The Ballad of Borges

Submitted by ST3 on

    I'm sure most of you are familiar with song parodist, Weird Al Yankovic. When I was a kid, he became mildly famous for such hits as, "Eat It," "Like a Surgeon," and "Fat." Anyway, I was listening to my Pandora Rush station this week, and I could swear they played a Weird Al song. Oh sure, they claimed it was "The Trees" by Rush, by what I heard was, "The Ballad of Weird Al Borgevic."

There is unrest on the blog,
There is trouble with seat license fees,
For the spread zealots want more bubble screenz
And the Hoke ignores their pleas.

The trouble with the zealots,
(And they're quite convinced of their ways)
They say the Borges is just too predictable
And he telegraphs all his plays.
But the Borges can't help his feelings
If he likes the plays he's made.
And he wonders why the spread zealots
Can't be happy in his shade.

There is trouble in the program,
And the students all have fled,
As the zealots scream "Regression!"
And the Borges just shakes his hands

So the zealots formed a thread
And demanded press conference questions.
"The Borges is just too predictable;
We will make him give us screenz."
Now there's no more Borges regression,
For Brandon passed a noble law,
And the Borges is kept equal
By hatchet, axe, and saw.

Happy Appreciationsgiving!

LSAClassOf2000

November 27th, 2013 at 2:34 PM ^

Part VI was "The Ghost Of The Aragon" and Game #6 was Penn State. Oh, the fun we could have inserting lyrics into some of the parts. That being said, I think they have inserted words into snippets of the entire work in live performances, or so I have heard from people. 

"Hemispheres" is a great album. Good job, OP.

G. Gulo of the Dale

November 27th, 2013 at 3:10 PM ^

You just made me think of the backside of a nude Al Borges as he holds his hands up in front of a glowing red OSU logo.  Gordon Gee's voice--rendered much deeper--is insisting "We have assumed control, We have assumed control" over a loud-speaker.  Somehow in all of this Ayn Rand is actually Jim Delaney, which... well... there might be something there.   

DingleberryFinn.

November 27th, 2013 at 3:36 PM ^

I feel like during games, Al Borges is continually listening to 'My Humps' by the Black Eyed Peas. I say this because that song isn't comprehensible and neither is his play-calling.

Maize and Blue…

November 27th, 2013 at 9:30 PM ^

                                              A Farewell to Borges<br>When  they turn the pages of history<p> When these days have passed long ago.<p>Will they think of us with saddness for the offense we let grow?<br>We turned our gaze from the Rose Bowl in the distance<p>Eyes cast down on the path of least resistance<br>Press conferences full of hatred,fear,and lies<p>Greedy hearts,and fans tormented eyes<p>Scheming factions dressed in noble guise<p>Brow-beating down the multitude<p>and scoffing at the wise.<br>The apologists are slandering the sacred halls of truth<p>Old gaurd cronyists showering their bitterness on youth<p>Can't we find the minds that made us strong?<p>Can't we learn to admit when somethings wrong?<p>Something's wrong.<br>Backrooms filled with hatred,fear,and lies<p>Whithered hearts and scared tormented eyes<p>Scheming admin. dressed in kingly guise<p>Beating down the fanbase<p>and scoffing at the press<Can't we raise our eyes and make a new start<p>Can't we find one mind to lead us closer to playing with heart.<br><br>For entertainment purposes only.

chatster

November 28th, 2013 at 12:55 AM ^

After having suffered through insults for trying to write here in verse, but always appreciative of the creative efforts of others, I applaud you.  I was never a big fan of Rush, but you've inspired me to take a shot at a parody of New World Man, using your theme:

He had Toussaint as his runner
Though he could’ve turned to Green
And he might’ve called on Norfleet
If he’d run the bubble screen
 
He’s got a problem with his offense
Switching centers, moving guards
While they try to learn his system
They keep on losing yards
 
After one more defeat with the Bor-ges plan
He’s gotta feel the heat from his Bor-ges plan
 
He’s made too many big mistakes
Won’t fix the mess with calls he makes
He still believes his calls are right
But most of them are useless
There’s got to be some better calls
But he would never use ‘em
That’s the Bor-ges plan
 
He could’ve used receivers
On quick slants to pick up yards
But he stuck with his old game plans
So now Gardner’s ego’s scarred
 
His backs can’t run with power
When there’s just no open hole
His ever-shifting O line
Still can’t maintain control
 
Crying about each play of the Bor-ges plan
Might have to do away with the Bor-ges plan
 
He’s not concerned with winning plays
He’s just not about to change his ways
He’s stubborn enough to say he’s right
But we can’t buy his excuses
He’s got to know his plan won’t win
But each game he renews it
That’s the Bor-ges plan