If Damon Webb is going to make fun of Michigan for academics he should probably know the difference between to and too.
here's one vote for "John Beilein's head in a Futurama jar"
This Week in the Twitterverse takes a look at the social media happenings of the previous week, or whatever else I feel like talking about. Mostly I make fun of people who are better at things than I am. No purchase necessary, void where prohibited. Consult your doctor if this column lasts more than four hours. If you come across anything you think should be in next week's column, send it to @Bry_Mac.
The (fourth of like eleven steps toward the) Handpocalypse is nigh, and Michigan fans are joyous. The Victors Valiant are among Da'Shawn Hand's top three, and presumed co-frontrunner Virginia Tech was, shockingly, not. There has been much red wine sipping and golf-clapping. The finest cheese plates have been prepared, and nary a glee club sits silent.
But lo, while this son of Virginia has brought sunshine to our glorious summer, fresh snows have fallen unto the winter of Blacksburg's discontent. And if there is one thing we know about recruiting, it's that fans can't help themselves when this kind of thing happens. They flock like the swallows of Capistrano to the intertubes and share their angst with the wind. So, let's check in on these poor Hokies as they rage against the dying of the light:
Like always, these grown men have no perspective, and are berating an innocent...wait, wut?
Seriously, THIS is the worst thing I found:
Bravo, Hokies. Other than the whole “tweeting at recruits” thing we talk about every week (to summarize: DON’T), this is pretty good behavior. I don't know if this is because you guys actually have some perspective, or because Da'Shawn Hand lives near you and he could consume your soul and shed a double-team at the same time. Either way, I applaud your reasonable and measured response, especially given how big a gut-punch this must have been.
Maybe we've turned a corner on the Internet, and from now on we oh, never mind, here's a bunch of people being racist about a Mexican-American kid singing the national anthem before NBA Finals Game 3.
Didn't we almost have it all, Twitter...
[ed-S: After the break: APR scores released, Michigan rivals hail attendance-based metric, fail at algebra and reading comprehension]
The Annual How-Good-Is-Your-School-at-Being-Good-at-School (or "APR") scores came out this week, and once again, Ohio State trounced Michigan.
The people at Gold Bond would be proud
It wasn't even close. Out of 1000 possible points, Ohio State scored a 984, and Michigan carded a paltry 951. Ohio State, therefore, is 33 points better at school than Michigan. Michigan was DEAD LAST in the Big Ten. 12th out of 12 at doing learning. And whooooo boy, they couldn't wait to tell everyone about it:
There are just two teeny tiny technical caveats on which Michigan fans can hang their dunce caps. The first is that APR is in no way intended to rate academic goodness. Like, at all. It's a measurement of how well schools are keeping their athletes enrolled and academically eligible. Keep your kid in school and keep ‘em from failing, and you're golden. Doesn't matter if your school is universally regarded as being world-class, or if your athletes take classes like Golf or AIDS Awareness or Golf Awareness to stay eligible, or if you just change players’ grades to make them look good. An honor roll nuclear engineer with a minor in world domination is worth exactly as much as a guy scraping out a C- average in the easiest courses. Attrition is a bigger risk than failure, so schools with a lot of turnover will end up with lower scores. But retention and eligibility are good, so whatever.
The second and more salient point is that the numbers these Buckeyes are citing are four-year rolling averages. If you look at the most recent scores, you'll see a slightly different story [warning: Freep link]: Michigan football finished with a very respectable 981. OSU's 970 was third to last in the Big Ten. Michigan's single year basketball APR was 980, while Ohio State's 957 was second to last in the B1G. In other words, Michigan beat OSU this year. But because OSU had a better score in previous years, they won this year, too.
Bad news, Michigan fans. Apparently we live in a world where we judge all things by four-year rolling averages. You may have thought Michigan beat Michigan State last year, but in reality they lost a hard-fought game 24.5 to 15.75. They also barely avoided an embarrassing loss to Iowa, squeaking through with a 28.5 - 27.25 win (I mean seriously, can you imagine losing to THAT team? At HOME?). On the bright side, though, they beat national runner-up Notre Dame 26.75 - 25.5, and the basketball team won two NCAA tournament games. So, all in all, about an average year.
[ED: I can't believe I forgot the ultimate authority on the subject:
Michigan continues to recruit kids who cross at the crosswalk, take all tests with an approved #2 pencil, and refer to everyone over the age of 23 as “sir” or “ma’am.” But as much as kids talk about academics, it’s easy to smirk a little bit when you hear Da’Shawn Hand’s claims about the importance of academics. After all, this guy probably isn’t going professional in something other than sports. There’s a really, really, really good chance that he is going professional in something that is very much sports. But then again:
Those are some pretty damn good grades, but look at those classes. Dude is a junior taking Calc, not to mention Civil Engineering and Chem. It is also worth noting that he got an A in advanced weight training, which, yeah. I feel really bad for the other people in that class if it was graded on any sort of curve. Oh, you just benched 180? Da’Shawn just made an origami frog out of 1/8” sheet metal. It jumps and everything. But good for you.
