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Being Manball, what are the requirements?

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April 14th, 2011 at 11:02 AM
#1
iawolve
iawolve's picture
Joined: 11/03/2008
MGoPoints: 2491
Being Manball, what are the requirements?

I have been thinking about our transition to Manball and I wonder if you can just start doing Manball without becoming Manball. I imagine a few things in the transformation like:

  • Hanlon walking around like Burgess Merdith in Rocky yelling in a raspy voice to the lineman that they need to "eat lightning and crap thunder"
  • Running backs carrying FJ on their backs while running through drills, like Luke carrying Yoda on Dagobah, while he imparts thoughts like "be the offspring of Bo Jackson and Barry Sanders before the 4000 yard season you can"
  • Lewan actually getting hurt from the cage match fight with Borges for not sufficiently drive blocking and not from training drills

 

I assume there is a book for how to live Manball, not sure if the board has any thoughts on what Manball requires or how to live Manball.

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April 14th, 2011 at 11:10 AM | Kill the Manball meme. Now. (Score:1)
jg2112
jg2112's picture
Joined: 11/25/2008
MGoPoints: 5844

Kill the Manball meme. Now. It's not funny, and it's not accurate.

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April 14th, 2011 at 11:16 AM | Uh-oh, here come the Hoke (Score:1)
Marshmallow
Marshmallow's picture
Joined: 11/08/2009
MGoPoints: -114

Uh-oh, here come the Hoke mafia...

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April 14th, 2011 at 1:48 PM | Hoke Police (Score:1)
StephenRKass
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Joined: 07/15/2008
MGoPoints: 4283

Have negged & will neg. Lucky that negs aren't real yet. You must cease and desist.

"It does not matter how many times you get knocked down, but how many times you get up." Vince Lombardi

 

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April 14th, 2011 at 1:54 PM | Boo! (Score:1)
M-Wolverine
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Joined: 10/04/2009
MGoPoints: 39229

"I love him, he's a great coach, he's a great mentor, he's a great friend. He's every single thing you want a college coach to be, and he does it flawlessly." -David Molk

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April 14th, 2011 at 2:34 PM | NSFH (Score:1)
Hail-Storm
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Joined: 06/07/2010
MGoPoints: 2393

I think this is the best way to settle arguments on MGoBlog. And by settle I mean distract us from what we were originally talking about.

"Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest." -Mark Twain


 

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April 14th, 2011 at 3:00 PM | Wait, there was a (Score:1)
justingoblue
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Joined: 11/16/2010
MGoPoints: 11044

Wait, there was a discussion...?

"We bring you to Michigan to take care of Michigan; your job is to protect that block M."
-Carol Hutchins

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April 14th, 2011 at 3:18 PM | uh, yeah (Score:1)
Hail-Storm
Hail-Storm's picture
Joined: 06/07/2010
MGoPoints: 2393

And I'm pretty sure it something to do with boobs, and how they solve all the worlds problems, although my reading comprehension isn't perfect.

"Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest." -Mark Twain


 

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April 14th, 2011 at 3:29 PM | There were words!?!?!?! (Score:1)
justingoblue
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Joined: 11/16/2010
MGoPoints: 11044

You're a step ahead of me if you're doing any reading.

"We bring you to Michigan to take care of Michigan; your job is to protect that block M."
-Carol Hutchins

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April 14th, 2011 at 4:37 PM | I think he posted that (Score:1)
ken725
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Joined: 10/26/2008
MGoPoints: 4682

I think he posted that picture because once you post a picture of a woman it becomes NSFS (Not safe for StephenRkass)

Greetings from Bolivia.

"It's special how the real true people hang together. And if you don't support the program you're not a true Michigan guy. It's that simple."  - Gary Moeller

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April 15th, 2011 at 11:32 AM | I think your Boo! needs bs (Score:1)
HermosaBlue
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Joined: 08/05/2008
MGoPoints: 1433

I think your Boo! needs bs added before the exclamation point.

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April 14th, 2011 at 5:58 PM | OMG! (Score:1)
NoMoPincherBug
NoMoPincherBug's picture
Joined: 04/08/2011
MGoPoints: 1452

Thanks for distracting this thread... my god I bet she is a tiger in bed...i read somewhere that she did Benicio Del Toro standing up in an elevator at the Chateau Marmont.

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April 14th, 2011 at 11:33 AM | Have some fun, long time until fall (Score:1)
iawolve
iawolve's picture
Joined: 11/03/2008
MGoPoints: 2491

Relax a bit.

