dlanny22, sorry to hear about your wife. I am glad though that the MGoBlog community was able to make that hard time for you and her a little bit easier.
I have been a member of the community since January 4, 2009. I did, however, read off and on beginning when I was in Afghanistan in 2007. ( Found the site by searching about who the next coach would be). Needless to say, over time, I have read some great stories, epic meltdowns and comments that did make me legitimately laugh out loud.
The reason why I decided to post this is to shed light on the postives that can come, individually, from other readers to another. I saw an add just a moment ago on here about curing Cystic Fibrosis. That took me back to March 26, 2010.... or you can just read here. http://mgoblog.com/mgoboard/ot-reason-4-billion-hate-ohiovery-personal
The helpful attitude and well wishes that were given that day gave me and my G/F(who ended up being my wife) the motivation to not take no for an answer. As several readers noted in the content, we were able to get our feet in the door at the lovely university of Michigan health system. While going through all the workup for the transplant we were engaged and eventually married on the day of the Big Chill or 12-11-10.
Sadly, while trying to get her health better my wife went into the hospital to gain weight on May 24, 2011 and suddenly became even more unhealthy until her eventual passing on July 3, 2011. The moral of all of this is that this blog is more to me than just sports and although I know some readers and contributors may not like the way the blog has turned lately I can still look back on its immense positive contribution to my life.
There was another specific night that that MGoBlog made better. The wife was very hungry(CF patients are tiny, but not for lack of appetite), so we were going to go out to eat. However, we had to wait for oxygen supplies to be delivered to our place before leaving. Long story short, they missed the drop off time by multiple hours. The only saving grace that night was MGoBlog, and more to the point, CRex's stories about the Korean in laws. Those great stories put a smile on her face and were a memory she'd reference from time to time until her passing.
Just remember, that although for the most part you may think you're unheard/seen your positive and educated responses can change someone's day and potentially life for the better. Even though she wasn't able to get the transplant, it was because of this blog that we were given idea, and in turn given a chance.
Thank you MGoCommunity
MODS- As always, if you feel this doesn't need to be on here feel free to delete.
Her and I about 3 months before she passed.
dlanny22, sorry to hear about your wife. I am glad though that the MGoBlog community was able to make that hard time for you and her a little bit easier.
And in case you missed it, MGoBlog actually saved a guy's life last week.
It's a great community here.
but it did happen. Basically a user was going through some mental health issues and got a lot of emails and support in the comments from other MGoMembers.
Also, OP, I echo everything people have said about condolences, and I am glad you've found ways to help cope with a terrible tragedy. Your comment in the diary about whether this "needs to be here" is nuts, though. This is one of the best things I've read here in a while, and I'm glad you decided to share.
agreed, no apologies necessary for something like this. These are the things the make Mgoblog awesome, for me.
But a member of the community was going through some tough times and contemplating suicide. After an outpouring of support, he posted a thank you to the community, and hopefully, continues to do well.
EDIT: What Justingoblue said
While the posts can get out of control at MGoBlog at times, overall, there is usually some sense of decorum and decency, and it's great when a blog community can do something positive, however small it may be, for one of its members, even if it's just bringing a smile or a bit of pleasure once in awhile.
Other sports blogs can be quite the contrast. I don't mean this to imply RCMB posters had anything to do with this woman's suicide, but the level of depravity and mob mentality over there with seemingly no checks from mods and very little from other posters often veers from the boorish to the obscene and repugnant. Here is a bit from a thread on RCMB quoting the mother of the poster, Ashley:
I don't think anyone on the board knew she was dealing with issues relating to "the most terrible crime that could ever be committed against a woman," but that still doesn't excuse the often violent and sexually abusive language that was used by posters to ridicule her. Such abuse should never be tolerated under any circumstances. Those who have ventured over to RCMB probably know of what I speak, even it they don't know the exact posts and language used towards Ashley. For anyone who doesn't have a clue, pretty much the worst you could imagine seems par for the course. And if anyone needs proof, just use the search function over there with Ashley's user name: ash liz, but don't say I didn't warn you. If you have any decency at all, you will be thoroughly disgusted and livid at the abuse that was heaped upon her.
