OT Diary: Looking Back On My "Episode"

Submitted by LSAClassOf2000 on

LOOKING BACK ON MY “EPISODE”

This is not a sports-related diary per se, but I am posting this because it was a sports blog that helped me get through what might be termed my first official “health scare” back in December, and it occurred to me that I never properly thanked everyone for the kindness and support that was shown during what was a rather rough and eye-opening week in my life.

If you’re interested in the details, feel free to continue reading. The basic lesson that I will throw out there is this – if it isn’t going away, you probably need to see someone about it (i.e., a medical professional) as soon as humanly possible.

I developed a rather nasty cold sometime in the last half of October last year, and like most colds, it persisted for a week or so and then went on its way. Well, not completely on its way – the cough persisted, but I am in my late 30s and still on the cusp of athlete shape most everywhere on me, so I didn’t even consider that to be a problem…yet.

In early November, I went to the urgent care in Canton for the first time – they gave me a cough suppressant, wrote it off as bronchitis and told me that I should probably see improvement in 10-14 days. This was after an hour or so of waiting and exams, so I walked out of there with a prescription and, for a time, the cough got better, but of course that wasn’t the problem now.

A few days before Thanksgiving, the cough came back in force, this time with pink eye and a runny nose, the former being something I had not had since fourth grade even with a house full of kids that had conjunctivitis recently. That was rather strange, but I soldiered through this. By now, however, I was sleeping with my upper torso elevated because it was the only way I was getting relief. Still, I had hopes that this was just a cough.

In the early part of December, I started to notice some swelling in my feet, swelling that I could not associate with the chronic inflammation of tendons that I experience down there anyway. We’re six weeks into this by now and this might have been the first time I was truly flummoxed. Edema – class 2 edema – will do that at my age, because it shouldn’t even be a thing at my age. My primary care physician prescribes a diuretic and a BP med, which again help for a while.

As December wore on, however, I start actually listening to what people are saying about me – mainly about my loss of weight (15 pounds from about Halloween at that juncture) and my ashen appearance, which I think I might have been in denial about. Yes, the cough persisted, and was getting steadily worse. The weekend before Christmas is when this all came crashing down on me.

I was at a family party on the 19th of December, where I made it memorable by hacking up enough fluid to build a lung and then hacking up everything that I had eaten in the driveway. That came before the night of exactly zero sleep, where my coughing actually led to a noise complaint at the Dundee Quality Inn. At 10:30 AM on Sunday, December 20th, my wife – who was tired of me trying to bargain with myself that this was something I could conquer alone – basically threw me into the car and carted me to St. Joseph Mercy in Ann Arbor.

It was in that emergency room that I first began to realize that, no, it wasn’t a cough. More to the point, it might have been a cough, but it was now something very different. I got the feeling I might be in for an adventure when I was carted right to the acute rooms after a brief look at my vitals. On to the monitors I went, and if the tachycardia and ultra-high blood pressure weren’t jarring enough, the chest x-ray, the left side of which was opaque, was downright frightening.

“This is not normal.”, said the ER physician.

A very frightened me said, “Yes, I get that.”

My right lung was about ¾ full of….something. I also had a heart which was now a smidge larger than it should have been. Both bad, of course.

More tests. CT scans and what seemed like 100 blood panels. Nothing else terribly amiss other than the heart and lung. In the haze of talk and machines, I may have missed a detail here and there, but at about 3:00 PM, they came in with the equipment to basically drain me. So that is what I signed off on, eh? I can’ remember. Whatever.

For those that have not had the pleasure of having a tube inserted into a lung, it is relatively minor and painless thanks to the very powerful local that they give you. Being just loopy enough to be aware of your surroundings is an interesting experience too. A little pressure and a poke and you are now hooked to a plastic box with a liter or so of capacity.

My right lung began draining almost immediately – a brown, sometimes reddish fluid. A good thing in the sense that it gave them the impression that my immune system had won, but at a rather significant cost. Anyway, one liter…then two….then three. It took about five minutes to get three liters of this shit out of me. They stopped it intentionally, in fact, with a valve down at the top of the container. More than enough to test.

It was pretty evident I was going to be spending some time in the hospital at this point, of course. About an hour after that rather horrific look inside me, I was in a room watching TV and waiting for doctors to tell me what my next few days would be like.

