Fuck, he's on to us.
Welcome Glorious New Army For Greatification of Michigan!
Comrades- This is your only notice. While Comrade Cook lives life high on the hog of capitalism, the WLA has stormed the gates of MGoBlog and will be providing you with the truth you yearn for! But before we commence the purging of the bourgeoisie from the party ranks via Thunderdome-esque battles in the comment section (ARGUE OR DIE!) there is urgent business to attend to.
Most importantly, the WLA can now be found at a shiny new home. We have many new toys for loyal comrades to express their love of the Revolution!
Less importantly, but still importantly, at signing day, Commissar Rodriguez enlisted new foot-soldiers to bolster the ranks of the revolution. As a public service to the proletariat, the WLA would like to introduce our newest Wolverines to you:
Isaiah Bell - Bell organized a demonstration at a local smelting plant,
resulting in the workers gaining an additional 10 minute break.
Will Campbell - Single-handedly assembled 25 tractors for the glory of the people after a break-down in the assembly line.
Vladimir Emilien - Emilien led the ouster of Romania's King Michael to prompt the reign of Romanian communism.
Tate Forcier - Forcier gave up a lucrative future as a boy band front man after being blacklisted due to this strict Marxist theory and insistence on splitting all band income equally among crew, performers, and management.
Jeremy Gallon - Gallon's test taking issues are actually a protest against the biased pro-capitalist public school system in America.
Brendan Gibbons - Just kicks things well, and we like his hair. A communist upbringing produces good hair (see: Baryshnikov, Mikhail).
Cameron Gordon - Gordon is a KGB operative embedded at Inkster High School, intent on securing Devin Gardner's enlistment into the Revolution.
Je'Ron Stokes - his favorite song is "Hakuna Matata," so obviously he'll fit right in with RichRod.
Thomas Gordon - Thomas "Prison Abs" Gordon spent 2 years as a penal officer in the Gulag, "reprogramming" wayward Revolutionaries.
Pearlie Graves - Publicly demonstrated his allegiance to the Revolution as all great Marxists have in the past, by sporting quality facial hair. PURGED. He was convicted of stealing bread from mothers outside the state bakery.
Brandin Hawthorne - Led an uprising at a Unicorn breeding ranch in northwestern Utah. Unicorns are meant to be free.
DeQuinta Jones - Secretly raised the Northern Louisiana People's Alligator Army to defend the interior of the country from French invasion northward along the Mississippi River. PURGED. Convicted of seditious speech against the regime and sentenced to four years hard labor on a hog farm in the humid belly of the nation.
Mike Jones - Special Agent of the Revolution enlisted to travel from Florida to hunt down a wayward former Edgewater teammate, OL Michael Brewster now of Ohio State. Think 'Apocalypse Now', but without the water buffalo sacrifice.
Teric Jones - A graduate of Cass Tech, Jones was able to re-engineer and repair 14 dismantled KV-1 Tanks for future use.
Anthony LaLota - A devoted capitalist until 16, LaLota switched his philosophy after visiting a local box factory on a school field trip. Infuriated by the working conditions, he led a bloody coup of the facility and has quickly shot up the rankings of the Politburo Recruiting Service.
Taylor Lewan - The 'Desert Destroyer' is bringing to Ann Arbor his knowledge of how to grow the Revolution in arid climates, as insurance against global warming.
Denard Robinson - When Florida coach Urban Meyer visited for dinner, Mr. Robinson took off his shoe, pounded it on the table and screamed "MICHIGAN WILL DEFEAT YOU!"
Craig Roh - Refers to his eyebrows as the "Fuzzy Curtain".
Michael Schofield - A structural engineer who once utilized his technical abilities to extract his innocent brother from prison. These skills will be very valuable in erecting various public works, infrastructure, and completing the renovations of Michigan Stadium.
Vincent Smith - Originally from the "muck" of the vast Russian steppe, Smith developed his quickness while hunting corsac foxes by hand to help feed his village during harsh winters.
Fitzgerald Toussaint - After wreaking havoc behind enemy lines in Ohio all his life, his actions this fall garnered him a promotion to General of
Justin Turner - A high-ranking official in his home, Turner was disillusioned with his life and country. On a chance visit to glorious Ann Arbor, he was moved to tears by the site of the Blue Army congregating in front of Burton Tower for their daily pledge of allegiance to the Revolution. He committed his life to Comrade Rodriguez on the spot.
Quinton Washington - His daring midnight defection over the Spurrier Wall and into the freedom of the People's Republic of Ann Arbor has already inspired three folk ballads in rural farming communities.
Adrian Witty - Feeds, grooms, and cleans the hooves of Denard Robinson's Unicorn.
We hope you feel a new found solidarity with our recruited soldiers – ONWARD TO VICTORY, COMRADES!
But taking ownership of their labor, we are, um, it's like when a feminist calls herself a "chick". Or something.
Ignore MaizeMan10 and his obviously extensive knowledge of WWII era aircraft.
When I Google'd "russian airplane" that's what I got. Clearly there is an evil plot being fabricated by Google.
Or um you're just good. Thanks for pointing it out.
Dumbest post ever posted on mgoblog. Brian, don't hand off your baby to incapable hands in the future.
No freaking Furrah and that is a dang Ethiopian Unicorn in the WLA banner! ETHIOPIAN! WTF!
Did you guys even bother to write a communist constitution before ERECTING that site? No photos of the graveyards of all the peasants who died making it possible? Are you turning into Fidel and Raul Castro on us? You know, that is why Che left Cuba!
Leave the funny to funny people
Bartender says "lol buckstache"
LMAO HOLY SHIT ISN'T THAT FUNNY?
a big, fat, Commie rat!
How dare you accept an invitation to write on one of the highest-trafficked college football blogs around? For shame!
