also duty-free guys falling over and grabbing their shins
A Totally Real Interview With ESPN Personality Jay Mariotti That I Would Like To Emphasize Is Really Real And Not Fictional In Any Way Whatsoever
MGoBlog has been fortunate enough to snag the finest talent at ESPN for a no-holds-barred interview about life at the WWL. I cannot stress this enough: this interview is totally real. This guy actually said all these things and I can totally prove it, except not right now.
Remember: this is not fictional in any way. At all.
Hi. Great to have you here. As you no doubt know, Jason Whitlock's controversial interview with The Big Lead led to his summary termination as an ESPN writer/talky-person/designated Jeff George proponent. Do you think his firing was warranted?
Jay Mariotti: Did he call someone a fag? That's intolerable.
Uh... no. Didn't you read the interview in question?
Jay Mariotti: Who was it written by?
It's an interview. It's not "written" by anyone per se. But it involves J--
JM: --ay Mariotti? That guy can write.
JM: Well, then I obviously haven't read it.
Uh... anyway. In it he levels some pretty harsh charges of "bojangling" -- whatever that is -- at Scoop Jackson and calls Mike Lupica an "insecure, mean-spirited busybody"--
JM: Dude, that's nothing. Ozzie Guillen called me a fag.
--and do you think ESPN was correct to terminate their relationship with Whitlock?
JM: Who? Did he call me a fag? That's probably why get got fired. Mess with the Mariotti, get the horns.
Do you have any opinions of Lupica?
JM: That guy's a fag. I hear that the only way he can get an erection is by slitting the throat of a baby goat.
Also, ESPN upper management is running an elaborate sex-slavery operation that has robbed Lithuania of 50% of its preteen girls. They also think Carrot Top is funny.
This isn't going to affect my relationship with the network, is it?
No way, man! You're Jay Mariotti!
JM: You're damn straight I am.
Video this week is thanks to Chris of Dangerous Logic.
|Wisconsin's RG doubles Branch momentarily with the RT, then peels off to block a charging Burgess at the last moment, opening a hole up the middle. Very nice play.Hill pops through the LOS for a nice gain. If I can blame someone it's Mundy(-1), who's too far inside and is washed out. YAM: 3. But he's done pretty well this year.|
|Crable(-1) is not the right guy to be taking on fullback blocks and it shows here, as he is shoved to the ground by Rentmeester with ease. Dave Harris(-1) gives up â€“ yes â€“ outside contain, opening up much room for Hill.|
|M37||1||10||Standard 4-3||Pass||5 (Pen)||PA out|
|Taylor(-1) offsides at the snap. Wisconsin goes with play action; Branch(+1) pushes his blocker back over a fallen UW OL and hammers Stocco as he throws, forcing an incompletion. (PR)|
|Pulling guard is supposed to block Woodley(+2), but Lamarr plows him backwards. This takes away Hill's lane and removes two blockers. Hill tries to bounce it out; Trent(+1) has also defeated his man and wraps him up for a major loss.|
|Same play that killed us when Owen Daniels ran it last year. Effective because when Woodley reads screen he goes and finds the RB, not the TE. Will Johnson does make it back to the TE but can't make the tackle. No minus, but a missed opportunity for a plus. Would like to see a linebacker somewhere around here. Refs miss a facemask on Johnson. (CA, coverage -1)|
|M29||3||2||Standard 4-3||Pass||29||Busted dumpoff TD|
|Could be on Burgess but Harris was the player closest to Hill when he made his cut, so he gets the -2. (CA, Coverage -2)|
|Drive Notes: Touchdown, 0-7, 9 min 1st Q. Creepy drive to start with... D is AWESOME! What? Er.|
|O18||1||10||Standard 4-3||Penalty||-5||False start|
|Point of attack is jammed up, so Hill is forced to cut back. Unfortunately, there are acres of space as Tim Jamsion(-2) has totally vacated the backside.|
|Jamison(+1) is run at again, this time intentionally. He holds his ground against a pulling guard nicely, allowing Burgess(+1) to close down the outside and track Hill down when he cuts up looking for what he can get.|
|O25||3||3||Standard 4-3||Pass||6||Short cross|
|Burgess's blitz chopped down and Woodley just loses his balance before getting to Stocco, allowing him to complete the cross for the first down. (CA, coverage -1)|
|Zone blitz where we drop off the weakside DE (Jamison) into coverage: they run right at the vacated weakside DE. Should be a big gain â€“ our rock, their paper â€“ but excellent work on the inside by the DTs (Johnson and Taylor, both +1) to the left forces a bounceout: Harris and Burgess(+1 each) kill it in the backfield.|
|Crable lined up over a slot receiver as UW goes three-wide. Surprisingly, Michigan is in man. Unsurprisingly, Crable's not much good against a WR, who gets a yard or two of separation and a good gain. (CA, Coverage -1)|
|Another zone blitz â€“ Van Alstyne drops into coverage â€“ that sends Burgess and Harrison to one side of the formation. RB picks up Harrison, leaving Burgess(+1) unblocked and forcing a ball from Stocco that's ruled intentional grounding. (PR)|
|Drive Notes: Punt, 0-7, 3 min 1st Q. Couple times on their last series of downs that drive we find ourselves out-schemed. Once we turn it into a three yard loss, but the other one sets up a 3rd and 3. English gets his stop with a well-executed blitz.|
|Branch(+2) crushes his man three yards in to the backfield, disengages, and tackles. Terrance Taylor(+1) also got good push.|
|Stocco bounces it. Harris(+1) was right there if the pass was accurate. (IN, Coverage +1)|
|Branch(+1) spins off his man and comes free, forcing Stocco to get rid of the ball way early. The pass ends up a two-yard dumpoff that's almost intercepted by Burgess(+1), who would have waltzed in if he makes the catch. (BR, coverage +1)|
|Drive Notes: Punt, 0-7, 15 min 2nd Q. Branch almost singlehandedly kills this drive.|
|Crable(+1) takes the fullback on and hold his ground, forcing Hill outside of him. Harris(+1) is unblocked, reads the play and closes quickly, making contact a yard behind the LOS. Hill manages to stumble forward for a small gain.|
|Wisconsin runs play action and runs Stocco out on a bootleg. Branch(+1) is through the line instantly and starts running Stocco down, forcing a throw-away due to good coverage(+1) downfield. (TA)|
|Sideline image of English PISSED for some reason.Woodley(+3) goes right around the tackle and kills the Wisconsin drive. (PR)|
|Drive Notes: Punt, 7-7, 12 min 2nd Q.|
|O12||1||10||Standard 4-3||Run||-1||Off tackle|
|They're in three-wide and decide to run against our base defense. This goes about as well as you might expect. Woodley(+1) drives his man back, disrupting the timing of the play. Harris and Crable clean up.|
