yes plz
Unverified Voracity Swings A Toothpick
Filed under:
Winner. I put out the call for someone affiliated with the program to cackle evilly about what's going down in Columbus, and Larry Foote stepped to the plate:
Foote said he expects the NCAA to come down hard on the Buckeyes, who will go before the committee on infractions in August, giving them, he said, "what they deserve."
And what would that be?
"Ten-year ban, take all the victories away, lose 100 scholarships," Foote said, clearly exaggerating. "Give that (bowl money) back and donate it to the rest of the Big Ten teams."
Helpful note on the exaggeration there. Jalen Rose is also unsurprisingly straightforward about his glee (yes, irony); Jimmy King and Brandon Graham fall into the Serious Face About Serious Issue camp.
Also Graham says he really wants see Denard develop into a drop-back passer. Who wants another 3500 words about the shotgun? I'm warning you, people who can be quoted in newspapers about Denard Robinson: I will do this.
Speaking of. Al Borges isn't exactly wrong here…
"Well, the thing we gotta do is play efficiently, Borges told Matt Shepard on WDFN-AM 1130 Detroit, "and by that I mean take care of the ball, number one, because you don't want to put your defense in bad positions, because that will get you beat faster than anything – when your opponent is playing on a short field. "That's first and foremost."
…but I have not missed the "controlling turnovers is job one" meme the last three years. I have missed non-brain-melting turnover margins, though, so maybe I should just shut up and feel the soothing coachspeak flow through me.
Not Willingham, so we've got that going for us. Brady Hoke does not look like a natural with a golf club in his hands. He looks like a bear waving a toothpick:
This is more reassuring than it should be. Also at that link: massive donor Al Glick hanging out with Carr and Hoke. He is very old and tiny.
Yes, there were two separate Michigan golfing events—the Foote quotes come from another Rose Leadership Academy fundraiser—in one weekend. Out of control.
Just a dude. This quote from Mike Martin…
"I'm a really humble guy," Martin said. "I was talking to someone and said, 'I don't look at myself as a big-time senior football player at Michigan. I look at myself as a dude playing a game.' They're like, 'You're awesome.' "
…is awesome. Get your head around that.
I hear tell that varmint convinced Kyle Kalis to commit. You're aware that Kyle Kalis committed to Michigan over the weekend*. You'll be shocked and appalled at what went down to make that happen:
I'm told that Kyle Kalis' stepdad just called into WKNR and said that Kyle is being manipulated by Hoke and his dad.
The head coach of the university of Michigan and one of Kalis's parents conspired to have him accept a scholarship offer from a school that knows who its head coach will be next year and how many scholarships it will have, whereupon his stepfather called a radio station to complain. It's going to be awkward to ask for the mashed potatoes for a while.
Kalis, meanwhile, declared it to be open season in Ohio:
"He is the type of guy I want to play for," Kalis said. "(Hoke) has an incredible amount of passion. I believe the Michigan-Ohio border is now open. I think you're going to see eight or nine guys from the state of Ohio going over to Michigan this year."
They've already got seven nine, so that's not a huge stretch (or any at all). Five-star RB Bri'onte Dunn may or may not be next; he is either 100% committed to Ohio State or sort of committed to Ohio State or technically committed to Ohio State but actually encouraging Kalis to defect, which was a wild rumor I thought I saw somewhere but I can't track down and therefore probably isn't true.
*[Something that was on the verge of happening for a couple weeks now. That was why Tom posted the "buckle up" tweet that riled up the board. #nowitcanbetold]
Which is it? Even I think Brooks has been a little unhinged about this Ohio State stuff but he does do a service by pointing out the ever-shifting story behind Tressel's firing/resignation/retirement. May 30th:
“Jim Tressel decided to resign.”
June 12th:
Tressel was not told he would be fired if he didn’t quit, Gee said.
“He was not given an ultimatum.”
