When Men Were Men, Don Draper Was Pimp, And Michigan Was Terrible
It is a grim, cold morning in December of 2009, and Michigan's basketball team has essentially closed the door on its tournament chances by losing to a 4-4 WAC team consisting entirely of guys who got to the game via beanstalk. The hockey team languishes at .500 and escaped the basement of the CCHA by squeezing by a bad Ohio State team last weekend; they're not out of things entirely but it's looking grim for them as well. And the football team's promising start spun into a 1-7 Big Ten tailspin that had half a state reaching for whiskey, a gun, or both.
We are low. My main thought this morning was "how far back to you have to go to find Michigan fans as miserable as we are?" 1984 was the only plausible candidate that popped into my mind: the football team limped to 6-6 and the hockey team was still struggling through the first few years of the Red era. This was my guess on WTKA this morning, but Craig Ross emailed to remind/inform us that in '84-'85 the basketball team was 26-4 and Bill Frieder was the national coach of the year. That football team was also hamstrung by one obvious deficiency caused by injury, and it made a bowl. So that's out.
It was pointless to even look at other years in the Bo/Mo/Llo era, so it was back to the 60s we went, and after a couple of false positives (1967 featured a hockey team that was pretty good and made the tournament) I found it. The last year of equal misery. (Requirements: no tournaments for hockey and basketball and football goes under .500.)
Ladies and gentlemen, 1962-63:
Hockey
| Season | Coach | Overall | Pct. | Conf. | Record | Pct. | Place | Tourn. | Postseason |
| 1962-63 | Al Renfrew | 7-14-3 | .354 | WCHA | 3-14-3 | .225 | 7th | -- | -- |
| Big Ten | 0-6-2 | .125 | 3rd | -- | |||||
Basketball
| 1962-63 Season | |||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Choose the game you want to display | |||||||
| Choose | # | Opponent | Date | Location | W/L | Attend. | |
| 1 | Ball State | December 1, 1962 | Yost Field House | W-68-58 | 3,800 | ||
| 2 | Creighton | December 3, 1962 | Yost Field House | W-81-62 | 3,700 | ||
| 3 | Butler | December 7, 1962 | Yost Field House | L-69-70 | 5,500 | ||
| 4 | TCU | December 13, 1962 | Yost Field House | W-82-60 | 3,600 | ||
| 5 | at Evansville | December 15, 1962 | W-73-64 | 8,419 | |||
| 6 | San Jose State | December 19, 1962 | W-66-52 | 0 | |||
| 7 | Houston | December 21, 1962 | W-90-88 | 4,600 | |||
| 8 | at Texas A&M | December 22, 1962 | W-82-79 | 4,000 | |||
| 9 | Yale | December 29, 1962 | Yost Field House | W-82-71 | 2,600 | ||
| 10 | Northwestern | January 5, 1963 | Yost Field House | W-78-75 | 6,600 | ||
| 11 | Iowa | January 7, 1963 | W-88-67 | 7,500 | |||
| 12 | at Ohio State | January 12, 1963 | L-66-68 | 13,497 | |||
| 13 | Minnesota | January 14, 1963 | Yost Field House | L-63-66 | 6,700 | ||
| 14 | at Detroit | January 30, 1963 | Detroit, Michigan | L-70-83 | 7,134 | ||
| 15 | at Michigan State | February 2, 1963 | East Lansing, Michigan | W-72-71 | 10,577 | ||
| 16 | Wisconsin | February 4, 1963 | Yost Field House | L-78-81 | 9,100 | ||
| 17 | Indiana | February 9, 1963 | Yost Field House | W-90-86 | 8,600 | ||
| 18 | Ohio State | February 16, 1963 | Yost Field House | L-68-75 | 9,775 | ||
| 19 | at Northwestern | February 18, 1963 | L-62-63 | 4,000 | |||
| 20 | at Purdue | February 23, 1963 | Lafayette, Indiana | W-71-53 | 7,841 | ||
| 21 | Iowa | February 25, 1963 | Yost Field House | W-78-70 | 4,600 | ||
| 22 | Illinois | March 2, 1963 | Yost Field House | W-84-81 | 9,450 | ||
| 23 | at Indiana | March 4, 1963 | L-96-104 | 5,351 | |||
| 24 | at Wisconsin | March 9, 1963 | W-82-80 | 7,835 | |||
Record 16-8 (8-6)
That's not terrible but it wasn't enough to make the 25(!) member NCAA field.