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April 14th, 2011 at 12:27 PM | He's right, this Manball crap (Score:1)
ChitownWolverine82
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Joined: 03/31/2009
MGoPoints: 1938

He's right, this Manball crap is becoming almost unbearable.  If this keeps up, I'm going to have to go on a few months break again.

Makin' movies, makin' music and
Fight-in'  profitgoblue Round The World!
Russell Crowe!

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April 14th, 2011 at 12:41 PM | posted from iPhone (Score:1)
BLUEnTAYLORED
BLUEnTAYLORED's picture
Joined: 12/02/2010
MGoPoints: 294

Oh no please dont

tgod.

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April 14th, 2011 at 11:15 AM | What is the point of this (Score:1)
evenyoubrutus
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Joined: 11/04/2008
MGoPoints: 4829

What is the point of this post?

Not that I loved Rich Rod less, but that I loved Michigan more.

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April 14th, 2011 at 11:16 AM | Running up large moutains (Score:1)
preed1
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Joined: 03/08/2009
MGoPoints: 1194

and when reaching the summit, yelling "DRAGO!"

UM vs osu 2011 bring your keys and make noise (get it keys!)

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April 14th, 2011 at 11:23 AM | That only works (Score:1)
momo
momo's picture
Joined: 01/11/2011
MGoPoints: 109

if you have a colleague who is ready to stare at you while being lifted into the sky by a helicopter.

Why must the youth fight against itself?

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April 14th, 2011 at 12:05 PM | Point of order... (Score:1)
SalingerUofMfan
SalingerUofMfan's picture
Joined: 01/11/2011
MGoPoints: 413

This would also require a pair of bearded communists to follow you in an unmarked Mercedes Benz while you carry logs through twenty inches of snow.  

 

I mean, if we're going to be accurate.....

It's great to be a Michigan Wolverine

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April 14th, 2011 at 11:30 AM | The requirement is ignorance (Score:1)
jmblue
Joined: 11/07/2008
MGoPoints: 29067

The requirement is ignorance of the offensive system SDSU actually ran last year and a mistaken belief that Borges is Mike DeBord wearing a mask.  

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April 14th, 2011 at 12:08 PM | Hoke's "shell game" (Score:1)
Maize and Blue ...
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Joined: 03/15/2009
MGoPoints: 3519

Hoke's two offenses that were successful played very little "manball".  It helped that SDSU played six of the twenty worse Ds in the country last year + a 4-7 FCS school.

Hoke's a talking head giving his audience what they want to hear.  I cringe when I listen to him because half the time it sounds like he's talking to someone who has never watched a game of football in their life. 

 

 

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April 14th, 2011 at 12:12 PM | Audience (Score:1)
Mitch Cumstein
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Joined: 10/02/2009
MGoPoints: 9649

I cringe when I listen to him because half the time it sounds like he's talking to someone who has never watched a game of football in their life.

Exactly, sometimes you have to go down to the level of your audience to connect with them.

"A flute with no holes is not a flute. A donut with no hole is a danish"

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April 14th, 2011 at 3:58 PM | Why does everyone assume Hoke is planning (Score:1)
wolverine1987
wolverine1987's picture
Joined: 07/07/2008
MGoPoints: 2935

this? In fact all the evidence to me shows that he believes every word, and repeats it because it means something to him. I don't really see a calculating guy when I see Hoke, I doubt that he is doing this on purpose at all.

"Everyone gets dumped Gabe. Let me give you some advice: a little coverup on your Adams Apple will make it appear smaller. Which will make you appear less like a transvestite." 

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April 14th, 2011 at 12:22 PM | Maybe when they talk about (Score:1)
RONick
Joined: 02/04/2009
MGoPoints: 656

Maybe when they talk about "understanding Michigan" and the like, this is actually code for "knowing how to talk to/pacify Detroit media".

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April 14th, 2011 at 12:32 PM | It helped that SDSU played (Score:1)
jmblue
Joined: 11/07/2008
MGoPoints: 29067

It helped that SDSU played six of the twenty worse Ds in the country last year + a 4-7 FCS school.

SDSU plays in a small conference, so they invariably play some terrible defenses.  It's not like their schedule suddenly got easier last year.  Nor did they have, on paper, much more talent than anyone else in their conference. They played pretty much the same caliber of teams as always, with pretty much the same caliber of players as usual, only this time they set some offensive records.  

