gambling establishment etc
My Dear Wormwood:
The most alarming thing in your last report was that you reacted clumsily to an excellent beginning. When will you realize that you have much to learn? It is rare that a junior Tempter is given more than one patient, and our father below may view with extreme displeasure my decision to entrust the demoralization of the Michigan Wolverine faithful to an amateur. Please try and justify my faith in your skills. And also know that if our father below punishes me for your failures, that you shall have a generous portion of those agonies. A most generous portion.
Your judgment that the Michigan faithful are plagued by doubts is insightful. Play on those doubts! Despair awaits them on the other side of all those doubts piled high like corpses. As I mentioned, you had made an excellent beginning lurking online at mgoblog, assuming anonymous personas to plant corrosive seeds. When I was a Tempter, we did not have computers and blogs or the means to poison so many souls so easily. Do not squander this new advantage!
I wonder if you have wasted the excellent start you made as the Barking Sphincter by creating the incredible BlueFront95 persona. Your choice to attack their leader’s use of language was skillful, for the Michigan faithful pride themselves on being a cultured lot. You should have played on that pride without letting your scorn show through. How pathetic was the use of the word “hick”?! Stay focused, Tempter! Always choose subtlety over boorishness. A more factual, somewhat concerned report of their leader’s language would have eaten at them like termites in moist wood. But you misplayed the whole affair. Your clumsy engagement of them again and again caused them to rally, to look deep down, to realize that salty language from a football coach is as unusual as deceptive language from a politician. This BlueFront95 persona has now become a cliché for weak troll hatchet work and the issue of the language has logically faded, which is not to our advantage.
Remember, fear is ignorant. Do not shine light on their doubts. In the broad daylight of the rational mind, they will realize the potential for unlimited greatness that is simmering just below the surface. Let our Tempters assigned to individual players work on those unable or unwilling to rise to their leader’s exacting standards of excellence. Some will leave having rationalized their demise as being “unfair” or, to the everlasting credit of Tempter Vilegob, lacking “family values.” What a delicious and valuable innovation! Our media Tempters will ensure the public knows that it was not excellence that determined their fate, but the tyrannical hand of an uncultured despot with little understanding of “family values.”
As the Barking Sphincter, your work was more impressive, though not without flaw. You began with what appeared to be a rational critique of their leader’s extensive failings over the last year. You leveraged the brilliant work of Tempter Slugfoul, whose Project Fumble had greater than expected results, by using months of failure to swallow up years of success. It is our delight and everlasting advantage that these patients are temporal creatures. A stubbed toe today will cause them to forget years of robust health. You should have kept them focused on that throbbing toe, the split nail, the painful limp. Instead, you allowed a lack of discipline to drive you to respond to their barbs, and, in the end, you exposed the weakness of your case.
Remember out goal, Wormwood. It is not, this time, to gather souls for our father below. This is a new mission, one that surprised even me, a senior administrative official. Who could have known that our father below was an aficionado of the Ohio State Buckeyes? That our ageless struggle for souls had a parallel in a mere game? Well, so he believes and he sees the danger in the leader of the Wolverines, a drive for excellence that ignores the protests of the weak and threatens his Saturday pleasures. He has discerned that this leader must be "run out of town" or it will be too late. Do I need remind you of the consequences of failure?
Your Affectionate Uncle,
Nice work. This is one parody I would not have predicted.
So he's the one that made me lose my buzz during the nd game!
I'm gonna find im and twist his lil scarlett neck! Then I'm gonna get mad!
God help us we need the season..... NOW!
So thats what that thing does. Seems like way too much power for me to have!!!
I subscribe to Scout.........he is on his 3rd name in under a year.
Edit..........I read the blog you are talking about. That is not Zip or the Barking Sphinctor.
The same poster posted this on the Scout Premium board a few days ago trying to stir the pot there as well.
Thanks, but I don't understand who is on his 3rd name.
Thought you directing this at your buddy the barking sphinctor aka zipgoshboots.
He is on his third name at GBW. He gets read only bans because he flames and then starts a new username so he can post
Got it! I was a little slow there. The Sphincter was part of the parody, of course.
Lewis would be proud.
Screwtape? I suppose it shouldn't be suprising. I guess we've now proven that Michigan fans are well read.
If I wanted just enthusiastic, unremarkable fan enthusiasm, I'd subject myself to Rivals and GBW and the like. I doubt very much that there's another serious college football blog in the entire country whose posters mimic C.S. Lewis, and damn well at that.