This does bring me to my one concern about Michigan’s recruiting, and that is the complete lack of character concerns. Brian has touched on it recently, but in case you haven’t noticed, all the kids MIchigan is bringing in are earning rave reviews for their off-the-field character. They all have good grades and gold stars for good behavior. They don’t get in trouble. And while during the season that seems like a blessing, it is also extremely boring. As long as the walls of Fort Schembechler remain high and impenetrable, if no one is going to be getting into trouble, what the hell are we supposed to talk about during the offseason?
Recruiting has been largely completed by early summer these days. We can only speculate about depth charts so many times. The MGoBoard will be inundated with inane chatter and/or obsession about the remaining few elite recruiting targets. Would chatter about a potential academically ineligible player be the worst thing? If a player gets caught peeing on a frat house or something, that would give us at least a week of speculation and conversation. I fear for the big picture, ya know?
The guy that Sam Webb called the “Robin to Greg Mattison’s Batman” when it comes to recruiting, Roy Manning, is settling nicely into his new role. He is also among the only coaches who do this whole “technology” thing. Jeff Hecklinski (@JeffHecklinski), Darrell Funk (@DarrellFunk), and Dan “Why don’t you go by Lou” Ferrigno (@CoachFerrigno) all have Twitter accounts, but none of them are exactly active in the social media scene. Manning, though, seems to be hitting his stride
Not to nitpick, but very few of those M's look regulation. PROTECT THE BRAND, MAN.
At some point, we may need to do an MGoVine competition, because again, long boring drama-free offseasons.
The risk of a coach being embarrassed on the recruiting trail has always existed. A recruit can conduct a traditional interview in which he accuses a coach of almost crying like a little baby, and it can gain some traction. But with social media, you get a written record that makes it really hard for coaches to deny their shaming. For example, if you’re a Louisville coach (like, for example, Ron Dugan) making a run at a Kentucky commitment (like, for example, 4-star DE Denzel Ware), this kind of conversation might be made public for all to see:
Or if you are a coach at Florida (like, for example, Joker Phillips), and you do one too many stupid things (like, for example, posting one too many ridiculous photoshops), you might be very publicly rebuked:
Okay, so that’s probably not about photoshops. But those things are still awful.
If Damon Webb is going to make fun of Michigan for academics he should probably know the difference between to and too.
intend to play school?
That Damon Webb is the father ... which may be worse.
I intended to include that, and I forgot. This shall be remedied.
Well done, sir (or madam).
An OSU guy is making ridiculous, uninformed statements? Sounds about par for the course .
That wasn't really him
From both staff and players.
Gardner had one the other day where Toussaint walked/danced out of his shoes or something. It was weird. But I laughed.
My personal fav: the one with Fitz dancing in flip flops, followed by the immediate cut to Gallon ringing a bell, looking disinterested.
you got the phrase wrong, it's 'flock like salmon of Capistrano'.
Bravo, Hokies. Other than the whole “tweeting at recruits” thing we talk about every week (to summarize: DON’T)
Just ask Wes Welker... Link? Link.
I don't get it with these fan bases that go off the deep end saying awful things to a kid. That news gets around and who knows what impact that might make on future players considering your school. The Andrew Wiggins thing is a perfect example. If you were a star player and weren't quite sure if you wanted to go to UNC, would you put them in your top 5 after what was said to him? I know I would think twice...
the VT fanbase must be entirely comprised of Canadians. Pretty impressive that no one wished an ACL tear or a car accident on him.
/looks at ohio
Damn, VT. That was almost enough to restore my faith in humanity. But then I drove through traffic to work, so I'm back to being GrumpyCat. Still, nice to see a class act.
Very classy fans at VT. Nice to see that not everyone who posts his disappointment about where a kid chooses to attend school is a loon. OSU, pretty much what we have learned to expect: distort the facts to make stupid, snarky comments. Live it up, guys, you will be in M's rear view mirror in another year or two, even with the four year rolling average.
That fan base will think their school is one of the best in the country because of Urban and his staff. I do submit a little thing called Google to the great state of Ohio to show that in fact they are not even a top 50 University in these United States.
I swear that school is like North Korea USA. What ever their football gods say is truth and fact.