|Taylor(+1) gets a good pass rush, forcing Stocco to check down to Hill. He's covered, but Burgess(-1) overruns the play a bit and is forced to try to arm-tackle Hill around the legs. That would probably work against most backs but Hill's a big dude â€“ like Rob Stone's prom dates, apparently, except for the "dude" bit â€“ and breaks the tackle. Sixteen yards later, first down. (CA, coverage +1)|
|Wide open(coverage -1) but thrown a bit behind Hubbard, who drops it. Still has to make that catch. Hall came up to make sure the bobble became an incompletion, but was way too far off of him to make a play if he secured it quickly. (CA)|
|O27||2||10||Standard 4-3||Pass||12 + 15||Stop|
|Simple seven-yard stop finds Trent(-1, coverage -1) way off the receiver. Easy catch and opportunity for YAC because we're playing soft. Jamison(-1) picks up a personal foul for an unnecessary blow to Hubbard's head. WTF is he thinking? (CA)|
|M46||1||10||Standard 4-3||Run||2||Off tackle|
|Good job by Jamison(+1) to fight off a block from the FB and prevent the play from going outside. There's a tiny bit of room inside but not much.|
|M44||2||8||Standard 4-3||Pass||16||Deep cross|
|Rare instance where Stocco's kept totally clean by his OL. Given time and plenty of space he fires a dart in between four Michigan defenders. (DO)|
|M28||1||10||Standard 4-3||Run||5||Off tackle|
|Hill manages to find a tiny crease and burst through the line even though this looks like it's going to go for very little. Jamar Adams with a rare safety tackle.|
|Harris(+1) avoids an attempted block from the tackle, then sticks and drives Hill backwards with a textbook tackle. Spielman starts going POW BOOM OOF.|
|Biggs(+1) leaps into the air, forcing a high, inaccurate throw from Stocco. 50-50 this works if it's complete. (IN)|
|Drive Notes: FG, 10-7, 6 min 2nd Q. Last thing approximating a drive Wisconsin gets until garbage time is a couple instances of soft coverage, a kind of ticky-tack personal foul, and one nice throw from Stocco.|
|O16||1||10||Standard 4-3||Run||1||Off tackle|
|Very nice job by Taylor(+1) and Will Johnson(+1) to kill this right at the LOS.|
|Johnson(+2) drives into the backfield and snuffs this draw out by himself by tossing the guard away like he's a toy.|
|Blitz + picket fence zone around the first down line, which is what I like to see. Blitz is picked up but Terrance Taylor(+1) pancakes the OL and charges in on Stocco, forcing him to take what he can get. (CA)|
|Drive Notes: Punt, 10-10, 2 min 2nd Q. Consistently great play from both DTs on this drive and Alan Branch isn't even in the game! Johnson's been more than adequate in limited snaps this year â€“ see third and one versus ND â€“ and is an excellent option to keep the starters fresh. There's not much of a dropoff when he's in the game and that there is one at all speaks more to Branch's overwhelming awesomeness than anything else.|
|Beckum gets a couple steps on Englemon(-1), who's not in position to deal with this presnap (that isn't his fault) but gets way behind him on the crossing route. (CA)|
|Stocco throws it out of bounds, as Hall(+1, coverage +1) gets a jam and is in tight coverage. (TA)|
|Woodley(+1) spins back inside his blocker, getting pressure that forces a Stocco dumpoff. (CA)|
|Stocco is crushed by Branch(+1) as he throws. Ball was heading OOB anyway. (TA)|
|Drive Notes: Punt, 10-10, EOH.|
|O19||1||10||Standard 4-3||Pass||Inc||RB flat|
|Good coverage(+1) forces an inaccurate dumpoff to Hill that was going to get crushed anyway. Terrance Taylor is trying to run Hill down, BTW. (IN)|
|O19||2||10||Standard 4-3||Run||3||Counter trap|
|Taylor slants inside, getting pushed out of the designated hole on this play. Burgess(+1) takes on a blocker and comes off for the tackle.|
|Great coverage(+2) as Stocco has a ton of time but can find no one. Stocco is eventually flushed and throws it away. (TA)|
|Drive Notes: Punt, 10-10, 13 min 3rd Q.|
|One of their better runs comes one of the few times we bring an eighth guy into the box. There's a big hole between their RT and RG as Crable blitzes upfield. Adams and Burg ess get blocked off, leaving Hall to come up and make the tackle.|
|No room here. Great play by Branch(+2) to drive all the way to the other side of the line and tackle. Jamison(+1) also holds up well.|
|O39||3||4||Standard 4-3||Run||3||Pitch sweep|
|Looks like it should get the first down but comes up just short... possibly a questionable spot. Credit to Hall(+1) for coming up, absorbing the blow, and getting Hill to the ground just short of the marker.|
|Drive Notes: Punt, 10-10, 10 min 3rd Q. On replay the spot is correct. Excellent job by Hall.|
|O20||1||10||Standard 4-3||Run||2||Counter trap|
|Branch(+1) cuts off the outside with penetration; Crable(+1) runs Hill down from behind. Dude is fast.|
|Pass is deflected at the line by Branch(+1) another zone-blitz, with Woodley dropping into coverage. (BA)|
|Blitz. Pass deflected at the line by Biggs(+1). (BA)|
|Drive Notes: Punt, 10-10, 5 min 3rd Q.|
|Morgan Trent(+1) comes up hard on the outside to prevent Hill from reaching the corner; Harris cleans up. There's nowhere to run inside. Ever.|
|Taylor(+1) comes free after a couple moments of being blocked, forcing Stocco to throw off his back foot. The resulting pass is shockingly good considering the situation but Hubbard can't make a tough, diving catch. (CA)|
|Michigan's in Stocco's head now. Branch(+1) spins inside on the snap, drawing the attention of a guard and the center, as Taylor(+1) stunts around him, coming clean. Stocco rolls a bit and throws it away. (TA)|
|Drive Notes: Punt, 17-10, 2 min 3rd Q. The Terrance Taylor/Will Johnson combination this year is better than Gabe Watson was a year ago. There. I said it.|
|This is an outstanding play from Jamar Adams(+2). TE Beckum comes across the formation on this play action fake to the left. Adams, in man, watches Beckun release and sprints across the field to prevent any gain whatsoever.|
|Alan Branch(+3) is a damn beast. Good coverage(+1)|
|Biggs(+1) discards his man and closes on Stocco. Harris(+1) delivers another thumping blow to Hill to finish this drive.|
|Drive Notes: Punt, 17-10, 13 min 4th Q.|
|I'm shocked when our DTs are actually blocked. Hill squeezes up between them but Burgess(+1) makes a nice play to contain the run for only a few yards.|
|O23||2||7||Standard 4-3||Pass||Inc||Deep cross|
|Has just enough time to find a small hole in the zone, but Anderson drops it. (Coverage -1, DO)|
|Jamison(+1) totally unblocked. Uh, okay. Obviously the OL thought Hill was supposed to pick him up.|
|Drive Notes: Punt, 24-10, 10 min 4th Q. Wisconsin gets no second half first downs until the game is over.|
And there relevant football ends. Michigan puts together a field goal drive, then gives the ball back leading by 17 with 5 minutes left. The second string proceeds to give up a big chunk of yards. Michigan brings in the first string and holds UW to a field goal.
