"The face of the operation is Briatore (referred to exclusively in the film by his colleagues and angry, chanting detractors as "Flavio"), an anthropomorphic radish who spends most of his time at QPR plotting to fire all of the managers."
Congrats! You're the new head coach at the University of Michigan! It's a wonderful university with a rich academic and athletic history. The product on the field was a tire-fire in 2014, but you know that. Hopefully you're good enough at "coaching football" even if you don't know "The Victors" yet.
You should know that there are 2 parts to coaching Michigan - being a good football coach and knowing how to bullshit/placate your base. I'm hoping you're proficient at the former and that's why you're here. In terms of the latter:
You'll get asked about being a "Michigan Man". Here's how you should answer that: 'When Coach Schembechler said that "A Michigan Man should coach Michigan" he was referring to a basketball coach shopping his services. Why anyone would want to leave this great university is beyond me. I'm here because I want to be here. I'm here to help make this the greatest football program in the country and I'll put 100% into that every day. I don't know the words to The Victors yet, but I know I'll hear them after every Touchdown and Turnover, so I'll be hearing it often. My staff will start every meeting with it and we will embody everything that this great university stands for.' (If you've got a tie to Michigan history, use it here. Say you're from the same area of WV as Yost... sigh... or if you coached at Miami like Bo, or something)
You'll get asked about former players. There are some high profile ones who are varying levels of happy with the program. To them you should say: "Any former player is welcome to my office any time I'm not with the team or preparing for a game. I'm creating an "Alumni Day" every fall when we welcome back any and every former football letterman during a game, in addition to the flag football game as part of our spring game. If any former letterman wants to attend a game, give me a call. Between myself and the AD we'll get you to the games that you need to go to. If you have a legacy recruit - a son, younger brother, cousin - no questions asked they will be offered a preferred walk-on spot here at Michigan. We have to make decisions that are best for the program and if we, as a staff, have scholarships available we'd love to offer them to your legacy.
You'll get asked about wearing a headset/coaches in the booth/on the field. Say that you have to balance communicating with your players and your staff and if you ever have an issue with either you'll change your behavior.
You'll get asked if this is an elite job. Answer "Yes. Winningest program (hopefully still :-( ), The Big House, glorious history and the best damn uniforms in sports. Michigan has all the tools to be an elite program and I'll to my best to win every single game we play every year."
You'll get asked about the B1G being Big tehhhhhnnnn "The B1G has a glorious history in football, but as a conference we need to do better in our non conference slate. There's no reason why every program in this conference can't commit the resources and personnel to be the best conference in the country. We are doing that at Michigan and hope everyone else does as well."
You'll get asked about Michigan State - say that you've got all the respect in the world for them, they've been doing great recently, and that you want to beat them by 20 every year.
You'll get asked about Ohio State - say that you've got all the respect in theworld for them, they've been doing great recently, and that you want to beat them by 50 every year.
You'll get asked a bunch of other bullshit. Realize that you could go 14-0 and win every game by 20. There will be Michigan fans who are upset because you didn't win by 30, or didn't score a point-a-minute, or your QB didn't "look" right, or you weren't as angry as they remember Bo being, or you yelled to much, or because you said that Zingermans is delicious but overpriced.
Don't worry about these people.
Worry about coaching the team, keeping them healthy, punting not-like-a-dinosaur, and winning some games. I hear that fixes everything.
After watching a December basketball game paint Brooklyn Maize, I was inspired to pass along a thank you.
It’s well known that Michigan has the largest living alumni base of any university. There are many of us who are proud alums and who never have to “justify” our fanhood. Being a Michigan fan came easy to me. The son of two alums (and native Michiganders) I was almost pre-destined to head to Ann Arbor after I graduated high school, despite having grown up outside Chicago. I was lucky and worked hard and managed to go to Michigan and graduate in 2009. There are many who aren’t as lucky as I was. To those of you who are fans of Michigan despite not having a degree: Thank you. You may have been questioned, demeaned even for supporting College Football’s most winning program.
Some may call you “Walmart Wolverine” in a derogatory manner because you choose to support Michigan. But guess what – Michigan doesn’t succeed without the support of everyone: Students, Alumni, Faculty, and (as Fielding Yost called them) “Friends of the University”. It’s true. Michigan Stadium doesn’t get built without non-alumni fans.