As a tRCMB mod, I'm both disgusted and saddened that you would stoop so low and use a tragic event to take a shot at tRCMB and Spartans. Ashley was well liked and known by many of the posters on tRCMB. Her life was tragic in many ways, and yes, she unfortunately took some mistreatment from some posters over some poor judgement of her own. As someone who knew her personally and spent time at tailgates with her, I'm disgusted that you would leverage this tragic event to take a shot at Spartans and MSU fans. Your comments are not only way out of line, but out of place in this thread. This thread is about the good things that can be brought to people at a time of need. You used it to disparage a rival. For shame.
My condolences to the OP. Allegiances are meaningless compared to real life events like these.
I had a very long response typed up to this. As is inevitable with such long responses though, when I reached the end I felt like I was being overly dramatic. Tl;dr version: I agree with Colonel Forbin. I don't know the specifics of the Ashley situation, but the death of someone is NOT the sort of thing that should be used to disparage a football rival.
But we're lucky to have a place like this that can not only garner good feelings like above, but at least generally has some control that wouldn't let things like that happen. Forbin isn't evn really denying it happened. He's just mad it was used to make tem look bad. And as a "mod" he shoud be ashamed. Te place is a cesspool. Maybe he should spend his time on his high horse deleting "Erin Andrews is flexible" or "hot or not - Colts cheerleaders with shaved head" that with a simple check have popped up AFTER the post about the girl. Classy. They'd also delete posters and ban them who are making fun of the death in the thread. They'd be gone here. It's hard to imagine what a mod even does over there. Getting rid of stuff like this might be a good start-
So wait. People post death on their Facebook?
Yeah. It's in the box with the options "Single," "In A Relationship," "Kind of Complicated" and "Dead."
27 hours ago
Yes, this wasn't my classiest post. And I do apologize to friends and family of Ashley for any offense. That was not my intent. I also offer my condolences to the OP and apologize for highjacking his thread. But no, I have no problems with with MSU or Spartan fans. Both my father and one of my daughters are proud MSU graduates, and I am proud of their academic accomplishments as well.
I do have problems with what's allowed to go at RCMB though. Some of the posters in the thread about her death have expressed their shame for their abusive treatment of her. The mods are the ones who should be most ashamed for allowing such abuse in the first place, and I stand by my criticism of RCMB. It often seems like an out of control free for all, and misogynistic, sexist, and abusive posts are allowed to stand, even when a mob mentality takes over, with each poster seemingly trying to outdo the others.
My offense was a one-time lapse in propriety. The ones who should be most ashamed, though, are the ones who have allowed such an on-going pattern of abusive and offensive posts to stand.
I feel a little torn about that thread getting removed. It was what makes Mgoblog great. I've never been anywhere close to what the OP or that OP from last week was, but I can tell you that Mgoblog has helped me through some very, very tough times.
Sometimes hearing things from complete stangers who have been through the same thing as you is the best medicine - for me, it was struggling when I had graduated Michigan, my best friends having moved away, and learning to live in post-grad life (obviously nowhere near where some people have been). I can literally say that Mgoblog helped me get to where I am today. I'm sure it has done the same for other people.
Sorry for your loss, and thanks for the pick me up after a tough week. mgoblog really does find a way to put a smile on your face every day.
Thanks a million for sharing. I remember your original post well. I know we are all sorry to hear that your lovely wife passed away but you will always have a "home" and compassionate eyes and keyboards here if you need them. We work hard to keep the Board a civil place because there are great people like you with great backgrounds and great (or not-so-great) stories that read and are often personally affected by posts. I'll always believe that everyone deserves respectful treatment and your story is a great example of why - but for you feeling comfortable posting on the Board we would have never been able to attempt to help you and your wife. Your contribution to the Board is greatly appreciated.
Very sorry for your loss, dlanny22. Thanks for sharing this with us too.