Football
| 9/29 | vs. | Nebraska (9-2) | L | 13 | 25 | ||
| 10/6 | vs. | Army (6-4) | W | 17 | 7 | ||
| 10/13 | @ | *Michigan State (5-4) | L | 0 | 28 | ||
| 10/20 | @ | *Purdue (4-4-1) | L | 0 | 37 | ||
| 10/27 | vs. | *Minnesota (6-2-1) | L | 0 | 17 | ||
| 11/3 | vs. | *Wisconsin (8-2) | L | 12 | 34 | ||
| 11/10 | vs. | *Illinois (2-7) | W | 14 | 10 | ||
| 11/17 | @ | *Iowa (4-5) | L | 14 | 28 | ||
| 11/24 | @ | *Ohio State (6-3) | L | 0 | 28 | ||
|
2-7-0 |
70 | 214 | |||||
So there you go: anyone under about 57 has never experienced anything like what it looks like is going to go down this year. The last time this happened Don Draper's wife loved him.
For what it's worth, hockey won the national title the next year, basketball would make the Final Four with Cazzie Russell at the helm, and football would… uh… go 3-4-2. Two out of three ain't bad.
I haven't given up on hockey yet. Hockey has had a horrible start but the team normally starts slow (grant it not this slow) and then around the time of the GLI they start putting it together and go on a long winning streak. I am not saying this will happen but I have seen past Michigan Hockey teams do something similar.
GO BLUE!!!
"Michigan's basketball team has essentially closed the door on its tournament chances by losing to a 4-4 WAC team consisting entirely of guys who got to the game via beanstalk."
Utah is a Mountain West team, thank you very much.
We could still have a wining record in b10 Basketball. That would get us in to the big dance. Though I'm afraid this year will be a fight to get into the NIT.
Well, I'm too young to remember the 62-63 season, which is a good thing! I'm old enough to remember most of the Bo era!
expect the best
It's one thing for the 'big 3' sports to be terrible, but it seems much, much worse when 2 of them were supposed to be quite good, and there is no conceivable reason that they should be terrible. Results versus expectations this year must be the worst since well before the 60s.
Or, at least, it has a chance to be better. I don't prefer to count out hockey, yet. Or basketball, for that matter, though the tea leaves are wretched.
I thought, perhaps, 1958-59 might compete. We were 2-6-1 in football that year and after beating USC 20-19 we lost 6 of the next 8, though we did tie MSU. Hockey was also bad, the team finishing 8-13. But Bill Perigo had his best year in basketball 15-7 (8-6 BT).
1936-37 evinced a meatball football team (1-7) but hockey was quite good and my recall is that basketball had John Townsend and cranked out a really terrific (some might say "swell")year. I only saw a couple of those games, though.
So, in the taxonomy of awful major sports years this iteration is defintiely in the running for the worst ever. I doubt if it won't make it.
We could, perhaps, create an algorithm. It might be:
Football Win Rate times 45%
Basktball Win Rate times 31%
Hockey Win Rate times 24%
Add these up, find the lowest and, voila, worst year ever.
CR
It has really been depressing this year, I really hope we can bounce back soon.
does this mean we're going to the moon again soon? i mean seriously people. the moon? holy SHIT!
My father told me about things like this.
People also walked uphill both ways in the snow, and when they fumbled, were taken behind Section 3 and hacked to death with axes.
I always thought he just making shit up to make me feel like my generation had it easy. I never thought these things would come true!
This team is under construction. We thank you for your patience.
Mary Sue Ann
BM
RichRod
Beilin
and yes i can't spell
That BM was a terrible AD? That MSC (Mary Sue Ann who the hell is that) is a terrible president for all of this and that it is all their faults.
"A house divided against itself cannot stand"
There are no coincidences. If all three teams were in the top 10, that would not be a coincidence. If they all suck, that is similarly not a coincidence.
Needed a laugh after this post...before personally blaming Colin Cowherd for all of this somehow.
Laissez les bons temps rouler!
Nine games.
No bye weeks.
No crap opponents.
Only out-of-conference teams: nationally-ranked Nebraska, and Army.