That's directly contradicted by OSU's response, which pats itself on the back over and over again for "seeking and accepting" Tressel's resignation, as well as planning to ban Tressel from recruiting for a year—but not bothering to announce or, you know, actually do it.
The school also praises itself for self-reporting when the legal department found the Tressel emails as they responded to a FOIA—without someone else asking for information they never would have found the violation.
Etc.: Touch The Banner interviews Jack Miller. Some complicated calculations about Brady Hoke's record being more than meets the eye. Five stars appear next to Greg Mattison's name. NEEDS MOAR STARS. WVU linebacker Branko Busick charged with armed robbery. The weapon: his name. Also his dad had a short career as a WWF heel with an epic mustache in the mid-90s. (HT: DocSat)
July 12th, 2011 at 2:57 PM | 
I count 9 recruits in the
I count 9 recruits in the
July 12th, 2011 at 3:07 PM |
Yes, buttsnake, you are correct
Yes, buttsnake, you are correct
That would be 9 so Kyle seems to be correct.
July 12th, 2011 at 3:16 PM |
I counted 8 my first time through the list...
I counted 8 my first time through the list...
But then on attempts 2 and 3, I confirmed, 9 it is...
'Cause I Bleed Blue...
July 12th, 2011 at 2:58 PM |
Hoke looks good
Hoke looks good
Hoke looks a lot better at golf than Jalen Rose, or most ex-players, football or basketball. Most of ex-players who end up being really good at golf are QB's and kickers, so I am quite surprised when an ex-position player (except, of course, QB) even hits it reasonably well.
Hoke has the face in a nice position, if maybe a tad closed, and with the exception of a flippy left wrist, his follow-through looks really good for an ex-football player. He even rotated his body. Best of all, notice that he actually got the ball in the air. Contrast that to the pic of Jalen taking sod a foot behind the ball and whiffing on A2 dot com today.
July 12th, 2011 at 3:01 PM |
Golf outing took place at the
Golf outing took place at the
Golf outing took place at the Jackson Country Club, I used to caddy there when I was a kid. Nice course.
Semper Fidelis
July 12th, 2011 at 3:39 PM |
Agreed
Agreed
I'd like to see a little more extension in the arms, but all in all, not bad for a big guy.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:14 AM |
6 hole?
6 hole?
I always thought the 5-hole would be the desired orafice. I better apologize to my high-school girlfriend....
July 12th, 2011 at 10:52 PM |
FOR THE RECORD:
FOR THE RECORD:
I have something negative to say, about Coach Rich Rodriguez. Yes, it is really me. No, no one has hacked my account.
There's something that needs to be said about Coach Rodriguez, and it is troubling. It's his golf game. Which is quite good. And which naturally doomed him as a head football coach at Michigan.
My grandfather, who roomed with Old Man Yost, told me that Yost hated golf. Yost was of course absolutely determined, in the 1930's, to build the finest University golf course in the world, and he came very close, having hired Dr. Mackenzie. But Yost didn't play golf, and didn't much care about it otherwise.
Bo Schembechler said (and I am paraphrasing); 'Show me a football coach who is a good golfer, and I'll show you a lousy football coach.' Bo was a joke as a golfer. Lloyd Carr is borderline incompetent as a golfer. Gary Moeller likes to golf. He just plays golf like a good football coach.
I don't know about Kipke or Crisler or Oosterbaan. Bump Elliott was a pretty good player, simply because there wasn't anything athletically that he couldn't do; his brother Pete walked on to the Michgan golf team and earned a few of his 12(!) varsity letters. And then he went to coach Illinois, to prove the rule about coaches and golf.
Rich Rodriguez was the only one who was a competent, interested golfer.
Brady Hoke plays golf like he is going to be a truly great football coach.
July 12th, 2011 at 4:07 PM |
Jimmy King's swing looked ok.
Jimmy King's swing looked ok.
Jimmy King's swing looked ok.
July 12th, 2011 at 3:00 PM |
Yes....
Yes....
I think Kyle (and Brian) miscounted the actual number we already have committed.
