Beautiful ND Schadenfreude is Beautiful
I was on ND's Rivals board and saw this piece of schadenfreude that was just too good not to share. Enjoy:
I want everyone's honest answer.
If I were to tell you the following would happen under Kelly before he was hired, how many of you would have actually wanted to hire him.
He would lose ten games through two seasons.
He would oversee multiple player arrests during his first two and half seasons which would range from DUI to drug possession to assaulting a police officer.
His first three recruiting classes would finish #14, #10, and #20.
Of the total allowable allotment of scholarship players to offer during his first three years of 75, he would sign only 63 players, with two of those players being specialists.
Of those 63 players, six would no longer with the team (including the best player he has signed)which would bring his player total to 57 players over three years or an average of only 19 per year. Six players below what the average allotment would be.
Of those 57 players, 31 players would be rated three stars or lower and only five players would finish ranked in the Rivals top100.
Also contained in those classes would be 11 defensive backs, with only two players rated a four star and none in the Rivals top100....
I'll post the rest of that post down below as a comment.
Click on the link below and read through the thread. There's a couple more lengthy posts from the same guy. Other ND fans on that board accuse him of not being a ND fan and he goes off on them. Pure gold.
Link: http://notredame.rivals.com/showmsg.asp?fid=335&tid=155011894&mid=155011894&sid=961&style=2
"He would go into his third season (considered the watershed season for all ND coaches) without being settled on a starting quarterback despite have two players going into their junior years (with one being an early enrollee), one player going into his sophomore year (also an early enrollee), and a five star freshman (also an early enrollee). He would also have massive holes and a lack of talent at the wide receiver position.
He would have these weaknesses at QB and WR despite the fact that he runs a pass happy, finesse offense and does not have a working knowledge of establishing a legitimate running game at the BCS level.
He would also having gaping holes in the depth chart and lack of talent at the defensive back position, which would only get worse the following year when his starting safeties both vacate the team.
There would be no buzz or momentum going around the program because of an embarrassing home field loss to USC (for which the coach was more concerned about making TV appearances during the bye week, polishing the helmets, and selecting various Jock Rock songs to play during the game), narrowly beating a mediocre BC team at home, getting manhandled by Stanford, and blowing the bowl game against a 7-5 FSU team because of strategy bumblings on defense in the second half.
He would lose his home opener in his second year to a team that would finish 5-7 and 1-6 in the worst BCS conference in the country.
He would be 0-2 versus Michigan with one of the losses being one of the most epic meltdowns in sports history.
He would get de-pants on prime time national TV against one of the most conservative and least savvy coaches in the nation in Mark Dantonio in his third game as coach at ND on the heels of a blown fourth quarter lead loss to Michigan.
He would follow up his prime time national TV de-pants-ing by having his team bent over at home by a modest collection of three star talents and guys that were generally passed over by ND.
A few games after that he would suffer the worst defeat to Navy in the school's history, also on national television.
He would draw the ire of most of the national media by his purple faced, frustrated tirades on the sidelines as he would demonstrate the maturity and poise of a four year old.
He would divide the locker room after a tough loss to USC by throwing half his team under the bus publicly in an attempt to cover up his own coaching deficiencies.
He would lose to top100 players down the stretch of recruiting because he did not bother to keep up with them or do his due diligence with them after they verbaled.
He would waist his time and energy recruiting another top100 player that would not even have the ability to remain on campus for over two months.
He would lose the first verbal commitment of the class and a life long ND fan.
He would have two of his coaches stolen away from him by Urban Meyer.
He would have all three of his top defensive back recruits stolen away from him by Urban Meyer before he even bothered to organize his first junior day. He would also have his top four offensive line recruits stolen away from him by Michigan before he even bothered to organize his first junior day.
Despite glaring needs at CB for this recruiting cycle he has already received verbal commitments from two 3 star players that are no more highly rated than the players already on campus and one of the players is oft injured and did not even play CB in high school.
He would also have a glaring need for a talent and speed upgrade at the WR position and already accepted verbal commitments from two 3 star players, with neither running under a 4.40 forty.
And to put a cherry on top of this dumpster fire of a regime, he would take a "wait and see" approach for a player that assaulted a police officer and another player that verbally threatened the life of a police officer.
This on the heels of the school have their most visible player suspended for the Spring and Summer under DUI charges the year before and also having a player charged with drug possession (who also did not miss any time).
The only thing Kelly is doing at ND is dragging it down, down, down.
Poor performance on the field, stocking an empty cupboard for the next coach by not getting the necessary quantity or quality of players, making wide sweeping changes to the traditional uniforms by trying to be some half-assed Oregon, cheesing up the stadium experience with Jock Rock, and embarrassing the school with various public tirades.
Would anyone honestly want to hire Kelly knowing all of this?
I didn't think so.
