is there such a thing as an etsy genuis? if so, this is it.
In the spirit of the holiday season, I thought I'd spread a little cheer in the form of an update on a familiar story. Hope you all enjoy whatever holiday(s) you celebrate, and have a safe and happy new year.
'Twas the night before Awesome, when all through Ann Arbor
Not a QB was stirring, not even The Coner.
Shafer was hung from the chimney with care,
In hopes that the 3-3-5 soon would be there.
The 2010 recruits were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of snake oil danced in their heads.
And Magee in his 'kerchief, and Rich Rod in his cap,
Again began searching for a second QB to trap.
When out on the Diag there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from The Jug to see what was the matter.
Away to the Big House I flew like a flash,
Jumped the gate, and continued the dash.
The moon on the roof of Crisler's tin dome
Gave the luster of midday to Beilein below,
When, what to my smothering ennui should appear,
But Tate Forcier and hope for next year!
With a new spread offense, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it will eventually stick.
More rapid than eagles, the ninjas they came,
And Barwis whistled and shouted and called them by name:
"Now Koger! Now Cox!
Now, Brown and Odoms!
On, Minor! On, Shaw!
On, Mathews and Stonum!
To the top of the polls!
To the Granddaddy of 'em All!
Now dash away! Dash away!
Don’t fumble the damn ball!"
As "three yards and a cloud of dust" that no longer applies,
When they meet with an obstacle, they'll simply fly by,
And zip to the end zone as the crowd goes 'woo hoo'
With "The Victors" cued up as the extra point goes through.
And then, in a twinkling, I swig from my booze,
Thinking of 2008 and all we endured.
As I draw up the flask and start pouring it down,
All is forgiven and perspective is found.
The Death Butterfly was real, from its head to its foot,
And the commitments poured in, 5-stars to boot.
A bundle of trophies and Big Ten titles won,
The future's not here--it's only begun.
Rich Rod spoke not a word, but continued his work,
And filled the new Big House, then welcomed the perks.
He'll soon walk on water, as Don Nehlen told,
And hacks like Drew Sharp will be fired, when the Freep finally folds.
So to people out there, give our coaches some time,
And embrace the basketball team too, because they have arrived.
And last but not least, as I wind this down right:
GO BLUE to all, and to all a good night.