One of the things that make this place unique among sports blogs, I think, is that it does have a developed sense of community and has enough resources at its disposal through networking to make an impact like this, and a realizable one at that. When I lost one of my sisters in October, this is one of the first places I went, and I found MGoBloggers who had lost a sibling and was able to get a lift in an otherwise rough spot. I will always be grateful to this place for that.
We are all well versed enough to realize that bad things happen on the internet. I think, however, that if you disregard the bad and only use it for the good, then good things will come of it. Sorry for the loss of your sister as well. The blog and the football season last year were great breaks away from the monotony of life and the negative things that had happened. This place can be a non adrenaline/alcohol/drug induced high if people let it be. That's what I love about it. Thanks for the comment!
And I'm sorry for your loss. I think you speak for many that this site has been a welcome port in stormy weather.
During my first year as a member, I was suffering from the flu and posted an entry to that effect. In addition to several posts from doctors offering me great advice for how to treat the symptoms, the best medicine was from those who made me laugh out loud, despite the intense physical pain it caused. I looked forward to every new entry.
Many of the contributors - and not just Brian and the Mods (doesn't that sound like an epic name for a band?) - are some of the most insightful and witty writers I have come across.
It is nice to see examples of the blog having some positive impact. One of my younger co-workers lost his mother this morning, so while I won't say it hits home, it certainly puts a finer point on things.
I wish I could take credit, but that ad came to you by AdSense, not directly through us. I do give away some pro-bono ads (Mott's getting one next month provided we can get through the necessary hoops) but I've not done one for CFF before.
Google sold that ad, and it got on this site because the adserver knows your interests. However I would be very interested in doing for reals what I cannot take credit for doing already. I have an idea--check your inbox.
So sorry to hear about your loss. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family.
dlanny22, so sorry for the loss of your wife - very sad indeed. But I am happy to hear that you find solace here. I, too, find solace here but for a much different reason. As a woman in a man's football world, I just want to say you guys on MGoBlog have been really great and tolerant of me, especially when my postings reek of amateur girlishness. I've been a Michigan fan ever since the Harbaugh days, but it wasn't until recently that I really wanted to understand the game better. Aside from my husband and brother (a fellow Mich grad), I have no one to talk to about this! My friends all want to go shoe shopping. So thanks for that. And if ever I say something that is clearly and unequivocally incorrect, please, by all means, set me straight. I'm good with that.
behind these firewalls, anonymous user names, and keyboards, we are mostly human.
best wishes in your difficult times
Comment of the year right here.
Very sorry for your loss OP
My condolences to you, OP. Thanks for sharing, and I'm happy to know that this site is able to help in some small way.
My prayers go out to you, Danny22. Thanks for the perspective. It is the Game, but, it is only a game. This is a community, and I hope you continue to contribute.
My condolences at your great loss, and my thanks for your posting. This may be the best post I've read this week. While I come here and post here a bit less than previously, it is encouraging to be with fellow Michigan fans, and to read both on and off topic posts that are put up.
I really share your experience of the good importance of mgoblog beyond sports. About a week or so ago, I put up a post looking for advice. (My 19 year old daughter is joining the Navy, and has to work through which rate she will commit to.) While the post was taken down within an hour, several mgousers gave great advice. I was able to both e-mail and speak on the phone with someone here who was a great source of information. Those kinds of things make this a wonderful site. While all of us hate the Michigan loss on Saturday, and some are calling for Borges' head on a plate, the balance of the blog has been a great place for solace and for community with other serious fans. My reading at mgoblog means that I can now have intelligent conversations with football coaches and those who have actually played the game intelligently.
Thanks again for your post.
Ironically, sometimes the blog can even be a welcome reminder that football isn't the end-all be-all.
FWIW, I secretly try to leave the kinds of posts like yours up for a little while so that you can at least get a few helpful answers. People helping people.
I appreciate this post so much. I think Mgoblog could have an entire section about how the blog has personally helped people. I know it has for me.
