Just searched Isis Taylor...wow.
this week in unintentionally grim-sounding recruiting headlines
A list of things that people believe will make them more successful than a football scholarship to Michigan State University:
1. A football scholarship to the University of Michigan (obvs)
2. A football scholarship to Northwestern University
3. A music career with dese skillz:
(Heads up: video contains explicit lyrics and imagery, and really bad rap):
Mark Hollis did say yesterday that they're trying to make the Big Ten more hip, but then MSU admitted they dropped him weeks ago when the first blunt hit the YouTubes. Which is probably correct but doesn't make MSU's receiver recruiting any less hilarious.
Some Stuff the Other People Already Posted
I post once per week, and Brian posts daily, so sometimes he gets to the good stuff first. Now, I could put in the effort to go find other stuff. But I am exceedingly lazy, so we’ll all just pretend that he didn’t already post this stuff, and we will laugh at it anew. Good? Good.
With this week’s announcement of Marvin Robinson’s transfer, Michigan lost the quintessential OMG Shirtless player. M-Rob was the patriarch of the movement [Tyrece Butler is its godfather], and his loss will be deeply felt. But when Angry Michigan OMG Shirtless Hating God closes a door, He opens a window into some crazy stuff. Behold what AMOMGSHG has given us:
Maybe this is a response to the Abercrombie and Fitch CEO saying he didn’t want… uh… larger people wearing their clothing. Maybe they just honestly forgot to wear shirts that day. But I like to think that they were assuring the apprehensive Michigan faithful that the shirtless tradition would continue, albeit in a much more MANBALL fashion.
This also has the makings of a great ‘positive self-image’ campaign:
It doesn’t matter if you’re a little pasty white. Or if you’re carrying a few extra pounds around the midsection. Or if you don’t have what would be considered a “neck” by traditional standards. Or if you make questionable fashion and facial hair choices. As long as you can pancake a sumbitch or two, you are beautiful.
[One side note: Brian referred to this incident as “AmBearcrombie and Bearfitch.” I humbly submit “ManBearCrombie” as an alternate nickname. ]
Elsewhere in wonderfully poachable Twitter-related news, Greg Mattison sat in a truck.
[After the jump]
Pictured: Greg Mattison. In a truck.
Meme time? Meme Time.
Andrew Wiggins is the #1 overall basketball recruit for the 2013 class. Number one overall recruits engender a great deal of attention, and their commitments are often accompanied by heightened emotions among the more passionate (read: unstable) fans. So when Wiggins chose Kansas this week, we saw some less than flattering comments [NOTE: in this here link there be profanity, racism, homophobia, and general NSFWness] from North Carolina fans:
And Florida State fans:
And Kentucky fans:
I haven’t seen this amount of hate for a Canadian kid since Ike from South Park. But while this crap is bad and inappropriate from anyone, I’d like to speak to the Kentucky fans for a minute here. So please, put down your moonshine, bourbon, and/or two-week-old leftover mint julep from Derby weekend and listen up.There are a bunch of reasons you don’t get to complain about this, other than the obvious “he’s a kid who can to do what he wants and it’s his life not yours ya crazy hilltopper.” In your case, you have the most ridiculous recruiting class in the history of the written word. You have six McDonalds All-Americans. And you get these kinds of kids ALL THE TIME. Remember Anthony Davis? The kid did more with one eyebrow than I could ever hope to do with two. So, shut up.
But there’s one Kentucky fan who… you know what? I’m just going to let his or her words speak for themselves:
I had a nickname picked out for you and everything :’(
Christine Brennan wrote a piece on USA Today yesterday claiming that we are making “too much” of Twitter rants like the ones above. She specifically cited the reactions to Wiggins’ decision:
This decision of course did not please fanatics who follow those other three schools, so they did what any red-blooded, hot-headed sports fan does these days and jumped on Twitter to call a high school senior every awful name and slur imaginable. Internet stories then were written quoting some of the most egregious comments, thereby giving those who tweeted them a great victory: mainstream media validation.
Her main point is that this kind of stuff isn’t a big deal because it doesn’t reach that wide of an audience:
One fan who attacked Wiggins on Twitter had 183 followers. Another had 222. Three others had 296, 394 and 525 followers, respectively.
