it might get really really ugly. Hopefully, the defense can put up its usual heroic effort and keep things respectable.
This Week's Obsession: Trying to be Positive
If we taunt them enough we might get a grail. Or a cow thrown at us.
Man we've been a sorry sack of something these past few weeks. All this negativity: negative posts, negative futures, negative rushing totals. Can we be positive? Finish this sentence:
For Michigan to have a shot at beating Ohio State, between now and then the offense needs to...
Coach Brown: ...pool their money together, hire a squad to kidnap the entire coaching staff and every starting player that Ohio State has until at least Sunday.
Seriously I think this game is going to be really, really bad. What Ohio State has done last year and this year is really something. I don't care about their strength of schedule, it is damn impressive to go almost two complete seasons without losing a game in a coach's first two campaigns. Hate Urban for being Urban, but the guy wins on the field.
|This isn't an argument.|
I know the power of a rivalry, especially in The Game, can level the playing field a bit, but I give Michigan close to a 0% chance of winning that game. Ohio State is clicking, Urban smells blood, and Michigan is going in reverse, literally and figuratively. I'm not being negative, I'm not a downer, I'm a realist. Ohio State pounded Penn State 63-14. It took Michigan 25 overtimes to suffer a loss to that same Nittany Lion team. There are so many things fundamentally wrong with what Michigan is trying to do that fixing just one of them isn't going to be enough to appease the fan base or be overly productive on the field.
I could vent forever and it would come off as whiny, pessimistic, and unrealistic because of expectations we all have for Michigan. It's not even the 6-3 record honestly, it's just how everything looks, feels, and seems. Brian and Ace nailed it on the podcast and the recent "I AM OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL" post. I've turned off. I'm just the recruiting guy so this was my one opportunity to put some of these words down. I apologize for where this went.
Brian: Michigan will not beat Ohio State.
But how about Caris LeVert, you guys?
Seth: That's not being positive yards, Brian. Just think: what if good things did happen against anyone but Notre Dame?
|Just remember that the last laugh is on you.|
What if there was suddenly an explosion of competence? What if they decided, as they have so often before, to just run their opponent's offense and that means they end up running Ohio State's offense with Gallon playing the role of
Pittsburgh Philly Punxsutawney Brown? What if the defense against spread to run teams is actually as good as it was against Nebraska? What if Devin Gardner and Taylor Lewan and Fitz Toussaint and Jeremy Gallon and Drew Dileo and Michael Schofield were to be used in something approximating the offense they were recruited for, and Funchess was used as a regular deep threat, and because they spent the entire week working on just a few simple plays the young kids actually looked only kind of bad instead of mostly clueless?
What if those plays were a zone read, a bubble screen they called at the line, a fake bubble delayed handoff, a zone read PA seam, a sprint option and a sprint option throwback screen? These are all things in the playbook already. They might work if used together. What if they were? What if they used it again against Iowa? And then had some wrinkles for Ohio State?
What if there's some good in this offense, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for?
Mathlete: ...get Devin Gardner his swagger back. I think his problems are two-fold right now. The obvious one is that the line has been a sieve and he has been beaten like a drum the last two weeks, but you can tell he is also really hesitant to make the bad mistake. That's the last thing he needs right now. Even when he was throwing picks he was making 2-3 times the plays to offset those bad plays. Without any viable production from the running backs Gardner has to be the generator for the offense and that means he has to be willing to take risks.
|Getting improved line play is crucial.|
The line situation is not going to be dramatically better this year but its also virtually impossible for it to stay as bad as the last two weeks. A little stabilization against Northwestern and Iowa and maybe Gardner can regain his confidence. At this point I would love to see him throw some more picks if it means he is pushing for big plays. Gardner, Gallon and Funchess are the only three playmakers we have and Gallon and Funchess can only get the ball from Gardner. If we want to get to Lloyd Christmas territory against Ohio State, we need to have a confident Devin Gardner.
SBEL...outlook hazy. Ask again later.
There is an alternate universe in which the players on Michigan's team could beat the players on Ohio State's team. There may have even been a point this year in which Michigan might have beaten Ohio State. But it's really, really hard to envision a realistic scenario in which THIS Michigan team defeats THIS Ohio State team. Anything I can point to is of the generic "rivalry game/throw the records out the window/any given Saturday/even a blind squirrel runs a nut for 3 yards sometimes" variety.
