*backs away slowly*
no wonder we hired Hunter Lochmann
Comrades- This is your only notice. While Comrade Cook lives life high on the hog of capitalism, the WLA has stormed the gates of MGoBlog and will be providing you with the truth you yearn for! But before we commence the purging of the bourgeoisie from the party ranks via Thunderdome-esque battles in the comment section (ARGUE OR DIE!) there is urgent business to attend to.
Most importantly, the WLA can now be found at a shiny new home. We have many new toys for loyal comrades to express their love of the Revolution!
Less importantly, but still importantly, at signing day, Commissar Rodriguez enlisted new foot-soldiers to bolster the ranks of the revolution. As a public service to the proletariat, the WLA would like to introduce our newest Wolverines to you:
Isaiah Bell - Bell organized a demonstration at a local smelting plant,
resulting in the workers gaining an additional 10 minute break.
Will Campbell - Single-handedly assembled 25 tractors for the glory of the people after a break-down in the assembly line.
Vladimir Emilien - Emilien led the ouster of Romania's King Michael to prompt the reign of Romanian communism.
Tate Forcier - Forcier gave up a lucrative future as a boy band front man after being blacklisted due to this strict Marxist theory and insistence on splitting all band income equally among crew, performers, and management.
Jeremy Gallon - Gallon's test taking issues are actually a protest against the biased pro-capitalist public school system in America.
Brendan Gibbons - Just kicks things well, and we like his hair. A communist upbringing produces good hair (see: Baryshnikov, Mikhail).
Cameron Gordon - Gordon is a KGB operative embedded at Inkster High School, intent on securing Devin Gardner's enlistment into the Revolution.
Je'Ron Stokes - his favorite song is "Hakuna Matata," so obviously he'll fit right in with RichRod.
Thomas Gordon - Thomas "Prison Abs" Gordon spent 2 years as a penal officer in the Gulag, "reprogramming" wayward Revolutionaries.
Pearlie Graves - Publicly demonstrated his allegiance to the Revolution as all great Marxists have in the past, by sporting quality facial hair. PURGED. He was convicted of stealing bread from mothers outside the state bakery.
Brandin Hawthorne - Led an uprising at a Unicorn breeding ranch in northwestern Utah. Unicorns are meant to be free.
DeQuinta Jones - Secretly raised the Northern Louisiana People's Alligator Army to defend the interior of the country from French invasion northward along the Mississippi River. PURGED. Convicted of seditious speech against the regime and sentenced to four years hard labor on a hog farm in the humid belly of the nation.
Mike Jones - Special Agent of the Revolution enlisted to travel from Florida to hunt down a wayward former Edgewater teammate, OL Michael Brewster now of Ohio State. Think 'Apocalypse Now', but without the water buffalo sacrifice.
Teric Jones - A graduate of Cass Tech, Jones was able to re-engineer and repair 14 dismantled KV-1 Tanks for future use.
Anthony LaLota - A devoted capitalist until 16, LaLota switched his philosophy after visiting a local box factory on a school field trip. Infuriated by the working conditions, he led a bloody coup of the facility and has quickly shot up the rankings of the Politburo Recruiting Service.
Taylor Lewan - The 'Desert Destroyer' is bringing to Ann Arbor his knowledge of how to grow the Revolution in arid climates, as insurance against global warming.
Denard Robinson - When Florida coach Urban Meyer visited for dinner, Mr. Robinson took off his shoe, pounded it on the table and screamed "MICHIGAN WILL DEFEAT YOU!"
Craig Roh - Refers to his eyebrows as the "Fuzzy Curtain".
Michael Schofield - A structural engineer who once utilized his technical abilities to extract his innocent brother from prison. These skills will be very valuable in erecting various public works, infrastructure, and completing the renovations of Michigan Stadium.
Vincent Smith - Originally from the "muck" of the vast Russian steppe, Smith developed his quickness while hunting corsac foxes by hand to help feed his village during harsh winters.
Fitzgerald Toussaint - After wreaking havoc behind enemy lines in Ohio all his life, his actions this fall garnered him a promotion to General of
Justin Turner - A high-ranking official in his home, Turner was disillusioned with his life and country. On a chance visit to glorious Ann Arbor, he was moved to tears by the site of the Blue Army congregating in front of Burton Tower for their daily pledge of allegiance to the Revolution. He committed his life to Comrade Rodriguez on the spot.
Quinton Washington - His daring midnight defection over the Spurrier Wall and into the freedom of the People's Republic of Ann Arbor has already inspired three folk ballads in rural farming communities.
Adrian Witty - Feeds, grooms, and cleans the hooves of Denard Robinson's Unicorn.
We hope you feel a new found solidarity with our recruited soldiers – ONWARD TO VICTORY, COMRADES!
*backs away slowly*
This was totally worth reading if for no reason other than I watched the Hakuna Matata video which made me a little happier. That talking hog is a funny character.
Adrian Witty. hahahahahahaha
Thank you for not posting this sort of thing until after the LOI's were in.
If I were, say, a member of Denard's family and read this I would be freaking out right now...
I feel like I just gave my 16-year-old son (that doesn't actually exist) the keys to the car after he said "yeah yeah i'll take care of it" and I trusted him because you should trust your kids and he just smoked the tires on the way out of the driveway, accidentally hopped the curb, and I can hear Disturbed blasting from the radio all the way from the stop sign at the corner (which I'm not totally sure he obeyed.)
