Big Ten teams as Biblical Figures

Michigan State- Jonah. Gets eaten by a whale and spit out onto shore. Even the whale didn't want him.

Michigan- Jesus

OSU- Pilate

MSU- Random onlooker to the event.

MGoBlog take: Michigan = Job. God decides to test Job's faith by sending him adversity upon adversity to those we love.

MSU - the Philistines

OSU - Satan

UM - the meek that shall inherit the earth

mostly the same, except ...

Ohio State = Nebuchadnezzar II: powerful, evil, boastful; soon to be put in their place...

Michigan State = Jehu: had some early success, but tolerated iniquity and eventually was conquered by nomads

Michigan = Moses: "leaders and best" ... "conquering heroes" ... nuff said

Gross to look at, and you never see one in real life outside of the state/Bible.

MSU-- Abel, little brother killed by his big brother

MIchigan-- Cain, big brother.

Indiana- David without his slingshot.

No people represented just Sodom & Gomorrah.

I was thinking of MSU as the plague of frogs: annoying more than anything else and what the hell is that?

I think the most obvious scenario would have Michigan as Joseph.  He had 11 brothers who were jealous of him because he was the smartest and most favored of all of Jacob's sons.  It also pissed his brothers off because he had the most kick-ass looking coat (there are rumors that it was colored maize and blue).  

......same thing was created for the SEC the day prior.

http://www.garnetandblackattack.com/2011/2/9/1984111/sec-programs-as-bib...

ackward...

MSU is Rachab -- a whore, gets fucked a lot.

OSU is the serpent -- evil, pure evil

Abel = Michigan

Cain = Michigan State

Only in this case almost everytime Cain tries to kill Abel, Abel pulls out a kabar and Modern Warfare's his ass

EDIT: Attempted to save myself from looking like a total bonehead for spelling Cain so incredibly wrong... Thanks Tater, lol.

1.  I love TR's WWE spelling of "Kane," even if it was subsequently edited.

2.  There is no way Sparty could be half this funny trying to find biblical analogies for Michigan, if they could even spell "analogy."

3.  My finger is tired from having to pos so many people for making me laugh so hard.  Thanks to all.

Sorry but that list was wrong for so many reasons.  Let's try again.

Ohio State: The serpent in the garden of Eden who convinces recruits that if they show up in Columbus they will be like God but instead it leads to total distruction. We later find out that this is none other than the enemy of all that is good and true in the world.

Penn State: Pharaoh and the Egyptians.  While their ways have in the past proved to be successful as they have swelled in power and wealth. Thieir stubborness has lead to be their downfall.  After seeing ten other plagues unleashed on them they still remain hard-hearted and refuse to change.

Purdue: Baalam. The only reason he gets mentioned is sometimes his ass talks for him. 

Minnesota: Laban.  Once rich and proud with beautiful daughters (1950's football).  Jacob (the rest of the big ten) has come and taken his daughters and all their best goats.  Now they are left a shell of what they used to be.

Indiana:  The lepers.  They are harmless and in need of healing. Often not considered part of the community.

Iowa:  Haman.  The king's right hand man in the book of Esther.  This guy has the typical, "little-man syndrome."  He stakes his life and actualization on the backhanded anhilation of others instead of cementing an identity for himself.  Ultimatly, he has to accept a fate he thought he was giving the ones he was trying to kill.

Michigan State: Ahab.  Usually bossed around and spineless, however also has a flair for  crime like stealing vinyards, and murdering prophets.  Secretly wishes he had God's favor like Elijah.

Nebraska: Ruth.  Has no one to legitimize her and take care of her when those around her die (most of the big 12).  Then she finds a new land, a new people, and a new sense of self.

Wisconsin:  Goliath.  Also a Philistine but deserves a catagory all his own.  A big lumbering bully who ravages the region for a time then is put in his place by a kid with a slingshot (TCU anyone).

Illinois:  Harod Agrippa. He can't hold together the bit of the kingdom he has been given by his father and now, even though he has resources at his fingertips (decent recruits) finds himself being eaten alive by worms. 

Northwestern: The Philistines. A sea-fearing, troublesome people who cause a bit of ruckus here and there but mostly find themselves beaten by other regional powers.

Michigan: Elijah.  Often convinced they are the only one left with morals and logic, they press on to help the wayward kingdom restore justice and goodness to the land in the name of the LORD.