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Down with OPP: Six Zero (WifeDay)

By oriental andrew — October 22nd, 2010 at 2:01 PM — 20 comments
Filed under:
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What bye week?  This is, in fact, one of the biggest matchups of the year we have in the entire conference!  Saturday, Six Zero takes on the mighty WIFE in the annual WifeDay showdown.  We were able to get a hold of the presser notes for your reading pleasure.  Details on the rivalry game can be found here.

 

Now, on with the show!

 

Six Zero on defending Wife’s offense:

  • She’s been running this scheme for a long time and executes it very well. 
  • Wife uses a combination of power and finesse in running the offense.  The running game (ie, furniture) may not rack up the scores in favor of Wife’s offense, but it should gain quite a lot of yards, particularly in the Ikea set. 
  • Doesn’t expect to blitz often as it’s too obvious and wife will just run some screens by the register (and maybe some “red accent pillows with beads”). 
  • The toughest matchup for Six Zero’s defense figures to be passing game, as Wife looks to “torch” him by Ann Taylor Lofting balls over the weak secondary.  She’ll be going deep for the “perfect outfit” with regularity and the defense isn’t well-equipped to deal with this.  Expect the bulk of Wife’s scoring to come in the passing game (the AT Loft set is dangerous, but you also can’t ignore when she goes 5 wide with the WH/BM look). 

 

Six Zero on Wife’s defense:

  • Wife plays a bend but don’t break defense.  She gives in on some of the little things, but tries to avoid the big play.  Six Zero will try to take what she gives, but also look to break one long, most likely in electronics.
  • A risk for the defense, though, is making sure they stay disciplined.  In past matchups, the defense has gotten over-excited and drew penalties for un-husbandlike conduct (“if they’re actually showing college football in there, I’ll probably revert from model husband form and back to MGoBlog cretin, and she’ll simply leave the store.”)
  • Another by-product of her defensive philosophy is that she gives up the underneath (and over-the-shoulder) stuff quite readily.  This, of course, includes chain eating establishments with TV’s (“she’ll even pretend not to notice as I stare over her shoulder and root for whoever’s playing the Damn Buckeyes.”) and quick outs to Sonic for Grape Limeade. 

 

Six Zero on Special teams/intangibles:

  • Six Zero does figure to end up with a few unforced turnovers from Wife on the day (new shirts, pants, shoes). 
  • The question is whether or not he’ll be able to make a major impact, like returning a kick or a pick for a TD (home entertainment system!). 
  • Sales are dangerous in all phases of the game.  There will be many and Six Zero can’t do anything about that except to make sure he’s prepared (eg, smartphone + apps/internet).
  • Six Zero has to be careful he doesn’t look ahead to next week.  It could be a long day if he’s not focused and making adjustments mid-game.  He’s been there before, so doesn’t figure to panic.

 

Six Zero on the rivalry:

  • Annual matchup with a lot of energy on both sides, both looking forward to the weekend.
  • Lopsided series so far, with Wife winning every matchup by an average score of 37-13. 
  • Regardless of the outcome, “She’s A Pretty Great Wife”

Good luck to Six Zero this weekend.  He's gonna need it!  

And an OPP exclusive - a picture from last year's game:

  • oriental andrew's blog
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October 22nd, 2010 at 2:07 PM | WIFE (Score:1)
dvlfnfv5
Joined: 10/07/2010
MGoPoints: 344

WIFE = Wisconsin Fearless Exterminators...Beware!

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October 22nd, 2010 at 2:40 PM | OAB (Score:1)
ThWard
Joined: 07/10/2008
MGoPoints: 2631

You forgot to picture page that play.

 

Obviously, SixZero is leaving WAY too much room for Wife to get into stores - you leave that kind of room, she's going to be in the dressing room with 7 dresses to try on before you've even entered the store.  (Edit: perhaps this isn't on SixZero - did he have help over the top (brother-in-law blocking the entrance to Gap?).  In any event, he looks badly outmaneuvered there).

 

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October 22nd, 2010 at 2:19 PM | Calling out monuMental (Score:1)
acnumber1
acnumber1's picture
Joined: 10/19/2009
MGoPoints: 2653

monuMental - still waiting for

2010 Schedule Wallpaper - _____________ - Week 8 WifeDay

5 4 3 2 1 Touchdown!

Touchdown Billy Taylor!

Touchdown Billy Taylor!

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October 22nd, 2010 at 2:39 PM | And for the first time (Score:1)
Steve Levy Sucks
Steve Levy Sucks's picture
Joined: 10/13/2008
MGoPoints: 166

OPP really reflects the breakdown. 

Signed

Naughty by Nature

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October 22nd, 2010 at 3:09 PM | THE KNOWLEDGE (Score:1)
Mgolund
Joined: 07/23/2008
MGoPoints: 183

What does THE KNOWLEDGE say about the outcome?

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October 22nd, 2010 at 3:12 PM | Hip Hop Hurray (Score:1)
eganrut
Joined: 07/01/2008
MGoPoints: 32

Lets hear it for wife day.

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October 22nd, 2010 at 3:22 PM | If Six Zero wins the turnover battle scores the TV... (Score:1)
JeepinBen
JeepinBen's picture
Joined: 01/22/2010
MGoPoints: 9531

It sounds like there is NO way this is ever him

(/s just a joke from a single guy, hope the wives on here can take this in jest)

"Over? Did you say, over? Nothing is over until we decide it is!"