 

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April 14th, 2011 at 1:05 PM | They also hung more points on (Score:1)
chunkums
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Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 9111

They also hung more points on TCU than anyone else did all season.

For today, goodbye. For tomorrow, good luck. And forever, Go Blue.

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April 14th, 2011 at 12:36 PM | SDSU (Score:1)
severs28
Joined: 04/21/2010
MGoPoints: 209

Also put up 35 points against the #1 scoring D in the country.  But since he did it in a more traditional scheme, it's not as impressive?  Not trying to start anything, but what did UM do against good defenses last year?  Oh right, they put up lots of yards.

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April 14th, 2011 at 5:22 PM | Iowa had a top 10 defense and (Score:1)
BigBlue02
Joined: 06/29/2009
MGoPoints: 1853

Iowa had a top 10 defense and Wisconsin had a top 25 defense and we scored quite a bit on them

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April 14th, 2011 at 1:21 PM | (No subject) (Score:1)
M-Wolverine
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Joined: 10/04/2009
MGoPoints: 39229

"I love him, he's a great coach, he's a great mentor, he's a great friend. He's every single thing you want a college coach to be, and he does it flawlessly." -David Molk

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April 14th, 2011 at 12:18 PM | No, all it requires is taking (Score:1)
gbdub
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Joined: 02/16/2010
MGoPoints: 2496

No, all it requires is taking Hoke's own words at face value. Basically everyone agrees that they hope a lot of Hoke's talk of downhill running and compressed fullback spines and "return to Michigan football" is nothing but coachspeak, since this team isn't built for that stuff and attempting it any time in the next two years will be ugly. It's just odd that Hoke's strongest supporters lead off their defense by claiming that Hoke's speeches are intentionally misleading.

Now, SDSU's offense has indicated that Hokeball is not manball - but then again Hoke himself has said "Michigan is different", and I rather doubt his "POWER!!!" rhetoric was quite so tuned up at SDSU. So who knows until fall?

Anyway I don't think MANBALL is directed so much at Hoke or Borges (clearly, Borges has never really run a manball scheme), rather it's a barb at the section of the fanbase that believes anything other than three yards and a cloud of dust is sacriligious. And anyone who claims that segment of the fanbase and that attitude doesn't exist, or that that segment had nothing to do with the fall of RR and hiring of Hoke to replace him, is just as ignorant of reality as those who are unaware of SDSU's shotgun 4 wideout sets.

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April 14th, 2011 at 12:38 PM | Hoke's speeches aren't (Score:1)
jmblue
Joined: 11/07/2008
MGoPoints: 29067

Hoke's speeches aren't intentionally misleading.  I don't think he is playing to his audience or hiding anything at all.  What he says does not contradict what he did at SDSU.  It's more that Brian and others have misunderstood what he's said - specifically, when he said that he did not believe in using zone blocking 100 percent of the time (something that everyone, RR included, would agree), Brian interpreted this to mean "0 percent of the time."  If he had actually watched SDSU play, he would not have come to that conclusion. 

 

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April 14th, 2011 at 1:23 PM | He also called the spread, (Score:1)
gbdub
gbdub's picture
Joined: 02/16/2010
MGoPoints: 2496

He also called the spread, with obvious derision, "basketball on grass".

But anyway, why do we assume that Michigan 2011 offense will be SDSU 2010 offense? Did Hoke spend as much time talking about power running at his press conferences in San Diego? He certainly didn't talk about "returning to Michigan football" in San Diego.

Anyway, the fact remains that most people here don't think Hoke will actually run "manball", and even Brian has called it a "platonic ideal". But Hoke's rhetoric certainly implies "manball", and is clearly designed to win the support of the fans who think football = statue QBs, handoff runs between the tackles, and Big Ten championships against outmatched opponents followed by embarrassing losses in the Rose Bowl.

So in that sense "manball" is a useful term to describe the idyll to which Hoke must pay homage, even if it doesn't represent a real thing we'll see on the field.

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April 14th, 2011 at 1:30 PM | I wish (Score:1)
Mitch Cumstein
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Joined: 10/02/2009
MGoPoints: 9649

He certainly didn't talk about "returning to Michigan football" in San Diego.

Now that would have been amazing.

