$15 of sacrifice for a 2014 Michigan Football National Championship (FOR FUN ONLY)
Disclaimer: There is nothing serious or newsworthy about this thread. It contains ZERO information relevant to anything. If you prefer serious discussions on Michigan football, this is definitely not the thread for you. This post simply represents an attempt on my part to make the last couple hours go by a little faster at work. Should you choose to continue, you have been warned.
Zone Left posted what I thought was a fun exercise on picking an ideal Michigan team with a list of five categories and a salary cap preventing you from picking the best of everything. That thread is here: http://mgoblog.com/mgoboard/15-ideal-michigan-team
Blatantly ripping off this concept, I ask you: Exactly what would you be willing to sacrifice if the end result was a GUARANTEED 2014 Michigan Football National Championship. You have $15 dollars to select one item from each category - you may spend less, but you may not spend more. Have at it.
Loss of Body Part:
- $1 - Both arms
- $2 - Both legs
- $3 - Dominant arm
- $4 - Male organ
- $5 - Pinky Finger
Affliction:
- $1 - Blindness
- $2 - Eternal Poverty
- $3 - Impotence
- $4 - Eczema
- $5 - Male pattern baldness
Body Art:
- $1 - Full face tattoo with image of Boubacar Sissoko
- $2 - Belly button piercing with Block M charm
- $3 - Full sleeve tattoo with faces of 2008 Michigan Offensive Starters (Threet and Sheridan)
- $4 - Armband tattoo saying "Those who Stay....."
- $5 - Block M earring
Long term future of Michigan football program:
- $1 - College Football ceases to exist immediately
- $2 - No more Michigan B1G titles in your lifetime
- $3 - No more Michigan National Championships in your lifetime
- $4 - Michigan will have a losing record against MSU from 2014-2024
- $5 - Michigan will endure one season where it loses to Purdue, Minnesota, and Illinois.
Single-occurance embarassment
- $1 - Food you prepared makes 14 football starters violently ill the day of the App State rematch, resulting in a Michigan loss.
- $2 - Caught pooping in cooler during a Michigan tailgate.
- $3 - After an evening at Skeeps, you cannot perform when you bring Kate Upton home with you
- $4 - Outjumped by Louis Nix on television
- $5 - Short on dollars, you take job as Arby's mascot for an event in Michigan Stadium
My arms are gone.
I am also blind.
I don't give a shit about the Cissoko tat because I can't see it, and have no freaking arms.
Again, can't see, no arms... I have bigger problems than no college football in life.
Really, what did they expect me to prepare? I'm blind, and have no arms. They ate that? That's on them.
Well done!
Plus, now you have $10 for beer!
I came back to say "and hey, $10!" but couldn't edit. I gotta be quicker on the draw (again, no arms).
Too bad he has to use a straw.
But you would emotionally harm them to the point where THEY were the ones that started killing others? You ARE cold!
...impotence and not performing with Kate Upton ought to be free if you've already lost your Johnson.
$3- Dominant Arm
$4- Eczema
$2- Belly button charm
$4- MSU losing record
$2- Shitting in the cooler
I've got another arm, I can deal with eczema and 4-6 vs MSU, no one would see the belly button charm, and I think caught pooping in a cooler is pretty mild.
You have very forgiving friends.
- $5 - Pinky Finger
- $4 - Eczema
- $2 - Belly button piercing with Block M charm
- $3 - No more Michigan National Championships in your lifetime
- $1 - Food you prepared makes 14 football starters violently ill the day of the App State rematch, resulting in a Michigan loss
That was harder than I anticipated. I DO NOT want to do huge damage to my body or have an affliction that doesn't allow me to enjoy life.
The belly button piercing probably should cost more, because it can easily be covered and certainly doesn't compare to losing both legs.
As for the App State loss....if it's possible to lose that game and STILL win the Championship, I will happily take it.
I think the pollsters took into account the unusual circumstances behind the App State loss....that's the only thing I can think of that would allow a team with that bad of a loss into the NC game.
Were you alive in '97? If so, consider that your reward.
$5 - Pinky. Not giving up any limbs for this.
$3 - Impotence. I can deal with that, at least it's not a physical or financial deformity.
$4 - Armband. I'm not really into tats but that actually sounds kinda badass.
$1 - College football ceases to exist. I'll miss the sport dearly, but Michigan gets to be the college football champion until the end of time! And just think of all the free time I'll have!
$2 - Shitting in the cooler. Legendary.
In this thread, I learned that I don't care about Michigan football quiiiiiiite as much as I thought I did. I think I'll skip the guaranteed 2014 championship and let the chips fall where they may.