(slowly backs away)
My Pet Wolverine
July 2008- Daddy Rod is the best daddy ever!!! Daddy said that since I was so good during all these divorce hearings, he would buy me a dog. I hate being in court when all those people say mean things about my Daddy.
August 2008- I FINALLY GOT THE DOG! I named him Sheridan. He's not very good at tricks yet, but Daddy says he'll learn.
October 2008- Sheridan pooped. A LOT. It made a mess on the couch. My uncles all blamed Daddy, but it was Sheridan's fault.
December 2008- House covered in poop. I want to cry most days, but Uncle Barwis yells bad words at me and tells me this is a family business.
February 2009- The house is getting cleaner, but everybody just compares our yard to our neighbors. I hate Mr. Danton! He is so serious and grumpy all the time.
April 2009- I just wanted to tell you about my new pet! Daddy Rod bought it for me. It is a WOLVERINE!!!!! I named it Tater Tot. He is super cute and furry- I can't wait for him to grow up so I can play with him!!
December 2009- Tater Tot grew up, raped the neighbors and escaped into the woods nearby. I can hear him crunching on the bones of all the forest creatures at night. What has Daddy done?
THE KNOWLEDGE is that you?
god that was dumb
Let me second that opinion.
This one... might be pushing it.
Not the best effort
I am afraid to comment on this one. I am guessing that all those forest creatures include Broncos, Irish little people, Eagles, etc....
That is the point, right.?
As weird and creepy as that was. I still found it mildly amusing, especially the end about the Wolverine raping the neighbors. What has daddy done? It also kind of sounded like a pedophile wrote this though.
... Tater Tot got me.
My hopes were way too high for this post.
Seconded. Although I found it semi-humorous, I really was expecting to read a story about someone's pet wolverine haha
Raped the neighbors and ran into the woods?
Cracked me up!
You had me at Grumpy Mr. Danton, but the image of lil Tater Tot tearing the last scraps of flesh from Squirrelly Squirrel's sweater vest is what made me smile.
Sucks to be the OP. My daddy got me a FUCKLION.
This community is producing some strange shit lately.