When Men Were Men, Don Draper Was Pimp, And Michigan Was Terrible Comment Count

Brian

draper

It is a grim, cold morning in December of 2009, and Michigan's basketball team has essentially closed the door on its tournament chances by losing to a 4-4 WAC team consisting entirely of guys who got to the game via beanstalk. The hockey team languishes at .500 and escaped the basement of the CCHA by squeezing by a bad Ohio State team last weekend; they're not out of things entirely but it's looking grim for them as well. And the football team's promising start spun into a 1-7 Big Ten tailspin that had half a state reaching for whiskey, a gun, or both.

We are low. My main thought this morning was "how far back to you have to go to find Michigan fans as miserable as we are?" 1984 was the only plausible candidate that popped into my mind: the football team limped to 6-6 and the hockey team was still struggling through the first few years of the Red era. This was my guess on WTKA this morning, but Craig Ross emailed to remind/inform us that in '84-'85 the basketball team was 26-4 and Bill Frieder was the national coach of the year. That football team was also hamstrung by one obvious deficiency caused by injury, and it made a bowl. So that's out.

It was pointless to even look at other years in the Bo/Mo/Llo era, so it was back to the 60s we went, and after a couple of false positives (1967 featured a hockey team that was pretty good and made the tournament) I found it. The last year of equal misery. (Requirements: no tournaments  for hockey and basketball and football goes under .500.)

Ladies and gentlemen, 1962-63:

Hockey

Season Coach Overall Pct. Conf. Record Pct. Place Tourn. Postseason
1962-63 Al Renfrew 7-14-3 .354 WCHA 3-14-3 .225 7th -- --
Big Ten 0-6-2 .125 3rd --

Basketball

1962-63 Season
Choose the game you want to display
Choose # Opponent Date Location W/L Attend.
1 Ball State December 1, 1962 Yost Field House W-68-58 3,800
2 Creighton December 3, 1962 Yost Field House W-81-62 3,700
3 Butler December 7, 1962 Yost Field House L-69-70 5,500
4 TCU December 13, 1962 Yost Field House W-82-60 3,600
5 at Evansville December 15, 1962 W-73-64 8,419
6 San Jose State December 19, 1962 W-66-52 0
7 Houston December 21, 1962 W-90-88 4,600
8 at Texas A&M December 22, 1962 W-82-79 4,000
9 Yale December 29, 1962 Yost Field House W-82-71 2,600
10 Northwestern January 5, 1963 Yost Field House W-78-75 6,600
11 Iowa January 7, 1963 W-88-67 7,500
12 at Ohio State January 12, 1963 L-66-68 13,497
13 Minnesota January 14, 1963 Yost Field House L-63-66 6,700
14 at Detroit January 30, 1963 Detroit, Michigan L-70-83 7,134
15 at Michigan State February 2, 1963 East Lansing, Michigan W-72-71 10,577
16 Wisconsin February 4, 1963 Yost Field House L-78-81 9,100
17 Indiana February 9, 1963 Yost Field House W-90-86 8,600
18 Ohio State February 16, 1963 Yost Field House L-68-75 9,775
19 at Northwestern February 18, 1963 L-62-63 4,000
20 at Purdue February 23, 1963 Lafayette, Indiana W-71-53 7,841
21 Iowa February 25, 1963 Yost Field House W-78-70 4,600
22 Illinois March 2, 1963 Yost Field House W-84-81 9,450
23 at Indiana March 4, 1963 L-96-104 5,351
24 at Wisconsin March 9, 1963 W-82-80 7,835

Record 16-8 (8-6)

That's not terrible but it wasn't enough to make the 25(!) member NCAA field.

Football

1962-Michigan (Big Ten)

9/29 vs. Nebraska (9-2) L 13 25
10/6 vs. Army (6-4) W 17 7
10/13 @ *Michigan State (5-4) L 0 28
10/20 @ *Purdue (4-4-1) L 0 37
10/27 vs. *Minnesota (6-2-1) L 0 17
11/3 vs. *Wisconsin (8-2) L 12 34
11/10 vs. *Illinois (2-7) W 14 10
11/17 @ *Iowa (4-5) L 14 28
11/24 @ *Ohio State (6-3) L 0 28
 

2-7-0

  70 214

So there you go: anyone under about 57 has never experienced anything like what it looks like is going to go down this year. The last time this happened Don Draper's wife loved him.

For what it's worth, hockey won the national title the next year, basketball would make the Final Four with Cazzie Russell at the helm, and football would… uh… go 3-4-2. Two out of three ain't bad.

Comments

mbrummer

December 10th, 2009 at 11:38 AM ^

I'm not completely sure, but in the 1960's I thought you had to win your conference to go to the NCAA. Therefore even if the team was good, if it wasn't the best in conference, No NCAA for you.

