck that hard.
Is your MGoUsername really your email address?
Hit by a tank
Ale, with as high of an IBU as you can get.
#6: Magnus is actually Brian. Bkfinest it.
#6: His Dudeness is actually Magnus.
9. Walk around the car or slide across the hood?
What is my weight and BAC? I need context.
We're talking a lean 300 lbs, but you happen to be white boy schwasted.
under 300 lbs = slide
over 300 lbs = walk around
Please forgive me, but I missed the outing of Roll Damn Tide. Was he/she just making stuff up?
1) I'll admit that this is a pretty nice feather in James' cap - still not a Miami Heat fan, and I wouldn't necessarily be furious if his house was the end of a joyride for some guy driving an M1 Abrams.
2) Bolivian weather is highly underrated. We could make that work.
3) 56.1% completion rate, 6.8 yards per attempt and 70 career passing TDs? This is probably easier than sending the Big House around the Sun at approximately Warp 10 to create the rquired temporal effect.
4) Split decision seems the most likely outcome here.
5) Next question.
6) I am MrMario86. The similarities in writing style have been noted by others.
7) I am fairly sure that I would not read the label before I poured it into my glass.
At least you aren't Chet or THE_PARTY_ROOM.
That is Chill Chet to you. At least I think that was the first handle he used.
1. I'm not happy for him in the least, nor do I want his house destroyed. Now, if your question was referencing Dwyane "The Flopper" Wade, it'd be different story...
2. There's nothing more exciting then watching U of M go up against Ohio when they're the two best teams in the B1G/the country. That being said, I sure love to watch them lose, no matter the opponent.
3. I really wasn't the biggest Navarre supporter. 4 years was more than enough for me. Also, college D-linemen and linebackers keeping getting faster and Navarre would stand no chance.
4. Trick question, blah blah blah...
5. Don't know what you're really asking here. If it's do I want a mascot, well then that's a stupid question that's not even worth my time. (The answer is an astounding hell no, by the way)
6. The_Knowledge. I have a sneaking suspicion he's some other big player on this blog posting in disguise (BiSB? Maybe even Brian himself...). My second pick would be OMGShirtless. There's just something about that guy...
7. Stout, please.
You think OMGShirtless is a guy? With a user name like that, I like to think it's a girl.
1. LBJ, NBA MVP and Champion - happy for him or hope his house gets hit by a tank?
Two tanks please. But anybody who was on any of the NBA Finals open threads already knows this by now.
2. OSU - Win every game but one, only beat the SEC, or secede from the Union to form a province of Bolivia?
Lose one a year. To us. Sort of like 2006 without Crable's phantom personal foul
3. Navarre - If we find the Weinke loophole, would you take four more years at his average productivity?
No Navarre please. I could tell which reciever he was going to throw to coming out of the huddle fergodsake. He "locked in" on a target like no other. Watch the end of the 2001 Michigan/OSU game as he threw to one reciever as they tried to come back(I think Marquis Walker) like 9 straight plays despite others being WIDE open.
4. Ditka or God, who would win in a fight?
The age-old philosophical question revisited. "If God is all powerful and can do anything can he/she create a Ditka so powerful he cannot defeat it in a fight?" I believe the answer is yes.
5. Mascot - Giant blue weasel, life sized garden gnome from Brian's post, or does it not matter as long as they hurry the hell up...
No mascot but I'm not nearly as spun-up on the issue as others seem to be. Heck I even like "In the Big House" and I'm 52
6. Now that RDT has been outed, who is the next alter ego to slip up?
Don't know and candidly don't care but I'm THRILLED he got outed. OMG Shirtless has a set of "rules" he follows to automatically downvote something. After his brilliant outing of RDT I also have a new rule. I'm upvoting everything I see him post for a long, long time.
7. Ale or lager?
Ale, Ale Ale! I absolutely LOVE Dogfish 60 & 90 and have made it my mission in life to drink the 120 at least once before I die. There really isn't an IPA I don't like. I just wish they werent a bazillion calories per bottle.....
is clearly OMGShirtless..... A "brilliant outing?" More like "stating the obvious."
