Coaches' timeouts are worse. Basketball teams should get one, full stop.
A reader forwarded me a link to footballcommentary.com, which, in the parlance of our times, is "the bomb," if you're a huge numbers dork like me. I haven't had time to go over it extensively but it certainly looks like the sort of thing someone should soothingly recite to Lloyd Carr as he peacefully slumbers.
In fact, I'm linking this bad boy on the left.