From my days when I was heavy into neuropsychology, I gained some – a tiny bit – of medical knowledge out of necessity. So when they began to throw “cardiomyopathy” and “pleural effusion” around, I got the message rather clearly and began to feel a combination of relief and anger – anger at myself. Just a cough indeed, Lorne. A few more days and this was an ICU-worthy offense, if you will. They were very clear about that part.

My life in the short term changed right then and there – the hospital diet was a low-sodium diet, the thoracic and cardio specialists came in shifts to talk treatment and future. Among some of the more interesting things that were done to me in the name of eliminating causes were a catheterization, which yielded nothing but compliments about the clear nature of my arteries, a procedure where I got shot up with something to accelerate the drainage of fluid from my lung and got turned like a rotisserie chicken in the process and an echo of my legs, which yielded the startling finding that my veins are of a healthy size.

Furosimide took care of the edema at this point, which all but vanished inside a few days. One thing about that – peeing became a temporary hobby. A good sign, but extremely inconvenient. The potassium pills were as close to literal horse pill as you can get too. Take them with food? They are food unto themselves. By the third day in the hospital, I was free of equipment and able to walk without having to give a nurse 15 minutes warning. I walked around that ward – Floor 2 East – and saw people much worse off than I. The feeling was one of humility and thankfulness, or rather, I was humbled by the notion that some of these cases could have been me, but thankful that the one thing that might have saved me from more serious problems is being 38 and fit.

I was finally able to go home at about 10:30 AM on Christmas Day. For the first time in my entire life, I had spent Christmas Eve alone. Worse, I spent it in a hospital room surrounded by people who, in one or two cases, might not even leave that hospital alive, or so I gathered from the chatter I could hear. The most I could do was turn on the single strand of lights that my mother-in-law put up and watch “A Christmas Story” on the grainy reception of Room 231.

I went back to work two followup appointments later – on January 20th. I spent a month basically tooling around my house in a rather depressed state, but somehow a wiser one. I still suffer from the effects of all this, at least a little bit – my wife lords over my physical activity like a hawk to this day and I am on some of the medications right now. I have another followup in June and one more echocardiogram. My ejection fraction is still a bit south of normal, so no booze and the diet remains for the time being. I have experienced what for a younger person is a radical life shift, even if it is ultimately temporary. I felt everything – fear, self-hatred, relief and so on – sometimes in the span of hours.

That brings me to what I wanted to say here – one thing that did get me through this was MGoBlog. I may not have been terribly active on it for about a week or so there, but I was reading and laughing and shaking my fist in anger at various threads right along with everyone else. The thread about my hospitalization – which was unprompted – was a very touching display of support, one I printed out and still have on the wall of my home office. In a time when I was despairing a bit, this place helped me out.

It is a bit belated, but I did want to thank everyone for that. I like you, even if your thread makes me want to put my head through the fucking wall.

-LSAClassOf2000

Comments

SoDak Blues

May 3rd, 2016 at 10:16 AM ^

LSA, glad you are feeling better and getting back to a more "normal" state. Totally second your advice to get things checked out sooner rather than later. Having a Y chromosome often makes us a little slower to seek out medical care, but I am glad you did. Keep your head up man, and thanks for sharing!

EDIT: BTW, I have no idea how you moderate this board some days - head through a fucking wall indeed. 

The Mad Hatter

May 3rd, 2016 at 10:26 AM ^

I'm glad you're not dead.

We're the same age, and while I've never had a health scare quite that bad, getting hospitalized for pneumonia (also after ignoring a cough a little too long) was a pretty eye opening experience for me.  Being forced to stare at your own mortality is never fun.

 

Hotel Putingrad

May 3rd, 2016 at 11:16 AM ^

Few things are more depressing than a hospital at Christmas time, and that was probably a rough time for your wife and kids. I'm sure you hug them every chance you get now. And just out of curiosity, was your condition inherited or just bad luck? Here's to you being on the mend, and while no one who willfully chooses to moderate a blog is "normal," at least you're back to better!

LSAClassOf2000

May 3rd, 2016 at 11:25 AM ^

They are of the opinion that this was viral, possibly a product of a cold - THAT cold -  that spiralled out of control basically. It went down on the officially diagnosis, in part, as "viral cardiomyopathy". They couldn't find anything from which they could produce a culture in the drainage from my right lung, so if it was there, it wasn't active at that point. 