So that performance certainly didn't suck.
Uh... no, it didn't. Wisconsin went three-and-out on nine of the thirteen relevant drives they had and scored on but two, one of which was a semi-short field after the first interception of the day. By the time Michigan had effectively ended the game, Wisconsin had around 150 yards in total offense. Some garbage-time passing from Stocco on the second-string defense in prevent mode propped up their final numbers but make no mistake: if inclined to continue, Wisconsin probably could have gone another four quarters without another touchdown.
Here is chart:
|Taylor||7||1||6||Came through with flying colors in first serious test versus running team.|
|Branch||12||12||Jumpin' jehosephat. Officially the best player on the team.|
|Johnson||4||4||A fine player in his own right.|
|B. Graham||-||-||-||Made a brief appearance in the second quarter at DT.|
|Crable||2||1||1||Not much for him to do with the front four getting pressure on their own.|
|Harris||5||3||2||Blamed for the bust on the UW touchdown; otherwise the steadiest and best linebacker Michigan has.|
|C. Graham||-||-||DNP, I think.|
|Burgess||6||1||5||Did well in the run game.|
|Mundy||1||-1||Was fine. Possible run/pass platoon with Englemon?|
|Trent||2||1||1||Seemed fine in run support. Started again despite the stadium announcement. Has essentially won the job, IMO.|
|"Coverage"||9||8||1||Far less busy than against ND.|
Obviously, we are very happy with chart. Chart is a fine representation of the Michigan defense.
For a second straight week I desire to say "everybody." That's just the way it is when you give up 150 meaningful yards. More specifically: the entire defensive line. Aside from a couple plays early Hill had nowhere to run and poor John Stocco spent his day screaming "run away, run away, run away" when the nasty big pointy teeth of Branch or Taylor or Woodley or Jamison or Biggs or Johnson came bearing down on him. This defensive line is ridiculous, especially because it has six players who are all contributing at a high level.
Well, David Harris had a tough first drive, giving up outside contain on a Hill run that netted a first down and (probably) blowing the coverage on the Hill touchdown. But he ended up positive on the day -- like everyone who was involved in more than a couple plays -- after thumping the UW ground game and so is declared redeemed.
Anyone emerging further?
Jamison continues to get more and more playing time as his ankle heals. There was one messed up play on the backside but that was more mental error than anything. When he knew what to do in the run game he held up well enough. He's also fast.
Taylor and Johnson were both great. They're active, driving players who would be an excellent starting tandem even in the absence of Alan Branch (BTW: Alan, you are getting verrrry sleepy. You love Michigan and would never consider early entry into the NFL draft). Morgan Trent showed well in run support one week after playing an excellent game versus ND's passing game.
The aforementioned players are all playing in spots Michigan fans were fretting over at season's start. Add in the emergence of Biggs as an above-average player and the remarkable transformations of Crable and Burgess and there isn't a spot on this defense that can be considered a major hole anymore.
Shall we invoke that particular year again and tempt the gods of hubris further?
Uh, no. This defense is terrible, I miss Todd Howard, Zach Kaufman, and Pat Massey and will be surprised if we make a bowl game this year.
What does it mean for Minnesota?
The Gophers may prove more troublesome than Wisconsin did, but they're down to a converted linebacker and Amir Pinnix at RB and have lost that Setterstrom-Eslinger combination that powered their run game for so long. They did rack up 421 yard against Purdue, but that D has been giving up nearly 30 points to I-AA teams. They were largely shut down against Cal -- one of their scores was a kick return -- and if I had to pick between Michigan and Cal's defenses, I would definitely pick Michigan's.
The trouble comes in the form of Ernie Wheelwright, Logan Payne, and Brian Cupito. We haven't faced a receiver with the size and speed of Wheelwright, who is the frequent target of Cupito bombs. We lived on the edge against ND, occasionally letting Rhema McKnight get open downfield. Fortunately for us, Quinn was either getting hit or panicking about getting hit to hit him, except once when McKnight dropped it. I have the Minnesota-Purdue game on DVR and will relay further impressions later in the week.
So, before we get to the ballot... who is number one? In my mind there are five candidates:
- Auburn: Marquee win over LSU, but a close game marred with some small officiating controversy and at home. No other competent teams on the schedule, though secondary win over WSU is good since it's 40-14.
- Ohio State: handled Texas @ Texas, winning 24-7, though the game was closer than that implies. Big time marquee win. Struggled badly against a Penn State team that was obliterated by ND; Irish were in turn obliterated by Michigan. Transitive property?