Edit* This was a reply to ...buttsnake?!? WTF is a buttsnake?
July 12th, 2011 at 3:06 PM |
It's wherever your
It's wherever your
It's wherever your imagination takes you.
July 12th, 2011 at 3:29 PM |
"WTF is a buttsnake?"
"WTF is a buttsnake?"
It's the slang for the device the docs use during a colonscopy.
It's also what the NCAA should give Ohio State.
July 12th, 2011 at 8:11 PM |
Don, you're on target again,
Don, you're on target again,
I haven't commented in a while about this mess in Columbus. However, it seems there is some new stage every week or so that affirms what we have learned periodically for months now; OSU is an incompetent administration. Yeah, I know Gee is a big fundraiser, but the three stooges- Gee Smith Tressel- almost seem to be begging for a major spanking. I'm patiently awaiting the NCAA's response. Sort of sad there is so much doubt that they will give OSU what they deserve. What an arrogant, incompetent, silly bunch they are.
Nobody who ever gave his best regretted it.
July 12th, 2011 at 2:59 PM |
Ah, the classic HumbleBrag.
Ah, the classic HumbleBrag.
Ah, the classic HumbleBrag. Well played, Mike, well played.
wolverineliberationarmy.com/blog
July 12th, 2011 at 3:01 PM |
I can see it now: "O, No, not
I can see it now: "O, No, not
I can see it now: "O, No, not the 3500 word analysis of the worthiness of the shotgun formation!" Funny.
Also, douche move by the stepdad. Really, it was that big of an issue to you. It is tough for me to be credible in critiquing dads because I am not one, but if somehow my passion and respect for UofM didn't shine through to my kid, and he wanted to attend TSIO, I would eat my tongue and let him make his own decision. No matter how misguided. To go on the radio and say that is...huh...wow. No wonder Kalis wanted to get his mom up to see everything that he fell in love with at UofM.
"The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates.
July 12th, 2011 at 3:04 PM |
He kind of reminds me of
He kind of reminds me of
He kind of reminds me of Lindsay Lohan's dad, not that I would know anything about that.
July 12th, 2011 at 3:04 PM |
(No subject)
(No subject)
For today, goodbye. For tomorrow, good luck. And forever, Go Blue.
July 12th, 2011 at 4:29 PM |
Needs a 'full of win' tag
Needs a 'full of win' tag
I would moderate this with "full of win" if possible.
Michigan's offensive style requires more players that have greater interactions with the Higgs field.
July 12th, 2011 at 4:41 PM |
for whatever reason that put
for whatever reason that put
for whatever reason that put the song "particle man" in my head (but w/ "michigan man" incorporated, obv)
July 12th, 2011 at 3:20 PM |
Giving The Devil His Due
Giving The Devil His Due
"The school also praises itself for self-reporting when the legal department found the Tressel emails as they responded to a FOIA—without someone else asking for information they never would have found the violation."
As much as OSU has comically botched most of the Tatts-For-Toys® drama, I suppose it deserves a modicum of credit for self-disclosing. Praising yourself for eventually doing the right thing (by disclosing Tressel's e-mails and recognizing what they evidence) may be a bit much, but OSU in-house legal staff gets some credit for doing the right thing.
Also, "giving the devil his due" seems especially apt, given that it's OSU we're talking about here.
EDIT: I "get" that the disclosure was in response to a FOIA, so it's not like OSU legal happened upon the e-mails by chance. But if OSU legal was not involved, the odds that the incriminating e-mails ever get disclosed seem very small indeed.
- "Of course I care about that stuff. To the point of irrationality. It will always be Michigan first, cancer second." Jim Mandich (RIP)
July 12th, 2011 at 3:05 PM |
A father who played D-1 and NFL football and should understand
A father who played D-1 and NFL football and should understand
the good/bad behind major programs is conspiring to send his son to a particular college after spending considerable time vetting that school. He is also trying to send his son to a particular college that is in high academic standing, particularly in the area of architecture which his son listed as an interest. I am sure this will probably get a place on Maury since this definitely seems like abuse. Color me shocked on this one Mr. Kalis.
