Mike Lantry, 1972
Nihilism factor EXTREME operative principle engage embed engage emb—
Oh my God. Make it stop. The Greg Paulus story has blossomed into the largest, most annoying complete non-story I've ever had the privilege to follow on the internet. I intended to fire and forget the post on his possible transfer with maybe an update along the lines of "hey, we might not have to play Nick Sheridan at any point this year, but then again he's actually played football sometime in the last four years so maybe he'll still be in front of Paulus."
No such luck. My feed reader over the past few days has been updated with a million breathless updates about The Man Who Will Compete With Sheridan. It's been heavily featured on Sportscenter, PTI, and every other show where people yammer about sports. And for what?
Again: we are talking about a person who is not obviously better than Sheridan and hasn't played football seriously in the last four years. People are digging up breathless scouting reports about what a freakin' incredible quarterback he is, but this isn't like LeBron James suddenly had an epiphany and decided he'd play football. Paulus is a 6'2" pocket passer who hasn't read a defense in four years. He doesn't fit the offense. He has no long term future. He will be at least six months behind Tate Forcier when he steps on campus.
Barring injury, what are the chances Paulus ever sees a meaningful snap at Michigan? There are none. What is the downside of allowing Paulus to walk-on and play at quarterback? There is none. You cannot bar injury, after all.
When Nick Sheridan went down with an injury, I'm sure Tate Forcier took on the mentality of a starting quarterback and began to take command of the huddle and build trust with the first team offense almost immediately. Now he has to look over and see a guy with a huge reputation and the immediate support of the Wolverine nation (as Mike said, they're already selling "Paulus for Heisman" shirts).
You too, gibbering Matt Hayes:
The guy who played point guard for Duke the past four seasons, who hadn't picked up a football in four years before, you know, getting his arm loose recently, could be the starting quarterback at Michigan this fall.
Maybe it's not really a red flag.
Maybe it's time to panic.
Hayes later name checks "walk-on" David Cone. Argh. Someone stop this man from having opinions. Offering Greg Paulus a walk-on spot is a perfectly sensible thing to do when you have three scholarship quarterbacks on campus and one of them is the Coner. It means nothing.
So why are we talking about this? Because Paulus was an annoying, bad point guard at Duke. This has no relevance to his football career except insofar as it's barred him from having one. But it's engaged the dread gears of the sports pundit noise machine because it's weird and everyone kind of hates Paulus for being a privileged white kid at Duke. And then people start talking about the noise itself and everything builds and I become very, very cross, and it all gets very meta and even dumber.
GREG PAULUS HAS WHAT PLANTS CRAVE. GREG PAULUS MAKES YOU WIN AT YELLING. GREIFNEFISSHSFIGHSING ISNEGH ISFIVN IWEWJNFIWN!!!
this is the most annoying bit of non-news evah.
Fueling the story of course is the Tate Files transcript, which can now be spun into "RR is lying to Tate" "RR is panicking" by the M and RR hating media.
Of course, anyone who has paid any attention to RR has heard him say taht he wants competition at every position. Why would he not let another person come in and "compete." I dont know if he ever said it with Pat White (I bet he did), but the QB's coming here better get used to it. RR believes in "competition."
Tate would be advised to just state that "Tate is only worried about Tate" or some other vanilla cliche, and maybe had he done so there would not be 14 threads on the board about it, but this story cannot go away soon enough.
RR probably didnt see this coming, but he can put a stop to this by setting the record straight.
is full of idiots and porn. That's about it!
(mgoblog excluded, of course)
During the season when Tate takes his nth hit from a 250 lb Big Ten linebacker and he's slow to get up.
The camera won't pan to Sheridan warming up, it will pan to Paulus.
Therefore I won't hear The Undertaker's song in my head and Jim Ross screaming, "Good God!! It's the Undertaker's music."
Thus, I might be able to hold onto my last strands of my sanity.
But otherwise +3 Brian for being intelligent.
Privileged white kids play basketball at Duke? Since when?
Normally, I'd say that competition is good, if it were, say a sophomore, or another incoming freshman. But this is someone who is going to leave at the end of the football season (at least from a sports perspective).
Let's suspend reality for a minute and say that this guy "wins" the starting job. We basically have a frosh QB (except this gets to be an older frosh, think Chris Weinke) but he will be gone after this year.
News flash: We already have an incoming frosh QB that is seen by many as the future of this team. We need him to gain experience so that he can be a better sophomore, junior, and senior QB.
