This list is completely arbitrary and not a genuine analysis of the relative merits of state fossils.
Low-Rated Recruit Prospect disappointed by his university hostess
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RivalryScout.com - Los Angeles, CA -
Low-rated recruiting prospect John Q. Footballplayer said today he was
depressed to learn that star ratings did in fact matter. Footballplayer was
invited to campus for the recruiting weekend after top prospect Footballwinner,
his cousin, demanded it. Upon arriving on the USC campus for his recruiting
visit, Footballplayer said he was excited, among other things, to meet his
recruiting weekend hostess.
"A couple of really big name guy were there with me, and coach Kiffin
introduced them to their weekend hostesses right away. Just wonderful girls,
really. They seemed very nice. I do worry about their future back problems,
though", said Footballplayer. "Anyhow, I was really excited to meet
mine, because, well, you know… I mean, my cousin’s hostess was already leading
him towards the university hot tubs.”
So it should be obvious that when Kiffin approached Footballplayer to present his recruiting weekend hostess, Footballplayer was expecting a lot. The result, he says, left something lacking.
“I’m trying to take it in stride”, said Footballplayer. “I am an OL prospect, so maybe he felt I needed a little bulk. In reality though, it’s pretty hard to miss the message.”
Still, though, though depressed, Footballplayer is carefully reviewing his options. He stated that between his two offers, cupcakes from USC and the full-ride at Michigan State, he wasn’t sure which was more attractive.
“I’m glad I visited Michigan State first. If I took my USC Recruiting Hostess to the MSU campus, the girl I met there would’ve tried to eat it.”
Footballplayer then stopped for a moment, before suddenly announcing a plan to start a BBW/Food Fetish pornographic business in East Lansing, MI.
January 19th, 2010 at 2:34 PM | 
LOL. Nicely done.
LOL. Nicely done.
January 19th, 2010 at 2:43 PM |
Indeed. I'm at work, so I was
Indeed. I'm at work, so I was
Indeed. I'm at work, so I was hurrying it. But hopefully they will.
"This is the EMU game, not the emo game."
January 19th, 2010 at 4:34 PM |
mmmmm Word Tags and Dairy
mmmmm Word Tags and Dairy
I tend to put HTML code in my yogurt when I have it around the house.
And a nice hash tag cocktail? That gets me 3 cascading style sheets to the wind. Hoo-eee.
[/making fun of obvious, completely forgivable typos]
January 19th, 2010 at 2:34 PM |
I lol'd
I lol'd
It's gold, Jerry! GOLD!
January 19th, 2010 at 3:03 PM |
Personally,
Personally,
I would have gone with an overweight, sloppy co-ed and a corresponding picture...but overall, very nicely done, sir.
January 19th, 2010 at 3:08 PM |
Ah, but see... you expected
Ah, but see... you expected
Ah, but see... you expected that.
"This is the EMU game, not the emo game."
January 19th, 2010 at 4:19 PM |
Exactly!
Exactly!
When I saw there was a picture I assumed it was going to be some ugly looking girl in a photoshopped USC uniform. The cupcakes were a surprise that took the post from "meh, predictable" to gold. Well done.
"Nobody cares what you think!"
January 19th, 2010 at 3:13 PM |
It worthy of be placed on
It worthy of be placed on
It worthy of being placed on Onion.com
Nicely done.
January 19th, 2010 at 3:39 PM |
my only comment: I think a
my only comment: I think a
my only comment: I think a package of ho-ho's would have been more amusing. Otherwise nicely done, sir!
[/neversatisfied]
January 19th, 2010 at 4:46 PM |
Good stuff, and I think you
Good stuff, and I think you
Good stuff, and I think you might be giving MSU hostesses a bit less credit than they deserve - they probably wouldn't eat the cupcakes, but instead bury it in the hopes that a cupcake tree would grow and there would be more sugary, sweet snackcakes than they could ever dream of.
January 19th, 2010 at 11:22 PM |
that fits perfectly with the
that fits perfectly with the
that fits perfectly with the fact that the MSU hostesses selected an ag school for college!
'M-Burns', I'll never have better facial hair than this...
January 19th, 2010 at 6:13 PM |
Might not be as hot as Kiff's hostesses
Might not be as hot as Kiff's hostesses
but hey, at least there is cream in the middle....right guys?
What the Hell. -Jack Burton
January 19th, 2010 at 6:58 PM |
After reading this
After reading this
After reading this, Charlie Weis committed to USC.
January 19th, 2010 at 7:57 PM |
But at least she would have
But at least she would have
But at least she would have been a tan fat chick. With fake blonde hair too.
January 19th, 2010 at 10:36 PM |
"the girl I met there would’ve tried to eat it"...
"the girl I met there would’ve tried to eat it"...
That was the icing on the (cup)cake!
nice job
The reason for the world, is to make us long for HOME.
January 20th, 2010 at 1:54 AM |
That avatar is awesome!
That avatar is awesome!
That avatar is awesome!
January 20th, 2010 at 12:09 AM |
Funny enough to earn my first
Funny enough to earn my first
Funny enough to earn my first post! Now I'm kind of hungry...
January 20th, 2010 at 1:25 PM |
"He stated that between his
"He stated that between his
"He stated that between his two offers, cupcakes from USC and the full-ride at Michigan State, he wasn’t sure which was more attractive." That line made me cry I was laughing so hard, well done.
"what the hell is wrong with u?" "me? Nothing! you on the other hand, have a bullet inside of you!"
January 20th, 2010 at 4:59 PM |
"take it in stride"
"take it in stride"
I was expecting more food puns:
January 20th, 2010 at 8:13 PM |
Funny, although it'd be even
Funny, although it'd be even
Funny, although it'd be even better if the guy had a real-sounding name.
January 21st, 2010 at 12:10 AM |
MSU has hostesses?
MSU has hostesses?
I'm thinking more like Ho-Ho's...
I believe the Spartans refer to them as Heifers...
I have seen them graze - it ain't pretty...
Wolverine Nation Unite!
LOL. Nicely done.
Oh, hopefully one of the Mods will clean up those MS Word tags at the beginning of the dairy. To avoid this, in the future, copy everything from Word into NotePad (or the like) to remove all of the background formatting that word processing applications use. Then, paste everything, from NotePad, into the diary text box (on MGoBlog).
Nobody home...