The ND players deserve better."
eeehh.. That was a bit much.. probably could have stuck with just the link. It's entertaining, but not THAT entertaining.
There was definately a downward spiral from reasoned facts to angry rant. However, I still found it to be quite entertaining, but I REALLY hate Notre Dame.
Let the hate flow through you
The great thing is that the angry rant section of his diatribe was actually pretty damned accurate...
Notre Dame puts out a crappy football product. The natives are getting restless.
You are now ready to ace your final.
Damn OP with his damn internet laser gun that forces other members to read his posts.
Friday morning at work, no forcing here.
Irish tears are awesome to behold. See my MGoName fergodsakes.
I especially liked the reference to "de-pants-ing".
I mean, yeah, it was, but it isn't!
I cannot get enough schade. i love it. i would freebase it if i could only get chuck muncie to show me how.
Who are the 4 OL we "stole" from ND?
Don't the O-lineman have to ND commits to be "stolen"? Irish fans are hilarious
They did get the earliest OL commit from Elmer, but I believe they were recruiting Bosch and Kugler pretty hard. Not sure about 4 tho, and they do have a very solid OL class.
LTT as well.
I assume "stolen" means any guy they had an offer out to, which... well, good luck with that. Nobody's anywhere close to batting 100% when top kids have like 10 to 20 offers.
You forgot who we are dealing with. Domer fans think that there is no reason why anyone would want to go anywhere but Notre Dame. They have the best tradition, coach, stadium, campus, academics, football team, etc. and they would love to tell you all about it.
No offense, but isn't this the pot calling the kettle black? I can't even begin to tell you how many times a kid commits to a school other than Michigan and then people on here start to rag on that school. You don't have to go back very far to find examples either. Just pull up any Josh Garnett thread.
I could care less about ND fans, but every fan of a school thinks their team/tradition/stadium/education is the best. Our fan base is certainly one of them.
What's not to like?
I do not agree with that. I do not like Dantonio personally, but frankly he's had a better record at Michigan State than Nick Saban did. He's had them in a bowl for five straight years for what I believe is the only time in school history, and they haven't had anything approaching this good a run since the late eighties under George Perles.
He's also had a better record than any Irish coach since Lou Holtz.
I mean, he beat them on a fake FG. Seems pretty savvy to me!
In fairness, Saban was smart to get out when he did.
And "most conservative" is a pretty stupid description as well. If Dantonio has a motto it's probably "this just might be crazy enough to work."
Yeah, kind of lost me halfway through. Yes, losing to Michigan and being a mediocre program hurts, but some of those losses were just tough ones that somebody has to lose. The Under the Lights game was a real toss-up, and it happened to go UM's way. I think ND's problems are systemic to the way they view their program compared to reality, but that's more on recruiting and less on a couple of heart-breaking losses.
On a delusional insane ND fan scale of 1 to 10, i would put that guy at around 18 billion.
Just curious, you seem to hate Notre Dame with more of a passion than most here. Are you from South Bend or do you just happen to hate them?
So, tell us how you really feel.
and welcome all the schade you care to share. cheers.
I'm glad you said "most" and not "all".
"He would be 0-2 versus Michigan with one of the losses being one of the most epic meltdowns in sports history"
Just reliving the moment. Ahhh. Insert Don Criqui here.
NEVER gets old.
It amazes me that a program as big as ND can't find more talented radio broadcasters than those guys.
It kills me everytime I see your avatar. It's a Denver sports writer isn't it?
My immediate thought was Kid Rock.
Joe Dirt
That video is pure football porn.
The thing I never get about that clip is the crowd noise. That was one of THE loudest games I've ever been to, and not only is the crowd noise quiet in that clip, it actually sounds like there's mostly booing.
Did they put a microphone in a pillow and put it in the middle of the visitors section or something?
Honestly that's more crowd noise than I've ever heard on radio. Radio tends to not relay crowd noise at all and in that clip you can definitely tell it was getting loud.
The Big Ten Network showed that game now and again...oh, wait....maybe that helps drive the ND schadenfreude...
to not watch that each and every time I see it embedded on MGoBlog.
I watch it. Every single time. Without exception. It's worth it.
Just give in... you know you want to
I would be interested in one, how about "Incomplete... wait... Touchdown"
I couldn't find the longer version where he complains that they haven't explained the flag despite the fact that you can hear the call on the radio. That is epically beautiful schadenfreude.
"Steps up and throws it...to a wide open receiver. This is incredible, Michigan is going to score"
All the dead airtime during that play. You don't really notice it as much on the video, because you can see what's going on. But there's probably 5 seconds of just absolute nothining except for crowd noise and Criqui bitching, and if you were listening to it on the radio you'd have no idea what was going on.
I can just see Criqui with his head in his hands during that play, completely resigned. The thought fills me with glee.