Think about it this way. If Paulus (in his final year of elgibility) had come during Henne's freshman year, would you have played him over Henne? (Can I get a resounding NO?)
So Mr. Paulus, the University of Michigan is an excellent school. Their graduate programs are excellent. If you would like to come here for academics, that is quite excellent and we all encourage that. Also, if this means that we can avoid seeing DEATH warm up on the sideline in the unfortunate event of an injury to Tate, that's even better for us. But don't come here simply to play football for a year.
Now, I've got better things to do.
/back to the cave
I'm beginning to think "Paulus" is some foreign word meaning "one who is relentlessly overhyped."
Do you think Beano Cook will suggest he can win 4 straight Heismans until someone points out he only has one year of eligibility?
The OP wants to have it both ways. He subtly argues that there's nothing wrong with letting Paulus onto the team, yet he insists Paulus won't make a difference. That's fallacious. No one joins a team knowing they won't play. And even the idea of allowing Paulus to try out does make a difference. It means RR has little confidence in the QBs right now. Think about it, if RR had confidence in Forcier, he would have told Paulus precisely what Cutcliffe told Paulus, get lost you have no chance to play QB. The mere possibility, then, is a sign of no confidence on the current lot of QBs.
And can you really blame him? If anything comes of this, it's that the whole world knows just how immature Tate Forcier is right now. The kid threw the most annoying hissy fit I've ever seen, worrying about a guy who hasn't played in 4 years and who in any event would only be here for one season. Do you really think that immaturity will magically produce effective performance on the field. I doubt it. And I for one can't wait for DRob to arrive on campus and seriously compete at least to share the QB responsibilities. So far as I know he hasn't thrown a hissy fit over the story.
Maybe this was a test. Maybe RR did this intentionally to see how Tate would react. Surely you will concede that Tate has reacted childishly, senselessly offering his incomprehensible comments to the world when he should have just closed his mouth or if he had to say something say he welcomed the competition. Wasn't he the recruit who wasn't afraid of competition? You can't bury the Forcier reaction here. It has profound effects not just for next year, but for following years. I am seriously starting to doubt whether or not Forcier is a viable long term option.
Or maybe, just maybe, RR is talking a shot on a kid thinking he can be Chris Weinke. Keep in mind, Weinke spent SIX YEARS playing baseball before playing QB at Florida State. He is an exception, for sure, but to say that Paulus will absolutely make no difference whatsoever is to ignore such a possibility. Maybe the OP just doesn't want Paulus here. He doesn't like the circus Paulus brings. He doesn't like the undeserved attention Paulus has received. Maybe he thinks there's something morally wrong with a Michigan program giving someone a mulligan for a mistake they made. Maybe he doesn't like the fact that Paulus played at Duke, which is quite possibly the ND of basketball. All valid points. I can't say I disagree with any of them. But right now, after Tate's hissy fit, DRob not even being on campus and DEATH, do you really have any other choice?
Bravo, Brian. You are dead on. It is media trying to sell copy or its internet age equivalent. Welcome Greg if you come. Good luck if you don't. End of story.
Welcome Greg if you come. Good luck if you don't. End of story.
you are an idiot
I've already gone through this once before on a basketball thread, but I'll risk doing it again because I just can't stand whining, I embrace competition and I believe it's vitally important to tell it like it is.
I see that you are old enough to drink Brawndo. Good for you. Some good advice I've heard around the way:
-Brawndo must be drank responsibly, don't binge drink Brawndo.
-If your just sitting at the bar/computer, don't hold Brawndo in your hand: you will find that you soon loose track of how much Brawndo you have drank. Set the can down, and take small sips.
- Don't drink Brawndo and drive. Get a designated driver.
Link to this "hissy fit" you're talking about. If it's the interview with the Ann Arbor News, you sure have an amazing ability to discern emotion from the written word. He sounds like a guy who didn't know what the story was, and could care less about Paulus showing up. That was not a hissy fit. You are sorely mistaken to suggest otherwise.
And you're nuts to suggest Rich Rod created this situation. Paulus showed up unannounced on Tuesday. You're being highly irresponsible with the garbage you've posted here because 98% of it is crap (the only non-crap points are that you spelled Tate's name right, and you got Denard's nickname correct).