- Michigan: BEAT DOWN Notre Dame by 26 points. Have ground out nearly identical victories in all other games, crushing opponents to the tune of 150-ish yards before garbage time and winning by about three scores. Secondary win over Wisconsin probably the best of the contenders.
- Southern Cal: Lamest big win of all candidates over a Nebraska team seemingly more focused on covering the spread than winning, deploying a mind-numbingly stupid three-TE rush attack most of the night. Obliterated an Arkansas team that's probably headed for 5-7 and struggled badly against crappy Arizona in other games.
- Florida: Marquee win @ Tennessee but in a squeaker. No other actual opponents on record. Had a goofy, narrow game against UK that was more fluky than anything.
Am I being a shameless homer if I contend that Michigan's resume is the best, albeit by a very narrow margin? When six minutes were left in Michigan's most recent game they were was up 17 and sending in the second team defense. Ohio State, on the other hand, was up eight and facing a potential -- if highly improbable -- game tying drive before Morelli gift-wrapped two Buckeye touchdowns. Given that Penn State has looked like crap this year, I think that's advantage Michigan. And while Texas is probably much better than ND, Michigan's win was significantly more emphatic. Meanwhile, Southern Cal has played two atrocious offenses and a Nebraska team that voluntarily made their offense atrocious. The two SEC teams earned their marquee wins by the skin of their teeth and have no one comparable to Wisconsin in their pile o' skulls.
So am I ranking Michigan #1? Hell no! I've seen what happens to people who tempt the wrath of the C/K Award -- Spartan fans everywhere can thank tES for their nationally-televised sack-kicking -- and wish to avoid that fate. But I think some people should and that the rapidly solidifying conventional wisdom that Ohio State is obviously the best team in the country is wrong. I urge you, poll voters, to consider the teams en toto and to refrain from blindly voting last week's #1 at the same spot despite a bad game versus a meh team. Down that path boringosity lies.
And now is the time on Sprockets when we vote.
- My "no looky" policy dropped Nebraska out after a 56-0 win over Troy. I'm fine with that since they showed no life in their one game against real competition.
- Wisconsin moves in after a loss. In short: I think their defense is pretty good and it's more palatable than FSU or some mid-major or something. Also their band kicks ass.
- WVU drops. I watched most of that game versus the ECU Pirates.
- Iowa drops. I didn't see the Illinois game but given their interminable awfulness Iowa's sluggish 24-7 victory is not impressive. I think I've dropped Iowa two or three spots every week so far.
- Clemson and Cal rocket up. I think Clemson deserves it, as their one loss was XP-induced and they've dropped the hammer on everyone else. Cal... well... they're obviously pretty good now that Longshore is not a disaster.
- MSU stays. Again: who else is a good option? They h
ave a good win over Pitt and a close, hilarious loss to ND. That offense is really good, and they can't implode like that more than a couple times a year. Right?
As always, I await stern corrections.
Michigan State - Pittsburgh
Still a known quantity. The Michigan State offense remains the vastly intimidating thing it was last year, though I think Pitt's defensive line is amongst the least likely in the country to pose a test for a mostly-new offensive line. Still: Michigan State gashed Pitt impressively all game and Stanton was Stanton. They'll be hard to stop for anyone if the offensive line isn't a mirage.
This year Michigan State seems to be going for broke with Stanton and having him run significantly more. The quantity of Stanton options, draws, and scrambles in the Pitt game was much closer to his crazylegs sophomore year than his fairly restrained junior one. Maybe they have more confidence in the backup; maybe they just want to get the maximum use from Stanton before he graduates.
One evident weakness: wide receiver. Jerramy Scott is kind of bad. Trannon's huge but lumbering, and no one else stands out as a major threat. Kerry Reed seems pretty good, though. Caulcrick and Ringer are still Caulcrick and Ringer.
I think they might have a pulse on defense, too. Nehemiah Warrick had a couple of nice sticks in run support and DT Clifton Ryan is fully healthy for the first time in a while and playing at a more natural position for his ginorbous body.
...but there are still major issues. The DL made very few plays in the run game and didn't get a whole lot of pressure on Palko. State's corners often panicked in deep coverage and committed a series of pass interference penalties that they dodged because Palko threw the ball well out of bounds. They also spent the entire game lined up 8-10 yards deep.
Ohio State - Penn State
Yick. Not a particularly well-played game. Ohio State is clearly the better team but given Penn State's deficient offensive line, meh running back, and goofy playcalling the Buckeyes have to be concerned about the rushing yards they gave up to an awful offensive team.
And there's the definitive proof of that: Tony Hunt's thirty-some yard run in the third quarter would have been a touchdown if a glorified fullback didn't have the ball. I know Mike Hart isn't exactly Flash Gordon but even he has the decency to get 50 or 60 yards downfield before being caught from behind. PSU ended up running the ball into the line a lot, then false-starting on fourth and goal inches away from the line.
You have failed to maintain your spot on my prestigious ballot, please quit football. Troy Smith was hearteningly mediocre all day, save for that one ridiculous "I'm Troy Smith" play that made me shiver. Most of his passes were inaccurate. He was behind his receivers all day and could have been picked a couple more times if ricochets had bounced wrong. His first interception to Justin King was a Ginn touchdown if thrown in the right spot, but it was way long and well wide of his post route.
So, yeah, Calvin Johnson heads to the top of the Maxwell Pundit ballot.
It looks like that particular debate is settled. Who said this about Anthony Morelli at the start of the year?
Taken together, Facts About Anthony Morelli bode unwell for Penn State's chances for a repeat. He's a raw recruit with no experience coached by the most widely reviled son this side of Jeff Bowden being handed the starting job in an offense that has to change drastically to accommodate his talents.
Er... good luck with that.
Who got ripped up and down by Penn State fans for saying that? This guy. Who is now patiently awaiting a flood of Nittany contrition sure to never come? This guy. Who is way, way better than Anthony Morelli? Chad Henne. And probably this guy, as even I wouldn't flip a little floater into double coverage when attempting to drive for a tying score. Malcolm Jenkins' interception that sealed the game was a ludicrously bad throw that proves claiming Anthony Morelli has a ten-cent head is doing grievous injustice to dimes. Dimes are useful. You can put them in parking meters and get gumballs and make phone calls with them. Meanwhile, Anthony Morelli led his team to three meaningful points against Notre Dame, a team that's given up 47 and 37 the last two weeks, and negative eight against Ohio State and their nine new starters.