July 12th, 2011 at 3:12 PM |
"Mr. Kalis" would be Kyle's
"Mr. Kalis" would be Kyle's
"Mr. Kalis" would be Kyle's father, not his step-father (or did I mis-understand you?).
Nobody home...
July 13th, 2011 at 7:36 AM |
Unless mom
Unless mom
Remarried an uncle or her husband took her name.
/anythingcanhappeninohio
2013 resolution - make it onto the 2014 favorite MGoPosters post, not ironically
i wish i would have made my screen name "IT WAS THE CHAIR"
July 12th, 2011 at 4:01 PM |
can i get a
can i get a
source for kyle's interest in architecture?
2013 resolution - make it onto the 2014 favorite MGoPosters post, not ironically
i wish i would have made my screen name "IT WAS THE CHAIR"
July 12th, 2011 at 3:13 PM |
Did somebody say varmint?
Did somebody say varmint?
July 12th, 2011 at 3:25 PM |
John Oliver on last night's
John Oliver on last night's
John Oliver on last night's Daily Show used the term "Schadenfreudegasm". I propose somebody make an OSU-themed schadenfreudegasm .jpg for times like these.
July 12th, 2011 at 3:27 PM |
Hmm... Someone tell me if I'm
Hmm... Someone tell me if I'm
Hmm... Someone tell me if I'm wrong but if when a kid is being recruited their parents have a lot of weight in their desicion, (see Jarron Jones) so Kalis' stepdad just sounds butthurt to me...
Also, about that "self-report" had Ed Rife not been being investigated with the FBI digging all that memorabilia raise your hand anyone who believes that their compliance department would've blown the whistle
"I can pick leaves of tree in the backyard."
-Tom Strobel
July 12th, 2011 at 3:56 PM |
Role of the FOIA
Role of the FOIA
I think your core point is spot-in - i.e., there's not much chance that OSU's compliance department would have self-reported. But if I'm not mistaken, the disclosure came in conjunction with a general review OSU's office of general counsel conducted in response to an Associated Press FOIA request. It was only when OSU's office of general counsel became involved that the Tressel e-mails got disclosed.
So to the extent there's a scintilla of credit due to OSU, it goes to their OGC instead of their athletic department.
- "Of course I care about that stuff. To the point of irrationality. It will always be Michigan first, cancer second." Jim Mandich (RIP)
July 12th, 2011 at 4:02 PM |
probably
probably
would have been buried in the annual 20 secondary violations that OSU has reported the past 10 years, which for some reason have hardly been mentioned during this
2013 resolution - make it onto the 2014 favorite MGoPosters post, not ironically
i wish i would have made my screen name "IT WAS THE CHAIR"
July 12th, 2011 at 3:26 PM |
Another Picture for
Another Picture for
the Hoke points collection. Nice.
Brady Hoke - High quality recruits one or two at a time.
July 12th, 2011 at 3:27 PM |
SbB
SbB
I love reading the SbB. The guy obviously has a nose for detail. I just wish he would make those checks (checks?) from Talbott to TPeezy materialize.
And when we play as a team, when the old season is over, you and I know it’s going to be Michigan again. Michigan!
July 12th, 2011 at 3:27 PM |
Isn't a D-1 head football
Isn't a D-1 head football
Isn't a D-1 head football coach supposed to convince (manipulate the mind of if you prefer) football players to come play at his school? Ideally, don't the parents put there two cents in? What am I missing here?
If my daughter really wanted to attend some school and I thought it was wrong for her, I'd speak up and I'd expect the school's tour guide to try to sell us on the place.
July 12th, 2011 at 4:00 PM |
They think differently in
They think differently in
They think differently in Ohio. What the rest of the country calls "raising your son" in Ohio they call "manipulation." What the rest of the world calls "brainwashing your kid to be a slobbering Bucknut zombie that thinks Jim Tressel is God and would burn down Ann Arbor given enough matches or at least talk tough about doing so on the internets", in Ohio they call "raising your son."