Skullcracking drivers/fans of Ladas will be fun for him...
So you're saying you like it?
Nothing else to say about it.
INTO THE THUNDERDOME
Brian, please leave these guys on their own site. Their shtick is tired and hasn't been entertaining or informative in a long time.
Comrade Cook is on vacation ... he can't hear your screams!
Sure, sure. Charlie Weis jokes are always funny.
I'm not sure of your point, though. Those who enjoy the WLA stuff have a website they can go to (now on their own domain, apparently). It was funny at first, but now it just bugs me.
...so we are (yes, another will be coming). I realize that the humor/style isn't everyone's cup of tea, but MGo will return to something closer to your regularly scheduled programming later today or tomorrow. In the meantime, please feel free to peruse the Board or Diary if that better fits your sensibilities.
Thanks for the reply, I appreciate it.
To steal an example from a rival, it's as if the Blue-Gray Sky goes on vacation so they have Marco post instead. Even if I enjoy Marco twice as much as BGS, it just doesn't fit.
I don't read WLA either but I don't see why everyone wants to shit on them, lots of people find their posts funny. Brian posted the dates of his vacation, if you'd rather see no posts on MGoBlog then don't read it until the day he returns...
end of message.
With such glorious recruits, we shall surely liberate the workers of the capitalist state of Ohio and its capital of Columbus. We will return them to the factories from which they have been barred and there will be a new equality. Keep up the good work Comrade and ignore the propaganda meant to discredit you.
I'm glad we have you guys at the helm today.
KIDS at the helm??
Can I get an a real sports breakdown, not some D@D write up.
Brian Google-stalked all these players exhaustively in previous posts. Everything you could want to know about them can be found there.
can be found here. And Unicorns, fairy dust and russian speak, can be found at WLA.
Thats why I prefer Mgoblog. At typed that ON Mgoblog.
Besides you should be the one typing, at least you can seperate the 2, you have posted good things here before.
I'm not going to argue about it, because it's silly, but 2 points:
1. Dex posted it. Virtually all of us wrote it.
2. If Brian wanted guest-posters to mimic what he did, he wouldn't have asked us to contribute something.
You are well within your rights to think it's dumb, or not like it, or whatever, obviously.
I was just thrown this morning. Good Luck to the WLA, I know its a certain type of writing, that some get and others don't.
One thing in common, We all want to rise up again!!!
I have a feeling that comments are going to be extreme in either direction. The moderates have no place in the revolution, it would seem.
It's those that lack imagination that are left behind.
I think Brian is out there desperately searching for flight tickets back to DTW right now....good job guys. Scare the bugger back to work : - )
The Gypsies are in the Palace!!!
There aint no wrong or right, we're Gypsies in the Palace and we're raising Hell tonight!
Funny, funny post.....loved the Washington and Turner ones.
We take this recruiting thing way too seriously, so that was much needed humor.
Hey I'm all about having a few laughs, but this shit ain't funny.
If we failed to make you laugh, then we are ashamed of our flaccid comedic efforts. The next time we will make sure our comedy is virile and strong.
KICKS BUCKEYED ASSHOLES !
CRAP, I'll go to WLA, until then, Please type to fit the Blog you are typing for.
I'll be at Varsity Blue and Michigan Sports Center till Cook gets back.
Why isn't CHITOWN posting? He at least can give a grown up entry.
I didn't mean to make you cry!!!
Weren't you supposed to be at some other blog by now?
But aren't you suppose to move out of your mom and dad's basement at some point? Until you leave there. I will be here.
It's one post, and the Witty cleaning Robinson's unicorn's hooves point was damn funny.
Ahhhhh fock. Variety is the spice of life, and content is gold in the off season. So, Dex, thanks for the ink. It was even a little clever. I know you hate me, but I'm gonna give you your props anyway.
The relative IQs of you fucking morons is about 56(you do it in honor Lamar Woodley, PBUH), I wouldn't suggest throwing stones at the glorious revolution. If you didn't laugh at the Lalota bit with the box factory, you have no soul.
But by all means, go back to your regularly scheduled "lol TUO$ faggot Alex Boone arrested lolololol bucknuts lolololol cheatervest wtfBBQ!!!!!111" entertainment. Oh wait. You can't. The WLA has seized power, and there is nothing else you can do in the short term. Except assist Adrian Witty with the hoove-cleaning.
Dex, thanks for your post- it actually convinced me to finally register. Now if I can just get rid of the top right column..hmm.. I think I'll put a post-it note there.
Viva la Revolucion!
I don't think those guys are all really communists.
The revolution forgot Furrah (SP)! How can the great bringers of equality leave out a common peasant? Mao would never do that, and I am a devout Maoist. (Well, sometimes I am just a flat out Sun Tzuist. Once I was even a Nihist, but that got boring.) What, does walk on status eliminate a soldier from contributing to the revolution?
So, hey there WLA---rectify this mistake will ya!
Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.
One of my favorite lines from TBL.
All are equal, but some are more equal than others.
...that aircraft is definately an American-made P-39 or P-63. We exported a lot of them to the USSR and they saw extensive use on the Eastern Front, but should a fighter built by exploited capatalist workers be at the top of the WLA's page?