While I'm not OMG Shirless (I think) I was referring to his recognizing the "obvious" as quickly as he did and then replying so the comment was locked in the thread. Perhaps I should've worded differently - "rapid response" as opposed to brilliant but the fact remains his (my?) quick thinking kept him from being able to change what RDT wrote.
And now htat I've thought about it Lebron shouldn't get hit with two tanks. I would rather three tanks were sent.
Ah....Lebron....we'll always have game 5 against Boston.......
For what its worth,
I think the Cleveland thing consists of a bunch of jilted lovers, so I don't fault him that. I have, however, heard multiple first hand stories about what a colossal douche LeBron is in real life. As in, if you can't do something for him, he wouldn't give you his water bottle if you were dying of thirst. I guess when you hear that you are a god from the age of 13, you don't really form a personality.
1. LBJ-I hope he tests positive for horse steroids and beaver tranquilizers
2. OSU - Lose every game just because it's Urban's first year and I would be laughing maniacally for 4 months straight, probably longer.
3. Navarre - 4 years ago, yes. Now, no.
4. God wins and it's not close
5. Mascot - Gnome
6. The_Ignorance is actually The_Knowledge
1. I'll be happy for him when he comes to terms with his receding hairline and embraces it.
2. OSU - Win every game but one every three years, the third year they lose to purdue for no apparent reason.
3. Navarre - I want the reverse Wienke loophole where he gets drafted by the Toronto Blue Jays and grinds a few years in the minors.
4. Ditka is God my friend.
5. Mascot - Giant blue mutant weasel gnome. The comic crowd will love it and that will pull in new young fans and create movie spinoffs. Profit.
7. Ale or lager? Whiskey.
Can't stand the guy.
His entitled attitude and cockiness makes me sick. The "decision" and "championship party before the championship(s)" were absurd.
Just another horrid thing to come out of the state of Ohio
1.) Happy for him, I think we all made dumb mistakes in our early 20's glad to see his talent rewarded.
2.) Win every game but one, helps the B1G and Michigan nationally.
4.) Trick quetion Ditka is God
5.) NO mascot period!
7.) Ale, the more India the Better.
1. Drowned in a vat of Malmsey wine, clearly
2. Wear Urban's lavender tutus during the Game
3. Only if he trundles for another slo-mo 40-yrad TD
5. Tacopants. How is this even a question?
$64. I am not now, nor have I ever been a member of the Communist Party of the United States
7. Irish Car Bombs
1) LBJ - would have liked to see him win on a different team. I can't stand teams that go for the "dream team" stuff.
2) Bolivia. Ohio smells like cooler poop.
3) Navarre - Not now, what with the rebuilding receiving corps and the emphasis on the run.
4) How does one fight oneself?
5) Giant Block M.
6) Ziff72. Outed as McLovin.
7) Ale. Of the India Pale variety.
Nice try Dave Brandon.
1. Fuck LBJ. Yes that makes me a hater to some but he would still be telling the front office in Cleveland that Bill Wennington was the missing piece to his title run. Champion for now, will never go down as one of the great basketball players of all time. Just a freak athlete.
2. Bolivia is a lot nicer than columbus, especially in the fall.
3. Hell no
4. Chuck Norris, this was a trick question
5. Write in vote for the Blue Kool Aid pitcher
6. Elaydin finally admits to being a OSU fan
7. Domestic, just a plain ass Miller Lite. No Dog Piss or whatever other skunk beer is thought to be the new trendy drink.
"Champion for now, will never go down as one of the great basketball players of all time. Just a freak athlete."
This may be the dumbest statement I have ever heard.
Even without the champion, LBJ joined Bill Russel, Wilt Chaimberlain, Jordan, Bird, Magic and Moses Malone as the only players to win 3 MVPs. Also now has a championship, finals MVP to go along with his 8 all star appearances, scoring champion in 08, and 4 time all defensive first team. And he's 27, in pretty good shape to contend for plenty more titles, MVPs and all star games
He can't shoot. He is a physical specimen. This is why he needs this type of supporting cast to win a championship. The way to guard LBJ was to let him shoot from the outside and collapse on him when he drove to the lane. Now go back to staring at your Lebron Fathead on your wall.