That doesn't mean that exactly that many people read each particular tweet. More might have seen the comments if they were re-tweeted or after a search for what was being said about Wiggins' decision, but it's also true that not every follower of each account saw each tweet, Twitter being a river that just keeps flowing along.
So, to put things into perspective, these so-called worldwide social commentators would have reached more people if they had stood up at a high school assembly and just started screaming.
To this I would make a few comments:
The Dread Pirate Roberts is here for your soul. But he will settle for your V-Core.
SOMEONE GET HIM SOME PROTEIN (no wait that's probably a violation don't send him protein) but he’s looking at me with that hungry look again and I don’t know if my computer screen is rated to stop a Peewee.
Highly touted defensive tackle prospect Elisha Shaw is a high four-star to most of the sites, but he really wants that 5th star. And he sent a tweet to that effect, and included a screenshot of the 247's rankings on his iPad to make his point. The only problem is that Shaw was, shall we say, multitasking, as evidenced by the other open tabs in his browser:
Apparently, and from what I can gather, this “Isis Taylor” is a star of the adult film industry, and the website listed is a repository of adult-style film productions. I think rather than chalking this one as evidence of the “be careful what you tweet” rule, we should instead refer to the much older “take caution in your attempts to access certain materials” rule. The new rules don’t eliminate the old rules, people. They make the old rules harder to follow. Stupid technology.
I really hope coaches don’t hold this one against the kid. As far as questionable behavior among young men goes, this is right up there with “failed to call teacher 'sir’” and “failed to cross at a crosswalk.” Besides, based on Ms. Taylor’s Wikipedia page, she is of a legal age to perform such work, has won many awards for her efforts, and is relatively attractive by most objective measures. And I remind you we live in a world in which a Tim Brando sex tape is a thing that has been postulated, so IT COULD BE SO SO SO MUCH WORSE.
On the bright side, though, I think we can gain some real insight into recruits with a quick glance at their browsers. To test this hypothesis, I went back and looked at similar tweets from some past Michigan recruits:
I… I don’t know how to say this, but Jose has stopped being insane. Well, let me clarify: he has stopped posting his insanity on Twitter. He’s said some run-of-the-mill weird stuff, but the kind of stuff your goofy uncle says, not the full-blown tinfoil crackpot stuff we’ve come to know and love. This is quite a blow to my world view, and I’m frankly not sure if this column can survive in his absence.
On the other hand…
Metta tried to provide some insightful commentary on the Knicks/Pacers series. The key was proper condiment selection:
And proper music selection:
And apple sauce. Which isn’t really a condiment.
Just searched Isis Taylor...wow.
Boren - Columbus OH Snowfall, Defining Family Values, History of Benedict Arnold
Lewan - Stupid Donkeys, Queen - Bicycle, Finger mustache tattoo
Gallon - invisibility cloak, rocket boots
View on tweets- You hit the nail on the head that Brennan completely discounts the fact that these are actually going to someone. If that letter to the editor was then forwarded by the editor to the party rather than dumped in the trash her analogy would work. HOWEVER, there is a solution to this: Don't let people you don't know follow you and tweet to you. If your be all is some twitter ranking no one but you cares about by having so many followers (but never having a record setting amount) accept that when you take any and all people to add to your total, you're probably getting some assholes in that group, and don't be surprised when they're assholes after the fact. if you add @WildcatTillIDie then tweet him "Whoooo, Kansas Baby!" expect people to not be happy. I mean, you're letting people who follow a high school kid follow you. What do you expect?
After doing some research, I can say that I see nothing wrong with this "Isis Taylor"...she seems like a wonderful girl. Now whatever was behind "Cannot open page" might be more scary. (And no one picked up on that he's also apparently been looking around at getting an online Master degree in teaching?!? Obviously he has a future as an educator.)
best twitterverse post so far. Great work on the Michigan players internet tab photos. I was hoping you would have Lewan listening to Journey's Faithfully as well.
So...anybody else Isis Taylor's tweet to Elisha Shaw? Fantastic.
I believe Hillbillies prefer to be called Sons of the Soil...
Isis Taylor got in touch with this Shaw character, and is doing some "recruiting" for USC: http://outkickthecoverage.com/the-four-star-the-porn-star-and-me.php