The only curses I want to see are those coming out of Tressel's mouth after his team loses on Saturday.
this week in unintentionally grim-sounding recruiting headlines
How many of you believe in spooky, other-worldly happenings going on today?
(everybody who believes in psychokinesis, raise my hand).
No? Well tell me, how many of you at least believe in coincidences?
For you skeptics, consider:
Mark Twain was born and died on the day of two successive Halley's Comet appearances 75 yrs apart;
A falling baby was saved twice by the same man;
2 brothers were killed while riding the very same moped by the same taxi driven by the same driver - and even carrying the very same passengers;
Louis XVI, previously warned by an astrologer to stay home on the 21st day of each month, since that was not his lucky number, ended up being arrested, deposed and executed by guillotine on the 21st day of each month.*
Well, if that’s not enough for you, get ready for the next entry into the book of strange coincidences: The second “Upset of the Century.”
The OSU game on Saturday will be played on the 40th anniversary of what has been termed: the upset of the century in ’69.
Then, UM had been a college football power but recently had fallen on hard times, including, in the past 6 years, a 2-victory season and 3-victory season (like now)
Michigan was in the process of rebuilding (like now)
The game involved a coach who had recently come to Michigan (like now)
He was a young coach, in his 40s. (like now)
He was known for his teams’ running attack. (like now)
He had a conditioning program far more rigorous than any the players had been exposed to before. (like now)
He had many sideline outbursts. (like now)
He had come from outside of Michigan, from a state bordered by the major tributary of the Mississippi River (like now)
That year, UM had already lost to its other rival, MSU, on the road. (like now)
The Wolverines had been humiliated the year before in Columbus (like now)
OSU was known for its strong defense: (like now)
Nobody gave Michigan a chance: Ohio State was favored by 17 points (about same as this year’s game)
What happened in the actual game?
The Buckeyes had committed an unheard-of seven turnovers on the day, six interceptions and a fumble, which occurred on the final clinching play and involved a player named …(what do you think?)
--you guessed it
Wait, it only gets more interesting……
An article once made it widely known that Pryor was cast in the role of Superman before he played his first down at Ohio State.
What is not well known, however, is that Pryor thereby became part of another series of coincidences, later termed the notorious Superman curse. It’s a curse that’s spelled doom for the creators and producers of Superman, as well as many of its costars (Marlon Brando, Mariel Hemingway, Margot Kidder) and so-called Superman stars George Reeves, who committed suicide and Christopher Reeve, who became quadriplegic and died from its complications.*
In addition, Marlon Brando’s son, shortly after a Superman episode, shot and killed the lover of his half-sister, then claimed the shooting was not a crime.
(like Terrelle Pryor saying: “everybody kills”).
Moreover, one of the villain’s in Superman III became drug addicted, almost died in a fatal accident, then developed a demyelinating neuromuscular disorder
(Terrelle’s father has a demyelinating neuromuscular disorder).
What was the poor villain’s last name????
Hearing of all these strange coincidences, and fearing that the Superman curse will lead Terrelle Pryor to a game-ending fumble as occurred in 1969, OSU coach Jim Tressel this week has been furiously pouring over not game films but old episodes of Superman. He has the complete collection, anyway, since he always did kinda like guys wearing capes and tights.
Recently, however, rumors of a successful exorcism for a curse had spread far and wide, even to the most backward, primitive, illiterate societies on the continent..finally…even to Columbus, Ohio. It was then that Tressel learned about how Boston ended the Curse of the Bambino. Recall that the Red Sox opened Fenway park on the day the titanic sunk and after the year the team sold Babe Ruth to the Yankees, had an 85 year spell without a championship, while the Yankees won 24. Bostonians who had already suffered flashbacks of the British invasion centuries ago, were then having flashbacks about a ground ball going through the legs of Bill Buckner, leading them to blow their Championship hopes in ’86. So, they hired Father Guido Sarducci to sprinkle holy water on the Green Monster (the gargantuan left field wall) and exorcise the spirit haunting Fenway park. Father Guido told to Boston Faithful not to expect immediate results. He was right. Nothing happened for fifteen years. Finally, however, the exorcism worked, Boston won a title. The Curse of the Bambino had been vanquished.