Could care less about Paulus showing up? Then don't talk about all the reasons why he won't succeed ("A kid like that was good in high school, but it’s nearly impossible to come back to this level and play. It might be possible, but not in the quarterback position. You have to know too much, you have to know the speed of the game."). Don't try to internally doubt what's about to happen (If it happens, it happens. I still highly doubt he's coming. It would be impossible. Again, the only reason he would be doing this is because I heard he tried out with the (Green Bay) Packers. And from what I heard, I'm not worried about it. It ain't going to happen. By the time he would legally get here would be in the summer, and by the time he'd get here, he'd have to learn the whole playbook and get used to the speed of the game. I doubt you could even do that at the high school level, go in your senior year and try to play. You have to know too much. You have to get used to too much. I'm honestly not that worried about it. It ain't going to happen. I talked to (Michigan) Coach (Rich) Rod(riguez) and he said (Paulus) doesn't know if he wants to play football or be a basketball coach at Duke or coach football. He doesn't know yet. I might not be getting the whole story from my coaches, but there's no final word.") That's ridiculous. To say that Tate was not worried is like saying RR isn't worried about the QB position. It's insane.
Even if he was caught off guard and even if is only 18, the sensible thing to do is to shutup or say you don't know what's happening. If you must elaborate, say you welcome competition. Don't go into a incomprehensible diatribe about why Paulus can't play.
I realize it's a baseball movie reference, but relevant nonetheless...
Crash Davis: It's time to work on your interviews.
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: My interviews? What do I gotta do?
Crash Davis: You're gonna have to learn your clichés. You're gonna have to study them, you're gonna have to know them. They're your friends. Write this down: "We gotta play it one day at a time."
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: Got to play... it's pretty boring.
Crash Davis: 'Course it's boring, that's the point. Write it down.
Tate is what, 18? He just needs some help with his interviews. That doesn't mean he won't be an amazing QB, IMO, FWIW.
Maybe I'll do the Swedish Chef.
Of course, if all readers could force themselves to take a quote in context rather than scan it for anything that could be obtusely reconstructed as a scandalous statement, then rather than offering clichés, our athletes might actually be able to share with us, in plain English, inside information about something we're interested in.
Costner could have easily said "Nook, I'm sure you'll be happy to hear that when you get to the show, there are going to be a lot of fans out there who are actually dumber than you. Because of this, I shall now teach you how to go your entire career without ever telling any fans anything interesting.
*don't mind me -- I just miss the bird.
No, it absolutely does not. This is fucking idiotic.
Logic has no place on the internet Brian. The sooner you write non-logical trash you sooner you'll figure out you get more page views from it.
Dead on the Point. Wrong Smiths song choice though. This whole Internet, Dan Patrick Show, PTI, Sportcenter fiasco is better summed up with:
"Bigmouth strikes again and he's got no right to take my place in the human race, oh oh oh oh Big Mouth ahhahaha"
I hate this story so much. I hate Greg Paulus now too, moreso than before. Talk about inflating your non-legend. Dude, just go fulfill your true destiny as Duke GA, then join the long line of former gritty parquet-pounding point guards turned trusted Coach K assistants and follow your dream of becoming a failed head coach at some major conference school.
At first, I was glad to hear we may be adding some depth for the fall. But once this kid started his national media blitz last night, I said, Thanks but no thanks. The only guy who had it right, the only one who knew who Denard Robinson and Tate Forcier are, was Joe Schad
ESPN's ticker is showing "Paulus to play football at Michigan". Not sure if they know something new, or if this is just like their "Miles to Coach Michigan" ticker from 2 years ago.
thank you for this post
I think it's worth explicitly pointing out here that:
Unique, Vaguely Compelling Sports Story =/= Impactful Sports Event
This will (hopefully) make no difference to Michigan football this year. Nevertheless, this a BIZARRE/interesting story, IMO, which kind of explains why the sports media keeps glomming onto it. That, plus it's the offseason.
The Traditional Media is so fucking dead and stupid, it's hard to parody.
Great move! Paulus sounds like the perfect fit for RR's basketball on grass offense. I have no doubt Tressel is quaking in his sweater vest and has already phoned UNC to learn how to defend this Blue Devil stud.
Instead of Cameron Crazies maybe we could have Big House Bananas?
Ah...well...maybe not. Seriously, after last year Michigan could not have enough QBs on the roster.
The stock went to zero and the machine did that auto lay off thing! We are all out of a job!!!!
Word. My head exploded yesterday while watching the ESPN coverage of this nonsense.
OMG A likely fourth string walk-on is going to play for michigan!!!
Why don't they do a story on the heated battle between Nader Furrha and Jack Kennedy while they're at it.
Boy is this story a Thorn in My (his) Side. Tragically, i'm afraid that this story is a Light that will Never Go Out until This Charming Man becomes the First of the Gang to Die.
