Intro Paragraph

    Every week, I like to have an intro paragraph to set the tone before linking to the boxscore. I have to admit, I was worried earlier this week that I wouldn’t have anything to write about due to this being the first time we’ve played Nebraska in a conference game. I was going to go with a story about my Grandma’s neighbor-boy, Nebras, until fate intervened.

    During the week, the B1G coaches’ photo was shown and discussed on this here MGoBlog. I made a comment about not wanting to sit next to Brady Hoke on an airplane, because based on the way he was sitting in the photo, he’d take the armrest the whole flight. Wednesday, I took a flight to Colorado. It was a regional jet, with two seats on either side of the aisle. Sitting next to me was a nice lady, and her cat! Well, if there is one thing this blog is known for, it’s tremendous football analysis. If there are two things it’s known for, it’s tremendous football analysis and cat photos. Clearly, our feline overlords were trying to tell me something with this amazing coincidence. And that something, if I’m not mistaken, is that this diary NEEDS MOAR CAT PHOTOS!

Not the cat that sat next to me and took my armrest

Link: http://www.mgoblue.com/sports/m-footbl/stats/111911aaa.html

Burst of Impetus

• We got out to a 10-0 lead, and I started thinking, maybe we can beat them like they beat MSU. I was thinking of a 17 to 21 point margin of victory. We were the favorites in the game. Sometimes the favorites actually win, that’s why they are called “favorites.” When Neb scored to make it 10-10, I thought, oh well, I guess it’s going to be a barn-burner. Then, Neb fumbled the opening kickoff of the 2^ndhalf and we turned it into a woodshed game. It’s pretty great when the outcome exceeds your wildest imagination. 28 points? Are you freakin’ kidding me?
• In the first half, with us up 10-7, Denard threw an INT on a screen pass. I’m starting to think he’s too short to throw middle screens. Anyway, the defense responded with a Kovacs TFL, a Van Bergen pass deflection, and Demens and Martin tackling a WR on a screen for minimal yardage. It wasn’t quite the three-play sequence that bursted impetus against Illinois, but it reminded me of that. Neb had to settle for a 51 yard FG. Our defense basically said, we’ve got our O’s back.
• Denard maintained our momentum several times by scrambling. One such play caused Spielman to say, “We’re seeing burst,” which totally confused me. Does that statement go in this section, the Filthy section, or the Derpan Meyer section?

Trash Cans Full of Dirt

• Jake Ryan made yet another ankle tackle. Jake Ryan hates ankles like Taylor Lewan hates donkeys.
• Neb was 3 for 13 on 3^rddown, and 0 for 2 on 4^thdown.
• The D held Burkhead to 36 yards net rushing. I thought that guy got 100 on everybody.
• Kovacs lead us in tackles like Brian suggested, but he only got 7 because our defense was never on the field.
• 24 players showed up in the defensive stats. Floyd Simmons was tied for 5^thin tackles with 3, because our defense was never on the field. Hollowell also had 3 tackles. If I’m not mistaken, those guys are primarily special teamers. When your special teams players are showing up in your top 7 tacklers, you know your defense was never on the field.
• Six TFLs were spread amongst six defenders, with Van Bergen leading the way with 2.
• Six passes were broken up, including one by J. Van Slyke, who has some wicked eye black.

Filthy

• Denard was 11 for 18 passing for 180 yards and 2 TDs.
• He ran 23 times for 83 yards and 2 TDs.
• Touss gained 138 yards on 29 carries, and had 2 TDs.
• We scored a lot of TDs and ran a lot of plays.
• First downs were 24 for M, 11 for Neb.
• Total offensive plays were 80 for Michigan to 54 for Neb. This was a dominating performance. WE ARE GOOD!

Big John R. Studd Referee Section

• It was D. Lipski’s crew this week. He seemed a bit talkative, but otherwise they did a nice job.
• We got 4 first downs from penalties to Neb’s zero. Yeah, the refs did a fine job.
• We committed 5 penalties to Neb’s 8, costing us 45 yards and Neb 73.
• In a closer game, the roughing the punter penalty on Neb could give Big Red fans cause to complain, but I’m sure Hagerup’s big toe is going to have one nasty bruise on it tomorrow. Was that Oscar-worthy? It drew a flag, which is fine by me, because I root for Michigan.

San Diego49ers

• Gallon was again the leading receiver with 3 grabs for 34 yards and a TD.
• Odoms had 2 catches for 47 yards and a TD. For whatever reason, we are a better team with him in there.

Hexadecimal Points

• UofM had American flag patches on our jerseys. I don’t recall hearing what the reason for this was. I did miss the last 20 minutes of game commentary because Dad called. It’s nice when you have a 21 point lead and can turn the sound down and talk to Dad about the game and sitting next to a cat lady on a plane.
• It appeared that this was a pom-pom game like the UTL game. The pom-poms seemed much more ferocious at night.
• 7A Brandin Hawthorne had 2 tackles and 2H Matt Cavanaugh had 1.

