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Bielema's Arkansas move explained

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December 6th, 2012 at 10:24 AM
#1
lakeside
lakeside's picture
Joined: 12/03/2010
MGoPoints: 1890
Bielema's Arkansas move explained

The good folks at BHGP have pieced together why Bielema has moved on. And done so in a form we can all understand. Chart?

Chart:

[click to embiggen]

http://www.blackheartgoldpants.com/2012/12/5/3730922/bielema-attributes-departure-to-following-elaborate-life-chart

Man ball. Formerly, somebody else.

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Tags:
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  • Arkansas Razorbacks
  • batshit insanity
  • bhgp
  • Brett Bielema
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  • wisconsin

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December 6th, 2012 at 10:28 AM | I think the last two columns (Score:5 Normal)
U of M in TX
U of M in TX's picture
Joined: 07/01/2008
MGoPoints: 429

I think the last two columns need to be switched

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December 6th, 2012 at 10:28 AM | The BHGP crew is always (Score:4 Normal)
Lionsfan
Lionsfan's picture
Joined: 06/03/2011
MGoPoints: 3945

The BHGP crew is always pretty funny, I think they did a Jim Bollman Offensive Chart once too, it had things like "3rd and 10+ yards" - Slants

If you're doing nothing, how do you know when you're finished?

StraightDave owes me a steak dinner

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December 6th, 2012 at 10:55 AM | Found these (Score:5 Normal)
lakeside
lakeside's picture
Joined: 12/03/2010
MGoPoints: 1890

But not one by BHGP, unfortunately.

Man ball. Formerly, somebody else.

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December 6th, 2012 at 11:08 AM | That's great, and I found the one I referred to (Score:4 Normal)
Lionsfan
Lionsfan's picture
Joined: 06/03/2011
MGoPoints: 3945

If you're doing nothing, how do you know when you're finished?

StraightDave owes me a steak dinner

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December 6th, 2012 at 11:13 AM | Maybe you should remind them of this (Score:2)
lakeside
lakeside's picture
Joined: 12/03/2010
MGoPoints: 1890

it looks a little like Greg Davis' call sheet.

Man ball. Formerly, somebody else.

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December 6th, 2012 at 11:36 AM | Classic (Score:1)
YoOoBoMoLloRoHo
YoOoBoMoLloRoHo's picture
Joined: 11/01/2012
MGoPoints: 1010

Ask Bollman should be mandated for NCAA '13 so my pre-teen son can annihilate our neighbor kid who picks OSU for Xbox.

"Everybody wants to be a hero, so to speak.  But it takes everybody."  - Charles Woodson

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December 6th, 2012 at 2:02 PM | hilarious (Score:2)
954Greenwood
954Greenwood's picture
Joined: 09/13/2010
MGoPoints: 90

I lol'd

LSA '09

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December 6th, 2012 at 10:28 AM | Looks like (Score:1)
Brewers Yost
Joined: 07/14/2008
MGoPoints: 310

Looks like he is due for a crew cut too.

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December 6th, 2012 at 1:41 PM | Or a trip to Red Lobster (Score:1)
iawolve
iawolve's picture
Joined: 11/03/2008
MGoPoints: 2491

Mmmmm, popcorn shrimp /drools like Homer Simpson

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December 6th, 2012 at 10:36 AM | Plus one for use of (Score:2 Normal)
93Grad
Joined: 07/26/2011
MGoPoints: 855

"embiggen"  Jedidiah Springfield would be proud.

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December 6th, 2012 at 10:40 AM | I about died laughing. The (Score:1)
Rabbit21
Rabbit21's picture
Joined: 11/12/2009
MGoPoints: 1707

I about died laughing. The chart is great, the joke leading up to it's creation is even better.

Chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought.  It always defeats order because it is better organized. 

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December 6th, 2012 at 10:46 AM | Although, (Score:5 Normal)
ChuckieWoodson
ChuckieWoodson's picture
Joined: 01/13/2012
MGoPoints: 475

I feel Ohio State and Penn State banned from post season play should probably be under "sports event".

I therefore declare this chart null and void, and you can read it for yourself in this photostatic copy, I the undersigned, shall forfeit all rights, privileges, and licenses herein and herein contained, et cetera, et cetera... Fax mentis incendium gloria cultum, et cetera, et cetera... Memo bis punitor delicatum!  It's all there, black and white, clear as crystal! You stole fizzy lifting drinks! You bumped into the ceiling which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get nothing! You lose! Good day, sir!

"Touchdown... No flags!!"

