Mike Lantry, 1972
Camp Barwis: The Movie
So after a night at the bar, I had some divine intervention in the form of a dream, to make the film "Camp Barwis" a reality. As usually happens after spending some time at Good Time Charley's, I had a very vivid dream, that this time, was half trailer, half dream.
The dream started with a bunch of fat linemen leaning against each other and rolling around on the ground, and a plump middle aged fellow with a moustache yelling at them (I'm thinking it was supposed to be Gittleson, but I don't know what he looks like). Suddenly, there was a growly voice that said, "stop, this is my team" and the music from the Batman trailer cued, as the words "Camp Barwis" popped up in block maize lettering. Then Barwis, (played by Billy Bob Thorton. Yes, I realize this makes no sense, and I guess my brain generally sucks at casting badass cagefighting warriors) runs over and punches Gittleson and he literally explodes.
The next time we see the players, rather than fat slobs they are the nerdiest nerds that ever lived, and they are running from Barwis (who isn't Thorton anymore, but is actually the real guy). At this point it got a bit chaotic as the nerd players ran around, but eventually the left the field and were somehow in ancient Rome (again, I don't get it).
Finally, Barwis chases them into the colliseum and once again, they have transformed and are now ridiculously jacked. Just as they are about to face off, I wake up because I have to poop.
I want this movie to actually happen.