Derpan Meyer

• Derpan Meyer was asked about the Meyer to OSU rumors. He denied there was an offer, (wink, wink) and denied he had accepted it (wink, wink.) While that may be true, if Luke Fickell shows up next week wearing a black suit and a fedora, I will  sh!t myself.
• Lee Corso would like to apologize for the profanity used in the previous bullet.
• While making his pre-game picks, Corso said, Ahhh, F%$* it. Herbie (and I) could only laugh. Midway through the first quarter, Corso interrupted our game to read a hastily written apology. I don’t think ESPN can (or should) get fined for spontaneous verbal gaffes like that, but what happened to the dump button?
• Dave Pasch, Urban Meyer, Chris Spielman and Quint Kessenich did the game for ESPN. At this point, shouldn’t Dave consider getting an apartment in Ann Arbor?
• Early in the game, Neb broke up a pass. One of the announcers said, “this is what Nebraska does best.” The thought that popped into my mind was, “get away with pass interference?” After two such plays (including yet another jersey pull), Roundtree caught a deep ball and Neb complained that he interfered. Can’t have it both ways, guys.
• After Denard threw an interception, Derpan Meyer said he would take him out. Spielman said he would leave him in because of his game-breaking abilities. Denard responded by leading a nice TD drive. Maybe osu should hire Spielman as their next coach instead of Urban.
• The announcers thought Kovacs was acting a little when injured to slow down Neb’s hurry up offense. For the record, he stayed out for the duration of that series, so I don’t think he was faking. Screw you Urban Paschman for suggesting such a thing.

We Haz Special Teams

• Net yards per kickoff were 44.5 for Neb and 44.8 for Michigan. Basically that’s a push, except we didn’t fumble two of our returns.
• Net yards per punt were slightly in Neb’s favor, 40.5 to 34, with 2 Neb punts inside the 20.
• Gibbons made his season long FG of 42 yards, and then missed one of 42 yards after the game had been decided. Needless to say, this is light years improved over last year.
• Dileo picked up a first down on a fake FG.
• Josh Furman blocked a punt. The Neb punter bobbled the snap, but Furman still had to get there and he did.

Opponent Bullets

• Neb TE Jake Long was called for a holding penalty. ~110,000 Michigan fans thought, “TE Jake Long, we cheered for Jake Long, we knew Jake Long, Jake Long was a friend of ours. TE Jake Long, you’re no Jake Long.”
• Neb dropped several passes, just like Brian said they would. Thanks, Brian.
• Even though Neb KR Kenny Bell fumbled a kick return, you have to give him credit for having a tremendous afro.
• Lavonte David had 17 tackles. I could have sworn it was in the 30s. They have 1 special defensive player and 10 meh guys. It was clear they were missing Crick.

Random, as Yet Unnamed, Bullets

• The time of possession was 41:13 for Michigan, and 18:39 for Neb. I’m in the TOP is an effect of playing well, not a cause camp, but whichever camp you’re in, 41 minutes is awesome.
• There were several interesting matchups, including Denard vs. Dennard, Martin vs. Martinez, and Burkhead vs. VanBergenhead (a boy can dream, right?) Nebraska’s defense starts a “Steinkulher” which set up a great “Steinkuhler vs. Pooper Cooler” matchup when they played the buckeyes.
• The scoreboards weren’t working. This lead to a delay of game penalty on our offense that could have been an important momentum changer. Fortunately, we still ended up scoring, but I want to see more working scoreboards and less Dave Brandon on the sidelines. Dave, your job is getting the facilities right. Leave the sideline stuff to the coaches. The fans counted down the play clock several times to help out Denard and the offense.
• While we were beating Neb to hand the Legends Division to MSU, Sparty was playing Indiana for the Old Bronze Spittoon. I finally understand the bronze, green and black unis that sparty broke out as their throw-up jerseys. It’s an homage to their key cross-division rival, Indiana. Going forward, it’s really unfair that they get to beat up on Indiana, the worst team historically in the B1G, while we get to play osu every year.
• UofM and Neb are 1 and 4 in all-time wins, which makes this victory a little bit sweeter.
• Lloyd Brady was shown several times. On a couple occasions, I could swear he was dancing. Yes, it was that kind of day.
• When I think of NU, I think of Northwestern. Since they have B1G seniority over Nebraska, they should get the NU acronym. That leaves either UNL or Neb for Nebraska. UNL makes them sound like University of Michigan – Flint, i.e., not the flagship university of Nebraska. (How did flag ships get associated with universities?) That leaves Neb, which reminds me of the Yiddish word, Nebbish. Merriam-Webster’s definition of nebbish is: “a timid, meek, or ineffectual person.” After a 45-17 spanking at the hands of MEEECHIGAN, that seems appropriate.
• I wrote half of this before I even looked at the boxscore. This game just provided sooooo much material. I haz a happee.