Looking at the bracket, it seems it could be true, except that the Pac -10 at the time would get 3 schools in. Only one Big 10 team got in, Illinois, and I'm too lazy to look up what comprised the other conferences.

rdlwolverine

December 10th, 2009 at 12:07 PM ^

It wasn't until 1975 when the NCAA first permitted two teams from the same conference to participate in the NCAA tournament. Michigan was 12-6 in conference that year and got a bid, finishing behind 18-0 Indiana. Michigan lost in the first round to eventual champion UCLA in overtime.

zlionsfan

December 10th, 2009 at 1:04 PM ^

I highly recommend the Final Four book from the NCAA. It has all this stuff in it.

For example, if you turn to page 140 in the 2009 version, you'll see that in 1963, Arizona State was part of the WAC (Arizona and Arizona State didn't join what's now the Pac-10 until the mid- or late '70s, I remember the Pac-8 growing up) and Oregon State was an independent (which surprises me).

By 1966, Oregon State had joined the AAWU (a previous name of the Pac-8, I assume) ... bad luck for them. I'm guessing they joined in '65, because they missed the tournament then, appeared in the Texas Western year ('66), and aren't seen again until ... hey, 1975, after the ACC rule was put into effect (because of the ACC championship between NC State and Maryland in '74, basically knocking the #2 team in the country out of the NCAA tournament).

1978-79 apparently was when Arizona and Arizona State joined ... the conference's name changes to Pacific-10 from Pacific-8.

I love that book. Can we talk about Cazzie Russell now?

bjk

December 10th, 2009 at 6:42 PM ^

a Big-10 thing, like the no-two-successive-years-in-the-Rose-Bowl rule for football through 1971? USC repeated over and over again during those years. (Meanwhile, the OSU faculty council kept the B-10 champion Buckeyes home after the 1961 season in order to keep things in perspective. Can you imagine that happening anywhere today? Yes, the responsible faculty members were harassed afterword.)

Hannibal.

December 10th, 2009 at 11:33 AM ^

1984 was pretty bad. Even without the Harbaugh injury, Michigan wasn't a very good team. Before Harbaugh got hurt, we got our asses kicked by Washington at home and IIRC MSU was leading us when he went down in that game.

jamiemac

December 10th, 2009 at 11:50 AM ^

I kinda agree that even if Harbaugh had played all year, it was not a Rose Bowl worthy squad, but they werent awful either.

They started the year beating top ranked and defending national champs Miami. The MSU game was close, but UM was losing when harbuagh went down, so I'd like to think they could have won the second half and the game had he played.

Even with him, however, i dont think they could hold a cnadle to the Iowa or OSU teams that season.

Hoops was amazing that season.

bluebyyou

December 10th, 2009 at 11:35 AM ^

So much for another dong punch....thanks, I needed that. Rolling in the fetal position is how I like to start every day.

Maybe we should talk about Michigan academics? Might bring back some painful memories for some of us, but that, at least, remains excellent.

BlockM

December 10th, 2009 at 11:36 AM ^

We've talked about what we want to call this year on the board before, but my vote is for:

The Year of Academic Compensation.

The explanation is simple. The only thing we can bring up in a discussion about which university is superior at this point is the fact that the academics at Michigan are top-notch. And women's volleyball, I suppose.

pukhog19

December 10th, 2009 at 11:50 AM ^

I know not everyone that is a Michigan fan cares about Detroit sports as much as I do, but for those that do, this is even worse because the Tigers just lost the Division after leading since May on the last game of the season (a record), the Lions continue to be the worst franchise in the NFL, the Red Wings are having their worst season in decades with no end to the injuries in sight, and the Pistons are struggling through their re-building phase with 3 of their top 5-6 players injured. This year makes considering '"When it rains, it pours" is a complete understatement' a complete understatement.

There is no escape anywhere.

UM Indy

December 10th, 2009 at 11:53 AM ^

wondering the same thing - when were all three sports so bad. Depressing.

I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with the hoops team. Talent has increased from last year with Morris and Vogrich, but they're young. Can losing Lee and Merritt really be the difference? I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around that, but what else is different?

sharkhunter

December 10th, 2009 at 11:54 AM ^

I still can't believe NW, Minn and msu are going bowl games getting national coverage and M is not. Can't watch ESPN, am sick of the bowl stories, Heisman race, BCS and now can't even enjoy UM bb.

jamiemac

December 10th, 2009 at 11:55 AM ^

Good post and nice history lesson.

Although the door is hardly closed on the hoops tourney chances. They have an entire league slate with at least one chance a week to get a resume win.

I know it looks bleak now, but there is still a lot of season left. Teams in UM's position right now end up making the field every year.....but, boy oh boy, JB needs to find a way to turn it around......right now, they dont seem capable of playing a full 40-minute game.

So, I am a little down on the team right now and down on their tourney chances just based on the way they're playing, but that does not mean a legit road map still does not exist to make the field.

I guess Bubble News aint going away after all.