It's good to see Hand get an A in PE/Weight Training. I was starting to doubt his 5* rating once Meyer cooled on him! Seriously though, that's an impressive course load. I posted this article in another thread last week, but it is very appropriate here regarding the APR issue. It's from 1999, but I think is a pretty good illustration of how OSU still keeps their APR up.
Everybody gets grade changes. Everyone murders people. Is there anything that's off-limits?
Should always remember that it is never a good thing to piss off your future employer. OSU and Sparty fans, stay real.
has the worst typeface choices i have seen in a while. the kid that uses Kirsten or some crap on his facebook? and then, i don't even know what that OSU thing is called, like FingerPaint Bold or IwasMurdered Narrow or HelterSkelter Ital.
if you are going to talk about what a learned hall of wisdom you are, do it in a classy, well mannered font, not the one that the haunted house uses on their coupons.
I agree 100%. Choice of font is extremely important in making a good impression!
When I saw this on my iPhone it shows up as times new Roman. I thought you were totally serious.
WTF, yo. It's not even a serif font so that's wack.
P.S. I'm amused how no one will name the font-that-will-not-be-named
I lol'ed. Very nicely written. I couldn't put my finger on what was wrong (besides it looking like a 6th grade art project) with that damn list. You nailed it.
Based on my experience with VT fans at the Sugar Bowl, I'm not that surprised by their tweets, except that all it takes is one drunken tweeter to make a whole fanbase look ridiculous.
The best seats I could afford for the Sugar Bowl put me right next to a group of VT fans. We cheered and they groaned with UM did well, and they cheered and we groaned when VT did well, but they were never rude or obnoxious to us, and when a very mild "scuffle" broke out a few rows in front of us among some VT fans, they all but apologized and asked us not to judge VT by a few drunk idiots. I was ecstatic at the end of that game, but I honestly felt bad for the the VT fans.
I can't wait until Urban Meyer channels his inner Woody Hayes and throws a right hook at a player that inadvertantly connects with Mike Vrabel's temple. Glorious day.
Fitz is a North-South back with a little wiggle. If the O line isn't blocking well those stretch plays and zone reads go nowhere without great speed from the rb. Fitz will benefit from our between the tackles running game.
I really think it's funny how ohio is making such a big deal out of the APR... I was hoping it would die on the vine (it will be remedied in two years or so), but your four-year rolling summary had me laughing out loud.
You may have thought Michigan beat Michigan State last year, but in reality they lost a hard-fought game 24.5 to 15.75.
I think something's wrong with my computer. I don't see a Jose Canseco fruit loops tweet of the week. There's got to be something. Please.
Yes, because a school's academics are really reflected well by looking at the athletes... Granted, NW and Wisco are both doing well. It's like Ohio State is the kid with the 2.7 GPA who just got an A in shop class and wants to brag about it. Dude, its APR... no one cares how your athletes are doing in the classroom.
Good thing Doug Ditmar isn't a Virginia Tech fan.
Dude isn't just a junior taking Calc - he is a junior taking AP Calc and pulling a B. That is solid.
I think he may go professional in something that is sports, and then when that's done, go professional in something that is not sports.
...the something that is not sports will probably be sports.
I mean....the APR is a rollup of 4 years of percentages......so yeah Webb, we could say it is lower than usual because of RR. So, there is that...
I could have sworn this got posted as a diary at around 11 last night.
And you have stumbled upon the secret of the blog. You must now be disappeared.
Disappeared? I'm glad I didn't publicly make the same observation. Figured it had to do something with re-reading and editing before moving to FP. Also didn't read last night because I was watching the Stanley Cup Finals and was ready to go to bed.
p.s. So, are you a mod or aren't you? Also, if you were the one who put up the meta thingee on Festivus, I have a suggestion. I think a ton of people have never bothered to read on the top tab Mgoboard FAQ, FAQ, Ethics, etc. It might be helpful to periodically put those pieces on the front page, or somehow have them more visible. Who knows, maybe there could be an addendum about posters laying off the "excitedness" comments in regard to recruits (or anything else?) Maybe you could do something like giving 25 points if you click on those links (and presumably read them?)
On that last, while points don't matter and aren't talked about, it'd be interesting to know when they will come back.
I write stuff on LiveWriter and then publish it, but for some reason it publishes to Diaries. I usually relocate them to unpublished stories within a few seconds, but last night I had a brief internet blip so it remained up for a few minutes.
I'm not a mod, but I still have those powers, and every now and then if JGB and LSA are busy, I'll fix the things I see.
As for the point thing, I have no idea.
AB and not BC AP Calculus?
May we do as well when our turn comes.
...are delicious. Just as good as Sparty or Buckeye tears, though a little gamier.
Go Blue / Wahoowa