No games before Labor Day.
Season done before Thanksgiving.
Michigan should be called the Wolver-Hee-Haws, ie. "if it weren't fer bad luck we'd have no luck at all"
I thought I had become numb to the pain after last year's debacle. I was incorrect. I feel numb again. But will it last?
What happens after two downer football years in a row?
1964-Michigan (Big Ten)
9-1-0
You never know.
BTW, RE "styling," these have my vote for the away unis. Call me a crustacean.
ask who he thinks the new Kentucky coach will be, and if Duck is a good candidate....
"2/3 ain't bad".
Honestly Brian et al I would kill for 1. That's all I want.
"A house divided against itself cannot stand"
I've reserved myself to signing day and baseball in the spring as the next sporting events other than my son's basketball games I look forward to watching.
I've never felt so horrible about watching sports on TV as I have this year. It's gotten to the point of apathy. I can't even get mad at the stunning underperformances anymore.
I can only imagine Manny is thinking, "I came back for this?"
............
Our helmets have wings
Let's hope he thinks, "There's no way I'm leaving like this" at the end of the season...
Which means I'm an old fuck, but I grew up listening to UM games with my Dad in the very early '60s and generally that meant listening to beatdowns by Sparty and Brutus as well as many other B10 teams. It's sort of a return to my childhood, and all without benefit of Alzheimer's.
RR's lack of family value and desire to have crappy defenses have even affected the Bball and Hockey teams. This is totally his fault. Hell, the 1962 teams were his fault, as well.
/sarcasm
If this was 1984, it would be "nose, meet cocaine spoon."
is the winter of our discontent.
marking his ascent to the throne.
What was Richard’s last name?
Rodriguez?
michelin
3 straight shutouts vs sparty, purdump, and minnesota? OUCH
Can we get a liveblog of the tourney in Syracuse and the first round game against Rochester Institute of Technology? Oh GOD NO!
BTW-- At least we still have our favorite, world respected golfer Tiger Woods to cheer for. Man, if somebody had it all going for him with his sports skill, hot wife, children in good health..... WHHHHAAAAA????????
"So I come out of Ohio Stadium after we beat the Buckeyes, and right there on the hood of my friend's car, some one took a dump, in the shape of an 'O'. no shit. Oh, sorry, bad pun."
we haven't lost to a 4-4 WAC team it was a MWC...both are bad news though, but at least the MWC is stronger that WAC.
I'm going to watch "The Wire" again. Just to make myself feel better.
•
CLIMATE
July 1 – A heavy smog develops over London.
• .July 28 – A locust swarm threatens New Delhi.
•
• September 1 – Typhoon Wanda strikes Hong Kong, killing at least 130 and wounding more than 600.
•
• December 22 – "Big Freeze" in Britain: There are no frost-free nights until March 5, 1963.
•
• December 30 – An unexpected storm buries Maine under five feet of snow, forcing the Bangor Daily News to miss a publication date for the first and only time in history.
•
•
• EVENTS
•
• January 26 – Ranger 3 is launched to study the Moon; it later misses the Moon by 22,000 miles (three months later, Ranger 4 crashes into the moon).
•
• January 30 – Two of the high-wire "Flying Wallendas" are killed, when their famous 7-person pyramid collapses during a performance in Detroit, Michigan.
• September 26 – Civil war erupts in Yemen.
•
• September 30 – CBS broadcasts the final episodes of Suspense and Yours Truly, Johnny Dollar, marking the end of the Golden Age of Radio.
• October 14 – Cuban Missile Crisis begins: A U-2 flight over Cuba takes photos of Soviet nuclear weapons being installed. A stand-off then ensues the next day between the United States and the Soviet Union, threatening the world with nuclear war.
•
• December 11 – The last execution by hanging takes place in Canada.
•
• .
• PEOPLE
•
• June 11 – Frank Morris, John Anglin and Clarence Anglin become the only apparently successful escapees from the Alcatraz Island prison. There is no conclusive evidence that they survived the attempt.
•
• August 4 – Marilyn Monroe accidentally overdoses on a mix of sedatives and Champagne a few hours before midnight.
•
• August 5 – The South African government arrests Nelson Mandela in Howick, and charges him with incitement to rebellion.
•
• November 28 – Former queen Wilhelmina of the Netherlands dies, aged 82.
