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End of season catharsis (NSFW language)

By ttifiblog — January 12th, 2011 at 1:04 PM — 21 comments
Filed under:
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  • football
  • freep jihad
  • LOL NCAA
  • NSFW

Be forwarned, the following will not be pretty nor useful.  (mods, feel free to delete or censor). If you don't want to read a rage filled post, please close this tab and move on with your lives.

*

*

*

*

*

*

ok, we good?  Are the kids' eyes safely diverted? Then let the Fuuuuuuuuu machine engage:

Fuck it.

Fuck it all. 

Brian's not in a swearing mood.  I am.

I'm not angry that Hoke is now the coach.

He may someday turn into a decent coach. 

I'm pissed off at the state of College Football.

It's clearer than ever that the NCAA is full of a bunch of Cross Eyed Hypocrites.

It's painfully obvious that the newspapers are full of fucktards with their asses so far up their own asses that their noses are covered in their own shit and they can't smell the truth even if they were wearing ski masks without nose holes and they could pull off the ski masks and their noses wouldn't be covered in shit.  IT WOULDN'T MATTER, THEY'RE STILL FUCKING ASSCLOWNS.

Cam Newton just showed he was worth the thousands of dollars that Auburn, FUCKING AUBURN, FUCKING CHEATING MOTHER FUCKERS AUBURN WHO HAVE BEEN CAUGHT REDHANDED MORE TIMES IN THE LAST 20 YEARS THAN ANY OTHER FUCKING SCHOOL I CAN THINK OF, got some booster to donate to Cam Newton's dirty motherfucking religious dirty, and probably pedophile supporting, motherfucking father's church. 

So the story is that someone from UF tipped off the NCAA to Newton's dealings with MSU (NNTMSU, the MSU that kicked our fucking asses into oblvion because our defensive coaches quit sometime back in november since they didn't get any vote of confidence and knew they were all going to be out of jobs.  well good luck assholes, may god have mercy on anyone that hires you).  Gee, I wonder how they knew.  It's not like anyone with Florida connections is at Mississippi State now.  Oh, wait...

But Urban Meyer can't just come out and say that Florida paid for Newton too.  No, then he would be a villian, he would be throwing HIS OWN program under the bus.  Instead he can go on ESPN and blow sunshine up the WWL's asses while leaking left and right to try to hurt a rival school. 

But is it surprising that Florida is shelling out the money?  In today's game, that's the only way you can win on a consistent basis.  Especially in the S.E.C. We know USC was paying, we now know that OSU is paying, the entire SEC thinks the rulebook is quaint.  FUCK THEM ALL.

And I don't blame them.  FUCK YOU, NCAA, FUCK YOU.  Fuck your fucking hypocrisy.  Fuck you making millions off the BCS and EASports and then claiming that football players are "amateurs".  Fuck you punishing Michigan for an extra 20 minutes of stretching per week when the corrupt bastards down in Columbus are driving new cars every week.  If there's any loyal Michigan fans in Ohio, they should camp outside every car dealership in that god-forsaken town and record every time an OSU player does a "test drive".  Not that it would matter, the players could just use the "but I wasn't looking" defense and they'd be allowed to play in any meaningful (profitable) game.  Fucking bullshit. Fuck you, OSU AD and your fucking lies.  

And fuck you detroit free press.  Fuck you for focusing on kids stretching when half of MSU's (YTMSU, the green and white thugs in ski masks) team is on probation, in jail, or randomly putting other students in the hospital.  Fuck you.  I don't care that Glenn Winston is a two time convict.  I care that Dantonio would suit him up tomorrow if he had a chance, and you would still ignore it and write about how Richrod has a stupid accent and a "win at all costs" attitude.  FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. 

FUCK YOU MICHAEL ROSENBERG.  I hope you go to jail and people bugger you till you bleed from the nose.  Maybe that will clean your palate and you can smell your own fucking bias.  If anyone in the athletic department had any balls they would sue you for libel and slander.  HAVE YOU FINALLY LEARNED WHAT A FUCKING COUNTABLE HOUR IS, YOU DUMB BITCH? ARE YOU WILLING TO ADMIT IT, YOU FUCKING COWARD?