I had nothing to do with anything you mentioned in the post, but I'm very sorry about the loss of your wife. I can't imagine going through a similar situation, but I'm glad you've found a community online to help you get through the days.
I can attest that this reflects him personally. I was able to follow the tragic events as they unfolded, and he handled it better than I could wish to if I were in his situation. The love he showed his wife, Shirley, was the kind of love that you only recognize if you have experienced it. It was devastating to me when I read the final outcome, and I was never lucky enough to have met her.
Merriman Superstars, FTW!
I'm sorry for your loss, dlanny22, but so grateful for your story. I'm always proud to be part of the Michigan family, and I'm glad you have friends and comfort here.
Peace to you and yours.
It really puts into perspective the place of sports in our lives. While we all love Michigan athletics, there are many things more important than what happens on a football field. I'm glad the blog brought you and your wife some happiness during her illness and I hope it continues to do so for you in the future.
I really appreciate you posting this diary. I think it is important to realize there is more to life than sports and to keep in mind that all of our actions, even those that seem trivial at the time can have profound impacts.
There's some responsibility to what we say here.
Your post puts things in perspective. After 3 days around here of the world ending, the results of even the biggest game in the world are ridiculously small compared to what you've gone through. I hope in your darkest times this place can still get a little smile out of you.
And CRex, I think this means we need a new chapter, stat!
I have no idea what it must have been like to go through what you have, OP, but I am very sorry to hear about your loss.
Thank you for sharing; it gives some much needed perspective for when it feels like the sky is falling after days like Saturday.
I can't imagine dealing with something so difficult as losing your wife. I hope you have found peace.
for your service to this country, and for your willingness to share some personal stories. I am terribly sorry for your loss, and I appreciate you putting things into perspective for us.
I also echo what all have posted - thank you for sharing. It's refreshing to remember that blogs are communities with members having their own personal triumphs and tragedies. I'm very sorry for your loss. Thoughts and Prayers!
Thanks for all the comments everyone. Even though what happened to her wasn't a good situation to go through, I have chosen to make the best out of what came from our time together. It is because of her that I am now pursuing my undergrad from Wayne State with the ultimate goal of going to U of M medical school to work in pulmonary/ with CF patients. Though it's a longshot, it's a chance that I had to be willing to take.
As YakAttack said, I wish everyone would've gotten the chance to meet her. The best way to sum it up was the very last day she was here on this earth. While everyone was seated quietly with sad looks on their faces she called me over to her. Her request was, " Can you tell everyone to start telling jokes or funny stories? Cause you guys are bringing me down." Even at a time like that she wanted things to be positive, even while she knew what was coming a couple hours down the road.
What I would have said if I were in that room: "Dlanny, how the heck did you get her? She's clearly much better looking than you are."
(Maybe she's looking down on us from somewhere and will read this and laugh. Wives always think its hilarious to make jokes about husbands.)
Holy crap the pollen count in my office is high!
God bless you man, this certainly puts everything, not just M athletics, into perspective for me.
She was beautiful, you are much stronger than I am, I can say that. thanks for sharing this story!
Sorry about the loss of your wife and the difficult route you and she followed until her passing. Life is not always fair.
It brought back memories of an experience my wife had while she was in med school. She was in M3, her first clinical year, and was taking care of a teenage girl with CF. My wife finished her shift and stayed with the girl for at least another 24 hours, when the girl passed away. My wife came home and cried her eyes out. It has been several decades, but the memory of what she went through is still as fresh as if it happened yesterday.
I find many of the non-sports related threads on here incredibly interesting. We are a community that includes many doctors, lawyers, MBA's, engineers, etc. who possess not only the technical skills but also write well. Many topics that are superficially covered in other media outlets get discussed here in great depth. I hope Mgoblog remains what it is long into the future.
I rarely post comments but was truly touched and inspired by your post. Keep up the fantastic attitude and I am sure you will do great at Wayne State and in Med school.
My sincerest condolences. I wish you the very best in your efforts to get into U of M Med, and in anything else you choose.
Great man and a great tailgater...