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Will Campbell Thinks He's In Dukes Of Hazzard, Is Not

By Brian — May 31st, 2012 at 3:54 PM — 123 comments
Filed under:
  • legal aarrgh
  • will campbell

Dukes-Of-Hazzard-TV-09[1]

WHICH ONE OF THESE MEN IS WILL CAMPBELL? TRICK QUESTION

He is not correct. The result:

According to Ann Arbor police, Campbell was arrested after attempting to slide across the hood of a vehicle at 2 a.m. on April 7 in the 600 block of Church Street. An officer in the area could hear the sheet metal on the hood of the car buckle under Campbell’s weight — he’s listed at 322 pounds — and arrested the senior, police stated.

Campbell was intoxicated, according to police.

I'd hope so.

He's got a felony and a misdemeanor coming, which will obviously be pled down to some community service and a fine and Brady Hoke doghouse time. Will it affect his availability for Alabama? I'd say probably not, but we'll see.

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May 31st, 2012 at 3:56 PM | Best arrest ever. (Score:5 Normal)
chitownblue2
chitownblue2's picture
Joined: 06/03/2009
MGoPoints: 7077

Best arrest ever.

wolverineliberationarmy.com/blog

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May 31st, 2012 at 4:25 PM | Honestly (Score:2)
JeepinBen
JeepinBen's picture
Joined: 01/22/2010
MGoPoints: 9577

I hope this makes an EDSBS Fulmer Cupdate. This deserves points (or negative points?) for utter hilarity. Picture a drunk guy trying to slide across the hood of a car. Now picture a 330lb drunk guy doing it... and the hood breaking.

Seriously, I hope it's on video. Has anyone checked ricksline.com yet? do they have archives?

"Over? Did you say, over? Nothing is over until we decide it is!"

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May 31st, 2012 at 3:58 PM | No man that large should ever (Score:2 Normal)
ken725
ken725's picture
Joined: 10/26/2008
MGoPoints: 4682

No man that large should ever try to slide across a hood of a car.

Greetings from Bolivia.

"It's special how the real true people hang together. And if you don't support the program you're not a true Michigan guy. It's that simple."  - Gary Moeller

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May 31st, 2012 at 4:00 PM | That's hilarious. Why is an (Score:5 Normal)
ShockFX
ShockFX's picture
Joined: 07/16/2008
MGoPoints: 3980

That's hilarious. Why is an arrest needed? He's of age, why can't they just ask him to pay to replace the hood before they arrest him. Seems like overkill.

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May 31st, 2012 at 4:03 PM | his birthday is July 6, 1991. (Score:4 Normal)
orobs
Joined: 10/03/2010
MGoPoints: 1734

his birthday is July 6, 1991.   So he's not of age

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June 1st, 2012 at 9:58 PM | Depends on where (Score:1)
MGoSoftball
MGoSoftball's picture
Joined: 10/18/2010
MGoPoints: 3664

he actually consumed said alcohol.  If he consumed it in Canada, then he is legal.

From the Red Cedar Message Board:  "God hates us."  Yes He does Lil Bro, yes he does.  Everyone hates you.

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May 31st, 2012 at 4:06 PM | Technically, he'll be of age (Score:3 Normal)
BostonWolverine
BostonWolverine's picture
Joined: 11/13/2008
MGoPoints: 2433

Technically, he'll be of age in July...that said, it seems to me that he should just have to replace the hood.

Was this stupid? Undoubtedly. A crime? Come on.

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May 31st, 2012 at 4:11 PM | only if it's on purpose.  If (Score:2 Normal)
orobs
Joined: 10/03/2010
MGoPoints: 1734

only if it's on purpose.  If your intention was to do something hilarious, it is not a crime.  

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May 31st, 2012 at 5:45 PM | Actually, if you're (Score:2 Normal)
FgoWolve
FgoWolve's picture
Joined: 03/16/2009
MGoPoints: 820

Actually, if you're hilariously smashing a camera (or car) you still do it on purpose. That means you had the necessary intent to commit a crime. For some reason, comedy is not a defense in our legal system. (although it totally should be).

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May 31st, 2012 at 6:10 PM | It's blowing my mind that you (Score:2 Normal)
orobs
Joined: 10/03/2010
MGoPoints: 1734

It's blowing my mind that you can't tell I was joking

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May 31st, 2012 at 6:03 PM | But intent is a big part of (Score:5 Normal)
reshp1
Joined: 10/31/2011
MGoPoints: 775

But intent is a big part of how crimes are charged, for example first degree murder vs manslaughter.