•
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1962
michelin
• Undated: American advertising man Martin K. Speckter invents the interrobang, a new English-language punctuation mark.
•
January 1 – Western Samoa becomes independent from New Zealand.
•
January 1 – The Beatles have their first and only audition for Decca Records
•
February 15 – Urho Kekkonen is re-elected president of Finland
•
March 2 – Wilt Chamberlain scores 100 points in a single NBA basketball game.
•
May – The Hulk debuts with The Incredible Hulk #1 by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby.
•
May 1 – Dayton Hudson Corporation opens the first of its Target discount stores in Roseville, Minnesota.
•
June 30 – The last soldiers of the French Foreign Legion leave Algeria.
•
July 2 – The first Wal-Mart store opens for business in Rogers, Arkansas.
•
July 12 – The Rolling Stones make their debut at London's Marquee Club.
•
July 19 – The First Annual Swiss & Wielder Hoop and Stick Tournament is held.
•
August 10 – Marvel Comics publishes Amazing Fantasy #15, which features the superhero character of Spider-Man
•
November 3 – The term "personal computer" is first mentioned by the media.
michelin
for another 50 years.
"...there's no excuse for the slander, but what's good for the goose is *still* good for the gander." -Dead Prez
At least we can look forward to watching the Tigers next spring.
Wait ... nevermind.
the Wings and Pistons. Ah, crap.
Uh, how's the swim team look?
"Nobody’s a perfect person in the world. Everyone kills people, murders people, steals from you, steals from me"
http://stewartj76.blogspot.com
As I listened to David Merritt speak of a lack of back-court leadership I could not believe how much I missed him and CJ Lee...unexpected, profound - but true. Do we really have to wait for signing day for our next shot of hope?
Tai Streets is still open...
+1 for the Jim Price reference.
Dan: "Today's Belle Tire Power Alley player is Cindy from Flint."
Jim: "Nice area."
I'm ashamed that already this early in the season I don't bother watching the bball games for fear of us getting embarassed.
On a side note, any word on when the next AD will be named?
i only respect other superfans
flood plain, when the river of losses finally swells and inundates our homes and living rooms?
Leaving only raw sewage to view on our HD-flats?
Hopefully this river of losses recedes and follows it's normal path in the Ohio valley area...
cotton headed ninny muggins
Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?
that the basketball team can get things turned around. One has to believe that eventually at least a few of those missed shots (especially from the 3-point line) will start falling. I mean, that sub-30% 3-point FG percentage can't continue for the rest of the season, can it?
Isn't that what we said about turnovers in football at the end of last year?
It sure as hell can. This team is what it is, which is the same thing both of Beilein's previous two Michigan squads have been: the worst-shooting team in the Big Ten. Go to the Big Ten website and look up the stats from the last two seasons and this year for overall FG % and 3-pt %.
And then combine it with worst-in-the-conference rebounding and horrible overall defense this year, and you've got a recipe for a team that won't even make the NIT.
Lord help us. If things don't get markedly better soon Beilein's offseason will suck just a little less than RR's.
its unreasonably cold right now.
You play to win the game
On a more positive note, I just found a caramel in my pocket and only one side has the wrapper torn away! So I can just bite the other side. MMMMMmmmmmm that is one good half caramel.
or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.
The men's club lacrosse team should be excellent again this year. That's all I got.
Good post and nice history lesson.
Although the door is hardly closed on the hoops tourney chances. They have an entire league slate with at least one chance a week to get a resume win.
I know it looks bleak now, but there is still a lot of season left. Teams in UM's position right now end up making the field every year.....but, boy oh boy, JB needs to find a way to turn it around......right now, they dont seem capable of playing a full 40-minute game.
So, I am a little down on the team right now and down on their tourney chances just based on the way they're playing, but that does not mean a legit road map still does not exist to make the field.
I guess Bubble News aint going away after all.
College Basketball Commentary at www.justcoverblog.com
God Bless Your Cotton Pickin' Maize & Blue Hearts
Does that mean you'll keep posting your basketball diaries?
Does that mean you'll keep posting your basketball diaries?
I still can't believe NW, Minn and msu are going bowl games getting national coverage and M is not. Can't watch ESPN, am sick of the bowl stories, Heisman race, BCS and now can't even enjoy UM bb.