It's Brian's blog and he can do with it what he damn well pleases. If you don't get WLA's humor, just skip it. I'll never understand people that bitch about free content.
That said, I think they knocked it out of the yard.
Laser wolf! Holy crap, i need to update my laser cats, I don't stand a chance.
Laser cats are SOOOOOOOOOO 2005. They're, like, LC-era old.
that certainly went well.
Lighten up guys it was creative. Michigan had a good LOI day and our recruiting class is in the top 20 despite having the worst football season in school history.
So WLA is a little crazy and Brian gave them the keys to the castle for a day, who cares? Funny post.
I am .... scared
I am so excited!
I am so excited!
I am so... scared.
That is the most obscure, greatest reference ever. YAAAYYY SPEEEEED!!!!!!!!!
end of message.
Put your mind to it
Go for it
Get up and break a sweat
Rock and Roll
You ain't seen nothin yet
I should pull a George Costanza and leave on a high note, but I just can't quit Brian.
Comedy, and even running inside jokes, can be great on a blog. Just take a gander at EDSBS.
The problem is, you fellas don't have the talent for it. The unicorns shit was never funny, and never will be. In fact, I'd say that the "Adrian Witty as groom" joke is more offensive than a lot of the stuff that Chitown in particular freaks out about when it's directed at college or high school athletes.
The Brendan Gibbons joke was sorta funny. Everything else sounds like it was written by your high school newspaper staff. The reason it doesn't belong on this blog is not that it's goofy, or non-informative - Brian does a lot of stuff that's a little off-pitch and pretty goddamn hysterical. The problem is that this stuff is crap.
Whats with all the complaining??? You guys know you aren't actually in Russia (probably) and they aren't actually forcing you to read and believe their propaganda right?
oops, double post
Thanks for the post - it's the first full list of the recruits on the site and much appreciated (despite all the griping).
Comrade Bell has greatly improved my life at the smelting plant.
Every time I read a post complaining about WLA...I can see the old guy who sits behind me in sec. 39 yelling for me to sit down during a "Key Play".
Lighten up fellas.
Considering the bang up job by the world capitalist barons in sinking the global economy to depths unseen since the fall of mercantilism.....I think a little socialism might do us all some good.
The Revolution WILL be televised! (every fall Saturday at noon or 330 pm...check your local listings)
I have seen the evils of capitism and I am ready to join the revolution. Don't listen to the propaganda the capitalists are spewing out. I am one with the cause and will be loyal follower fron here on out. Hail to the Victors Valiant, Hail to the Conqu'ring Heroes, Hail, Hail, to Michigan, and Hail to the Revolution
says the guy handled "suavdaddy"
You can never join together to revenge us, and that is why you suck!
P.S. Yay capitalism.
In our system, your corn would go to feed the hungry instead of being burned as some sort of "fuel" and sweetening worthless soda drinks.
GO BACK TO YOUR OWN SITE YOU CAPITALIST HAWKEYES!!!!
POST SOME TITS ALREADY!
Not gonna lie. I found this post entertaining. Thanks for donating your time while Brian is away, WLA!
While reading this post, my tv reverted back to 3 channels andmy phone morphed into a rotery dial!
Wow, didn't know I had so many soul mates who have outgrown the "revolution" (probably before it even started).
I, for one, am for the revolution, but don't tell my capitalist father.
I'm sorry, I find your whole Communism schtick to be slightly on the moronic and (dare I say) offensive side. I mean, would you write an entire blog with photoshopped Nazi propaganda? No. It's the same thing.
Yeah, I know, softening of America, PC nonsense, whatever. As someone who has had family members suffer under Soviet oppression, and has spent a great deal of time studying the Soviet Union and the Communist bloc, if only you knew how tasteless the whole thing is...
I find your handle offensive.
(spit out diet coke)
funniest thing on this whole worthless gotdamned mess of a thread.
My great-grandparents left Russia in 1921 due to the actual Revolution, with my infant grandfather in tow. I spent 4 years at Michigan getting a history degree focusing on the Soviet Union. Spare the "you guys are ignorant" schtick.
Further, "Communism" isn't the same as "Stalin-led Genocide". Communism is, literally, an economic system. I'll grant you that our occassional "off to the Gulag" comment is an allusion to what Stalin did - and could be construed as too much. But there is much, much, much more to Soviet Russian history and Communism in general (and, I may add, more to the jokes we make) then Stalin's genocide.
is for drinking.
You are right. There is a difference between an economic system and the horrific results of communism being implemented incorrectly. Nonetheless, you do use iconography from these instances, a dark time for many people, in a lighthearted humorous way. I can see how this could be offensive. Don’t you? Being Native American, if you equated a lost to Ohio State to the Trail of Tears and used images from that period, I probably would be taken aback. Also, this does not make it all right for me to make light of that situation just because I have ancestors who experienced the ordeal. Being a history major and descendant doesn’t really mean shit. That being said, real humor always pushes the barriers and, that would be all right, had this post been particularly humorous. The WLA material is much funnier when you stay specific, i.e. George Morales secret agent, etc. When the WLA writes pieces playing off the vague circumstances and language of the communist ideal the writing loses its momentum and gets responses like many you see on this board.
As I wrote above, yeah, I can see why a "sent to the Gulags" reference, or a reference to Stalin's purge could be offended. Personally, it doesn't offend me - but I understand why someone would say it was.
Past that, I think I disagree.
I still find the majority of the WLA material a pleasure and nice change from other sports blogs/sites. Just adding flame to the fire. Subdued response though.
Look, if someone comes with a rational complaint, I won't go crazy. I understand what you're saying, and I agree there's some merit to it. When people come with "OMG YOU SUCK WHY ARE YOU WRITING HERE, SUPER OFFENDED!!!", the response is different.