From page 190 of Soderstrom’s The Big House* “No one: no student, no alumnus, and no friend of the university would be “giving" anything to the athletic department. Rather, the athletic department would sell a bond at a given amount of interest and pay back all the money over time… it had always been a Michigan athletic tradition that no attempt would be made to secure funds from the state, like the school in East Lansing had done for its new stadium.” Yost needed investors to build the Big House, and it turns out that the first bond letter had provided a “disappointing alumni response” (Page 318)
After bonds were extended to anyone who wished to buy them, not just alumni, “by early 1927, the whole initial issue, 2000 bonds, was sold.” Yost actually angered some alumni (and students, who felt that their seats were terrible even then) by making sure that there were new seating blocks in Michigan Stadium that were specifically NOT for alumni. Yost’s appeal was as such: “’This is a State University – not a privately endowed institution. Ownership of this institution is vested not in our students, faculty, and alumni – but in the people whose taxes make it possible’ Yost would never tire of making this point” (Page 194). I’ll take Yost's point one step further – It’s not just the taxes or the tuition, but ANY support of Michigan makes you a “real” fan. Maybe you can’t afford tuition and thus aren’t an alum. Maybe you don’t live in Michigan and don’t pay Michigan state taxes. Maybe you can’t afford season tickets (which are no longer $2.50 per game like they were in the 1920s), maybe all you do is own some apparel and visit MGoBlog – both of which provide support to Michigan no matter how small. The next time someone asks you if you went to Michigan, just remember that it was fans like you (not just alums!) who gave us the greatest football stadium in the world. And remember that there can be a little inferiority complex around East Lansing, after all they needed money from the state to build their stadium.
*As an aside if you need a stocking stuffer or just a great read on Michigan’s history, I couldn’t recommend Soderstrom’s book more. Click through the MGoLink to Amazon and order it!
I’ve been a very vocal opponent of all the Uniformz that we’ve seen the football team break out over the years, and since we’ve seen some hockey successes (and failures) and there’s now talk about basketball “special” unis, and well… I don’t have a lawn, but I do have a suggestion.
Many have noted that we’ve got history and tradition that very few schools can match. With the demand for more revenue from the AD (for new… everythings) some of us have accepted “alternate” jerseys as inevitable. I think that we can have alternate jerseys and they CAN be successful and they CAN look good. Remember, it’s not about being new, fresh, etc. it’s about selling more jerseys. Best way to do that without looking like clowns? History.
Home Blues are untouchable. The UTL jerseys sold well, and looked good on the players, but frankly the ones for sale to the public look awful. Sleeves are too long/too many stripes. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
HOWEVA, I’d be fine with Adidas tweaking the road jersey just about annually, it's changed a bunch over the years. I didn’t mind the look of last year’s Sugar Bowl jersey, but I didn’t like that it was our 6thlook in the same year.
ALSO, we should have some historical, REAL, throwback alternates that can be in the rotation for road/bowl games. DB wants to sell other jerseys? Offer these bad boys and wear them:
Bam. Problem solved. There are white alternates for our next 3 years. They even look like Michigan Jerseys! If Brandon thinks he can sell jerseys because we wore them when we were team “coconut shrimp”, he better believe that we can sell the jerseys we wore when we won the ’97 MNC.
This came up in the BBall Uniformz thread http://mgoblog.com/mgoboard/basketball-uniformsz-watch-sunday-against-io..., but we’ve worn some good ones in the past. The Fab 5 shorts. The ’89 large block M Michigan blues, etc. Bam, we’ve got 5 basketball jerseys to sell.
- why aren't these in the rotation and for sale?
We’ve tried enough combos here that we should know what works. Try a new one occasionally (the Big Chill ones that didn’t have giant Arbys logos looked OK) but remember what you’ve got to draw from. I for one have ALWAYS wanted a “tournament” jersey with the script Michigan.
If the AD wants to sell jerseys, why aren’t they selling those!?!?!
Block Ms in every color worked, we’ve got the Rangers style Maize, plus the Red Era arc Michigan.
We’ve got good options to choose from in all 3 major sports that we've worn in the past. Change up a jersey a sport (bball change the blues one year, hockey try a new Maize, etc.) to see if we hit a new combo that works, but enough of the special edition one-offs that look like nothing we've ever worn. Let’s use some of these good looking old jerseys as alternates. I'd bet the AD will sell a few too.
Yes, that sucked. Guess what?
It's time to get over it and move on. Our 8-4 football team lost to teams with a combined 45-3 record. All of our losses were away from home. We are/were a good, not great, football team, just like most of us thought coming into the year. We still get to watch this team play on New Years Day (Ohio State already made bowl shirts for their game: http://mgoblog.com/mgoboard/shane-morris-puts-game-perspective). There's a good chance that we'll play in the Capital One Bowl, which brings up some great memories:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSTp0frDDWo&playnext=1&list=PLD038920368D35B6D&feature=results_video (no embed available, it's Jamar Adams vs. TebowTime)
What's all this layin' around shit!?!?
All is not lost. We've got a top 3 Basketball team to cheer for at Crisler (http://mgoblog.com/mgoboard/m-basketball-3-usa-today). We've got a very talented hockey team that hopefully figures itself out soon. In football, we've got an extremely talented recruiting class coming in, playmakers all over, a few all B1G players, and we'll see some Michigan players drafted in the NFL.