What, Brawndo or electrolytes? I'd settle for electrolytes.
After seeing all this moronic coverage all over the place and the stupidity of the general internet commentariat (RR is desperate! RR must not think Forcier is any good! LOL Michigan is down the tubes forever!), heaven knows I'm miserable now.
It's too bad Brian can't fisk every single one of these examples of idiocy, but there aren't enough hours in the day.
Jesus Tap-dancing Christ, Herbstreit just said that Paulus coming here is a great idea because he has a "pulse" and there's desperation in Ann Arbor over the QB situation. He used the word "desperation" about 4 times. The ironic thing is he had just finished talking about how Barkley, the true freshman at USC, is probably the leader for the QB spot there, but was there any talk of desperation at USC? Nope, it's all good there. But a true freshman in Ann Arbor? Ipso facto, that's desperation folks. Yeah, I know that USC isn't down at Michigan's level right now, but I don't blame Tate (or anyone else on the team) right now for getting their dander up over all this. He also said that Paulus ran the same offense in high school as what RR runs here, but that's contrary to what Brian and others have stated.
I imagine he got the reports on what offense Paulus ran in high school from the same guy who told him that Michigan had hired Les Miles.
And I'm sure RR is desperate. Desperate to not have Sheridan as the backup again. But that's it.
Barkley was the #1 rated QB by Rivals in their 2009 class and the #5 recruit overall. Tate was a four star and not ranked in the top 100.
USC also has legitimate competition. Aaron Corp and Mitch Mustain are far superior than DRob and DEATH. Corp and Mustain have both been with the program for a year and both were highly recruited out of high school. While DRob has great potential, he's not a polished QB.
Herbie lost all credibility after falsely reporting the Les Miles to Michigan story, but given Tate's reaction to the mere possibility of Paulus coming here, I'm not surprised.
Matt Barkley was the #1 overall recruit in the nation, Tate Forcier was at the bottom of the top 200. Further, they have one backup with extensive experience, and a second with moderate experience. We have one with marginal experience (and horrible experience at that) and another true freshman.
Our own dear leader here asserted live on radio that Threet left because RR told him that Forcier was going to get all the snaps in spring practice—basically telling him to get lost— and not only was that not true—Sheridan got plenty of snaps before he broke his leg—but others who are at least as connected to the football program as Brian stated directly that RR and others on the staff strenuously tried to persuade Threet to stay. We just don't know what RR told Paulus. Did he tell him, "hey we'd love to have you because we really don't think Forcier can do the job, and dang we think you can just come right in and start if you study the playbook for a few minutes," or did he say, "well, depth and competition are always important here like at any school, and if the NCAA clears the way we think we can offer you a scholarship. But we're guaranteeing nothing; you'll have to prove yourself, and you've got alot of catching up to do, son." If it was anything like the former, yeah, that's an insult. If it was closer to the latter, then no insult.
Paulus's huge mistake was going on the media tour and blabbing about all of it. It makes it appear as though he's endorsing the idiot views of ESPN et al, which is basically that he can parachute in after 4 years of basketball and blow everyone else away, because we're desperate and don't have any quarterbacks.
It's not like Paulus just called ESPN and got on PTI. I'm pretty sure ESPN asked him to talk.
He had the choice of whether to talk or not, though. He could have declined to comment on Michigan specifically, the way he did with Dan Patrick when Patrick asked him what other schools he's contacted. For some reason he got reticent then.
Wait, was the Dan Patrick call 2nd? In which case, proving he learned from the PTI shit.
It is not insulting to have depth at a position. Players get injured. That's the point.
Anyone who would take this as a "slap in the face" has a severe case of sandy vaginaitis
Tate's a gamer. He knows it and we all know it now. However, anyone with common sense realizes the kid is currently undersized for a B10 QB. He's had 3-1/2 months of Barwis and from what I have heard recently he is still 180 to 185 lb. Granted, he had the flu. But still, I don't expect him to be 200-lb + by September. Unfortunately it appears it's going to take longer than we want for him to build necessary bulk. That said, Paulus seems to be a good insurance policy.
The media circus is crazy but consider that the keywords of this story are Duke basketball, Michigan football and the Green Bay Packers, what else did we expect?
Sam Webb just called into WTKA saying the Paulus saga is over and he's not coming to UofM. They didn't ask where he was going or why..but sounds like it's dead. Now we can talk about Jason Forcier coming in to play against his bro.