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October 22nd, 2010 at 3:29 PM | dude? (Score:1)
Six Zero
Six Zero's picture
Joined: 09/05/2008
MGoPoints: 10152

Kinda crossing the line.  My wife, I get to be the one making the jokes.  You're just a guy having laughs at my wife's expense...

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October 22nd, 2010 at 3:39 PM | And it's glorious. (Score:1)
Nosce Te Ipsum
Nosce Te Ipsum's picture
Joined: 03/12/2010
MGoPoints: 5498

And it's glorious.

Omnia mutantur nos et mutamur in illis.

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October 22nd, 2010 at 4:21 PM | whoa (Score:1)
oriental andrew
oriental andrew's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 4538

Thought we were all e-friends just having a good time.  No harm intended.  If you're really offended, feel free to email me and I'll ask the mods to take it down (I don't think I can delete it myself).  I don't think I'd be offended if the roles were reversed (yes I'm married, yes I have kids, and yes my wife takes me on shopping excursions every now and again).  In all seriousness, let me know @ gobluetwo at hotmail dot com.  

For my privacy, my new username is "non-Oriental non-Andrew"
 

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October 22nd, 2010 at 4:55 PM | I hear you, O.A. (Score:1)
Six Zero
Six Zero's picture
Joined: 09/05/2008
MGoPoints: 10152

Just want to be up front in demanding that this whole piece stays respectful, that's all.  I'm sure you understand.  She's awesome and I wouldn't let anyone in person say the wrong thing about her, and it shouldn't be any different here, y'know?

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October 22nd, 2010 at 5:16 PM | i hear ya (Score:1)
oriental andrew
oriental andrew's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 4538

 

Again, feel free to email me if you feel anything I wrote is out of line and I'd be happy to edit.  I re-read it a couple of times and nothing jumped out at me, but then again, I wrote it and everyone perceives things differently.  

For my privacy, my new username is "non-Oriental non-Andrew"
 

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October 22nd, 2010 at 5:37 PM | Same for me, SixZero (Score:1)
ThWard
Joined: 07/10/2008
MGoPoints: 2631

Your post rocked.  I thought OA's built on it in a funny way.  Definitely don't intend disrespect by carrying it along farther with more MGomemes.

 

Enjoy Wifeday!

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October 23rd, 2010 at 12:59 AM | gents (Score:1)
mi93
Joined: 11/15/2008
MGoPoints: 393

i was so impressed with both posts, I told my missuz about them and sent her the links.  she said thumbs up to you both.

have a great weekend and best of luck 6-0.

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October 22nd, 2010 at 4:58 PM | Disregard this if you are (Score:1)
Mustachioed Gen...
Mustachioed Gentleman's picture
Joined: 05/25/2009
MGoPoints: 2746

Disregard this if you are being sarcastic but, if not, then I will chime in and say that nothing in this post is remotely crossing any line- perceived, real or any other version of a line. 

 

Does it tickle? Only slightly, only slightly.

I upvote any post by BlockM. And Magnus.

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October 22nd, 2010 at 5:01 PM | There is a simple solution (Score:1)
99bobcats
99bobcats's picture
Joined: 08/20/2008
MGoPoints: 479

I think you know what it is.

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October 22nd, 2010 at 3:36 PM | UFR? (Score:1)
tasnyder01
Joined: 10/11/2010
MGoPoints: 762

Brian, I'm looking at you...

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October 22nd, 2010 at 4:43 PM | It's (Score:1)
bluesouth
bluesouth's picture
Joined: 11/02/2008
MGoPoints: 2345

a European shoulder bag.  rolls eyes towards wife.  great post.

 "Runnnn!!! get to da choppa"

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October 22nd, 2010 at 5:15 PM | This is all awesome (Score:1)
BrewCityBlue
BrewCityBlue's picture
Joined: 09/07/2009
MGoPoints: 1468

Six Zero's post. Oriental Andrew's Press conference breakdown. This is all hilarious.

FTR, i don't see how this could be seen as defamating or negative in any way. There's no "making fun of" or "insulting" - just going along with the same theme as if this is actually the biggest game we are all pulling for this weekend.

Let's go Six Zero - you're a huge underdog this week but i'm rooting for you to pull this one out!!!!

HAIL.

"Where's the threat? Oh, it's right here, and it's devouring us alive." -Ace<

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October 22nd, 2010 at 11:38 PM | I Say 3 Cheers (Score:1)
Edward Khil
Edward Khil's picture
Joined: 03/06/2010
MGoPoints: 924

3 cheers to both 

 

 

 

3 cheers to both Six Zero and Oriental Andrew.  6-0's post was pretty darn funny, and heartwarming.  My initial reaction to seeing that someone had started another post was severe skepticism.  But the laughs continued.

Bravo to 6-0 for registering his concern that perhaps OA had taken things too far.  Any husband (and I am one) would rightly be concerned that things might get out of hand.  More applause for Andrew for graciously offering to make any amends 6-0 deemed necessary.

And huzzahs to the entire mgocommunity: there was obvious delight, respect and warm wishes in every comment.  This site is more than the most amazing source for all things Wolverine; it is a bastion of decency and an oasis of sophistication.

If anyone can recommend another site with this level of discourse, regardless of subject matter, I am all eyes.  (theeconomist.com?)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They don't realize that there's this, like, lattice of coincidence that lays on top of everything.
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