Awards that the Big 10 forgot about
Great article by Dr Saturday here. The proposed awards:
- Spielman-Tiller Mustache Award: Presented annually to the player or coach who best upholds the conference's longstanding tradition of first-rate lip guards. (2010 winner: Taylor Lewan)
- Dwight-Sutherland Award: Presented annually to the "possession receiver," "short-yardage back" or "sure-handed" return man who displays the best "deceptive speed."
- Gibson-Branch Award: Presented annually to the player most likely to be lying to keep his listed weight below 400 pounds.
- Stubblefield-Bryant Trophy: Awarded annually to the player who attains the most improbable career record by virtue of sheer longevity
- Smith-Mason Trophy: Awarded annually to the coach who best embodies the ideals of sportsmanship and generosity toward opponents in the fourth quarter
- Fitzgerald-McGarigle Trophy: Awarded annually to the random, mediocre athlete with no NFL future who inexplicably makes every tackle on the field over multiple seasons. (2010 Winner: Jordan Kovacs)
- Clarett Prize: Awarded irregularly to promising players who exhibit the most thorough off-field collapse, possibly resulting in incarceration (2010 winner: Boubacar Cissoko)
December 13th, 2010 at 8:07 PM ^
I posted these in the other thread, but:
The Turner-Boren speed eater of the year award.
Feagin-Koulianos distributor of the year.
Cissoko-Clarette achievement in felonious activity.
Terell-Slocum bomb-ass dick award for the comment of the year.
December 13th, 2010 at 8:22 PM ^
The Bill Lynch Gum Tossing Championship Trophy presented by Juicy Fruit.
December 13th, 2010 at 8:24 PM ^
should have Lewans name all over it
December 13th, 2010 at 8:26 PM ^
deserves an award as well
December 13th, 2010 at 8:30 PM ^
7. Clarett Prize deserves to be hyphenated...
Schlichter-Clarett Prize!
After all: Between 1995 and 2006, he (Art Schlichter) served the equivalent of 10 years in 44 various prisons and jails across the Midwest.
I'm also thinking that between Andre Rison, Plax, Chuck Rogers and (I know I'm missing one or two here) there ought be an award for former MSU WRs who've gone to the other side of the bars...
December 13th, 2010 at 8:31 PM ^
Mandarich-Gholston Award: the most overhyped played to most likely be a massive bust in the NFL.
December 13th, 2010 at 9:07 PM ^
Right names but wrong honor I think.
Mandarich-Gholston Award: For the player able to perform amazing feats of power and agility at the combine only to lose significant weight and srength upon actually entering the NFL.
December 13th, 2010 at 9:26 PM ^
Wait are you implying that Gholston did the same things in college as Mandarich?!?! I, for one, am appalled!!!
December 13th, 2010 at 9:36 PM ^
You tell me.......
December 13th, 2010 at 8:33 PM ^
Lewan is a lock for winning the mustache award the next 3 years.
December 13th, 2010 at 8:35 PM ^
RBUAS?
December 13th, 2010 at 8:38 PM ^
The Burress-Rogers Award for WR with most extra curricular activities (2010 winner- DJK)
December 13th, 2010 at 9:21 PM ^
My vote's for the Dantonio-Bielema award for narcissistic coach most likely to scream his own name during an orgasm.
December 13th, 2010 at 9:22 PM ^
Why did you make me think about that?
December 14th, 2010 at 1:16 AM ^
BielemAAAAAAA
DantoniOOOOOOO
December 13th, 2010 at 9:22 PM ^
December 13th, 2010 at 9:27 PM ^
Wow, what an honor it must be to win an award that is also named after you!
December 13th, 2010 at 9:34 PM ^
Alvarez Award: Bldoairjeoanfoaeinfnv!!!!!!!!!!!
December 13th, 2010 at 9:52 PM ^
The Tressel-Tressel Sweatervest Award for most fabulous sideline attire by a coach (presented by Uggs and Seagrams Wine Coolers).
December 13th, 2010 at 9:57 PM ^
With Seagrams backing it. It has to be good.
December 13th, 2010 at 10:21 PM ^
Need I say more?
December 13th, 2010 at 10:46 PM ^
Burress award - For the player that makes it to the NFL and shoots his career in the....foot.
December 13th, 2010 at 11:18 PM ^
Denard -??????? Most untackelable!!!
December 14th, 2010 at 2:52 AM ^
Not sure why Denard would get this award named after him. After Indiana he was pretty tackleable.
December 14th, 2010 at 1:11 AM ^
Oh, wait. That already goes to the D-III champ
December 14th, 2010 at 1:14 AM ^
for the player that is most terrorizing to mail boxes
December 14th, 2010 at 1:19 AM ^
for the best "swimmer"
December 14th, 2010 at 2:13 AM ^
The best big ten offensive lineman: Long-Hutchinson award...It is also the favorite award of all big ten cheerleaders
December 14th, 2010 at 2:45 AM ^
The Tom Hoying Dynasty Award-- Typically given as a legacy to an player who has a brother on the team that is both a better person and a better football player.
I give you this year's winner:
December 14th, 2010 at 8:53 AM ^
The Todd Harris Award - for sideline interview prowess
Lloyd Carr won every year.
December 14th, 2010 at 8:56 AM ^
How about the Winston-Butler Award for excellence in nerd beatdowns?
December 14th, 2010 at 10:12 AM ^
The Gee-Hollis Executive S#!*-Talker of the Year Award
December 14th, 2010 at 1:13 PM ^
I put this on the Brian thread, but:
The Big Ten conference has been around since 1896 -- 114 years -- and yet the vast majority of the names on the player trophies are for players since 1960. Grange, Graham, Nagurski, Ameche, and Eddleman -- 5 players out of 28. That is absolutely ridiculous, and does utter violence to the Big Ten's history.
I almost want to call for Delany's resignation over this -- how do you ignore the vast majority of the Big Ten's heritage like that? Unbelievable.