FUCK YOU DREW SHARP, BECAUSE FUCK YOU.  YOU ARE THE WORST KIND OF FUCKING ASSCLOWN.  YOU ARE THE REASON PEOPLE DON'T BUY THE FREEP ANYMORE.  I HOPE WHEN YOU GET TO HELL, THAT GOD MAKES YOU SUCK HIS COCK FOR ALL ETERNITY. YOU'VE NEVER HAD ANYTHING NICE NOR CONSTRUCTIVE TO SAY ABOUT ANYTHING OR ANYONE, EVER.  EVER! FUCK YOU. 

Fuck you ESPN.  FUCK YOU AND YOUR CONFLICTS OF INTEREST.  Fuck your "Sources".  Fuck herbstreit, fuck corso, fuck anyone that had anything to say about the coaching search, because FUCK YOU, YOU ALL DIDN'T KNOW SHIT.  FUCK JOE SCHAD, FUCK Andy who da fuck cares how to spell your fucking name.  How many times did you all declare that 'XYZ' coach was coming to michigan?  FUCK YOU. 

And finally, fuck you whiny players and your sense of entitlement.  I know you work hard, I know you deserve money.  But I hate your fucking attitudes.  I hate that you quit and transfer if you don't get your way. I hate that you bring in your jackass sportscasting fathers when you get disciplined. I hate that you think you can lie your way through life.  I hate that you usually can.  FUCK YOU KENYON RAMBO, FUCK TED GINN, SR AND JR. FUCK YOU TROY SMITH, FUCK YOU TERELLE PRYOR. AND FUCK ALL THE DIRTY BACKROOM DEALING BOOSTERS AND AGENTS WHO GAVE YOU EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED.

FUCK ALL OF YOU.  I was pretty good this season and kept my posting polite.  Well it turns out that it was just building up until this release.  And so if you have a problem with my post because you didn't heed the warning at the top, well then, fuck you too. 

Here's to four more years of mediocrity.  It's whiskey time.

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January 12th, 2011 at 1:24 PM | SEC schools that should not have been death-penaltied yet (Score:1)
erik_t
Joined: 11/11/2008
MGoPoints: 1011

Vandy

Um...?

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January 12th, 2011 at 1:25 PM | Other than the pedophile (Score:1)
dmozz
Joined: 07/13/2009
MGoPoints: 59

Other than the pedophile part  (where'd that come from?), this was perfect.  I need more rage in my life.

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January 12th, 2011 at 4:42 PM | just (Score:1)
ttifiblog
ttifiblog's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 2703

random anger with anything church related.

http://ttifi.blogspot.com/ for interesting vids

http://ttifiblog.tumblr.com/ for interesting pics

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January 12th, 2011 at 7:18 PM | Is that why you sent god to (Score:1)
Taps
Joined: 09/20/2009
MGoPoints: 187

Is that why you sent god to hell?

All in all, it's some impressive fucking work.

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January 12th, 2011 at 3:47 PM | posted from iPhone (Score:1)
octal9
octal9's picture
Joined: 11/11/2008
MGoPoints: 5717

Good. Use your aggressive feelings. Give in to your anger. It is unavoidable. It is... your destiny.

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January 12th, 2011 at 3:55 PM | posted from iPhone (Score:1)
bighousechris
bighousechris's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 1364

That was EPIC! Fuck the fuckin fuckers!

<Insert overused meme here>

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January 12th, 2011 at 4:40 PM | No subject (Score:1)
Wide Open
Wide Open's picture
Joined: 07/02/2008
MGoPoints: 585

A more thorough recapitulation of the travails of the antecedent three year epoch I can scarce fathom penning on my own. Brilliantly done sir.

(IOW: That's what the fuck I'm talking about!!!)

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January 12th, 2011 at 4:58 PM | amen (Score:1)
sandiego
Joined: 12/15/2008
MGoPoints: -572

I've been saving up and meaning to write a similar post for some time.  However lately I've been hitting the tequila so early in the day its tough to think straight by the time I have enough free time to write.

I feel better just having read that!

Drink a pint of tequila, 12 beers and start one post about Justin Boren in bad taste and end up with - 590 points.

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January 12th, 2011 at 5:05 PM | wow (Score:1)
tabfan19
tabfan19's picture
Joined: 11/05/2009
MGoPoints: 22

I have let loose some rants in my life -- but this, sir, is awesome. 

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January 12th, 2011 at 5:25 PM | Yowsa! (Score:1)
profitgoblue
Joined: 09/01/2009
MGoPoints: 19415

I feel dirty after having read this rant.  Although I do not agree with several of your substantive points, the rant in general was very impressive.

Disgruntled former moderator.  I got a lot of problems with you people!