Ohio State's defense can be beaten with a quick passing game, but Michigan doesn't have one of those. They can be beaten over the top, but the line just can't hold up long enough to make that sustainable and Devin's ribs are already some strange macabre origami project. Where they CAN'T be beaten is along the line of scrimmage, and that is exactly where Michigan is going to try to beat them. They are too fast laterally, and their front four is simply better than Michigan's offensive line by a couple of orders of magnitude.
I agree with Arithmetic Man: Devin Gardner's health, both physical and mental, is key. To have any chance of sustaining anything approaching an "offense" against Ohio State, Gardner is going to have to make some things happen with his feet, and to find a way to punish defenses for blitzing err'y damn play. Two-man routes 40 yards downfield aren't going to accomplish that. A return to Loping Gazelle status might.
Pittsburgh Brown is the safety. Philly Brown is the receiver.
That's ridiculous. Also, maybe more than a little awesome.
Just kidding...we're boned.
(Not so) Fun facts:
The worst losses to Ohio State in Ann Arbor have been:
1961: Ohio State 50 - Michigan 20
1937: Ohio State 21 - Michigan 0
1935: Ohio State 38 - Michigan 0
Me thinks we're in-line for another one of these. Probably somewhere around the 1935 or 1961 level.
I know it wasn't in AA, but the 1968, 50-14 "because I couldn't go for three" game also stands out as one of the worst defeats.
Still, vengence was M's the following year.
The 1968 game was in Columbus. I was just pointing out the worst home losses to Ohio State since this year is sure to be one of them.
please read comment title
with a hot & sexy young co-ed right before the game...actually make that THREE hot & sexy young co-eds...distract him long enough for Luke Fickell to be named HC for the game and watch us win!
3 hot co-eds?
2008: by 35 pts, L UM 7, Ohio 42
1969: by 36 pts, L UM 14, Ohio 50 ("because I couldn't go for three!")
1946: by 52 pts, W UM 58, Ohio 6
Urban Meyer has said his 2nd year offense is now running full throttle and that his defense has improved considerably this year.
I would not be surprised to watch a very decisive loss for Michigan, one that might hit the record books.
Ohio absolutely crushed Penn State. That's kind of all we need to know, isn't it?
is from 1968 @ Columbus. 1969 was Bo's first season and first victory over OSU, 24-12.
If you're talking the worse of the worse, from 1934-1937, Michigan was outscored 104-0. One of those was a 38-0 loss in Ann Arbor which I believe is their worse home loss to Ohio State. So keep that in mind this year I guess.
And on the other side of things, Michigan beat Ohio State 86-0 in 1902. And that was in the middle of a nine game stretch where they outscored OSU 285-18.
Long live the aughts.
This entire season has been a ruse, save the IU game. The most important game on the schedule is in fact The Game. We really are as good offensively as we were against IU, we're just hiding the fact to catch OSU off guard. We will wipe the field with them.
/s Go Blue!
now everyone in my office is going to hate me because I'm going to be spouting quotes from The Holy Grail all day. Ni!
Look on the bright side of life.
If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle, that's the thing
I refuse to have any expectations for the rest of the year. I have absolutely no reason to believe that the M-OSU game will even be competitive. We've watched such bad football on the offensive side of the ball that there is no real reason to be optimistic other than for being optimistic sake. Why put ourselves through that? No, my fragile being is okay with being resigned to the fact that Michigan will be an underdog in every game for the rest of the year and that there are going to be sizeable portions of games that I fast-foward through.
This is the first year in probably 15 years that I've said: "At least we have basketball!"
Ann Arbor will be crawling with that fan base.
"We're gonna kick your ass so bad it bleeds!"
"Yeah, you're right. You will." *shrug*
I think more people on the board seem to be going in this direction:
That's my story and I'm stuck with it. Having said that, OSU 42-6 on a pair of Brendan Gibbons off-the-upright 37 yard field goals that come after UM does something weird to get the ball in OSU territory on two occasions, but run run up the middle 6 times to set up the game-losing field goals. Asked why he went for 3, Hoke said, "because I couldn't go for two".
is only one thing to do.
Run away, run away.
The Michigan offensive line has had a better November than the ObamaCare website and it has a brighter future
Call Tom Coughlin and find out how he managed to turn the Giants around by winning 3 straight after losing their first six. Giants also have an OL problem. They cant run. Eli keeps throwing pick sixes. Instead of pulling Gardner back, I think Hoke shd cut him loose and let him throw the occasional pick six. It's definitely better than the current show on offense.
all be ashamed of yourselves. Everyone should resign immediately and begin designing ads for Victorias Secret.
When the Blog guys all go into the tank you have a problem.
We have two games before OSU. The pressure will all be on the Buckeyes on November 30th. We will have nothing to lose since we would have already lost it.