Yes, losing to those dirty cheaters from Columbus hurts, and it should. Next year we've got them in our house and let's right the ship. We'll return a bunch of starters, plug in talented youngsters all over, and play again. Remember, Hoke still hasn't lost in the Big House. He's got a chance to have 20 wins in his first 2 years as coach. That's not too shabby. We're recruiting like gangbusters and set up to be a national contender for years to come. Until then, enjoy this team. Enjoy the Bowl. Enjoy hockey at Yost. And get ready to have a top Basketball team. As a 25 year old, I'm not really sure how to handle Michigan being good at basketball. I'm looking forward to it though.
With all the "Denard sucks, lolz" and "Denard can't play QB" and "That wasn't one of his best games" coming out of the internet, I thought we could take a look at where Denard is for some pretty awesome milestones, NCAA wide, and Michigan wide:
He's already got these records under his belt:
—NCAA (all divisions)
- Only 1500-yard passing/1500-yard rushing season
- Rushing yards by a QB (season)
- Division I FBS 200-yard passing/200-yard rushing regular season games (career and season)
- Rushing yards by a QB (single game and career)
- Total offense (single-season)
- Big Ten Offensive Player of the Week awards (career)
- Silver Football Award Winner
- Total offense (single-game)
- Rushing yards on the road (single game)
- Passing yards (single half)
- 200-yard rushing games (career)
- Notre Dame Stadium longest run from scrimmage
In addition to being Michigan's all time total yardage leader, beating ND, MSU, OSU, and winning a BCS Bowl in 2.5 years as a starter, let's see how he's doing elsewhere:
Single Game Michigan Records:
Total Offense: Denard has the top 8 and 9 of the top 10 games from a total offense perspective. John Navarre's 368 yards against Iowa in 2003 is the only game record that isn't his.
Passing Yards: He sits at #9, #10, and 20.
Passing TDs: Tied for the record (with many others) with 4TD passes in a single game. (ND 2011)
Rushing Yards: Numbers 5 and 7 belong to #16, with the 2010 ND and Purdue games.
Career Michigan Records:
Passing Yards: With 6195 Yards so far, he trails only Henne, Navarre, and Grbac, with Elvis in his sights less than 300 yards away.
Passing TDs: He's #4 again behind the same 3. The 22TDs he needs to pass Grbac here might be harder to do before he graduates.
Rushing Yards: At 4129 Denard trails only Hart, Thomas, Morris, and Wheatley. He needs 912 yards to pass Hart, but as of right now Hart has an extra 439 carries to his record.
Rushing TDs: Again trailing only Wheatley and the A Train he's now tied with Mike Hart with 41. If he can get 15 more he'll pass Thomas and be the highest in the official record books. *
*Willie Heston's 71 TDs from 1901-1904 aren't included in the official database because the pre-1949 stats are incomplete.
Career NCAA Records:
The big one, QB Rushing Yards. Pat White's 4480 is in reach 351 yards away. Denard has 5 more B1G games, and he'll need to average 70.2 per game to have this record by the time the clock hits zeros in Columbus.
Criticize his decision making, throwing off his back foot, etc. but to say he hasn't been awesome to watch the past few years and that he hasn't had a remarkable career... I'd respectfully disagree.
Every year lots of new people find this corner of the internet, and some struggle to find all the awesome information stored here. First, take a second and scroll up and look under the winged helmet - there are a lot of very useful links. I'm putting some of them here because lots of people have no idea that they exist, and we've seen tons of threads (Where can I watch!?!?) created because... well because people don't know that a sticky thread exists for that.
Not sure who Tacopants is? Slow on the other inside jokes? want to know why Brian has a MS in Computer engineering? There's your answer.
- "Tacopants"? Tacopants is Jason Avant's eleven-foot tall imaginary friend. Chad Henne spent much of 2005 hitting him between the numbers, which are unfortunately eight feet off the ground and made of dreams. Blessed with infinite eligibility and the ability to sneak on and off the field without alerting the referees -- made of dreams, remember -- Tacopants has taken a lesser role in the offense as Henne matures but still pops up at inopportune times. The term has its genesis in this post.
That's stuff about the guy who runs/owns/is MGoBlog. Think he's betrayed his ethics? Have a tip/correction? Email is a way better way to do it than a dickish thread.
Want to advertise: Talk to Seth.
Can't start a thread? Not sure if "Denard" is a bad thread title? What's on topic? This isn't Nam, there are rules.
Guide to eating and drinking. Zingerman's is good, but overpriced. Maize and Blue is better. /shots fired
Stuck in a car on a Saturday? http://mgoblog.com/mgoboard/listening-gameanywhere
WHERE CAN I WATCH THE GAME:http://mgoblog.com/mgoboard/um-friendly-bar-locations-across-us-and-elsewhere
Stop making threads about it.
Hope this has been a helpful and informative little diary. Now go enjoy wife day and the rest of the bye week.