Who is the Big Ten West?

Submitted by Brhino on

The second worst thing about the Big Ten expanding to 14 teams (worst: Rutgurs, Obviously) is that there is simply not enough room on the schedule to spend a lot of time facing off against the other half of the conference.  Even with the upcoming 9-game conference schedule there are a number of teams that aren't going to seem very familiar when they roll into Michigan Stadium once a decade.  None of this is news, exactly, but when I sat down to figure out when the soonest I could invite my Purdue graduate friend to see our teams play at Michigan Stadium (answer: Literally never.), I realized just how bad some of the gaps are.

For the younger folks that don't remember when the helmets were made out of leather, tickets cost a nickel, and Michigan played Minnesota every year, here is an introduction to the teams of the Big Ten West.

 

Illinois Fighting Illini

Who are they? Michigan's greatest rival.  Wait, what? That's what I'm being told.

When did we last play?  2012 at Michigan.  Michigan won 45-0.  Mostly because Denard did what Denard does.

When will we play next? 2016 @ Michigan.

Gap between games: 4 years

Gap between games at Michigan Stadium: 4 years.

Worst Part: You bought that Blue-and-Orange "Muck Fichigan" t-shirt, but it's only going to be relevant once in your entire college life.

Best Part: It's cool man.  You're gonna wear it to every game anyhow.

 

Iowa Hawkeyes

Who are they? IOWA! Idiots Out Walkin' Around!

When did we last play? 2013, at Iowa.  Michigan lost 24-21, thanks to a furious rally led by some guy named Jake Rudock.  Never heard of him.

When did we last play at Michigan Stadium? 2012.

When will we play next? 2016 @ Iowa.

When will we play next at Michigan? 2019.

Gap between games: 3 years

Gap between games at Michigan Stadium: 7 years

Bold Prediction: There's, like, a 85% chance that Kirk Ferentz's desiccated corpse will still be coaching the team when we host them in 2019.

 

Minnesota Golden Gophers

Who are they? That school that can't seem to get the Block M quite right.  Come on, guys.  Even Missouri can do it.

When did we last play? 2014, at Michigan.  Michigan lost, I guess?  I don't really remember... I was drinking that year.

When will we play next? This year, at Minnesota.

When will we play next at Michigan? 2017.

Gap between games: 1 year.

Gap between games at Michigan Stadium: 3 years

Best Part: fewer matchups gives school officials more time to figure out where to keep putting scores on the Jug.

Worst Part: Fewer opportunities to quote Bill Murray's gopher-killing lines from Caddyshack.

 

Nebraska Cornhuskers

Who are they? One of the most storied programs in college football history, woo'd away from the Big 12 to join the Big Ten, where they've cranked out 4-loss seasons like clockwork.

When did we last play? 2013 at Michigan.  Michigan lost 17-13, rushing for -21 yards on 36 attempts.  Devin Gardener will be telling his therapist about this game.  Not now.  When he's ready.

When will we play next? 2018 at Michigan.

Gap between games: 5 years

Gap between games at Michigan Stadium: 5 years. 

Bold Prediction: We're going to miss the entire Mike Riley era.

 

Northwestern Wildcats

Who are they? A nice little school outside Chicago that lets Michigan play a home game there now and then.

When did we last play? 2014 at Northwestern.  Michigan won 10-9.  Aka The M00N Game.

When did we last play at Michigan Stadium? 2012.

When will we play next? 2015 at Michigan.

Gap between games: 1 year.

Gap between games at Michigan Stadium: 3 years.

Best Part: With Harbaugh v. Fitzgerald, probability of sideline antics exceeds theoretical maximum

Worst Part: some poor soul's going to be in charge of putting together a "highlight reel" of last year's game to play on the jumbotron before this one.  

 

Purdue Boilermakers

Who are they? I remember... faint visions of long ago.  A stupid mustache, and a giant drum.  It doesn't make any sense, I know.

When did we last play? 2012 at Purdue. Michigan won 44-13.  

When did we last play at Michigan Stadium? 2011.

When will we play next? 2017 at Purdue.

When will we play next at Michigan? not scheduled through 2019.

Gap between games? 5 years.

Gap between games at Michigan Stadium: 9+ years

Bold Prediction: We're going to miss the entire Darrell Hazell era. And the entire next era too.  We'll be be on board for the Danny Hope Comeback Tour, though.

 

Wisconsin Badgers

Who are they? Pretty much the only good team in the entire Big Ten West.

When did we last play? 2010 at Michigan.  Wisconsin won 48-28 as the wheels came off the Rodriguez era.

When will we play next? 2016 at Michigan.

Gap between games: 6 years.

Gap between games at Michigan Stadium: 6 years.

Best Part: watching Wisconsin bleed head coaches to side- or down-grade schools is always entertaining.

Worst Part: they're still going to go to the Big Ten Championship 2 out of every 3 years.

Comments

Gofor2

August 8th, 2015 at 1:53 PM ^

Keep in mind UM didn't really beat NW, everyone knows that.

Everyone also knows Whisky will take the west. The only team that has a chance to change that is Minn.
Also I don't think Whisky has bled any more Head coaches than UM has. Maybe less.

Michigan if lucky should finish 3rd in the West, 6-7th overall. If everything falls into place a nice 7-5 year with a date at the Cambells Soup Bowl sometime in December. Anyone saying otherwise is just a offseason dreamer. UM has no shortage of those, we hear from them every summer. Luckily when fall comes around reality smacks them in the face and they shut up. Till next summer of course.

MaizeJacket

August 7th, 2015 at 8:53 AM ^

But it doesn't feel like Illinois, Minnesota, or Northwestern are in the other division.  It seems like Michigan has played or will play them a lot over the next several seasons.  On the other hand, Nebraska, Wisconsin, Iowa, and Purdue might as well be in the Pac-12.  I can't believe Purdue will go without coming to the Big House for over 9 years, while Illinois and Northwestern are coming in seemingly all the time.