Journey through the desert

Submitted by MichIOE01 on

Due to the discussion in other threads about what is and isn’t an appropriate diary entry, I thought I’d post my actual diary here as an example.

Nov 22 – I set off into the desert today.  Never in my life have I entered this wasteland so early.  Normally, I wait until after Jan 1, but alas, this year the normally friendly city grew hostile.  Will I be able to survive this much longer in barren wilderness? 

Jan 8 – I can still see the city.  How can I have I been wandering this long and still be within sight of civilization?  I saw my cousin Penn State getting beaten by Goliath, now coming to join me in the desert.  I witnessed as Utah, who beat out me in a sloppy ugly fight, rose to destroy the Sabanites.  I watched as the black sheep of the family, Ohio State, got Charlie Browned again.  He was so close to making contact with that ball before Lucy pulled it away and he fell again.  Now the whole family is in exile until we atone for our sins. 

Feb 4 – I’ve discovered an oasis!  Up to this point I’ve been living off of whatever scraps of info could be found.  Rumor and innuendo have kept me alive, but have left me far from satisfied.  In this new place, called Signing Day, there is all the info I can handle!  I shall gorge myself on these recruits.  Oh no!  2 of the more fulfilling snacks have left for other camps!  But I needed more DT!  How will I survive the rest of my journey, as well as my upcoming battles in the cities next year and beyond?  Overall I am satisfied with this Signing Day oasis, I just wish there was some female companionship instead of all these high school boys…

Mar 20 – I’ve had little to carry me through since the Signing Day oasis.  That feast satisfied my, but I grow hungry again.  I’ve been living off the recruiting cactuses occasional rumor beetle.  Please let me find a sign of life soon.

Apr 11 – Another oasis!  This one is called Spring Practice.  I shall gorge myself again.  The offense fulfills me; however I’m a bit leery of the defense.  Maybe it would be better if key ingredients weren’t missing.  No matter, I shall have my fill here and keep moving on.

June 1 – I’m starting to lose my mind.  I’ve had nothing of substance for weeks.  If not for the recruiting cactuses, rumor beetles, and abundant (though unsatisfying) speculation fruit, I’d surely be dead by now.  Perhaps death would be preferable to life in this wasteland.

July 4 – I’ve found a small pool.  It’s not an oasis, but it has saved me from the brink of insanity.  It is called RELOGD.  It is a wonderful place of chili, ribs, beer, and jello shots.  It has helped me to reconnect with my past, and strengthen my spirit for the rest of my journey.  But why were there so many guys with no shirts?

July 16 – I can see it!  I can see the city once again!  It is still a long way off, maybe a little under 2 months, but at least it’s within sight.  I only hope that I have earned my penance, and can triumph in my battles this year. 

Comments

david from wyoming

July 16th, 2009 at 3:36 PM ^

Summer is a great time to pick up new hobbies. I've started dry curing pork and home brewing beer. I know we all miss football, but you can make it.

david from wyoming

July 16th, 2009 at 3:50 PM ^

My final goal is to home cure a pork leg into prosciutto, but that takes at least a year of hanging time. To learn I bought a whole pork loin, cut half off, trimmed it, mixed up a salt/spice rub and now the loin is sitting in the salt mixture. The loin is sitting in salt for at least another week to give the salt time to diffuse entirely throughout the five or six pounds of meat, then it's hanging time for two to three weeks.

I have yet to go through the entire process, but it all seems really simple. It just takes time and some experience to how how much salt to use and how long to wait.

david from wyoming

July 16th, 2009 at 4:08 PM ^

Um, I guess so, but salt curing has been around since humans have started hunting. If you bring home 100 pounds of meat, and it will spoil in two days, either you eat 50 pounds a meat a day, watch most of your hard work get eaten by nasties, or you find a way to preserve it. If you pack a cut of meat full of salt it strongly inhibits bacterial grow and you can leave in sitting in the back of the cave for as long as needed...or until you hit a dry spell in hunting and you can use your reserves and tide you over until successful again.

Food preservation is one of the key moments in human history. I figured it was important enough to set us apart from lower evolutionary species, so why not give it a try myself?

His Dudeness

July 16th, 2009 at 3:39 PM ^

In other news which snack crackers are most tasty? Cheese nips, Cheeze-its or Goldfish. In order to keep variables down we are talking all original flavors, none if this fandangled white cheddar bullshit.