Is it just me, or... has James Laurinatis built his reputation largely because other people deflect balls right to him?
Penn State: irritating. Morelli does have his moments of laser-armed bravado and their receivers have the ability to separate and make the proverbial plays, which makes them more of a threat than Wisconsin was to get a few big gainers. Their defense is not terrible, though they've given up on their defensive ends and started using linebacker Tim Shaw as a standup DE, which is about as effective as you think it sounds, and could bend-but-not-break against us and create a close game. Michigan shouldn't lose to PSU but there's a lot of variance in their offense that could create an unpleasant minor point explosion.
9/23/2006 - Michigan 27-13 Wisconsin - 4-0 (1-0)
We lost this game last year. Almost this exact same game. Wisconsin struggled to move the ball in the air. We had a couple of unfortunate, potentially game-changing turnovers. We turned the ball over on a fourth and short. The score uncomfortably close at halftime.
Obviously, things went a little better this time. The difference: this game was over the instant Mario Manningham cruised under another deadly accurate 30-yard bomb from Chad Henne. It was 17-10 midway through the third quarter, and that game had ended. That assertion is patently ridiculous when made about a team that never met a fourth-quarter lead it couldn't blow, but it is also true. That game was over. Wisconsin would not move the ball anywhere near Michigan's endzone until it was far too late, and that's what I expected. Where did that come from? Where did the paranoid fear that dominated my psyche at halftime of the ND game when we led by twenty go? Somewhere. I don't know.
By the time Michigan officially put the game beyond reach with a short Rivas field goal, Wisconsin had under 150 yards in total offense, 12 of them on the ground. They had gone backwards in the second half. Irritating garbage-time passing against the second string propped up Wisconsin's final numbers and partially obscured the ridiculous dominance of Woodley, Branch, Crable, et al., but make no mistake: this was nearly as beat-down-errific as the Notre Dame game, except in this game Michigan won going away with a -2 in the turnover margin column* instead of a +4. Replay this game 100 times and the average margin of victory for Michigan is closer to 24 than 14.
And thus severe cognitive dissonance in the Michigan fanbase. Stung by the Year of Infinite Pain and previous Years of Unnecessary But Thankfully Finite Pain, there is a hestiancy to predict anything better than 10-2, to envision horrible losses to teams with no business on the same field as Michigan (I'm looking at you, Penn State), to prepare for the inevitable hammer blow to the chest courtesy a wacky punt formation or foolish confidence in a slim lead or the plain bloody-mindedness of the universe. We hesitate. We don't want to go through that again.
And yet... this team is not last year's team. The Henne-Manningham connection gives this offense a big play element it lacked last year and allows Henne to show off the laser-guided deep ball that won Braylon Edwards the Belitnikoff. Mike Hart is, like, playing. The defense has been nearly impregnable when it matters, giving up the odd touchdown here and there when someone blows an assignment but otherwise mercilessly crushing any and all resistance.
The terrifying reality is this is not a 9-3 team. It's not a 10-2 team. And while the harsh axioms of probability conspire against the possibility of an undefeated team, that still-dim chance grows stronger with every sack, every graceful Manningham touchdown, and every four yards Mike Hart creates out of nothing.
In 1997 we played Notre Dame, and I watched Michigan turn the ball over around midfield three times. We were trying to follow the horrible script Michigan fans know and loathe so well: late lead, late turnover, late loss. We tried it three times, but one stop became two became three and we wandered off the field, victors. Something changed in there. Faith spontaneously generated itself like maggots in meat. Self-protective cynicsm departed.
At some point on Saturday -- probably when Stocco was getting crushed or Hill was getting crushed or Manningham was gliding under touchdowns or Steve Breaston was dancing through Wisconsin coverage like he was a part of the Michael Jackson halftime show -- I gave up. You win, winged helmets. Lucy, I am ready to kick the football.
*(Strange final interception with game decided is omitted; turnover on downs included.)
I bet this one is less contentious, largely because there isn't a behemoth blog like BGS for UW fans -- no offense to the fine Badger blogs out there, but BGS gets traffic -- and thus only a small likelihood of PO-ed spillover.
I also bet this game is closer.
Wait... it's Friday? We have a game tomorrow? God, I hope the players got over this BEAT DOWN thing quicker than I did.
Run Offense vs. Wisconsin
Michigan had its hands full last year despite Wisconsin starting freshmen along the DL and having no one of real note on the defense other than DT Nick Hayden. Then Wisconsin killed Auburn's grinding, Kenny-Irons-led attack. And then most of those guys returned. Now? Well, Justin Ostrowski's out but Jason Chapman played most of last year and has been effective if not thrilling. Outside linebacker Jonathan Casillas has 3.5 TFL already and looks like an active playmaker.
Do not expect easy going. It'll be a hard slog for the Michigan run offense. If Wisconsin stacks the box like Notre Dame did, they will stop the run about as well (remember that Hart had a lot of yards but Michigan averaged but 2.9 YPC).
A couple points in Michigan's favor:
- There's no way a reasonable opponent can stack the line as much as ND did. Michigan got up by so much so early that it was correct in a game theory sense for Notre Dame to sell out on the run and for Michigan to run into it most of the time. When the score is close Wisconsin will have to hang back more because of that whole Manningham thing.
- Wisconsin defensive ends seem to come in pass-rushing or run-stuffing varieties. There's no Abiamiri equivalent.
- With Michigan in three-wide packages for much of the game Wisconsin will have to go to a dodgy nickel corner or tip their coverages.
Still: this looks like a game where Hart's line reads 28-96-1 TD. It won't be easy.
Key Matchup: Kraus & Bihl versus Hayden. Derek Landri caused a lot of problems versus Notre Dame with interior penetration, and Hayden is a better player.
