Unverified Voracity Unveils The Time Portal

Urf. Henne is not on the "two-deep depth chart" for PSU according to Jim Carty. Nor is Johnny Sears, but that was not in real question.

I'ma lay down and bend over... Mr. Casanova has some harsh words for the Irish (NSFW):



Word. Especially about that reality TV show this offseason. Gold, Mr. Casanova. Gold.

It's a workout.



Uh... Ferentz... uh. No. We are still operating under the assumption that Michigan will be looking for a new coach this offseason, so it's worth noting that Kirk Ferentz no longer seems like a thrilling option:

...the Cyclones (1-2) did what they seem to do annually against the Hawkeyes (2-1). Iowa State's seventh win in 10 years over Iowa -- and the first victory for new head coach Gene Chizik -- came after the Cyclones had been handled at home by Kent State and clobbered by Northern Iowa.

Ferentz isn't responsible for one of those losses, but in his nine years with the Hawkeyes he's but 3-6 against Iowa State. I wasn't enthused with the prospect of Ferentz anyway -- I've seen too many Lloyd Carr-like bungled finishes to games -- now he should be out of the conversation totally. As of November he was the second-highest paid coach in the country (I believe Urban Meyer has passed him since); this is no longer commensurate with his results. Also, another kid is going to play under him at Iowa starting next season. Even the Mary Sue Coleman connection shouldn't be enough to make him a serious candidate.

They lie to distract our interest! A couple Cal blogs are discontent with the Bears' recent victory over Louisiana Tech. The Band Is Out On The Field titles his post "The Best Team That Could Be Awful", knocks Tedford's playcalling...

Coach Tedford Could the play-calling get any less inspired. Jahvid Best is in the game - we are running a fake pitch to him and handing off to Will Ta'ufo'ou up the middle (a play Barry eloquently labeled "Give it to fatty.") As far as I recall, we have yet to hit a receiver in stride this season. Apparently, the quick slant was part of Mike Dunbar's playbook.

...and is generally pessimistic about the Bears' chances this season:

The Bears are ranked No. 6. In my opinion, this means they are considered to be the best of the team in the country that might still turn out to be god awful (see Texas, Wisconsin, Ohio State, Penn State, Rutgers, Oregon, etc.) Right now, I feel like there is a pretty huge drop-off from the top five of USC, LSU, Oklahoma, Florida, and West Virginia and the next teams on that list, who, generally have been unimpressive. The Bears are getting a deserved benefit of the doubt for having dropped Tennessee. But it appears Tennessee is god awful themselves. Basically...The No. 6 ranking means nothing. No one should be worried about getting a BCS bid (or being jobbed out of one...again). There is no reason to worry about respect, or lack thereof. Right now, the Bears need to worry about survival in what is going to be a brutally tough Pac-10. A month from now, they easily could be unranked.

Cal beat LTU 42-12 and outgained them 447 to 273... I call smokescreen. We still covet precious Tedford. In two weeks the Bears face off against Oregon; if Cal wins the drumbeat will intensify. Ted-ford. Ted-ford.

Stop with the seconds. Run Up The Score appears to be one of the most reasonable Penn State fans on the internet (see also: best Notre Dame blocking, circa 2007) but even he falls prey to one particular bugaboo that bugs:

Then, everything simply unraveled. We don't need to rehash all the gory details. Suffice it to say — kickoff return, prevent defense, two seconds added to the clock, and the final dagger on the final play of the game — the picture you see in today's masthead picture. Don't worry, guys, it'll be gone by tonight or tomorrow morning.

I know I've addressed this before, but here goes again: Penn State fans are not allowed to ever complain about this again. At one point in Penn State's go-ahead drive, they called timeout. During the commercial break, Joe Paterno did his crazy-old-man Joe Paterno thing at a linesman for approximately 45 seconds of spittle about how Joe hadn't seen a travesty like this since the Hottentots invaded in nineteen-dickety-two. At the conclusion of the rant, the referees placed two seconds back on the clock. Shut up, shut up, shut up about Lloyd Carr getting the exact same call minutes later. Zip it. No. Zip it. Zip. It. Zipit.



UNVEIL THE TIME PORTAL.

Uh... anyway, RUTS is way more reasonable about this than every other Penn State fan ever so don't want to heap scorn upon him too much, but that one really gets my goat. The other things mentioned were the Bryant Johnson catch in the OT game, which was an obviously awful call but came right after Penn State was given a controversial third down conversion on a highly questionable completion, and the spots in the 2005 and 2006 game... the latter of which veers dangerously close to tinfoil hat territory.

Foightin' round the world. This Russel Crowe thing?

Michigan might want Crowe to stick around for good luck, but the actor didn't know how long he would stay in Ann Arbor.

"Well, I want to have a couple of beers with Lloyd - however long that takes," he said.

Too strange for words. Also there is this description of Jake Long:

Crowe then took over, comparing rugby to American football, talking about Carr's visit to Australia and joking about the Wolverine he would like on his team, such as Jake Long, a 2.01-metre, 143 kilogram offensive tackle.

"I want Jake!" Crowe said.

That's a lot of kilograms.

Etc.: Mike Hart as avenging angel.