Now take this piece of art and compare it to the typical Bucknuts comment.
Thanks, all. The idea of Screwtape's "father below" being a Buckeye fan and having it out for RR just cracked me up.
Clearly, Blazefire and I have the theology parodies safely underway.
Maybe you should get enrolled in your local community college's creative writing class.
The third graph just illustrates your weird obsession with me. Now I have something on record in case you or UMFootballCrazy decide to gun me down for having an opinion.
I'm sorry Blue, but whenever I see a post by you I just feel compelled to hit the down arrow.
The point is that you read my posts and you can't wait for more. Now go back to playing with your Star Wars figures.
Creative writing classes can be a big help, or a terrible hindrance. It's a matter of the professor. Last one I had, I walked out, because the professor started out by saying, "No Science Fiction or Fantasy". What a load of crap. You can't put restrictions on CREATIVE WRITING.
Where did the idea come from? Do I know you? Fascinating . . . still haven't decided whether or not I like it, but very creative, at the least.
Have you read C.S. Lewis' "The Screwtape Letters"? If not, you'd never get it and wouldn't enjoy it.
About two hours. As mentioned below, it was made much easier because I could follow the "style" of Screwtape, the senior demon in C.S. Lewis's story.
Of course it's Screwtape Letters. More what I meant was when did you get the "inspiration" to use Lewis' style regarding trolls, UM, & OSU? The reason I haven't decided if I like it is because I love Lewis and really like the original. It almost trivializes Lewis, and matters of heaven and hell, but then, maybe I need to lighten up. When you really like the original, it is hard to accept parody/adaptation.
Avon Lake . . . my wife lived in Elyria for years, part of a Christian community. Some of the leaders now live in Avon Lake, iirc, one works at a plant nearby . . . division of Firestone? Printing polymers? We're off tomorrow after church to Cleveland from Chicago to visit a brother-in-law very ill with cancer. I'll wave as we fly by on 90.
Regarding your location, it must be hard to be a Michigan fan in your neck of the woods.
Sorry! I am a huge fan of CS Lewis and a devout Christian, so I never intended disrespect to Lewis or our faith. I didn't see any issue related to using the format or Screwtape's style of speaking. I also can't lay claim to inspiration; I had a couple of hours to kill and had just reread the Screwtape Letters, so it happened.
I will wave as you drive by.
Neither offended nor insulted. My skin isn't that thin. Very interesting piece.
p.s. Mordor & orcs & avatars . . . now there's something I would be more likely to link to Columbus. But then it's hard to find good ring fellowship avatars that strike fear into the Dark Lord. And iirc, sweater vest has a strong faith so the analogies start to brak down.
I actually have one of his lectures on theology (basic) that is still quite good. It pains me.
very well done. Now who can mimic Lewis' friend, Tolkien.
+97 to you, sir.
I have genuine admiration for your writing, which is quite good, your knowledge of the source, and the inspiration that is reflected in the diary. But I also have small nagging sense of "is the subject really worthy of so much time, seriousness and effort"?
But in any case, well done.
LOL! There is a backhanded compliment if I ever heard one! Thank you.
No, it is mostly useless. I had to take a long ethics module online that had mandatory screen times and video clips to explain that things like bribes were bad and fraud was frowned upon. So I opened up another window...
I could be wrong but bluefront writes like the troll um law at the freep.
The term "troll" is so misused/overused on this message board, but I'll admit that I've been a troll of sorts in the past... I used to troll for salmon, Lake trout and Steel head off Grand Haven on our cabin cruiser. Those were wonderful summer days spent with my family listening to Tiger games and reeling in 30-plus pound monsters.
By the way, I was an award-winning journalist for a brief time after college, but I left the print industry a decade ago for the greener pastures of new media.
Never has anyone wasted so much time...to be so wrong. But keep up your auditioning for the WLA!
I knew what I was in for simply by looking at the title, and the spin you put on it did not disappoint.
Hindsight being what it is, The Screwtape Letters seems to be among the easier C.S. Lewis works to adapt, not that this was an easy feat in any respect. You should give some thought to trying something with The Great Divorce, Out of the Silent Planet, Perelandra or That Hideous Strength. It would make for a very interesting series of diaries, especially in the dead of the offseason. In any case, whether you pursue this further or not, good job. I enjoyed it.