Pass Offense vs. Wisconsin
Hey, I guess we do have one of these after all. It's Mario Manningham, and sometimes friends. Adrian Arrington is showing potential -- he had a great sideline catch against ND -- and Steve Breaston is still a YAC threat whenever he catches the ball, which is not as often as Michigan fans would like. Michigan's dirty little secret this year: Chad Henne has been really accurate. He hasn't thrown all that much and still has the occasional misread, but when he lets it go it's been on target much more often. A spate of dropped balls have kept his completion percentage low, but if you go beyond the numbers the difference is clear. 2005 Henne overthrows Manningham deep. 2006 Henne? Not so much.
Meanwhile, Wisconsin linebackers picked up four sacks and another half-dozen hurries against San Diego State. Bret Bielema's reputation for being a blitz donkey certainly seems justified and no doubt Michigan will see more of the same, as their defensive linemen have not proven they can get to the quarterback with regularity. Jamal Cooper might provide that edge-rush but may still be hampered by a shoulder injury. In the secondary, Wisconsin fans are excited about corner Jack Ikegwuonu, but he hasn't faced much competition yet. Behind him is little. Michigan should be able to get receivers open. Wisconsin hopes that when they do Henne is busy running for his life.
Key Matchup: Mike Hart versus Wisconsin blitzers. Michigan's first two drives versus ND were ended when Michigan blew blitz pickups. Later in the game, Michigan picked those blitzes up and the results: touchdown Manningham, touchdown Manningham, touchdown Manningham.
Run Defense Vs Wisconsin
Last year, Brian Calhoun shredded Michigan by bouncing almost every run outside into the open swaths of grass vacated by our incompetent outside linebacking. This year, Shawn Crable is playing like the Terminator, Prescott Burgess is catching touchdowns from Brady Quinn, and 240 pound Wisconsin tailback PJ Hill isn't likely to bounce anything anywhere. So last year does not seem particularly relevant.
What will be relevant: Michigan's first severe test against a team bound and determined to plow the ball ahead. For the first time this year DTs Terrance Taylor, Will Johnson, and Alan Branch will come under heavy fire. We only have scant evidence from the year to date that they'll hold up, as Michigan faced few conventional rushing plays in the first three games, but the early returns are good. Taylor and Johnson have already made more plays in the run game than Pat Massey did all last year; Branch has been outstanding against both the run and the pass. With Dave Harris proving himself an all-conference-level middle linebacker, yards up the middle will be hard to come by for Wisconsin. (Probably. There is that "not enough data" problem.)
Hill, like Ron Dayne, has merrily plowed over a series of frightened chipmunks masquerading as opponents coming into the Michigan game. He projects to meet the same fate as Dayne when he wanders into Michigan Stadium.
Key Matchup: DE Lamarr Woodley versus OT Joe Thomas. The battle of the titans will be most relevant in the ground game. Wisconsin will no doubt try to involve the best player on their team in as many plays as possible; if Woodley does not disrupt plays off left tackle Shawn Crable will end up on the wrong end of a lot of collisions with Hill.
Pass Defense vs. Wisconsin
Both Badger bloggers declared UW's fate in this department to be grisly, so who am I to disagree?
Stocco has been mediocre at best this year. Stripped of playmakers in the passing game, Wisconsin has struggled. Yes, you could have said the same thing about Michigan just one week ago, but remember how shocked everyone was? That shock will be tripled if Paul Hubbard gets loose for 140 yards and three touchdowns an an FBD.
Wisconsin's biggest loss in this department isn't Jonathan Orr or Brandon Williams, it's Calhoun. He (and Owen Daniels) also shredded Michigan aerially by taking a series of screens and dumpoffs for critical first downs. Both are gone, and Calhoun has been replaced by a lumbering 240 pound freshman. Hill does have six receptions this season but there's no way anyone his size can possibly live up to what Calhoun does: he just doesn't have the change of direction to make much after the catch. With Michigan's defensive line making deep balls chancy, expect the secondary to play aggressively and lock down UW recievers to a scanty few yards after the catch.
Key Matchup: Shawn Crable versus blitz pickup. Wisconsin's problems against Western Illinois have been documented in VEQ. If they have the same issues against Michigan, John Stocco is going to look like Brady Quinn.
I would like to point out that Garrett Rivas is 6/7 with one blocked field goal. And, yes, a blocked extra point, but it was good to get it out of the way against Notre Dame instead of a team that was a threat to come within 20 points of us. Wisconsin's Taylor Mehlhaff is similarly good but not great. He's 2/3 last year and was 14/20 a year ago.
Michigan figures to have an edge in the return game, as Steve Breaston is a proven threat. No one on Wisconsin has that sort of resume.
Key Matchup: Michigan versus hideous screwups. Oregon, Iowa, 2003.
Double-digit spreads don't get kittens. It's a rule.
Also: rain projected this weekend. Doesn't matter nearly as much on Field Turf but could lead to wackiness.
- PJ Hill gashes us up the middle.
- The run game continues to struggle.
- The run-run-throw-punt-ish playc
alling from Notre Dame reappears in a closer game.
Cackle with knowing glee if...
- Henne is protected.
- Wisconsin seems stuck in third and long.
- Zoltan starts realizing his space potential.
Fear/Paranoia Level: 4 out of 10. (Baseline 5; +1 for But This Is A Respected Opponent, Right?; +1 for We Always Seem To Blow It; -1 for $#*!ing BEAT DOWN; -2 for You Want To Run? At The #1 Rush D?).
Desperate need to win level: 8 out of 10. (Baseline 5; +1 for Let's Not Blow It, Kids; +1 for We Lost To Them Last Year; +1 for Seriously: Don't Blow It.)
Loss will cause me to... no way, man. Don't even. That would be totally lame.
Win will cause me to... forcibly restrain myself until the MSU game before seriously thinking national championship thoughts.
The strictures and conventions of sportswriting compel me to predict: Well... I looked at the 14-point spread at the beginning of the week and was like O RLY? But as I think more and more about the game I think Michigan will beat that spread. My main assumption: Hill finds it impossible to run because Michigan is up in his face all day and he can't ever get the head of steam that rumbling backs Keith Jackson would assuredly refer to as a "hoss" need to be effective. What I've seen out of Terrance Taylor so far this year has been impressive. Will Johnson had one of the most critical plays of the ND game when he was the main impetus for a 3rd and 1 stoning in the second quarter that helped the floodgates stay open. And those guys are the two question marks on the line.