Accordingly, in anticipation of a repeat of 1969, Tressell called Father Guido. He asked him to go to AA for an exorcism of on the eve of The Game. Father Guido agreed that an exorcism was badly needed, especially since Goss' halo had been removed from the stadium. Unfortunately, Father Guido told the OSU faithful that he has a different kind of "prior" engagement. He’s been asked by ND not only to remove the spirit of Charlie Weiss but also his body. And regrettably, Father Guido’s already paid for his equipment: 24-a foot Ryder truck.
So, it looks like OSU is as doomed as poor Charlie.
Stick a fork in ‘em.
The spirit lives.
All that we need the team to do is to write the next entry in this remarkable story of coincidences—a W in the record book for 2009.
So remind Pryor that the 21st of the month was not only a bad hair day for Louis XVI, who was arrested, deposed and guillotined on that day. Make Nov 21 a memorable day for TP too.
So Put Pryor on his Posterior!!
The only curses I want to see are those coming out of Tressel's mouth after his team loses on Saturday.
Reportedly, Tressel told his team today;
“I've seen monkey-$hit fights at the zoo that are more organized than this.”
Wrong Louis, it was Louis XVI, but overall an interesting read.
Allons enfants de la patrie...
Le jour de gloire est arrivé.
Funny that le jour de gloire was a bunch of people guillotining everyone else. Si le jour de gloire arrive ici, je vais partir.
If UM wins on Saturday, a lot of cheering fans will lose their heads.
what Dr's Stantz, Venkman, and Spengler tell me to.
Janine Melnitz: You're very handy, I can tell. I bet you like to read a lot, too.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Print is dead.
Janine Melnitz: Oh, that's very fascinating to me. I read a lot myself. Some people think I'm too intellectual but I think it's a fabulous way to spend your spare time. I also play raquetball. Do you have any hobbies?
Dr. Egon Spengler: I collect spores, molds, and fungus.
a month ago I would have read this and been pissed that someone feels the need to write something like this to give UM fans hope, I mean we are UM, we can win any game without all this tin foil hat shit. But now, fuck it, I'm tired of being rational and thinking logically, THE CURSE LIVES!!!!! I hope your right dude, and it was a really interesting read BTW. Thx.
The first man killed building the Hoover Dam was the Father of the last man killed on the job.
I am just saying...
For those of you who haven't seen it, OSU will be wearing an alternate jersey on Saturday. http://twitpic.com/o8vxb
My theory for why we will win this game: By going corporate and wearing an alternate jersey for this year's chapter of college football's most storied rivalry, OSU has angered the college football gods. Their punishment will be to lose to an outmanned Michigan team that, while lacking talent, at least had the decency to not wear some Oregon-esque eyesore from Nike.
OSU thinks that the uniform honors the 1954 National Championship team.
Wrong. In the 1954, just add the five to the one and put the 4 in front and what do you get?
Unbeknownced to them, the spirit has tricked them into a number that is “for” the ’69 game.
The Red Sox won the World Series 3 times between when it opened and the selling of Babe Ruth.
How does the Titanic reference apply?
I inserted the word "after" to clarify that it was after the sale of ruth in 1919 that the winless streak began, which makes sense, since it is the "curse of the bambino," not the curse of fenway. In retrospect, it is tempting to infer that the coincidence of the Fenway Park opening and the Titanic sinking must have made the Park at least more susceptible to demonic possession.
I didn't know for sure if Fenway Park was partially possessed prior to losing the Babe, I tried to look for reliable scientific research on demonology, but could find nothing on “American league baseball park possession.” I don’t know why. But, you know, it's hard to get funding for important research these days.
However, I did find something that the readers might find useful on: how to tell if you are possessed by a demon.
1. "Check to see if you summoned a demon. If you don't remember whether or not you have recently called upon the dark aid of the Unholy Ones, look around your place for mutilated animals, sacrificed relatives, or huge pools of blood. If you are pretty sure there aren't any, chances are you were not possessed.