"A flute with no holes is not a flute. A donut with no hole is a danish"

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April 14th, 2011 at 1:39 PM | You know the majority of spread offenses (Score:1)
M-Wolverine
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Joined: 10/04/2009
MGoPoints: 39229

Are passing ones? The true running one is pretty rare. Even Auburn didn't run it with their QB THAT much. Other than Rich, it's been Tebow Florida, and Oregon, mainly. Doesn't mean it hasn't worked successfully, but spread is a broad term.

And you talk to people, and hear that Hoke was basically running a Michigan program at SDS, so saying he wants to run one at Michigan isn't all that strange.

And your characterizing of what some fans think football is really is as silly as saying the "wussball" represents going 15-22, losing to your rivals by multiple touchdowns, and only beating Purdue in November, with embarrassing losses in the Gator Bowl, if you make a bowl". Which is completely unfair, and ignores the success lots of spread teams have had. Just as that view ignores teams like Alabama and USC that have own with MANBALL. (I should trademark that....)

"I love him, he's a great coach, he's a great mentor, he's a great friend. He's every single thing you want a college coach to be, and he does it flawlessly." -David Molk

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April 14th, 2011 at 3:50 PM | Of course my characterization (Score:1)
gbdub
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Joined: 02/16/2010
MGoPoints: 2496

Of course my characterization of manball is nonsensical. That's the whole point. There is an element of the fanbase (often with deep pockets) that are firm believers that the spread is not real football and will never work in the Big Ten. And they would probably take your moniker of "wussball" to accurately describe the Rich Rod scheme (how often did we hear griping about how "small" our players were?).

They are fools. But they exist, and seem to have the ear of the AD (hell, the AD may even be one of them, since he hasn't been involved in football since his glory days with Bo and yet seems to want to inject himself personally into the day-to-day affairs of the football team - I think Hoke knows football has changed since 1969, I'm not sure DB does). Hoke does well to play to this audience, as long as he doesn't try to turn Denard into John Navarre (which I don't think he wil).

Anyway my point is that MANBALL is a perfect term to describe the mythic schemes of yore championed by the sort of people who reflexively deride innovation as newfangled hooey that will never work in the Big Ten. It is unlikely to describe the 2011 Michigan offense.

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April 14th, 2011 at 5:25 PM | Saying Auburn didn't run it heavily (Score:1)
MGoBlue96
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Joined: 12/26/2010
MGoPoints: 1038

with their QB is incorrect. Cam Newton had 264 carries, which was about 80 carries more than their next  closest ballcarrier.

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April 14th, 2011 at 1:32 PM | Other than his one comment on mastering the power run (Score:1)
M-Wolverine
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Joined: 10/04/2009
MGoPoints: 39229

first, which, as the basic offensive football play, should come first, where has he ever said MANBALL? He's talked about toughness, but damn, I hope that's not lip service, I'd like to see more toughness, on both sides of the ball. I'd like to be able to convert 3rd and 1 without going into a shotgun that has a 50-50 chance of losing yards rather than gaining one. Or have 4 shots at the goalline, and you know, get in. Or not let a team run every single play in a half. Toughness isn't necessarily a bad thing. So no, not everybody hopes it's just coachspeak. Coachspeak was hearing it before, and not seeing it. I hope he can institute it.

Now do I hope for 100% MANBALL with the current personnel? No. But then I don't hope for it with any personnel. I hope this time around we mold the talent to the players we have, while teaching them new things, meshing the systems in transition, rather than just jumping into the fire. But even when it's all Hoke's guys, I would hope (and think) we won't be all 3 yards and a cloud of dust. Lloyd, for his conservative nature, passed more than he ran in the end.  With a more passing scheme offensive, I would think we would too. 

So, I don't think we've heard as much as some have, and in some respects, it's a good thing, and in others, it's not really that different than what we were doing under Rich. The difference was when Rich would say it, no one would believe it except places like this that would point out the running numbers, and now everyone believes it, to the extent that the same people forget what we were doing before, that they were defending it, and now thinking it was a bad thing. The main difference is we're hopefully not depending on our QB to do it until he breaks anymore.

"I love him, he's a great coach, he's a great mentor, he's a great friend. He's every single thing you want a college coach to be, and he does it flawlessly." -David Molk

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April 14th, 2011 at 2:37 PM | By toughness, do you mean (Score:1)
Marshmallow
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Joined: 11/08/2009
MGoPoints: -114

By toughness, do you mean losing to a I-AA team on your home field or losing by 30 the next weekend to Oregon?