Stocco's been hideous to date and I can't see him converting enough third downs against our DL to drive Wisconsin down the field, especially because he can't rely on his skill position players to make yards Wisconsin doesn't deserve. This might seriously piss off the fine Wisconsin fans who stumble across this blog, but I'd be surprised if UW scored a touchdown without a short field provided by a turnover or a long return.
Offensively, it will be a chore. Bielema, like English, has a reputation for aggressiveness and has historically had great defenses. (Last year's debacle stands out as the exception in a dozen-year career.) If they stack the line, Michigan will travel only in fits and starts. Hurling it deep to Manningham is a good idea but a high variance one that is highly susceptible to an off day.
Still, Michigan will score in the twenties. Hart is Hart and Wisconsin's corners are still young and dodgy.
Finally, three opportunities for me to look stupid Sunday:
- PJ Hill averages 2.5 YPC.
- Breaston scores.
- 24-6, Michigan.
Sorry: late. Firefox crash while typing = sad panda.
Further adventures in Badger: Apparently mopeds are a plague on UW's campus. Who knew? They're also a plague on the football team: second-string linebacker Elijah Hodge (Abdul's brother) was arrested for stealing one and will miss the Michigan game. Also, Bruce Ciskie has his Michigan O vs Wisconsin D preview up @ The Fanhouse.
Ok, ok: definitely the last bit of ND stuff. Probably. Josh Houchin, who helped out with the UFR clips in previous weeks, has an eight-minute highlight reel simply titled "Domination." (Warning for my mom: f-bomb dropped in the soundtrack. Don't blame me, I didn't choose the music.)
Meanwhile, Maize 'n' Brew took a PDA to the game and scribbled out a bunch of strangely compelling, vowel-free notes. Favorite sequence (Michigan leads 27-7 at this point):
Hrt 1 yrd lft. Hrt for 10.
Nd fans ftng among selves.
Some more running interspersed, then:
Hnne TD pass lft sd to manham!
Nd fns ht 1 anthr. argin ovr standing.
Meanwhile, Vijay is mad. Real mad. This is something to see. I get mad all the time. There are probably three or four articles a week I read and consciously decide "no, let this one go." So it's not really news when I get mad. I'm easy to piss off. Vijay, on the other hand, appears to be the nicest person in the Western Hemisphere, but even he flips out when ND fans universally start crabbing "The outcome of this game had nothing to do with the officating BUT" as if that one little sentence excuses all the paranoid ravings about...
NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH REFEREE INQUISITION! Our chief weapon is incompetence, incompetence and replay. Our two weapons are replay and incompetence. And ruthless inefficiency. Our THREE weapons are replay and incompetence and ruthless ineffiency. And an almost fanatical devotion to Lloyd Carr. Our FOUR... no. AMONGST our weapons... amongst our weaponry are such elements as replay...
I'll come in again.
Finally, BGS's preseason predictions are not quite as emasculating as my 2005 Purdue for Space Emperor campagin, but they are, um, interesting to review.
It is a Toomer: Amani Toomer profiled in the NYT(reg). He has been around a long time.
Hockey picked up a recruit for... 2009(!).Some detail @ WCH. Already committed to the NTDP for next year, so a player.
Etc.: Rocky Top Talk's Race to the National Championship is a lot more fun for Michigan fans than last year's edition.
We haven't had a good-old media idiot bashing session in a while, probably because Scoop Jackson is covering tennis, but ooooh we've got a good one this time. It's from Sports Talk Radio On Paper's Matt Hayes, who has no redeeming features and should end it now to prevent his family further embarassment.
On with the show:
We were so giddy and giggly at the mere thought of it all. No clear leader, no one team to chase -- pure pandemonium.
And Ohio State had to go and ruin it.
It took the Buckeyes all of three weeks to become the undisputed lead dog in a national title race that had looked deliciously crowded and convoluted. (As for our preseason pick, Notre Dame? Pfffffffft.)
Indeed. Way to make one stupid prediction that gets shot all to hell immediately, learn nothing, and immediately make another BOLD!!! prediction that's equally overblown and stupid. There are dogs smarter than this.
Also: prepare yourself for the lamest attempt at humor since... uh... not very long ago. These are sportswriters we're talking about, after all. But it's still mind-numbing.
We're a quarter of the way into the season, and there's one thing even more unexpected than a male voice on The View: No one is beating Ohio State. At least not in the regular season.
I hope earwigs eat your face.
"They have very few flaws," says Texas safety Michael Griffin.
What an awesome out of context quote that is not followed up on anywhere in the article. Pad that wordcount, pad pad.
Damn Buckeyes. Make that damn Big Ten. As September winds down and October brings key conference games, there is no more disappointing league. Forget about Michigan or anyone else in the Big Ten sideswiping this train. Not only is Ohio State clearly the elite of the league, the Buckeyes have one other key component to a championship run: a coach who knows how to win a big game.
Wait... what? Ok, I'll grant you that Northwestern, Indiana, and Illinois wouldn't come within shouting distance of OSU if they pooled their rosters, but good God, have you SEEN the ACC? The land where talent goes to die?
You don't care, do you? You just create this article in the pea-sized chamber your parents call "the reason we stopped with one child" and you call a "der... der... brain! cookie? brain!", then feebly attempt to justify it with... well, nothing at all.
This is a players game. But when the talent gap is minimal, when there is no real difference in speed and athleticism, you better have a guy in a headset who knows what he's doing.
Wait, why are you talking about Charlie Weis?
One of the most overlooked factors in the game today: When all things are equal -- and sometimes when they're not -- no one is a better big-game coach than Jim Tressel.
I think you and your media psychophant* buddies really meant "Charlie Weis" in that sentence.
*(It's like "sychophant" only creepier and more likely to root through your dumpster, looking for evidence you still love him.)
Pete Carroll looks like a genius with all that talent at Southern California. Mack Brown validated his elite status riding Superman Vince Young. Tressel? He won a national title with Craig Freakin' Krenzel.
...so now you're ascribing OSU's highwire 2002 national championship act entirely to the coaching prowess of Jim Tressel? What about a metric buttload of luck? Did Jim Tressel's eye lasers guide that pass into Jenkins' hands versus Purdue?
