this week in unintentionally grim-sounding recruiting headlines
Kevin Grady's Big Adventure: Part III (the finale)
This is the final installment of the Kevin Grady story, and also the final time this feature will be posted in the MGoBlog diary section - beginning with the next edition you will be able to find this (with pretty pictures and more profanity!) at http://wolverineliberationarmy.blogspot.com, the vanguard of the Rodriguez Revolution.
MyFairGrady: coach, what do I have to do to get back on the team?
WizardOfRod: I just don't know Kevin. If I let you back, and believe me, I want to, then I'll be ravaged by the press!
MyFairGrady: thats bullshit coach mcguff threw up on me
WizardofRod: I'm not sure I can take that type of chance. I'm new!
MyFairGrady: a chance?
***The Michigan Dance Team has entered the room***
MyFairGrady: if u change ur mind
im the first in line
im still free
DanceTeam: take a chance take a chance
MyFairGrady: if you need me, let me know
If you got no place to go when you're
If you're all alone when the pretty birds have flown
Honey I'm still free
Take a chance on me
Gonna do my very best and it ain't no
If you put me to the test, if you let me try
WizardofRod: I do enjoy musicals.
MyFairGrady: fuck yea u do
WizardofRod: Well Kevin, this is a tough decision
WizardofRod: I’ve been cheated by you
since I don’t know when
So I made up my mind, it must come to an end
Look at me now, will I ever learn?
I don’t know how but I suddenly lose
There’s a fire within my soul
Just one look and I can hear a bell
One more look and I forget everything,
Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My my, just how much I’ve missed you
Yes, I’ve been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go?
Mamma mia, now I really know,
My my, I could never let you go.
***TheBarwisAidMan has broken through the office wall***
TheBarwisAidMan: WHAT IN THE FUCK IS THIS PUSSY SHIT
MyFairGrady: hey coach whats up
/puts down feather boa
TheBarwisAidMan: WHATINTHEFUCKWHATINTHEFUCK – PUNCH EACH OTHER IN THE BALLS RIGHT NOW
***MyFairGrady has punched WizardofRodin the nuts***
***WizardofRod has punched MyFairGrady in the nuts***
TheBarwisAidMan: GRADY, YOU GO DEADLIFT THE CRANE THAT FELL OVER IN THE STADIUM PARKING LOT WHEN I PUNCHED IT AND KEEP DOING IT TILL I SAY STOP
TheBarwisAidMan: RODRIGUEZ, GET YOUR JIGGLY ASS DOWN TO THE WEIGHT ROOM AND GIVE ME 100 BURPEES TILL THE GAY IS OUT OF YOU
***TheBarwisAidMan is staring wistfully out the hole in the wall to the lonely Ann Arbor sky***
THERE WAS SOMETHING IN THE AIR THAT NIGHT
THE STARS WERE BRIGHT FERNANDO
THEY WERE SHINING THERE FOR YOU AND ME
I forgot to take your name off the Dex Fan Club mailing list - in the future, I'll make sure that posts from me are not automatically forwarded to your email and printed out for you to read.
But please, I would hate to lose your business - can you offer me some tips? I've seen your posts, and I think you are hilarious.