Dear Mary Sue,
As alumni and fans of the University of Michigan football program, we demand a clear explanation of the significance of a Uniqname. It seems that Uniqnames have taken on an increased level of importance in the day and age of the Internet Stalker, and the public information available on the Umich directory will decide the fates of not one man, not one team, not even one program - but the fates of many lazy, pimple-faced, cyberspace inhabitants as well. I hope you do not cower under the weight of such intense pressure.
Does getting a Uniqname mean that someone is enrolled? Or does it simply mean that they might want to play football at the University of Michigan and the opportunity to Bind or Unbind could excite a star football player into committing to our great program?
We want to know!
As the steward of this public university - and a slave to the Freedom of Information Act - we require an answer from you at once. We will not leave our computers until we get one (or on January 3rd, whichever comes first), and you don't want a bunch of scoliosis lawsuits on your hands.
Sincerely,
Magnus and the MGoBlog Community
P.S. Or if you can just tell us whether William Campbell is enrolled, you can forget about the rest of this letter. Thanks.
December 29th, 2008 at 12:49 PM ^
your humor is pretty elusive.
December 29th, 2008 at 1:17 PM ^
but is it FAST?
December 29th, 2008 at 1:11 PM ^
When I saw who wrote this, I had to read it. Outstanding ...
December 29th, 2008 at 1:50 PM ^
Send it to her.
December 29th, 2008 at 1:57 PM ^
Good stuff! I know that if I could Bind and update my preferred beverage, I'd be in front of the Union tomorrow!
December 29th, 2008 at 2:13 PM ^
how can these kids enroll early, if they haven't yet signed their LOI's?
(Yes, I'm a dumbass.)
December 29th, 2008 at 2:53 PM ^
I believe if you enroll, there is no need for an LOI.
December 29th, 2008 at 6:58 PM ^
I'm filing a scoliosis lawsuit anyway. The coaching search was brutal.
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