Designing ads for Victoria's Secret is an option?
Isn't that why all those ads for Victoria's Secret keep popping up on the sidebar?
Oh, that has nothing to do with it? Uh, nevermind.
(Incidentally, right now it's a DiscoverTheForest.org ad with Smurfs I'd rather have the Secret.)
Given how often you must refresh this site, you probably burn through the ads I sold in minutes (they don't want to have all of their impressions go to the power readers so they get spread out), and burn through my first two lines of networks shortly aftter. I would guess that 99.999% of the ads you see therefore are fed by my lowest network, which is Google's AdSense that's plugged into things you've been browsing in the past. So you have nobody to blame for the ads you're seeing but yourself.
What were you reading that brought up DiscoverTheForest.org?
Well... in 2011, when OSU's offense was a slightly less dysfunctional version of our 2013 offense, Brian remarked on a guest preview post for The Game @ Elven Warriors that Michigan's defense was very strong on 3rd and short situations - to which one clever OSU poster (I know, right!) remarked "Hey, we'll be fine then, because we're never in 3rd in short!" And, by gum, those cooler pooping heathens actually made a game of it.
So, there's no reason the shoe can't be on the other foot. Except for the 12381205* reasons why it won't
* - which is coincidentally the combined number of negative rushing yards and sacks we've taken this season
Easy to kick AB when he's down, but it's mostly correct to do so. He's the kind of guy that will try the crumpled dollar bill in the Coke machine 50 times, and then blame it on the dollar bill.
That was pussy writing.
I tried using POWER words in previous posts, but the readers said they were too predictable and got me nowhere, so I tried to get more in the read zone. I fully embrace the fact that my writing in this article was repetitive--I really only used a small handful of well-practiced and easy-to-deploy sentence structures rather than try to get fancy--and I would submit that I didn't at all consider toughness when I went to employ rhetorical questions as my base sentence structure, and I made much use of passive voice, which isn't considered very manly. I also sped up my sentences to score points more quickly, rather than drawing out my reply and keeping the other writers off the field.
But I had limited time to write it and thougth my job was to get as many points across the goal line as possible, so that's what I did. Just know that I still understand that this is Michigan and therefore nothing is worth doing if doesn't include a fullback blocking. From now on, I am hereby hiring Kevin Dudley to run around hitting people whenever I post something. Kevin? I have a check for $10.00 U.S. with your name on it if you will do this for me.
I'll do it for $5.
Even more egregious: I've been working for MGoBlog since 2009 and been in charge of its business management since 2010, and WE STILL CAN'T RUN A SIMPLE 300x250 AD ANYWHERE ON THE SITE!
Failure of this magnitute--EVERY website in the country on our level has at least a 300x250 and probably one that expands to 300x600--is INEXCUSABLE!
Or wait a few months when we roll out the new site, rip on all the changes because it'll be so vastly different from what you're used to, and then call to FIRE SETH!
You all are overlooking one central truth: 19 & 20 year olds play this game. It is folly to assume that we know what will happen based on what has happened so far in such a profoundly random sport. We on this site have picked up on some fairly ghastly statistics and bad plays from the last couple of games. Those are objective facts and they can't be denied. Here are a few more undeniable objective facts: - You can truthfully say this team is two plays away from being 4-5. However, you can also say they are two plays away from being 8-1. - The offense really did lay 41 points on a decent Notre Dame team, and in a game that looks better with each passing week, put up 42 points on Minnesota. They also won a track meet against Indiana when the defense had a rough day. Yup, they sure have played terrible against terrible opponents, but that is only part of the story. - Conversely, the defense held Minnesota to 13 points, Nebraska to 17 points, the Spartans to 16 points (and within 2 scores) through 3 quarters before bad field position finally killed them, and made two stops giving up no points to Penn State in two of four overtime periods. I think even the harshest critics on this site would agree that the defense has played well most of the time, and deserved better results for their efforts. - On special teams, they have a blocked punt, two fumbled punt recoveries, a 69 yard punt, and the place-kicker has made 12 of 18 field goals, including 5 kicks of 40+ yards. Yes, special teams clearly cost the Penn State game, but that is not the whole story. So, I'm not saying Michigan for sure will win any of its three remaining games. I'm not saying they are even likely to beat Ohio State. I am saying this is a funny game and you never know when a bunch of kids will show up far more ready to play than you have any right to expect. This team has had flashes (why did we get so anabolic after the ND game?), and it is entirely plausible all three units will play up to their potential for Ohio State. The heck with it; I'm staying to watch. Go Blue!