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May 31st, 2012 at 4:11 PM | Sure. You did that on (Score:4 Normal)
BostonWolverine
BostonWolverine's picture
Joined: 11/13/2008
MGoPoints: 2433

Sure. You did that on purpose, though. It sounds as though Will was trying to slide across the hood of the car. He was (predictably) not successful, but without willful intent, I don't see a crime.

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May 31st, 2012 at 4:25 PM | He didn't willfully intend to (Score:5 Normal)
BostonWolverine
BostonWolverine's picture
Joined: 11/13/2008
MGoPoints: 2433

He didn't willfully intend to jump onto property. His intent was to slide across it without damaging it. A better analogy for you would be that you were trying to pop the memory card out of my camera and dropped it on accident. You were attempting to do something that, when executed correctly, wouldn't cause any harm, but in the act of doing so, you accidentally caused the damage.

 

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May 31st, 2012 at 4:29 PM | Eh, I don't know about you, (Score:5 Normal)
Moleskyn
Moleskyn's picture
Joined: 06/28/2010
MGoPoints: 3238

Eh, I don't know about you, but I don't want anybody trying to slide across the hood of my car. No matter his intent, he shouldn't have attempted the feat in the first place. I doubt he would have tried the same thing if he had been sober.

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May 31st, 2012 at 4:32 PM | Oh, I agree completely. (Score:5 Normal)
BostonWolverine
BostonWolverine's picture
Joined: 11/13/2008
MGoPoints: 2433

Oh, I agree completely. That's why I think he should replace the hood.

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May 31st, 2012 at 6:31 PM | Completely Agree (Score:4 Normal)
Foote Fetish
Foote Fetish's picture
Joined: 05/12/2009
MGoPoints: 1822

I agree that 'intent' is not the issue.  The issue should be whether or not it was, in fact, objectively funny.  It doesn't matter if he was trying to be funny.  If it was not actually funny, then he should be charged for a crime.

Judging by the fact that Big Will was arrested, I would say he was not funny enough in his attempt to slide across the hood of a car.  Which in and of itself is a crime: wasting the endless comic possibilities of a drunk 300lb manchild playing Dukes of Hazard.

So, as you can see, we are in complete and total agreement.

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May 31st, 2012 at 8:15 PM | I'm sorry, but that makes (Score:4 Normal)
BostonWolverine
BostonWolverine's picture
Joined: 11/13/2008
MGoPoints: 2433

I'm sorry, but that makes absolutely no sense. The whole reason behind the felony charge is INTENT. To then go and say it had nothing to do with intent is completely contradictory. If it wasn't his intent, he is not guilty of a crime of intent. Period.

As far as the misdemeanor goes, I'll tell you what - if you break my camera, whether it's accidental or on purpose, justice will be served when you buy me a new one. No reason to file a report. Just buy me a new camera. No reason to bring the fuzz in. At worst, it's a matter for civil court.

Also, vehicular homicide is different from property damage. The comparison is invalid.

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June 1st, 2012 at 2:17 PM | You've given me a headache... (Score:1)
MGoSSI
MGoSSI's picture
Joined: 12/27/2011
MGoPoints: 11

And now I must drink 3 hrs earlier than was originally my intent for the day

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May 31st, 2012 at 4:34 PM | No doubt it's a lesser crime. (Score:3 Normal)
Ernis
Ernis's picture
Joined: 09/23/2008
MGoPoints: 2250

No doubt it's a lesser crime. I think the questioning, here, is more whether this seemingly reckless and accidental destruction of property rises to the level of a FELONY. Misdemeanor, sure, that makes sense... examples of misdemeanors: public intoxication, disorderly conduct, vandalism. Might these fit the bill? Should the kid really serve a 5 year prison sentence for what he did?

Doubtful that he would serve the maximum sentence, or perhaps even get convicted of the felony. But one would have to conclude that the AAPD, by virtue of their charging him with that level of crime, believe that such a sentence would be appropriate. And that, I vouch, is the reason for the head-scratching and questioning. That said, when all the facts come to light, maybe we'll have a different view.

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May 31st, 2012 at 5:10 PM | It's a property crime. (Score:2 Normal)
CalifExile
Joined: 03/02/2010
MGoPoints: 1342

The amount of damage makes it a felony. More than $1,000 makes it a felony. Less than $1,000 makes it a misdemeanor.

"After all was said and done, there was nothing left to do."

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May 31st, 2012 at 10:46 PM | See above (Score:2 Normal)
Ernis
Ernis's picture
Joined: 09/23/2008
MGoPoints: 2250

Fgowolve's response to my question regarding intent.

Perhaps the po-po are instructed to presume malicious intent and let the courts sort it all out. But that would be an incredibly inefficient use of the courts, and therefore should not be surprising if true.