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January 12th, 2011 at 5:30 PM | I need a keyboard like yours. (Score:1)
MaizeAndBlueWahoo
MaizeAndBlueWahoo's picture
Joined: 07/02/2008
MGoPoints: 11821

I need a keyboard like yours. One with a separate fuck key.

"We've beaten Michigan the last four years.  So where's the threat?"

- Mark Dantonio

Blogging the Virginia Cavaliers at http://fromoldvirginia.blogspot.com/<

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January 12th, 2011 at 5:44 PM | (No subject) (Score:1)
pasadenablue
pasadenablue's picture
Joined: 11/18/2008
MGoPoints: 4861

This is home...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgijdypJUEQ

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January 12th, 2011 at 6:00 PM | FUCK CATHARSIS (Score:1)
Blueroller
Blueroller's picture
Joined: 06/08/2010
MGoPoints: 404

There are hardly any thoughts in your diatribe that I haven't thought myself from time to time over the last miserable stretch. Great job spewing it all out in masterly fashion!

I would only add one thing: FUCK CATHARSIS AND ALL THAT DROVE US TO NEED IT!

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January 12th, 2011 at 6:02 PM | FUCK CATHARSIS (Score:1)
Blueroller
Blueroller's picture
Joined: 06/08/2010
MGoPoints: 404

There are hardly any thoughts in your diatribe that I haven't thought myself from time to time over the last miserable stretch. Great job spewing it all out in masterly fashion!

I would only add one thing: FUCK CATHARSIS AND ALL THAT DROVE US TO NEED IT!

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January 12th, 2011 at 6:02 PM | FUCK CATHARSIS (Score:1)
Blueroller
Blueroller's picture
Joined: 06/08/2010
MGoPoints: 404

There are hardly any thoughts in your diatribe that I haven't thought myself from time to time over the last miserable stretch. Great job spewing it all out in masterly fashion!

I would only add one thing: FUCK CATHARSIS AND ALL THAT DROVE US TO NEED IT!

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January 12th, 2011 at 6:06 PM | One more thing… Sorry (Score:1)
Blueroller
Blueroller's picture
Joined: 06/08/2010
MGoPoints: 404

One more thing… Sorry about the site being so sluggish that I inadvertently posted three times.

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January 12th, 2011 at 6:16 PM | I give it a 7 out of 10 (Score:1)
TdK71
TdK71's picture
Joined: 11/30/2010
MGoPoints: 184

Mostly because Tressel wasn't mentioned specifically.

 

j/k great rant

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January 12th, 2011 at 6:33 PM | Impressive (Score:1)
BlueDragon
BlueDragon's picture
Joined: 11/14/2010
MGoPoints: 16718

I'm pretty pissed myself after a FOUL year like 2010 for college FB.  Test drive to PA, Camgate, the RR era crashing and burning, the B1G continuing to suck in bowl games except against freaking BAYLOR and the realization that yes, the Big Ten sucks except for those who cheat and get away with it, the bad guys won the national championship AGAIN, Harbaugh turned into a lying scumbag and going mercenary, and general ennui are some of the issues I faced personally.

I have no respect for OSU athletics anymore.  They are a wannabe SEC team in Midwestern garb.  Their meathead fans have nothing--NOTHING--to lean on besides the team.  Trust me, I grew up with these people.

I intend to refer to this diary whenever I feel down, because nothing can get worse then this year in terms of sheer assitude in college athletics.  My personal football fandom is in the balance right now.  I still love the Wolverines to death, but I also have to face the reality that as long as OSU, USC, the SEC etc. can still cheat and get away with it, the odds are stacked heavily against Michigan.  Regardless, it's still the right thing to do.  I'll root for the Fighting Hokesters if that's what Dave Brandon asks of me.

Abort, Retry, Fail?

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January 12th, 2011 at 7:27 PM | Great rant. (Score:1)
Tater
Tater's picture
Joined: 08/13/2008
MGoPoints: 10378

The one on my blog isn't even a tenth as obscene as this one is.  I wonder if you have just written half of Brian's TWIS column for him?

 

 

 

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January 12th, 2011 at 8:36 PM | posted from aPhone (Score:1)
GreyJello
Joined: 02/17/2009
MGoPoints: 525

You had me at "asses so far up their own asses."

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January 12th, 2011 at 8:49 PM | Awesome (Score:1)
macdaddy
macdaddy's picture
Joined: 07/05/2008
MGoPoints: 1010

Feel better?

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