12 DAYS OF HARBAUGH
http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2015/12/23/10644796/jim-harbaugh-has-gifts-for-you
This is pretty damn good. I lol'd:
SARAH: I will divorce you if you get any more birds, Jim
JIM: look I bought all of the birds at once, my bird guy sells in bulk
SARAH: why do you have a bird guy
JIM [throws Game Boy against wall, storms out]: BECAUSE BO HAD A BIRD GUY
December 23rd, 2015 at 2:40 PM ^
I can't be the only person hoping the actual Sarah Harbaugh will write a book about Jim. The whole thing could be themed around responses she's gotten to "how was your day". Most people can't answer "pushups with a walrus" or "signed a book for Elena Kagan" so I'm assuming this would be a best seller and also win a Pulitzer Prize.
Someone get Bacon on this ASAP.
December 23rd, 2015 at 3:04 PM ^
One of the more amusing and/or creepy anecdotes is how Jim Harbaugh saw Sarah walking to her car, went up to her and repeatedly pestered her for a date until she gave in. It shows how he truly is one of us, because if we're being brutally honest that's probably the only reason most of us have girlfriends/wives.
December 23rd, 2015 at 4:02 PM ^
He said about her "She looked like a winner".
Of course he did.
December 23rd, 2015 at 3:26 PM ^
December 23rd, 2015 at 2:43 PM ^
This was really well done. The ending was a bit flat, but I thought that the first 7-8 days were great.
December 23rd, 2015 at 2:51 PM ^
Back in the days when longer jokes/gags spread via xerox, there was a very similar 12 Days of Christmas gag correspondence you'd see every year or so. It carried the 12 Days to its logical conclusion (with the pipers ... uhm "piping" the maids a' milking, etc.). Obviously no Harbaugh angle, but this theme is really familiar. That one consisted of a series of 12 thank you notes, each one getting increasingly irritated with the gift giver.
Another gag you'd see by xerox included The Deteriorata of Happiness which you'd see around graduation time. That was really well done (a bastardized Desiderata of Happiness), and is probably floating around the internet somewhere. I can't remember others right now, but I bet the older set on the board can.
December 23rd, 2015 at 2:51 PM ^
[Through a mouthful of iron slag]: OPEN IT
Was a good visual after him doing pullups and then also
YEAH BUT I GAVE THESE GUYS PREWORKOUT DRINK AND TINY KNIVES, THEY'RE PRETTY PISSED
December 23rd, 2015 at 2:53 PM ^
got an actual lol from me. 11 and 12 were also good.
As always, my dumb ass delved into the comments section. I regret everything.
December 23rd, 2015 at 3:03 PM ^
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December 23rd, 2015 at 10:01 PM ^
WWHHAAAT'SS YOUR DEEAAALLLL! (five golden rings)
December 23rd, 2015 at 5:55 PM ^
EDSBS commentors are pretty good normally but they do have it out for Michigan. It really drives home the point that everyone still resents Michigan even if we haven't been relevant for years.
I can take jokes about not winning championships since everybody else is a target for jokes over there. But the guys shitting on Jabrill were really getting under my skin.
December 23rd, 2015 at 10:03 PM ^
To be fair, edsbs commenters seem to have it out for whichever team/player/coach is featured in an article. Fairly well-informed commenting group for the most part. Most take it as well as they give it.
/not an edsbs commenter
December 23rd, 2015 at 2:57 PM ^
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December 23rd, 2015 at 6:22 PM ^
December 23rd, 2015 at 3:02 PM ^
December 23rd, 2015 at 3:32 PM ^
"You take thirty of them and you can rule a shopping center parking lot!"
December 23rd, 2015 at 3:45 PM ^
Just kidding, if I was a fly on the wall in JH's house he'd have already killed me with an enthusiasm unknown to mankind.
December 23rd, 2015 at 10:05 PM ^
Jim sits in the living room on his wooden bench pilfered from Yost before the renovations alert against the chance that anyone comes downstairs to rifle through presents in the middle of the night. Challenges the fat guy who drops in through the chimney to an arm wrestling match.
December 23rd, 2015 at 4:02 PM ^
Bravo to whoever wrote this
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December 23rd, 2015 at 10:06 PM ^
Funny. The best part is that you can tell how much fun he is having doing that bit.
December 23rd, 2015 at 4:22 PM ^
Editor's note: The geese held Florida to 112 offensive yards in a 17-10 victory.
You don't even need to be the sapient species on the planet - Jim Harbaugh will maximize your potential and make learning his system seem like nothing at all. Curious to see now if any geese are retained if someone should wander off from the position coach ranks.
December 23rd, 2015 at 10:07 PM ^
Easily the best line in a piece with many. The smash the phone something about Bo was another top line.
December 23rd, 2015 at 4:24 PM ^
December 23rd, 2015 at 4:28 PM ^
December 23rd, 2015 at 4:46 PM ^
December 23rd, 2015 at 4:27 PM ^
December 23rd, 2015 at 5:52 PM ^
Because Bo had a Bird Guy!
Awesome
December 23rd, 2015 at 10:08 PM ^
Marinate that for 30 minutes before cooking and it will soften up.