I, for one, like reading all the foreign Kozan tweets that I don't understand so much that I will continue to search 'Kozan' on twitter even after he decides (ie, I haven't heard anything new).
Any Update on Kozan??
You think there's been enough jokes, witty remarks, and sarcasm made in this thread yet?
He's not coming to Michigan. The kind of person that plays for Michigan knows they want to play for Michigan and is not wishy-washy, etc. Someone that waits til after signing day, in my opinion, is not coming to Michigan. This is just based on what we've seen the past few years and also my gut feeling. Granted, I'm no Sam Webb, and I didn't stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night. But I am pretty smart and 60% of the time, I'm right every time. So I've got that going for me, which is nice.
[Ed - I do now, beatohio!]
You opened the account 10 years ago and forgot about it. The account has a couple grand in it. Nothing that would change your life. One day you open your mail and there it is. You are happy and you take your wife to Chicago for a weekend. However, If you tossed your mail thinking it was junk, no big deal - life goes on.
but that is one of the dumbest analogies I have ever read on this blog.
I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Treat Kozan like a pickling cucumber. Maybe he gets aged in salty vinegar (comes to UM) and turns into a delicious pickle. Maybe he gets cut up and tossed with some field greens and balsamic vinaigrette and becomes a part of a delicious mixed green salad (goes to Iowa). Maybe he doesn't get purchased at all and gets thrown away by the pimply sixteen year old that works in the produce section (goes to Auburn).
Either way, I guess my point is that cucumbers are kind of good, but pickles are also kind of good.
What the fuck is an Oyster Monkey?
It's just the interwebs handle I use. I came up with it from one of my favorite quotes from the philosopher John Locke:
Any very ignorant person, who can but make a proposition, and knows what he means when he says ay or no, may make a million of propositions of whose truth he may be infallibly certain, and yet not know one thing in the world thereby; v.g. "what is a soul, is a soul,"; or, "a soul is a soul"; "a spirit is a spirit"; "a fetiche is a fetiche," &c. These all being equivalent to this proposition, viz. what is, is; i.e. what hath existence, hath existence; or, who hath a soul, hath a soul. What is this more than trifling with words? It is but like a monkey shifting his oyster from one hand to the other: and had he but words, might no doubt have said, "Oyster in right hand is subject, and oyster in left hand is predicate": and so might have made a self-evident proposition of oyster, i.e. oyster is oyster; and yet, with all this, not have been one whit the wiser or more knowing: and that way of handling the matter would much at once have satisfied the monkey's hunger, or a man's understanding, and they would have improved in knowledge and bulk together.
It also provides me with the title of my blog, discreetly linked to in my signature.
That if there is any Kozan news, it'll find its way onto this board in light speed -- regardless of whether or not there is a thread asking for it.
Somehow, I doubt that this would have been posted in its own thread.
All signs point to Auburn.
Speaking of signs......have you guys seen the secret nuclear bunker? Don't tell anybody if you have cause it's a secret!
I was too busy touching this sign...
would only suggest Ohio if the picture was of a person shatting on a cooler. This obviously is NOT Ohio.
the good people of Ohio how to use a commode instead of a cooler.
The words Commode and Cooler are far too similar for people in Ohio. They both start with the letter C, have a couple O's in them, and an E thrown in for good measure. They would need at least a Masters from Ohio to be able to differentiate the two. They should have had clear illustrations in the instructions.
So I can still fish in my toilet anywhere besides Ohio? Phew
Auburn has their own Ace Williams:
From 30 minutes ago:
Report; Alex Kozan to announce that he will sign with Auburn at 12:30 ET
From Jan 29 (his last "Report"):
Report: Armstead eliminates Oregon from decision. Between Auburn and Cal...
Well he does have one follower so perhaps it's true. He wouldnt want to let that guy down now would he?
Yes, but that guy's last name is Perdue, which is the same as Purdue, which means Kozan can be snake oiled, which means Kozan to Michigan!
after saying that academics are very important, something tells me he won't be coming to Ann Arbor.
recruit speak for "do I really have to attend class?"
that sees 'kozan' around here and thinks, 'fuck him'.
You very well might be.
We need a center.
I can't be the only person around here who sees "wiper" and thinks, "asshole."
Just taking a guess here that since most of this site is guys nobody in particular is thinking that. Also, you're a tool
I can honestly say I have never once thought "fuck him" when any dude's name has been mentioned here on the board. Not once...not ever.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Dantonio, Tressel, Meyer, Izzo, Terelle Pryor. Do any of those elicit an unfavorable reaction from you?
Finkell is Kozan...Kozan is Finkell...
No update but I did take the time to unearth this photo, "Brian by the Pixel", by Heiko. Feel free to photoshop now or later. I just can't bear to see it forgotten.
If we get him I have a nickname for him: Kozan the Barbarian.
due to unforeseen circumstances.
Hopefully Kozan gets a kick back from each of the recruiting services for all the premium subscriptions he's selling.
Also, I've accidently tweeted "Kozan" twice while trying to do freakin' twitter search. Commit already kid, my wife and dog miss me.
I don't know who Jay Parks is, but he thinks this per Direct Snap:
parks_recruit Jay Parks
Heard this: Alex Kozan will commit to Auburn in the next 48 hours. Was committed to Iowa for a couple of days. #tigers #hawkeyes
8 hours ago Favorite Retweet Reply