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May 31st, 2012 at 4:37 PM | Your analogy makes no sense. (Score:4 Normal)
Callahan
Callahan's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 1972

Your analogy makes no sense. By tryiing to be funny by smashing the camera, you're still intentionally destroying the camera. By trying to be funny by sliding over a car hood, you're not intentionally smashing the hood. If he had climbed on top of the car and stomped on the hood over and over, you'd have a much better argument.

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May 31st, 2012 at 4:49 PM | So which one of the two posters above me (Score:5 Normal)
M-Wolverine
M-Wolverine's picture
Joined: 10/04/2009
MGoPoints: 39229

is going to shoot first?

"I love him, he's a great coach, he's a great mentor, he's a great friend. He's every single thing you want a college coach to be, and he does it flawlessly." -David Molk

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May 31st, 2012 at 6:02 PM | I believe them lawyer types (Score:4 Normal)
club_med
club_med's picture
Joined: 05/20/2010
MGoPoints: 319

I believe them lawyer types refer to it as a "reasonable person" standard.

the crowds on the shore will always yell "Let's Go Blue."

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May 31st, 2012 at 6:10 PM | Intent (Score:1)
FgoWolve
FgoWolve's picture
Joined: 03/16/2009
MGoPoints: 820

Criminal intent is not based on intended outcome. It's based on intended action. Theoretically, Campbell fully intended to jump and slide over that car. There's your criminal intent right there. It just so happened that his intentional action damaged the car. He didn't intend to do that, but he did anyway. A proper defense would be that, someone pushed him and it knocked him against the car, damaging it. In that case, he did not intend to make contact with the car. You do intend contact with the car when you think it would be funny to slide across it.

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May 31st, 2012 at 6:30 PM | caveat: (Score:2)
Erik_in_Dayton
Erik_in_Dayton's picture
Joined: 12/03/2008
MGoPoints: 6798

Sometimes the action is the outcome, such as the "taking of a life." 

It's tough to make predictions, especially about the future. -- Yogi Berra

                         

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June 1st, 2012 at 9:25 AM | "Campbell fully intended to (Score:2 Normal)
Aequitas
Aequitas's picture
Joined: 09/22/2008
MGoPoints: 709

"Campbell fully intended to jump and slide over that car. There's your criminal intent right there."

Whut?

"Do not disturb my circles."
 

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May 31st, 2012 at 8:04 PM | I think a better analogy (Score:1)
marti221
Joined: 04/21/2010
MGoPoints: 538

I think a better analogy would be: Man thinks it would be funny to take camera and take a pic of his back fat. In the process, he drops and breaks the $1000+ camera. Intention was not to cause any damage or commit any crime. I'm not a lawyer obviously, nor do I know how this sort of thing works. This just seems like a case where intention should come into play somewhat.

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May 31st, 2012 at 4:43 PM | Just don't ever try to make (Score:3 Normal)
Blue In NC
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Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 522

Just don't ever try to make it as a criminal defense attorney, OK?

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June 1st, 2012 at 2:05 PM | I think technically that's (Score:3 Normal)
BostonWolverine
BostonWolverine's picture
Joined: 11/13/2008
MGoPoints: 2433

I think technically that's called a plea of "No Contest."

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May 31st, 2012 at 4:35 PM | The police apparently (Score:0 Normal)
BlueGoM
BlueGoM's picture
Joined: 08/25/2009
MGoPoints: 2845

The police apparently disagree with you, considering they arrested him.

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May 31st, 2012 at 4:46 PM | ...because the police are (Score:2 Normal)
Elmer
Elmer's picture
Joined: 04/22/2011
MGoPoints: 2178

...because the police are always correct?  They never go overboard, just ask Rodney King.

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May 31st, 2012 at 4:17 PM | Something about intent maybe (Score:3 Normal)
bluebyyou
Joined: 09/07/2009
MGoPoints: 2711

Something about intent maybe worth considering and how it fits in criminal law.

Stupid act by a college kid which our fine Ann Arbor police, using notroiously bad judgement, then become overly zealous and charge a kid with a felony. Good God. 

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May 31st, 2012 at 4:38 PM | Over zealous?  nope, the (Score:4 Normal)
BlueGoM
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Joined: 08/25/2009
MGoPoints: 2845

Over zealous?  nope, the norm.  This country is jail-happy,  and its very easy to be charged with multiple crimes for even the simplest of supposed offenses.   And I'm not talking about pot, either.

 

 

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May 31st, 2012 at 4:07 PM | I have no idea what the (Score:2)
wile_e8
wile_e8's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 2516

I have no idea what the details are right now, but when they come out I think it'll be pretty likely that BWC wasn't exactly hanging around the scene offering to fix the damage, necessitating the police involvment. Woo baseless speculation.

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May 31st, 2012 at 4:01 PM | At least (Score:4 Normal)
Kermits Blue Key
Joined: 09/04/2010
MGoPoints: 463

At least he didn't try to jump a gulley.