Founder and current Commisioner of the ITGPD - Internet Tough Guy Police Department, est. 2012

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December 6th, 2012 at 10:49 AM | Not sure how to moderate this (Score:5 Insightful)
lakeside
lakeside's picture
Joined: 12/03/2010
MGoPoints: 1890

Not sure how to moderate this so will do nothing.

Man ball. Formerly, somebody else.

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December 6th, 2012 at 10:57 AM | I (Score:4 Normal)
ChuckieWoodson
ChuckieWoodson's picture
Joined: 01/13/2012
MGoPoints: 475

was just looking for a time that I could post Wonka's rant out there, so - this seemed like a good of time as any.

"Touchdown... No flags!!"

Founder and current Commisioner of the ITGPD - Internet Tough Guy Police Department, est. 2012

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December 6th, 2012 at 10:58 AM | I thought it was the bags of (Score:1)
His Dudeness
His Dudeness's picture
Joined: 11/24/2008
MGoPoints: 13620

I thought it was the bags of money and the BBQ...

or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.

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December 6th, 2012 at 11:14 AM | "It's revealed that Lane (Score:2 Normal)
Run 2 Daylight
Run 2 Daylight's picture
Joined: 09/01/2009
MGoPoints: 2384

"It's revealed that Lane Kiffin is Dan Tosh"

That's fantastic. And probably true. 

Go Blue!

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December 6th, 2012 at 11:17 AM | the crew cut (Score:1)
MGlobules
Joined: 11/17/2008
MGoPoints: 5175

is on his daily to-do list, which will get him killed v. Nick Saban, who has a microchip that rehearses plays for him while he has sexual congress (with almost anything) and watches game film on his port-a-potty DVD while he poops (once weekly). It's all about the precious nanoseconds in the ESS-EEE-SEE.

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December 6th, 2012 at 11:24 AM | Regarding The Chart And "Chartism" (Score:3 Normal)
LSAClassOf2000
LSAClassOf2000's picture
Joined: 01/07/2011
MGoPoints: 8945

"Living by the chart is just so... so freeing. You don't have to think, you don't have to worry -- just look at the row, look at the column, and boom, you know that it's time to get a fresh crew cut." - from the BHGP piece

Bret is probably busy during this transition to Arkansas, of course, but he should think about popping his collar, eating cheese and going for two sometime in the next five or six months as Kate Middleton is expecting twins, no less. Actually, I wonder if this means he has to pop the collar on his shirt and jacket, eat double the cheese, and end two consecutive drives with two-point conversions. The implications are mind-boggling.....and pretty funny. Good find, OP.

 

"Funny isn't it, how naughty dentists always make that one fatal mistake."

Follow the random tweets of a Michigan alum - http://twitter.com/#!/LorneEC3

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December 6th, 2012 at 11:39 AM | I Ching...... (Score:0)
ole luther
Joined: 11/22/2009
MGoPoints: 71

......anyone ever heard of the "I Ching"?

"non bastardo carberundum" ("don't let the bastards grind you down")

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December 7th, 2012 at 2:22 AM | The hexagrams pointed to one thing... (Score:1)
M Go Snacks
M Go Snacks's picture
Joined: 06/02/2011
MGoPoints: 39

ARKANSAS!

allowance day! ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding

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December 6th, 2012 at 11:49 AM | Great (Score:3 Normal)
Erik_in_Dayton
Erik_in_Dayton's picture
Joined: 12/03/2008
MGoPoints: 6798

I love that one of the choices is "enlist." 

It's tough to make predictions, especially about the future. -- Yogi Berra

                         

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December 6th, 2012 at 11:57 AM | Then again... (Score:2 Normal)
justingoblue
justingoblue's picture
Joined: 11/16/2010
MGoPoints: 11043

a couple off years for Wisconsin hockey added to 7'0 400lb lineman being in short supply everywhere and securing those Canadian recruiting grounds looks very tempting.

"We bring you to Michigan to take care of Michigan; your job is to protect that block M."
-Carol Hutchins

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December 6th, 2012 at 12:48 PM | Awesome (Score:1)
Skiptoomylou22
Skiptoomylou22's picture
Joined: 11/29/2008
MGoPoints: 1327

NIU in a BCS bowl + dogs learning to talk = PBR

Bo' Money Bo' Problems

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December 6th, 2012 at 1:39 PM | "Get fresh crew cut" (Score:1)
maizenblueCW2
maizenblueCW2's picture
Joined: 06/29/2010
MGoPoints: 1025

is my favorite. Haha, fresh.

I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.

-RIP Mitch

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