I wanted to thank everyone for their input on this post.....it was freakin hilarious
. I went ahead and consolidated everything, and this is my first diary post....so bare with me on the formatting b/c I will be fixing it in a "trial and error" method. Any suggestions on enhancing this list will be appreciated.
1 Touchdown Jesus
2 Because The University of Michigan is better than Notre Dame. End of story
3 They have an Irish Mascot but their name is French. WTF?
4 Because Notre Dame made some Michigan fan make this horrible website
5 Phantom PI calls.
6 The fact that they claim God is on their side when most of their best players aren't even Catholic.
7 Urban Meyer!!!! Jon Gruden!!!! BEST JOB EVAAA
8 Stealing perfectly good/talented prospects and turning them into underachieving sallys.
9 Those shitty slash marks that they paint in the endzone...
10 Brady Quinn's hot sister marrying a buckeye
11 How about 2005 Henne-sneak touchdown that was somehow missed while a 5yard random penalty on ND was called, then Henne fumbled the next sneak.
12 South Bend is the undeserved home of the College Football Hall of Fame
13 Because Hawaii should not be used to go over .500.
14 Hogging the use of 'return to glory' for like a decade and not allowing a more deserving team to use it.
15 No Excuses
16 They got their uniforms from Navy
17 Bud Light: Real Men of Genius - Hopeless Notre Dame Fan
19 Pedophilic priests
20 Lack of conference and a TV contract big enough to feed their coach
21 "The most underrated coach in America..."
22 Potato famine...too soon?
23 Is "golden" a first name?
24 Firing Ty Willingham for going 21-15 over 3 seasons but keeping Charlie Weis despite going 29-21 over 4 seasons and claiming race has nothing to do with it.
25 Games against Michigan could go either way, but they find a way to lose to [TEAM REDACTED] every year
27 The Grotto
28 Because I can't eat Lucky Charms for breakfast the week of the UM-ND game.
29 The fact that the Fighting Illini are insulting to Native Americans, but the Fighting Irish are totally cool.
30 I had to drive through South Bend once in 1995 and I still can't believe what a crap-hole that place is.
31 the 'icy hot stuntaz' have yet to give membership to Jimmay.
32 They don't play night games, oh wait..
33 That ND dude who hangs out here and adds thoughtful comments to every thread, especially ones that have nothing to do with ND.
34 They keep all their money while everyone else splits
35 Their refusal to install video screens in their stadium. Also, my vainglorious strumpet of an ex was a ND fan. Enough said.
36 Joe Theismann
37 They grew their field out to try to slow down Reggie Bush. Worked real well.
38 That they really think their players trend more towards the student in student-athlete than all other D1 schools.
40 Captain Front-Butt
41 Wanna see my Super Bowl ring?
42 the fact that the most impressive win of "genius coach" Charlie Weis' career is a loss to USC.
43 the fact that they actually thought there were two crutches in the universe able to support Weis.
44 Ron Powlus on the Sports Illustrated cover.
45 Their neverending television contract with NBC. Notre (Dame) Broadcasting Company.
46 Regardless of your political views, this event seemed to piss everyone off in some capacity:
47 They're not even the best Catholic football school
48 They got rid of O'Leary
49 they think their fight song is better than ours...idiots
50 Because of 38-0... er wait that's not right...
52 My deep, deep seeded catholic guilt.
54 Brady quinn, and all of the strange feelings I have when I see him stretch with his shirt off.
55 Nicholas Sparks
56 Automagic BCS bid if they win 9 games.
58 Because they get a free pass to the BCS after getting blown out by the two teams they play that have a pulse.
59 Because their fans threw snowballs at their own players after losing to Syracuse.
60 because of the "you are. state school" chant
61 Because they need a sign to tell them to "Play like a champion today"
62 Jeff Samardzija
63 Because Fielding Yost thought Knute Rockne was a freakin' prick.
64 Reggie Ho
65 Leprechauns are creepy
66 Because they refuse to join the Big 10.
67 God's team? Pleeeaaaase! I talked to God this morning. He told me He really doesn't have a team (and He got permission from Bo to say so).
68 South Bend
69 My wife likes them. Enough said.
70 some of their fans identify as Ohio State fans too.
71 B/c Michigan had to go down there to "teach" them how to play football around the turn of the century
72 "Did you know Tom Zbikowski is also a boxer?!?"
73 B/c they build their stadium w/ the blueprints of Michigan Stadium
74 because of the Inquisition.
75 The theme song makes babies cry. It really does. I saw it the other night. Twice.
76 Having to hear "Return to Glory" every single season
77 All of Powlus' Heismans
78 Beano Cook
79 decided schematic advantage
80 Stupid green jerseys.
81 ND people telling you "Good Notre Dame football is good for college football" as if you give a shit.
82 Jimmah Clausen's stretch Hummer
83 Their mascot
84 Jerome "The Bus" Bettis
85 Pat Haden and Tom Hammond.
87 That's what losers do
88 Was apparently on the glee club with my grandfather back in their days. Back when my grandfather remembered such things, he said he was a total dick.
89 regis philbin....
90 Brady Quinn
91 The lady i sit next to at work this morning, "did you see those irish!?", who is unable to name a single player on the team.
92 "To Hell with Michigan!"
93 Rudy sold his own story to Disney. Knowing that the movie was his own idea makes the movie even worse.
94 Lou Holtz
95 Rudy was offside.
96 Charlie Weis...he takes up a large chunk of the list.
97 because Rudy didn't die at the end of the movie. Or did he? Never fucking saw it and don't care.
98 2002 phantom touchdown
99 The Rocket
100 They apparently have to rely on luck
101 the fact that their colors are blue and gold, but their fans wear GREEN.
102 Jeff Jackson
103 The Golden Dome
104 The Notre Dame Victory March
105 Because no one has nicknamed Weis "The humpbacked Whale of Notre Dame".
106 That insufferable fictitious prick Tommy Kilborn
107 It's in Indiana.
108 Because my mother in law tells me every effing day that her dad played for the irish. well, ya know what, he's a douche caboose.
109 their helmets are made of "real gold".
110 The "Here come the Irish" chant
111 The stupid cow-milking hand-gesture thing the fans do.