His Dudeness

December 10th, 2009 at 12:14 PM ^

On a more positive note, I just found a caramel in my pocket and only one side has the wrapper torn away! So I can just bite the other side. MMMMMmmmmmm that is one good half caramel.

number63

December 10th, 2009 at 12:03 PM ^

that the basketball team can get things turned around. One has to believe that eventually at least a few of those missed shots (especially from the 3-point line) will start falling. I mean, that sub-30% 3-point FG percentage can't continue for the rest of the season, can it?

Don

December 10th, 2009 at 1:19 PM ^

It sure as hell can. This team is what it is, which is the same thing both of Beilein's previous two Michigan squads have been: the worst-shooting team in the Big Ten. Go to the Big Ten website and look up the stats from the last two seasons and this year for overall FG % and 3-pt %.

And then combine it with worst-in-the-conference rebounding and horrible overall defense this year, and you've got a recipe for a team that won't even make the NIT.

Lord help us. If things don't get markedly better soon Beilein's offseason will suck just a little less than RR's.

BornInAA

December 10th, 2009 at 12:10 PM ^

flood plain, when the river of losses finally swells and inundates our homes and living rooms?
Leaving only raw sewage to view on our HD-flats?

Hopefully this river of losses recedes and follows it's normal path in the Ohio valley area...

turbo cool

December 10th, 2009 at 12:13 PM ^

I'm ashamed that already this early in the season I don't bother watching the bball games for fear of us getting embarassed.

On a side note, any word on when the next AD will be named?

jtblue

December 10th, 2009 at 12:17 PM ^

As I listened to David Merritt speak of a lack of back-court leadership I could not believe how much I missed him and CJ Lee...unexpected, profound - but true. Do we really have to wait for signing day for our next shot of hope?

michelin

December 10th, 2009 at 12:41 PM ^


CLIMATE
July 1 – A heavy smog develops over London.
• .July 28 – A locust swarm threatens New Delhi.

• September 1 – Typhoon Wanda strikes Hong Kong, killing at least 130 and wounding more than 600.

• December 22 – "Big Freeze" in Britain: There are no frost-free nights until March 5, 1963.

• December 30 – An unexpected storm buries Maine under five feet of snow, forcing the Bangor Daily News to miss a publication date for the first and only time in history.


• EVENTS

• January 26 – Ranger 3 is launched to study the Moon; it later misses the Moon by 22,000 miles (three months later, Ranger 4 crashes into the moon).

• January 30 – Two of the high-wire "Flying Wallendas" are killed, when their famous 7-person pyramid collapses during a performance in Detroit, Michigan.
• September 26 – Civil war erupts in Yemen.

• September 30 – CBS broadcasts the final episodes of Suspense and Yours Truly, Johnny Dollar, marking the end of the Golden Age of Radio.

• October 14 – Cuban Missile Crisis begins: A U-2 flight over Cuba takes photos of Soviet nuclear weapons being installed. A stand-off then ensues the next day between the United States and the Soviet Union, threatening the world with nuclear war.

• December 11 – The last execution by hanging takes place in Canada.

• .
• PEOPLE

• June 11 – Frank Morris, John Anglin and Clarence Anglin become the only apparently successful escapees from the Alcatraz Island prison. There is no conclusive evidence that they survived the attempt.

• August 4 – Marilyn Monroe accidentally overdoses on a mix of sedatives and Champagne a few hours before midnight.

• August 5 – The South African government arrests Nelson Mandela in Howick, and charges him with incitement to rebellion.

• November 28 – Former queen Wilhelmina of the Netherlands dies, aged 82.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1962

michelin

December 10th, 2009 at 12:45 PM ^

• Undated: American advertising man Martin K. Speckter invents the interrobang, a new English-language punctuation mark.

January 1 – Western Samoa becomes independent from New Zealand.

January 1 – The Beatles have their first and only audition for Decca Records

February 15 – Urho Kekkonen is re-elected president of Finland

March 2 – Wilt Chamberlain scores 100 points in a single NBA basketball game.

May – The Hulk debuts with The Incredible Hulk #1 by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby.

May 1 – Dayton Hudson Corporation opens the first of its Target discount stores in Roseville, Minnesota.

June 30 – The last soldiers of the French Foreign Legion leave Algeria.

July 2 – The first Wal-Mart store opens for business in Rogers, Arkansas.

July 12 – The Rolling Stones make their debut at London's Marquee Club.

July 19 – The First Annual Swiss & Wielder Hoop and Stick Tournament is held.

August 10 – Marvel Comics publishes Amazing Fantasy #15, which features the superhero character of Spider-Man

November 3 – The term "personal computer" is first mentioned by the media.

Wolverine In Exile

December 10th, 2009 at 12:50 PM ^

Can we get a liveblog of the tourney in Syracuse and the first round game against Rochester Institute of Technology? Oh GOD NO!

BTW-- At least we still have our favorite, world respected golfer Tiger Woods to cheer for. Man, if somebody had it all going for him with his sports skill, hot wife, children in good health..... WHHHHAAAAA????????