StephenRKass

May 3rd, 2016 at 11:32 AM ^

Thanks for sharing your story. I have always appreciated diaries like this, both humorous and serious ones. I forget about many of the sports discussions, but I still remember stories and accounts of Korean in-laws and Korean girlfriends. I still remember Brian's long form rememberings, and pieces like "seven swans."

It has always struck me that human beings are basically wired for relationships. Even those guys who are so called "loners" usually have some relationships, some community, some fellowship, that they are part of. Mgoblog is definitely a "community" or family or something. In your particular situation, it was a place you could forget about your health for a bit and relate to others.

I also really echo the need to take your health seriously and not delay. I won't go into the details, but I had a major stroke while visiting a friend in Brooklyn back in 2013. Fortunately, I was with a fellow UM grad who is a prof at Columbia teaching med students. He figured out what was happening, had me eat 4 aspirin immediately, and the stroke was completely reversed at New York Presbyterian / Weill Cornell Hospital in Manhattan with TPA. I would have probably delayed and had irreversible damage if I had been at home. DON'T IGNORE YOUR HEALTH . . . GET TO THE DOCTOR . . . STAT!

Seth

May 3rd, 2016 at 11:50 AM ^

I wish I could express how happy I am to see you on the other side of this. We need you back on the front lines, and posting diaries of stats with cats.

ScruffyTheJanitor

May 3rd, 2016 at 12:50 PM ^

On one hand, it reminds me of my Dad when some tests revealed that he had multiple silent heart attacks-- he really tried to down play it, even though it really did scare him. He used to call it his "thing."

On the otherhand, it sounds similar to someone referring to passing out as "gettting the vapors."

Anyway, glad you are on the mend. Here's to hoping your next Christmas is as awesome as your last one was awful.

teldar

May 3rd, 2016 at 4:37 PM ^

It was effusion which caused some right side failure and some cardiomegaly? Would certainly make sense. Impressive you made it 2 months before you went to the hospital.

LB

May 3rd, 2016 at 5:47 PM ^

Some of the things we take lightly have no respect for us. Of course, we don't have cough syrup like this today!

Kavhstser

May 4th, 2016 at 4:46 AM ^

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UMgradMSUdad

May 4th, 2016 at 6:57 AM ^

Scary stuff.  Partners are often the saviors of men it seems. I know my wife has saved me in various ways through the years by being a check to my ego, negligence, or idiocy, nothing nearly as extreme as you went through though.

For many of us, it does seem part of our DNA to want to soldier on, tough it out, not want to bother anyone with our troubles, and that sometimes creates bigger problems down the road.

Thank you for posting this.  Who knows, it might just stay in people's minds enough to cause at least a few people to stop ignoring a medical condition that's not getting any better.

TESOE

May 4th, 2016 at 10:03 AM ^

Cool story bro...my paltry mgoblog production and posts are a direct result of mental health issues careening our family down a mystery tour of brain science discovery and poorly executed attempts to seek help.

Married life keeps you alive.  Prince died young.

Word LSA.  

Cats.

pkatz

May 4th, 2016 at 11:35 AM ^

I had a similar experience last year and would like to share my story because it also furthers the point that when things may not seem/feel right, they probably aren't and you should seek help, regardless of how uncomfortable or scary that may seem.  

Healthy 50 old male with no prior history and had never spent a night in the hostpital. Started feeling weak while at a gathering for my daughter's friends/parents for their prom-like dance that evening.  My wife and I had plans that night, which I actually considered going to, but I elected to stay home and watch TV; all three kids and my wife were gone from the house at this point.  Things seemed fine as I watched TV and had something to eat.  Around 9:30pm got up to pee and, as I walked out of the bathroom, proceeded to lose consciousness; awoke shortly after having passed a significant amount of blood.

The fact I was healthy and had never spent any time in the hospital may have worked against me at this point, as I convinced myself it was not worthy of a trip to the hospital. Stripped out of my clothes and threw them in the wash, even going as far as starting the cycle; in retrospect, I think I may have been trying to hide the evidence of what had just occurred. Took a shower, but was having an increasingly difficult time standing upright and catching my breath.  My family soon started to return home from their various locations, and I managed to convince my wife I was ok and just needed to rest (there was no evidence of what had occurred), and probaby did not fully clue her in.