Are you suggesting the best player in the NBA, averaging 30.3 points in the playoffs and doing things almost no player has done before....wow. just wow
Don't snap at him because he rightfully called out a very dumb post. Trust me, I don't have lebron fatheads on my wall, but neither do I have irrational hatred of lebron. He is an outstanding player. Period.
he cant shoot as well as durant, no. But he shoots 36% from 3 point land, so he's not terrible. Either way, he's the best passer the league has ever seen from the small forward position. He averages 10 rebounds a game. He guards the opposition's best player. And he's one of the best close range finishers to ever play the game. I'd say that's enough.
Plus, at 27, he has plenty of time to improve that jumpshot.
Look those are great numbers hard to argue that. It's also hard to argue that prior to his South Beach tour that a team could beat Lebron by falling off of him when he had the ball on the perimeter and crashing when he went to the hole. It worked, the stats are amazing, in playoff time when defense mattered this approach worked.
He is 27 and that shot got better because of D. Wade.
Nobody can do it alone. Jordan had pippen, wade had shaq, kobe had shaq (and then gasol), KG had pierce and allen, etc, etc.
Look, lebron had a choice between possibly being the next charles barkley, or joining another superstar and winning titles. Since no superstar was going to cleveland, he had to take matters into his own hands
Lebron is one of those trascendant talents that the planets should revolve around him. He is, very likely, the most physically gifted player to walk the earth.
That said, trying to do it the "easy" way (and believe me, by saying, not 5, not 6, not 7, he thought it would be easy), he admitted that he wasn't strong enough to do it on his own or couldn't fact the pressure of doing it on his own for his hometown team.
I'm not from the midwest so I could care less about Cleveland but in the end, I think he proved that he COULD have won in Cleveland.
At the time, he joined a top 5 and a top 15 player down in Miami and those two played up to their reps last year and they lost in the finals.
However, this year Wade was definitely not Wade (except in spurts) and Bosh was clearly half of what he normally is because of injury.
LBJ changed his mindset, and he admitted it, and became the Alpha Dog he should have been all along and won with help from role players.
And the sad part is.....he could have done it in Cleveland and it would have meant a whole lot more.
The "easy way."
You mean the way pretty much every superstar ever has done it, with very few exceptions?
He didn't want to win one in Cleveland. He wanted to win 6 in Cleveland.
He didn't want to be the greatest basketball player in Cleveland's history. He wanted to become the greatest basketball player in history, period.
When it became very clear that neither of those things were going to happen in Cleveland, he left.
You got me. Didn't think it was that big of a secret.
I don't believe it ever was. I think people just see that you have your ap icon as your avatar so they assume you are one of us.
1. HST over LBJ
2. The province would be Bolivian with an "n"
4. Di*ka (it's a silent "t")
5. One of those kittens from an Asian restaurant that continually waves their paw at you with the head replaced by a photobombing Brian
6. Don't dare make a guess here...
1. Hope his house gets hit by a tank.
2. Also hope it gets hit by a tank. After winning every game but one.
3. Depends on what the alternative is. But Navarre was a perfectly good quarterback.
4. God, but only with the help of the Archangel Mike.
5. Inflatable thing similar to the Lil Husker thing at Nebraska so that it can be popped before every game.
6. I hear that guy bwgrudt is actually bouje.
1) Perfectly fine with LBJ.
2) I dont understand this question at all... seriously
3) I'd take his junior and senior years I suppose, especially surrounded by the strong cast we have coming in.
4) What a question
5) please no mascots
6) The Knowledge!!!
7) chocolate milk
Anyone else with one user profile feel really left out right now?
I feel like I've just found out I've been living in the Matrix.
1. LBJ is a zero. He took too long to win his first championship. He seems like a jerk.
2. Always vote for OSU to lose big.
4. I agree that this is a trick question.
5. No mascot.