Also: is this maroon asserting that OSU is somehow devoid of talented players? That as soon as Buckeyes leave Columbus the NFL scoffs at them and then they go get jobs at Wendy's? LOOK AT ALL THESE ANGRY RHETORICAL QUESTIONS.
The guy can flat-out coach in big games -- in games that matter. In five-plus seasons in Columbus, he's 3-0 in BCS bowl games and 4-1 against bitter rival Michigan. One of those BCS wins (Miami, 2002) was against the most talented college football team in the past two decades.
Dude, that wasn't even the BEST ONE LOSS TEAM EVER, or didn't you watch ESPN's month-long tongue bathing of the 2006 Trojans? You smell like sin.
And now Tressel has superstar quarterback/Heisman Trophy front-runner Troy Smith. He has wideout Ted Ginn, the game's most exciting player. He has Gonzo and Beanie and Antonio Pittman and a "revamped" defense that 100-some other Division I teams would trade theirs for.
Blah blah blah many teams have good an interesting players this does not constitute proof but three weeks ago you would have written: "And now Weis has superstar quarterback/Heisman Trophy front-runner Brady Quinn. He has wideout Jeff Smardjzasdai, he has players and a defense he specifically told to be faster this year, boy howdy."
He also has -- after winning yet another big game two weeks ago at Texas -- an incredibly easy road to the national title game. The Big Ten schedule includes road tests at Iowa (did you watch the Iowa-Syracuse game?)
Did you? No, you didn't, because then you might have noticed that Iowa's backup quarterback threw four interceptions.
and, and . . . that's it. The Buckeyes get Penn State in Columbus on Saturday, don't play occasional thorn Wisconsin and finish up at home against Michigan.
And of course you leave out Drew Stanton and his rumored teammates, who just got done obliterating what looked like a pretty good Pitt team. Last year it took an epic, JLS-flipout-causing special teams meltdown for Ohio State to win that game... at home.
Also: Minnesota! Er... nevermind.
Don't even start, Blue Boy. For the Wolverines to win The Game, Lloyd Carr would have to outcoach Tressel. And that ain't happening.
(Of note: Hayes apparently saw Dienhart's weird, awful article in which he created some sort of avatar represeting the Michigan fanbase and liked it so much that he adopted it. Not only is this stupid and juvenile, it's not even original.)
Well, damn. Let's just cancel the thing until Tressel retires.
Projected Matt Hayes column one week ago: For the Wolverines to #$*!ing BEAT DOWN Notre Dame, Lloyd Carr would have to outcoach Charlie Weis. And that ain't happening.
"He's not a loud, look-at-me kind of coach," says Cincinnati coach Mark Dantonio, the Buckeyes' most recent victim, of Tressel. "What he has done there and what he can do kind of gets lost in that."
Until, that is, he ruins our party.
In conclusion, you are ugly.
Nice teeth, horseface!
1. Its only the third week of the season and we've already seen some highly ranked favorites drop out of national championship contention. Preseason favorite Cal dropped to #21 after a loss and a pair of underwhelming victories. Who's your pick as the next NC contender to take a fall?
Florida. Schedule is a death march: a one-loss Florida team that wins the SEC should be in the MNC game over an undefeated VT or WVU.
2. By that same token there are several schools hanging around without a loss that all of a sudden look like surprise contenders. There are also a few one loss teams with a legit shot at getting back into it. Looking at the rankings who's the team no one's talking about with the best shot at crashing the party?
No one's talking about now? Or at the beginning of the season? I had Louisville ranked above WVU at season's start and while the Mountaneers are getting mountains of hype Louisville has just as much of a shot at dodgy undefeated-ness come season's end.
Other than the Big East duo, the obvious answer is Virginia Tech. The ACC has quickly descended into a mass of garbage and VaTech's annual bear of a defense and special teams touchdown per game could be enough to skate through the regular season undefeated. But we've thought that about VaTech since... well, forever.
3. Every team has their quicksand away game. You know. That place you should win but somehow find ways to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory or at least scare the &*%^ out of you every year. Did you know that over the last 21 years Kentucky wasn't won once in Knoxville? Where is your team's yearly sandtrap?
Ask me last week, and the answer is Notre Dame. Ask me this week: still Notre Dame. I done seen too many improbable things under the watchful eye of Michigan Defensive Touchdown Jesus to let one BEAT DOWN completely erase my fear of that baleful place.
4. Now that you've looked into the darkest place in your football soul, free Escalades aside, turn and look into your crystal ball. Conference play is either just starting or a single game in. Based on what you've seen so far, give the order of finish in your conference, and if you've got a Conference Championship game tell us who the winner will be. Independents must predict the remainder of their schedule. The results your predictions will be held against you at the end of the season.
ON TRACK FOR THE BIGGEST GAME EVER IN THE HISTORY OF EVER
1. Michigan (WOO HOMER!)
2. Ohio State
STILL IN MY TOP TEN DESPITE AVAILABLE EVIDENCE
CREAMY SOFT MIDDLE OF CONFERENCE
4. Michigan State
6. Penn State
YOU LOST WHAT TO WHO?
5. In keeping with the spirit of Maize n Brew, name your beverage of choice on game days and why. It need not be alcoholic, as there are some of us who choose not to imbibe on game day. Further, it need not be limited to a single brand/type/category. If you enjoy drinking PBR and Kraft Turkey Gravy at the same time (which I have personally witnessed), please, elaborate. Finally, if you should feel so inclined, and this is not a requirement, add an anecdote involving said beverage choice.
I don't drink on gamedays. At least, not before the game. Whenever I've watched a sporting event in the throes of intoxciation the memories afterward are hazy and dulled, and I'm willing to take the chance of something awful happening (like, say, 2005) in exchange for a clear and lucid remembrance of anything Mario Manningham does.
BONUS SMQB question: What gridiron memory sears you so deeply, down to your appropriately-colored veins, that a simple acknowledgement, a "sorry" from the proper source - even if it didn't change the outcome - would lift a burden and cleanse a scarred corner of the soul? What injustice do you still carry, and want officially recognized?
I would like to see the timekeeper who gave Michigan State a second it did not have in 2001 shot.