Next day was Saturday and I laid low all day, but had an appetite.  The fact I was pale and weak wasn't enough to get me to the hospital, as I was no longer passing blood, but couldn't even walk up a flight of stairs.  Went to bed early, but when I awoke Sunday I realized things were not even close to being ok.

Barely managed to walk the 15 feet to our bathroom, but the most alarming thing was what I saw staring back at me in the mirror: my face was devoid of all color, my eyes were sunken, and I looked just like my father had following his heart surgery.  At this point, my wife, having caught a glimpse of me, was detemined to get me to the ER, but was trying to decide if I required an ambulance or just help getting me into the car.  As I walked to the toilet, I collapsed and proceeded to lose what the doctors would later estimate to be about 70% of my blood volume.  My heart raced uncontrollably and I fought to remain conscious as I lay on the floor in a pool of blood.  My wife screamed and grabbed the phone to call for help.  Again, most likely wanting to minimize the reality of the situation, I managed to crawl into the shower to wash off the significant amount of blood; my wife found me there moments later on the shower floor, unconscious. 

Fire crew were the first to arrive and started with my vitals, followed moments later by the EMTs.  Off to the ER, where my wife is part of the staff, and significant testing and scopes to determine the cause of the blood loss, followed by five days in the hospital.  The team of doctors were never able to detemine the cause of the episode but said I was lucky to be alive, and that a stroke or heart attack had been a very real possibility.  Recovery took months as my body replenished the blood loss; to this day, my ability to weather cold temperatures remains affected - this for a person who had grown up skiing in the VT cold as well as biking to Ross during the dead of winter.

Lessons learned: do not barter with yourself when it comes to health, if it does not feel normal or right, get help; appreciate health while you do have it; love family and friends because it can all be gone in a heartbeat.

Of course, MGoBlog had a big presence on my computer during that extensive recovery.

Thanks for allowing me to share.

pkatz

May 6th, 2016 at 9:41 AM ^

Color me terrified I guess... diagnosis was inconclusive. After being scoped and probed, they finally had me swallow a pill-camera - they believe I may have had a bleeding ulcer in my small intestine, but couldn't be sure. Doctors had me make changes to my diet and approach to life to try to avoid further incidences.



This is why I now try to be more appreciative of life - never know what tomorrow brings.








Sent from MGoBlog HD for iPhone & iPad

StephenRKass

May 4th, 2016 at 11:54 AM ^

Can't completely generalize. There are outliers to every example you give. Nonetheless, the avoiding of going to the doctor or the hospital really seems predominantly to be a male thing. I suppose guys don't want to appear "weak" or "vulnerable." As a result, they too often cause irreparable physical damage, which could have been averted by listening to the warning signs. I definitely feel guilty that I was a lucky one with prompt treatment for my stroke.

Wolfman

May 7th, 2016 at 8:41 PM ^

and, of course, the fact that you made it through this terrible episode. I was not aware at that time because I was still back in Michigan and really didn't hit the blog until I  arrived back in Mexico. So this is a belated congratulations on pulling through this terrible event.

While reading your encapsulatization of what you went through I know that other than your immediate illness, you were just as worried about those you thought you might be leaving behind. I know this because I went through something similar, only  7 years older than you were.

My son and I had lost his mother two years earlier, so I was 43 with a 15 year old son to raise. Much like you, I was in tremendous physical shape - my doctor even asked me, are you sure you're a smoker - and being a football coach, in addition to working for the Gov't, I felt I should set an example and so in addition to running, I also worked out regularly.

After roughly three weeks of dizziness, never experiencing pain you would think I would have considering the upcoming surgery I was about to have, more than a little bit of energy loss, and strangely enough feeling relief from this if I got home from the office and engaged in some sort of physical activity. At that time,. my sister was remodeling her house so that kept me busy, running over there to pitch in. But when I got home, I would crawl into bed, dead-ass exhausted. And the next day it would start again, the dizziness, lack of energy, etc.