2. Is everyone treating you like some kind of jerk? If you have recently found that your friends don't return your calls, and your church friends run in screaming terror upon seeing you, chances are you're possessed.
3. Do a demon test. Demons need human consent to run your body. If you don't know if you're possessed, simply read the script linked below, surrendering yourself to the forces of darkness. Read it aloud, with clarity and purpose. If you read that script and nothing happens, congratulations! Not only were you not possessed, there were no demons in earshot willing to take you up on your request.
While these tips should help you identify if a demon is possessing you, keep in mind
a. (that) this list is not exhaustive…
b. Unfortunately if the demon wins even once, you're pretty much screwed. ….
c. If another person is possessed, he or she will probably lie to you about it. When my girlfriend stopped returning my calls, I asked if she was possessed and she said "No, are you a psycho?" I now realize this was the demon talking."
Don't forget that 1969 was Bo's first season and this is RichRod's second season.
Any good coincidence story must of necessity rearrange the furniture to put out of view any messy, contradictory facts.
He should have been there in 1968. Or is it that Lloyd retired a year to early?
Hell, I don't know, but I love consipracy theories and X Files type shit.
I will get a tattoo that commemorates both upsets.
If we lose, in the words of Tom Waits, it's "hotels and whiskey and hard luck days."
I remember father Sarducci well. For those old enough or who may care, to slightly digress he was a roughly the same SNL vintage as John Belushi's priceless take on Woody Hayes, in particular Woody's attempted assault on a Clemson noseguard who had just intercepted a pass in the 1978 Gator Bowl. I don't have any Belushi but here's the real deal for old time's sake. Cut and paste if these don't come up as links.
I never realized Belushi did an impression of Woody. Let me know if you ever find the tape of that.
Not only a reminder of Woody...the reason he was PO'd was that Clemson picked off a pass by Art Schlichter--the guy who was convicted of gambling offenses, if I remember correctly.
I can't remember the guy's name, but he converted to wide receiver for his senior year so that Schlichter could start as a freshman.
Schlichter threw a lot of picks as a freshman, but Ohio State came within a point of a share of a national title the next year under Earle Bruce. If I remember correctly, at one point Ohio State had the ball at the 1 against Southern Cal in the Rose Bowl but fumbled the ball out of the end zone.
I remember the game - not that fumble but I know it was very close. I think Charles White was the star of those USC teams. Archie Griffin had won back to back Heisman's a few years before - that Rose Ball was a big one. Woody Hayes was nearing his last days at OSU. I had always been a Michigan fan but did not get to school there until 1980, in time for one of the Wolverine's best seasons ever - Bo's first Rose Bowl win.
Belushi had it going for a while. I think Gilda Radner may have been Mrs. Hayes, who was of course roundly punched out. I'll have to try and find some video before Saturday.
From tv.com (http://www.tv.com/john-belushi/person/99917/trivia.html) - alphabetical below
His impressions include Al Hirt, Babe Ruth, Bert Lance, Cesar Romero, Dino De Laurentiis, Ed Ames, Ed Asner, Elizabeth Taylor, Elvis Presley, Franklin Roosevelt,
Fred Silverman, George Wallace, Henry Kissinger, Jack Kerouac, Jawaharlal Nehru,
Jimmy Hoffa, Joe Cocker, John Lennon, Leonid Brezhnev, Marlon Brando, Menachim Begin, Rasputin, Richard Daley, Robert Blake, Roy Orbison, Sam Peckinpah, Steve Rubell, Sun Myung Moon, Tip O'Neil, Truman Capote, Woody Hayes, and Yasser Arafat.
Thoroughly enjoyable. I am not at all disturbed that some facts were glossed over, or that there were imperfect analogies between past and present events, because, c'mon now, this is comedy and not a serious prediction of any kind.
That being said, did you know that Don Novello, the fellow who played Father Sarducci, is from . . . Ohio?
