Ace Williams is in high school
I really wish I didn't have to reiterate this, but since I've gotten a half-dozen emails about this transfer bullshit let me restate a few things:
1. ACE WILLIAMS IS IN HIGH SCHOOL. He signed up with an account here that I googled and traced back to a metro Detroit high school. He is 16. The last time this came up, he was 14. You'll note that his twitter bio pictures are re-appropriate male models.
In any case, the amount of insider information he has is zero.
2. EVERYTHING HE STATES IS BASED ON EXTANT INTERNET RUMORS. I follow all this stuff very closely and his pattern is apparent: people start buzzing about random internet user X--previously mostly message boards, these days twitter--and this particular rumor was sourced from some dudes twitter account.
3. HE IS NOT VERY HINGED EVEN FOR A 16 YEAR OLD. This is an email he sent the last time this came up and I exposed him.
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9/22/11
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Fuck you asshole. I will kick your fucking ass. You and your retarded fats aunts that go to Michigan games in sect 4.
(I don't sit in 4.) The last time this happened, "Ace WIlliams" created a fake twitter feed for our Ace in which he tweeted at kids trashing Michigan because he was mad at being outed.
4. "ACE WILLIAMS" needs help. If you suspect that you know this child, please get him the psychological help he needs.
5. He is not a source of information. This goes without saying, right? The reason all references to him get deleted is because you might as well be posting about the predictive capabilities of your farts.
November 9th, 2013 at 3:41 AM ^
My farts are a pretty good predictor of unhappiness for the people around me.
November 9th, 2013 at 9:00 AM ^
1. After a long night and a few cups of coffee never trust one.
2. If farting in an elevator make sure you are alone or with more than 1 other person.
3. It's possible to fart for longer than 15 seconds... Plan accordingly.
4. Crop dusting is acceptable
November 9th, 2013 at 9:21 AM ^
November 9th, 2013 at 10:46 AM ^
Faces of rules.
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4.
November 9th, 2013 at 9:57 AM ^
You're signature really ties everything together nicely.
November 9th, 2013 at 11:42 AM ^
Is crop dusting the same thing as the pick-and-roll?
November 9th, 2013 at 11:04 AM ^
"You're signature really ties everything together nicely."
November 9th, 2013 at 12:18 PM ^
What is that supposed to mean? A Christian can't reference South Park? Kiss my butt.
November 9th, 2013 at 1:30 PM ^
Dude, if you're a christian then you should just forgive him.
November 9th, 2013 at 3:42 AM ^
November 9th, 2013 at 5:00 AM ^
November 9th, 2013 at 6:03 AM ^
My fat ass brother and me will be sitting in section 4 today along with the wife. He's got a beard so I'm pretty sure Ace won't mistake him for your aunt but what about my wife jill? You don't suppose Ace will think she's your aunt and will try and kick her ass do you?
I'm telling you right now-first high school kid who gets near us IS GOING DOWN!
November 9th, 2013 at 6:05 AM ^
Yikes. I'm taking my nephew who is in HS. We'll be staying away from section 4 and groups comprised of "fat ass" guys with beards, old guys and women named Jill. And we definitely won't be wearing an "I love Al" t-shirt.
November 9th, 2013 at 6:05 AM ^
Your nephew is in High School? And he's going to the Michigan game?
HE'S ACE WILLIAMS!!!!!!!!!
November 9th, 2013 at 6:12 AM ^
Crap, I've been discovered. Gave too much away. BTW, his real name is "Red Baron" Williams, "Ace" is just a nickname. I've got a credible, inside source that told me.
November 9th, 2013 at 8:30 AM ^
If you're trying to stay away from fat asses with beards then you better not go to the game.
November 9th, 2013 at 11:37 AM ^
I'm respectably plump and I have a goatee, thank you very much.
November 9th, 2013 at 1:31 PM ^
People must describe you as lovable.
November 9th, 2013 at 3:43 AM ^
November 9th, 2013 at 4:01 AM ^
That is one bitter 16 year old. I think an intervention is in order.
November 9th, 2013 at 4:09 AM ^
This is fu**ing hilarious.
Also, I can see a scenario playing out where a/the mod(s) wakes up in a few hours and gets on here to start the morning "look over", sees his thread and says to himself "Oh jesus, now what, nothing like nerfing threads about forbidden douche bags first thing in the morning on Gameday.." and then realizing what this actually is, and "ohhh, well I'll be damned".
November 9th, 2013 at 4:07 AM ^
I think Ace is my favorite villian. He's a pretty entertaining character and his sub-plots are always good troll fodder.
November 9th, 2013 at 10:23 AM ^
I always think of him as a Bizzaro Ace Anbender.
November 9th, 2013 at 4:11 AM ^
November 9th, 2013 at 4:12 AM ^
There's a perfect negative coorelation between my farting and having sex with my wife. I'd say that's pretty damn predictive. Should I go ahead and start a thread about it?
November 9th, 2013 at 9:04 AM ^
November 9th, 2013 at 4:12 AM ^
There's a perfect negative coorelation between my farting and having sex with my wife. I'd say that's pretty damn predictive. Should I go ahead and start a thread about it?
November 9th, 2013 at 4:20 AM ^
Nope but Two posts will suffice...Zing!
November 9th, 2013 at 4:40 AM ^
This can only mean that she gets turned on when you fart. Does she have a sister?
November 9th, 2013 at 11:11 AM ^
November 9th, 2013 at 1:33 PM ^
Are you Jimmy Kimmel?
November 9th, 2013 at 5:03 AM ^
When I read the headline I thought it was being figurative, but he is literally in HS. Wow.
November 9th, 2013 at 5:08 AM ^
November 9th, 2013 at 7:46 AM ^
November 9th, 2013 at 6:25 AM ^
I don't know about you,but color me turned on. Way to go Ace!!
November 9th, 2013 at 6:31 AM ^
I dunno Brian, it appears that Ace Williams is having some influence on you. I noticed that you just changed your avatar to an age-appropriate male model.
November 9th, 2013 at 8:34 AM ^
Yeah, what's up with that? That was a cool design. Maybe I should take it for myself...
November 9th, 2013 at 6:48 AM ^
November 9th, 2013 at 8:11 AM ^
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AqO0bxFAw9w
November 9th, 2013 at 11:30 AM ^
November 9th, 2013 at 1:35 PM ^
Damefan actually sat a few seats away from me at the Notre Dame game this year. His behavior consisted of prolonged hand clapping when Notre Dame made a good play. I was appauled.
November 9th, 2013 at 6:56 AM ^
I suppose then that this is not the best time to share the Normalized Fart Chart, which I have graphed by meal and use to predict which foods I might want to avoid in a social setting. Needless to say, if I eat at Buffalo Wild Wings (for example), the model I have created says, "Just go home...just go".
In any case, I was in a conversation about his "sources" on Twitter, and it struck me that Ace Williams must get his stuff from someone like this (thanks to the person that actually went to the trouble and made it):
November 9th, 2013 at 7:03 AM ^
November 9th, 2013 at 7:04 AM ^
November 9th, 2013 at 9:38 AM ^
November 9th, 2013 at 7:12 AM ^
just make doing anything un-fun. I wonder how much other crap Brian has to deal with as part of running a popular blog... <shields eyes>
November 9th, 2013 at 7:57 AM ^
Wow, this is crazy. All because of a hack blogger there's a ton of SEC schools wondering if they'll be able to poach "highly recruited" Michigan player X...
Can a high schooler be sued for defamation?
November 9th, 2013 at 8:47 AM ^