Then one day, walking up the Grand Rapid Press to put an ad in the paper looking for housing for one of our  gov't agencies, I felt more than dizzy. Just extremely strange feeling but understanding completely I  was about to take my last breath. Well, of course that didn't happen, but when I was able to get up and get back to the office, I phoned my immediate superior in Chicago to let them know I was going into Emergency.

After doing what they do, they came back and told me my EKG did not look right. Later they rolled me into the basement and using a camera, they pointed out the occulsions, one of which was over 75% to my aerota. Finding two more occlusions it was determined a tripe bypass was in order. But damn, having good insurance. Instead of doing it immediately, they waited roughly two weeks, allowing my fears and apprehension to build. Not about possible loss of life, but putting my son through possibly something worth than losing one parent, losing both.

And that is the only reason I added my episode. I know some of the things you felt in regard to what you thought you might be leaving behind, which in its own way is very much worse than facing and surviving what we went through. You realize then, it's not your life that is most important, it's those that would suffer if that were to be realized.

So I want you to know I understand, probably more than most, what some of your biggest fears were and of course I am elated that you are here to write this. But I am even more thankful that your family is able to see you everyday and you are able to express your love because when you're staring at it, that is when it becomes most clear.

Now, for the rest of your life be healthy and thanks for sharing with the board that which normally remains confidential for reasons I've still yet to fully grasp.

a

Wolfman

May 11th, 2016 at 11:36 AM ^

Appreciate the thoughts. Yeah, I'm doing good. That was 18 years ago. But at that point in life - 45- and the loss both me and my son were going through((although almost everyone says had gone through, and I did as well, I have learned in truth, it's going through until it's over.)  I can't imagine any more stress is possible. I was so damn worried about him and the obvious depression he was going through I was allowing my mind to play some games.  I was surprised at how long it took - probably three years - until my chest was back to normal. I wasn't in pain but it's obvious the  human body wasn't made for the saw, but I'm damn sure glad it can handle it. But as to mind games. Every little pain near my  left side and I felt like Fred Sampson. Was on fthe Klonopin for awhile. And to be honest watching him get better allowed me to get better mentally.

Again, thanks for the response and the good thoughts.

Wolfman

May 30th, 2016 at 7:04 AM ^

while still in Mexico. I was scrolling through the thread when I came across your's and I was so moved I tried to comment immediately, but computer problems, not uncommon this year due to, until my final two days - nice guy - my landlord had us all feeding off a modem too small and too far away imo to work properly at most times. \

However, back on point. I was so moved by your story for two reasons. The horrific nature of your incident was just that. I can only imagine how close you came to dust to dust at 70% blood loss. My goodness, the weakness along with fatigue must have been overwhelming, but it is difficult to explain at the time. Thus, the reason for my writing.

As I stated, your experience was terrible, as were all others added here, began thankfully by LSA and added to as deemed fit by others. You stated LSA was a great writer, which he most definitely is. However, reading your account, I vacillated between the emotions of listening to a friend recount one of the worst days of his life, along with pure admiration at your ability to, using words, paint a picture so damn clear, as horrified as I was at your recall, I was equally amazed at your ability to express this. You left no doubt, with your mastery of story telling, the result, I believe, of a heavily influenced English curriculum along with a professional placement making these skills essential to your performance that you, as well, are a tremendous writer.

Although this has nothing to do with your terrible ordeal, I just wanted to make you aware this did not go unnoticed. Truly impressed my friend.

pkatz

June 1st, 2016 at 4:20 PM ^

I was actually an English major undergrad, then was fortunate to get my MBA from Michigan.

That story happens to be very difficult for me to retell, but I am more than glad to share my experience if it helps even one person. I still have a fair amount of PTSD, going as far as having trouble seeing extensive blood loss in a movie (didn't stop me from seeing Deadpool, though).  From time to time, random things cause me to relive the event, and even using that same shower can bring back the experience.

My wife, who is far smarter and infinitely saner than I am, has prodded me to write a book; not about that event, but other life experiences... maybe someday.

Thanks again 

Wolfman

June 1st, 2016 at 4:56 PM ^

If I did I'd take a far safer route in many of my posts.

I do care, however, about why someone would cast a down vote for that post. How in the hell did I offend anyone with that post? I made an observation, so I could not have hurt any one. Some people are a bit touchy me thinks.