'"His [Ronald Reagan's] favorite speech of mine, he gave the speech before the joint Houses of Congress, and what it was about was the Central American threat. He made it sound like Central America was going to attack you tomorrow. It was so heavy. The best part: he looks straight at the camera and he says, 'Ladies and gentlemen, Central America is closer to Texas than Texas is to the state of Maine.' I'm shaking in my boots. Let's get out the globe and check it ourselves. So you get the globe and you go Central America - Texas, Texas - Maine, #&%$@#, it is closer!
"Whole idea of the speech was [that] your neighbors are just too darned close to you. So what I was thinking, if I was Ronald Reagan, I wouldn't be so upset about Central America, I would be afraid of Canada. Ladies and gentlemen,
I looked it up myself, Canada is closer to the United States than South Bend is to Mishawaka. Look it up yourself. This country is 3,000 miles long, just looming over you, could come down any time and attack you.
I know what everybody says, everybody says the same thing: Canada is your friend, you've been friends for 200 years or so. I say, don't push your luck. Who knew, ten years ago, there would be trouble in Central America? Ten years from now it could be Canada.
"So, if I was Reagan, I'd nuke 'em. I'd do it. One bomb on Toronto.'
The Superman connection is very interesting especially when I considered this; TP is my cousin on my grandfather's side, and we share a common relative; Richard Pryor.
I did not realize there was an actual family tie. It made me wonder about a connection between Richard Pryor's MS and the disease of TP's father (called CMT or Charcot Marie Tooth disease). These two illnesses are different. While CMT's many variants are hereditary, the cause of MS is far murkier. Although I am not aware of a real link between the two disorders, I have seen speculation about such a link based on some people who have both.
In any case, I hope that my post is only taken in jest. I thought I was adding only a ridiculous connection between TP's father, named Pryor (I assume) and Richard Pryor. I had no idea there was a real family connection. Had I known, especially given the serious illness of TP's father, including that section would have demonstrated very poor taste. Let me know if you have a problem with it and I will be happy to remove it.
Remove the post? R U kidding? I loved your post. I thought the stuff you dug up was one hell of a coincidence, so I figured if I shared that info, then it would make all the more X-Files-ish.
1. In November of 1969, the same month we manhandled OSU, Sesame Street debuted.
2. Sesame Street features muppets.
3. Jim Henson, the creative force behind Sesame Street, decided to use similar creatures as the focus of The Muppet Show.
4. Mgoblog uses muppets from The Muppet Show to celebrate . . .
that's right: VICTORY.
BOOM. CONSIDER YOUR MIND OFFICIALLY BLOWN.
That year, the big craze, also from the muppet show, was the "chicken dance." Everybody was flapping their wings like a chicken. Maybe that's an idea for half-time, like a ritual incantation to rouse the spirits of '69. (if not, it's at least a good way to stand up and stretch)
3rd string defensive end and future star Cecil Pryor!
The name "Cecil" means "blind" and "sixth".
Michigan has lost 5 straight games to OSU. This 6th game will be different, blind to the past five.
Oh stop it. I'm scaring myself.
Also, Cecil (B.deMIlle) produced a well-known movie called the Ten Commandments, the most famous scene of which involved the parting of the Red Sea
….kind of like opening up a really big hole in the OSU
if you will forgive the biblical analogy.
Kolesar was the bomb...
...as far as I'm concerned, these are two 0-0 teams meeting for their first game of the season.
I think this is an interesting comparison, and quite frankly, I think that the fact that this is the 40th anniversary might give the team something to focus on.
Seniors leaving want something to tell their kids about. Freshmen who have nothing to lose want to end the season on a high note. Coaches want seniors and freshmen alike to play like they've done in practice all season - full force.
I think players on the field have had this game drilled into their head from Day One. Even if RR is accused of not getting it (i.e. the tradition that this game holds), I'm sure he'll get it, really quick. However, I KNOW that the players understand The Game. And in the end analysis, they're the ones who make things happen.
Regardless of coincidence or curse, I am convinced that this team wants to make this game memorable.