10 Bold Predictions for the Upcoming Season

-Renaldo Sagesse will be kicked off the team for violating the Athletic Department’s strict “Avoid the Noid” policy.

-In an attempt to further make their presence felt in the state of Michigan, Mark Dantonio’s Michigan State Spartans will defect from the Big Ten to the MHSAA’s Genesee Area Conference.

-Two days after being kidnapped by Eric Lindros for the weekend, Demetrius Hart will commit to York University.

-In order to chase his political dreams, David Brandon will announce his retirement at the end of the year. His replacement will be La-Van Hawkins.

-Michigan’s patchwork secondary will prove highly serviceable. This prediction is based on nothing whatsoever.

-By the middle of Big Ten play, Michigan’s football team will have morphed into nothing more than a platform to promote Domino’s sensational new pasta bowls.

-That cherished victory against OSU will come this season. Oregon will annihilate Oregon State 45-17.

-The BCS will once again be embroiled in controversy when the season finishes with Ohio State ranked number 1 in the Coach’s Poll, Alabama ranked number 1 in the AP Poll, and Iowa ranked number 1 in the penal system.

-After he is named a First Team All-American at year’s end, Mike Martin will declare for the WWE draft.

-Michigan will finish the season 13-0 and capture their first national championship since 1997. Sadly, this historic run will be lost on future generations when my Playstation’s memory card becomes corrupted.