"How to increase your coaching Salary" - by Urban Meyer
Since there seemed to be some interest in why a ND fan doesn't like the idea of Urban Meyer becoming their head coach I decided to post this. I didn't write this myself, but I think it does a good job of summarizing my overall feelings on Urban Meyer, and hopefully ND's. Don't think the OP will be too worried about the repost. Obviously it is filled with sarcasm but the links and timeline do paint a picture.
Urban Meyer's Memoirs August 3rd 2009
Part 1 Declare different school as "Dream Job" Dec. 2008
http://archives.chicagotribune.com/2...-dot--ar0jan07 Not much has to be said but it needs to be a clear quote that isn't detailed being very subjective and open to interpretation. The shorter the better, makes it easier to put in a newspaper headline or espn ticker. Try something like "XXX is my dream school" or " I would leave here only to coach at XXX" (where XXX is the "dream" school, XXX cannot be the same school your coaching at.) The higher the profile of the dream school the more your comment will be taken seriously.
Part 2 Win support from faculty and/or AD May 2009
http://www.gatorsports.com/article/2...deserves-raiseThis is a crucial step, for the plan to succeed. At least 2 months should pass before moving to this part, be patient let all those blowhards in the media do all the talking, let them earn a paycheck for once. Let your current school come to you, so that you don't look guilty of anything, that way it will look like you actually deserved it. The AD (the athletic director (your boss)) is the perfect tool for this. He can go and do all the work while your "recruiting" in jamaica, thats like eating cake and Ice Cream at the same time!!. The family is always an asset in this part; if possible make it look like no one has eaten for a few days in photo opportunities with the press. It can't hurt your chances.
Part 3 Deny you will actually leave, while negotiating new contract July 2009
(Or maybe this had something to do with it)
http://www.gatorsports.com/article/2...tre-Dame-Ever-Do not move on to this step until the University your working at comes to you with an increase in salary. You are the one holding them by the balls, who cares if the school is going through its toughest years economically, this is what you have been working for, don't get weak now. This is statement is going to be similar to Part 1 but in the opposite direction, now don't forget you need to DENY actually leaving the university you are employed at, otherwise all the past month's work will be for nothing. So keep it short again, but make sure that the statement is definite and not open to interpretation.
Part 4 Ink new contract Aug 2009
http://rivals.yahoo.com/ncaa/footbal...v=ap&type=lgns All that hard work is now paying off, this is the easiest step you just have to put your John Hancock (Signature (your name in cursive)) on the dotted line that your agent points too. Later when this whole coaching thing is done you can write this all in some book about yourself, and will make even more money for that 6th house in italy you always wanted.
Urban Meyer's Memoirs August 3rd 2009
Part 1 Declare different school as "Dream Job" Dec. 2008
http://archives.chicagotribune.com/2...-dot--ar0jan07 Not much has to be said but it needs to be a clear quote that isn't detailed being very subjective and open to interpretation. The shorter the better, makes it easier to put in a newspaper headline or espn ticker. Try something like "XXX is my dream school" or " I would leave here only to coach at XXX" (where XXX is the "dream" school, XXX cannot be the same school your coaching at.) The higher the profile of the dream school the more your comment will be taken seriously.
Part 2 Win support from faculty and/or AD May 2009
http://www.gatorsports.com/article/2...deserves-raiseThis is a crucial step, for the plan to succeed. At least 2 months should pass before moving to this part, be patient let all those blowhards in the media do all the talking, let them earn a paycheck for once. Let your current school come to you, so that you don't look guilty of anything, that way it will look like you actually deserved it. The AD (the athletic director (your boss)) is the perfect tool for this. He can go and do all the work while your "recruiting" in jamaica, thats like eating cake and Ice Cream at the same time!!. The family is always an asset in this part; if possible make it look like no one has eaten for a few days in photo opportunities with the press. It can't hurt your chances.
Part 3 Deny you will actually leave, while negotiating new contract July 2009
(Or maybe this had something to do with it)
http://www.gatorsports.com/article/2...tre-Dame-Ever-Do not move on to this step until the University your working at comes to you with an increase in salary. You are the one holding them by the balls, who cares if the school is going through its toughest years economically, this is what you have been working for, don't get weak now. This is statement is going to be similar to Part 1 but in the opposite direction, now don't forget you need to DENY actually leaving the university you are employed at, otherwise all the past month's work will be for nothing. So keep it short again, but make sure that the statement is definite and not open to interpretation.
Part 4 Ink new contract Aug 2009
http://rivals.yahoo.com/ncaa/footbal...v=ap&type=lgns All that hard work is now paying off, this is the easiest step you just have to put your John Hancock (Signature (your name in cursive)) on the dotted line that your agent points too. Later when this whole coaching thing is done you can write this all in some book about yourself, and will make even more money for that 6th house in italy you always wanted.
August 31st, 2009 at 12:54 AM ^
Part 5: Win 2 NC
August 31st, 2009 at 1:27 AM ^
Part 6: Steal Underpants
August 31st, 2009 at 1:59 AM ^
Part 6a) ???????
August 31st, 2009 at 2:08 AM ^
Part 6b) Profit.
August 31st, 2009 at 1:38 AM ^
Part 7: Tebow
August 31st, 2009 at 1:40 AM ^
Part 8: Fuck it dude, let's go bowling
August 31st, 2009 at 6:25 AM ^
Four part strategery:
1) Gain success at small school
2) Take medium bigger job as part of move up the food chain.
3) Tell everyone in the world that Notre Dame is your Dream Job.
4) Tell no one, not even your wife or the cheerleaders you bang, that you have NO INTENTION of ever coaching at Notre Dame.
August 31st, 2009 at 6:49 AM ^
The "scenery" in Gainesville is much, much better than the equine-faced coeds at ND.
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