Wife Day Advice for the Unmarried Reader

Amen!  Could not agree more.  I'll be outside working out in the yard all day.

How do I take advice from a man that suggests to start drinking after all the college football games concluded?

I need to wash down that piece of chocolate chip cake and those kettle chips with something.

I'm in the unique situation of having my wife out of town tomorrow.   What's sad is that I'm actually torn between doing this to relive those "glory" days and the reality that I may be so far gone that I will scold myself out of doing this in her absence.

sad.

sad.

it only gets sadder-er, kids.

As a high school student, this is pretty much every fall Saturday for me(unless it's a home game). Enjoying every minute of it. 

Move to the west coast, so that noon game begins at 9AM. You can watch it from bed. Maybe shower at halftime, maybe not. Follow schedule as above, but then catch the 7pm PST game between some PAC12 teams. After four games in one day, you'll be in a zombie-like trance, but it'll be worth it.

I have never read better advice from a married guy in my life. I love my wife with all my heart. But that still doesn't make me miss the Perfect (non-Wife) Day as you've described it above.

Wow.  Thanks for putting this time of my life into perspective for me.

is one of the best MGoBlog diaries I have ever read. Kudos.

Yeah, I'll be cleaning toilets and doing laundry tomorrow. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Is 707 Oxford FIJI?

My first child was born when I was 21. We had 3 by the time I was 26. After years of a bad marriage and 10 years of raising kids on my own after that, my kids are now all out of the house, and I can say with complete honesty that this is the best time of my life. I love my kids, I love having them around when I can, but being carefree is awesome, particularly knowing what it was like to have every moment taken up with taking care of others.

Every Saturday I'm at a bar, enjoying a draft beverage, rooting on my team and chatting with any young lady wearing maize and blue. I eat too much, spend way too much on restaurants and alcohol, and I date women far too young for me. Life is amazing.

Enjoy what you have now, and look forward to life getting all the better.

From someone getting married in May, this may be the greatest diary ever. Nothing that you've said does not appeal to me tomorrow....

Ok, maybe the diaper thing, but everything else.....excellent.

Watch football the minute you wake up until you either a.) leave to go out fashionably late for the evening or b.) pass out in the wee hours of the morning with some Pac12 postgame show droning on in the darkness.

Shower if you want. Or don't.

If you live alone, feel free to turn up the TV volume to ungodly levels when you leave the room to go to the bathroom. When people say freedom is a privilege, this is what they're talking about.

And leave remnants of all food consumed throughout the day on the coffee table. Chicken wings? Empty chip bags? Those six pack rings that kill dolphins? Leave it all there as a tribute to the day's conquests. Ants shmants.

Is all of this disgusting and maybe juvenile? Sure. But once that page is turned, you can never go back. So I say revel in your glorious and excusable bachelorhood.

Good stuff, 707. Happy Wife Day, my friends.

Excellent advice. For those of you in the kids stage of life, hang in there, the empty nest awaits (although these days you may not get the kids out until they are in their 30s and you are in your… well, best not to contemplate that).

And if you are smart and lucky enough to have a wife born and bred in SEC country, she will get into the games with you, and make gloriously unhealthy dips and other delights, and stick with you beer for beer (waistline control allowing), and life will be grand. Long live the football wives!

Nice work, 707oxford.  

My daughter is 5 years old.  I survive only because of the DVR.  The precious, irreplaceable DVR.  

I can testify how true this post is.  

When I was young and single, I did exactly what the post recommends - laid around all day and ate and watched CFB.  It just came natural.  I thought it was normal life.

Then I got married.  Still not too bad . . . more chores to do and someone looking over your shoulder in judgement, but it was only a quantitative difference, not a qualitative difference.  Just had to dial it back a little.

Then I had kids.  Forget it, it was over.  Marrige is compromise, but kids are sacrifice.  Kids suck all the oxygen out of the all-day CFB room.  You can never just hang around all day and watch football.  When you are married, the bye-week is Wife Day.  When you have young children, every week is Kid Day.

This weekend I will get to see about an hour of the OSU-MSU game and maybe part of the Neb-Wisc game.  Next weekend I will not get to see a single second of CFB at all.  Forget about DVR'ing the games because there is no time to watch them later.

None of this is to complain, it is just to second the OP's advice to enjoy yourself and wallow in it now if you can.  Because there will come a day when you can't.

Sleeping in -------->happiness

Great diary.

Also, between the Sunday late game and Sunday night football, go to a movie.  Make your choice last minute and enjoy the fact that your only cost is the price of admission.  

After your kids are born and until your kids are teens, movies in a theater will be things that require much advance planning.   Then you'll shell out for a babysitter (3-5 times what the actual movie will cost), but since you have the sitter and it's a rare night out with the wife, she'll suggest "Let's make it a full night out and get dinner beforehand."   

Take it from a guy who just had #3 -- a baby boy -- named Brady.

#GoBlue

As a 25 year old father of two that has been married for almost 5 years... I can say that you are spot on my friend. Simply amazing.

Doesn't anyone look for common interests anymore?

Some of you guys got married so young, I don't think you had much time to wallow.  But may be you will be young enough when you are empty nesters to wallow, but may be having to eat healthier!

Was just allowing the wife to watch the entire NW game instead of it being second fiddle to Michigan. Common interests indeed. I simply gave up the NFL once I got married...and I haven't really missed it. I watch the Lions on DVR but Sundays are family day, Saturdays are football day, for me, the wife, and all three kids.

Great, appreciate it.

Great, appreciate it.

I just had my second son, 11 years after my first one.   I get to relive the potty-diaper years again. 

A few years ago I had  a weekend with no one home.  I drank an entire bottle of port, ordered chinese, then italian, and played Starcraft II while watching football to the wee hours, then continued to play Starcraft II until I beat it.  Never showered. 

It was fine and all of that, but I'd rather watch the games with my wife and family.  I don't really miss those days.  Of course I travel for work (~50%) so there's no mystique in being alone for me.  My wife watches football just as much as I do, as she is from Alabama and doesn't go to weddings on Saturdays in the fall, because, "how could someone be so stupid as to get married on a football Saturday?"  I'm told its a common attitude down there, idk.