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May 31st, 2012 at 4:12 PM | There's always a silver (Score:5 Normal)
DIABEETUS
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Joined: 09/29/2009
MGoPoints: 2322

There's always a silver lining.

Michigan: 903–315–36 (Best in NCAA)
vs Ohio State: 58-44-6
vs Notre Dame: 23-16-1
vs MSU:  68-32-5
vs B1G: 522-197-24
vs SEC:  20-8-1
vs PAC 12: 48-24-1
vs Big 12: 10-5-1<

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May 31st, 2012 at 4:51 PM | So you're saying the arresting officer was... (Score:3 Normal)
M-Wolverine
M-Wolverine's picture
Joined: 10/04/2009
MGoPoints: 39229

"I love him, he's a great coach, he's a great mentor, he's a great friend. He's every single thing you want a college coach to be, and he does it flawlessly." -David Molk

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May 31st, 2012 at 4:01 PM | seatbelt unbuckled, wheeew.   (Score:1)
robbyt003
robbyt003's picture
Joined: 10/25/2010
MGoPoints: 2625

seatbelt unbuckled, wheeew.  

“When your team is winning, be ready to be tough, because winning can make you soft. On the other hand, when your team is losing, stick by them. Keep believing” - Bo Schembechler

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May 31st, 2012 at 4:03 PM | I will pay a king's ransom (Score:5 Normal)
bronxblue
Joined: 11/22/2008
MGoPoints: 12618

I will pay a king's ransom for this youtube clip.

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May 31st, 2012 at 4:03 PM | Did he have a bow and arrow with dynamite strapped on? (Score:1)
jmdblue
Joined: 12/01/2010
MGoPoints: 670

I doubt he could fit through the window.

We're gonna play with toughness, we're gonna be responsible and we're gonna play with toughness.  This is Michigan.

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May 31st, 2012 at 4:10 PM | If they both roll down and there is no B pillar... (Score:3 Normal)
LSA Aught One
Joined: 08/24/2011
MGoPoints: 891

Now all he has to do is worry about lifting his legs high enough while wearing the skin tight jeans.

 

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May 31st, 2012 at 4:23 PM | How much moonshine? (Score:3 Normal)
jmdblue
Joined: 12/01/2010
MGoPoints: 670

How much moonshine does it take to get a man-child that size to attempt to slide across a hood?  Did he scream Yee-Haw?  How hard did Greg Mattison laugh about this the instant the door slammed post-ass-reaming?  So many questions left unanswered.

Stupid oughta hurt...I'm guessing it will in this case.

We're gonna play with toughness, we're gonna be responsible and we're gonna play with toughness.  This is Michigan.

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May 31st, 2012 at 4:04 PM | This does seem a little like (Score:3 Normal)
Lionsfan
Lionsfan's picture
Joined: 06/03/2011
MGoPoints: 3945

This does seem a little like overkill...hopefully it's not the same DA as last time

If you're doing nothing, how do you know when you're finished?

StraightDave owes me a steak dinner

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May 31st, 2012 at 4:04 PM | So I'm guessing it wasn't his (Score:2)
blacknblue
Joined: 06/18/2009
MGoPoints: 424

So I'm guessing it wasn't his car or the car of anybody he knew.

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May 31st, 2012 at 4:12 PM | It was Pryors (Score:5 Normal)
trueblue262
trueblue262's picture
Joined: 07/01/2008
MGoPoints: 2030

His insurance would not cover becuse it had expired........but his mom still has a heated house though!

GRwolverine73

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May 31st, 2012 at 4:06 PM | Good to see (Score:-1 Overrated)
WestWolverine
WestWolverine's picture
Joined: 11/03/2008
MGoPoints: 92

He took all of that SEAL leadership training to heart. I understand he's young and "we all did stupid stuff" but the training wasn't even a week ago. 

I once had to comfort Cap'n Crunch after he had been sailing for 7 years only to come home to his wife in bed with Count Chocula.

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May 31st, 2012 at 4:10 PM | you're mistaken (Score:5 Normal)
leftrare
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 558

It happened about 8 weeks ago, actually a week before the spring game.

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May 31st, 2012 at 4:13 PM | Yeah, and the auto-abuse was (Score:2)
Blue since birth
Joined: 12/24/2009
MGoPoints: 1080

Yeah, and the auto-abuse was almost two months ago.

Edit- Too slow.

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May 31st, 2012 at 6:25 PM | Yes (Score:3 Normal)
Foote Fetish
Foote Fetish's picture
Joined: 05/12/2009
MGoPoints: 1822

Hopefully the SEALs taught him the proper way to slide across the roof of a car.

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