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April 14th, 2011 at 5:43 PM | You are (Score:1)
raiderblue
Joined: 01/23/2011
MGoPoints: 584

a fucking idiot. By toughness we mean 11 national championships, 42 big ten championships and 39 bowl games, not 15-22 and 6-18.

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April 14th, 2011 at 8:12 PM | I think the idiot is the (Score:1)
Marshmallow
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Joined: 11/08/2009
MGoPoints: -114

I think the idiot is the person who thinks changing coaches is going to transform a team from not tough to tough.  Or that saying you're going to be a tough team is sufficient (if you believe this, you're the fucking idiot, not me).  That's assuming our teams weren't tough to begin with, which is ridiculous. 

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April 14th, 2011 at 8:21 PM | (No Subject) (Score:1)
OMG Shirtless
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Joined: 08/16/2009
MGoPoints: 1506

His Dudeness?

I put up a tough front, but deep down I just want to be held.

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April 15th, 2011 at 3:59 PM | No, Rich Rod's teams were not (Score:1)
raiderblue
Joined: 01/23/2011
MGoPoints: 584

No, Rich Rod's teams were not tough, they had  "hard edge"

 

 

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April 14th, 2011 at 5:34 PM | Is that you Rich? (Score:1)
yoopergoblue
yoopergoblue's picture
Joined: 02/11/2010
MGoPoints: 1979

Is that you Rich?

"They will meet a dastardly fate here for that! There isn't a Michigan Man who wouldn't like go out and scalp those Buckeyes right now."

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April 14th, 2011 at 11:34 AM | posted from iPhone (Score:1)
FreddieMercuryHayes
Joined: 12/29/2010
MGoPoints: 4991

At first I was gonna get all mad at the continued use of "manball", but I just enjoyed thinking about Jackson as Yoda too much. Kudos to for making the tired meme actually kind of funny.

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April 14th, 2011 at 11:39 AM | Oh... FJ is fred Jackson (Score:1)
JeepinBen
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Joined: 01/22/2010
MGoPoints: 9577

I thought they were going to carry one of these:

or these:

"Over? Did you say, over? Nothing is over until we decide it is!"

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April 14th, 2011 at 11:46 AM | I actually had the exact same (Score:1)
GoBlueInNYC
GoBlueInNYC's picture
Joined: 03/23/2010
MGoPoints: 5929

I actually had the exact same reaction. I saw the thread title and made sure my hackles were good and raised by the time I clicked on it. Only to be pleasantly surprised by how funny it was.

I am this close to going all Dark Blue in here.

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April 14th, 2011 at 1:41 PM | I thought Bo was Yoda... (Score:1)
M-Wolverine
M-Wolverine's picture
Joined: 10/04/2009
MGoPoints: 39229

Is that not true with Tate gone...?

"I love him, he's a great coach, he's a great mentor, he's a great friend. He's every single thing you want a college coach to be, and he does it flawlessly." -David Molk

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April 14th, 2011 at 11:56 AM | Wuss. If you had been MANBALL (Score:1)
GoBlueInNYC
GoBlueInNYC's picture
Joined: 03/23/2010
MGoPoints: 5929

Wuss. If you had been MANBALL enough to do an image search for "MANBALL" you would have been treated to such treasures as this:

I am this close to going all Dark Blue in here.

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April 14th, 2011 at 12:09 PM | Micheal Keaton as Batman (Score:1)
Blazefire
Blazefire's picture
Joined: 04/17/2009
MGoPoints: 15753

Now that's some serious MANBALL right there.

No, seriously. That face is because of testicular chafing from the rubber bat suit.

"This is the EMU game, not the emo game."
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April 14th, 2011 at 1:42 PM | Better than if you try looking up (Score:1)
M-Wolverine
M-Wolverine's picture
Joined: 10/04/2009
MGoPoints: 39229

man ball

"I love him, he's a great coach, he's a great mentor, he's a great friend. He's every single thing you want a college coach to be, and he does it flawlessly." -David Molk

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April 14th, 2011 at 4:49 PM | I think "man ball" might be (Score:1)
GoBlueInNYC
GoBlueInNYC's picture
Joined: 03/23/2010
MGoPoints: 5929

I think "man ball" might be the name of a guitar or something. Because when I searched "MANBALL" is also returned results for "man ball," which half the time was an electric guitar.

Also, not to brag, but I just wanted to point out that my image search was with Safe Search turned off. MANBALL!!!

I am this close to going all Dark Blue in here.

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