But hope you're feeling better, and if you are, I would suggest hitting me with about 5 other negs. I can take it, as long as it makes you feel better though.

WNY in Savannah

May 9th, 2016 at 11:23 PM ^

Thanks to LSA and others who have posted their stories.  I am just reading this now because my wife has been in the hospital with a ruptured appendix.  Thankfully she is on the mend, and I'm glad you guys are recovering/have recovered, too.  I absolutely agree with the advice of not ignoring a physical problem.  We get caught up in our daily routines and tend to put way too much importance on things that don't really matter at all.  Remember what really matters, folks.  Don't take your health for granted and don't take the people you love for granted.

Prince Lover

May 15th, 2016 at 4:34 PM ^

2 4th of July's ago, I spent 5 days in the hospital. Two weeks before I had a pain in my lower gut that made me think I was constipated. It went away in a couple of days only because I had diarrhea every two or three hours. After two weeks of this along with uncontrollable shaking fits that lasted 5 minutes or so, fevers that would come and go, a yellowish hue to my complexion and a heartbeat that would skyrocket for no good reason, I finally told my wife, let's go to a urgent care. After giving me more saline bags than they would a horse, they sent me home and said they'll run some tests. The next day they called and said a bed is waiting for me at UM hospital.
I had diverticulitis. I developed a E. coli blood infection because of that and my body's response was to form a blood clot in my liver to protect the liver from the blood infection supposedly.
It was a long five days in the hospital. I had at one time 4 different ivs in me. They wouldn't let me eat or drink anything, in case they had to do emergency surgery. The had to do blood tests like every four hours including middle of nights. Top it off, I was still running to bathroom, monitors and ivs and all every two hours.
Long story I know, I apologize, to just say, doctors are there when you're not feeling well. Go see them when you're not feeling well. I learned this the hard way too.
And like you LSA, the only thing that kept me sane, was checking in on mgoblog and looking for recruiting news and the wonderfully devilish snarky humor this place has. I didn't have energy or the want to, to post anything. But I just wanted to be distracted from my boredom and loneliness. (I missed my 5 year old daughter terribly but didn't want her to see me with all those tubes in me.
So thank you mgoblog, you are a wonderful convalescent partner!

MaizeJacket

May 23rd, 2016 at 10:12 AM ^

I'm equally glad that each of you overcame your brushes with disaster, and now have the opportunity to fully appreciate the life that we are so blessed to have.  As I started reading LSA's story, it was a bit surreal at first because I too had a nasty sinus attack/runny nose/cough starting on October 17, the very day of Pitt @ GT and MSU @ M, among the worst sinus/runny nose/cough experiences I've had if not the worst.  Seemed fitting given how those games that day turned out.  I went to bed right after the bad thing happened in AA, and luckily my experience was "only" a severe cold that I got over within a week.  It certainly seems like there was some sort of pathogen(s) making rapid rounds that time of year.

Luckily my fiancee is an EMT/dispatch for Grady Hospital, so over our years of courtship she has gradually opened me up concerning my willingness to share anything that might not feel right.  I think that cannot be understated with these stories, as well.

M-Lemon

June 1st, 2016 at 9:37 PM ^

This is a win-win.  Writing about your medical problems is cathartic.  Reading about other people's medical problems makes everyone feel better.  Seriously, man, I'm glad you got through this!

Mgodiscgolfer

August 24th, 2016 at 10:38 AM ^

I just wanted to say I am glad you LSA were able to get through this for the most part and I hope everything went well for you in June. I am also happy the rest of you guys who shared here and turned out ok. I was not paying very good attention when this "Episode" brought you back from invincibility. I am sure I would have been one of those to congradulate you for making it through all the BS they have to put you through. I also was one of those in denial as to what was wrong with me in part because I was a chicken liver. The other part was I knew that I was invincible even though they actually thought I could possibly die. After three weeks of denial I finally went to the E room at Royal Oak Beaumont to prove these bufoons wrong once and for all. Ironically, so I could live the rest of my life in peace. Well after my catheter and Quadruple Bypass they told me my main artery the "widow maker" was 90% blocked. So I had a giant plate of baked crow only because fried Crow is no longer on the menu and thanked all the "Bufoons" for ignoring my invincibilty and saving my life.