"We've beaten Michigan the last four years. So where's the threat?"
- Mark Dantonio
Blogging the Virginia Cavaliers at http://fromoldvirginia.blogspot.com/<
July 12th, 2011 at 5:08 PM |
Well said. How dare he not
Well said. How dare he not
Well said. How dare he not go to an inferior academic school that was just caught cheating, is about to receive NCAA sanctions and has a head coach who might not make it to his second year.
July 12th, 2011 at 3:27 PM |
surprise, surprise, surprise
surprise, surprise, surprise
Brian, you missed the other golden tidbit of Branko Busick's deal - he has to go before Magistrate Jim Nabors on Aug. 1 for the preliminary hearing! Wonder if it will be his talkin' voice or his singin' voice that'll hand down the penalties to "Son of Big Bully?"
July 12th, 2011 at 4:05 PM |
Well
Well
Gooolllllllyyyyy.....
"I love him, he's a great coach, he's a great mentor, he's a great friend. He's every single thing you want a college coach to be, and he does it flawlessly." -David Molk
July 12th, 2011 at 3:41 PM |
That coaching by the numbers site
That coaching by the numbers site
That coaching by the numbers site is curiously opaque for a seemingly statistics based site, especially in regard to evaluation of talent. This statement, in particular, stands out...
Neither Carr or Rodriguez coached a game at Michigan with inferior talent.
The 2008 season would like a word...
July 12th, 2011 at 3:56 PM |
Agreed
Agreed
As would the previous 6 seasons games against OSU.
On a different day, I'm thinking of a board topic regarding the last 40 years against OSU, and how Michigan fares when playing them with superior talent, equal talent and inferior talent. I'm willing to wager/argue that Michigan needs superior talent to beat OSU with relative frequency, and equal talent probably played out to a .500 result. Inferior talent, 11-on-11, probably gives us the last 6 years. Maybe not always on O, but definitely on D. Many times, there were several glaring holes on D that got exploited. Of course, the right side of the OL also seemed to be more pizza than power, frequently needing Mike Hart to come over and support the blocking on who-knows-how-many-passing plays.
+1 to you, Sir, where you can most use it!
Larry
I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV
July 12th, 2011 at 4:52 PM |
If you extend your search
If you extend your search
If you extend your search into the 90s, you will find a whole lot of Michigan beating OSU under all circumstances.
Give it to Wheatley!
July 12th, 2011 at 4:57 PM |
I don't need to do the research
I don't need to do the research
I'll gladly go out on a limb and say that any team with more talent wins most of their games, teams with equal talent pretty much split, and teams with less talent lose most of their games. Shocking hypothesis, I know.
"I love him, he's a great coach, he's a great mentor, he's a great friend. He's every single thing you want a college coach to be, and he does it flawlessly." -David Molk
July 13th, 2011 at 8:03 AM |
Thank you!
Thank you!
Actually, my big point about Michigan vs. OSU is the caterwauling about M returning to its rightful place, with results for OSU being Cooper-esque. Not going to happen if we don't field similar or better than talent. And I'm arguing Michigan's talent throughout the 90's was either equal to, or better than, OSU's. Not that Michigan's record going INTO the game was reflective of that talent, but that, when properly motivated, with a fairly aggressive gameplan, Michigan could take on almost any Top 10 team and come out competitive, and win most. Maybe not the stacked Emtman Washington teams, but most others.
Unless you were coaching not to lose against Illinois.
Or placing mediocre ND teams on pedestals and, again, playing not to lose.
Larry
I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV
July 13th, 2011 at 11:37 AM |
Maybe a little too much tongue in my cheek
Maybe a little too much tongue in my cheek
With an added dose of unnecessary snark. I understand what you mean a bit better now. And completely agree. Everyone wants it all, but give me a pretty good game coach with LOTS of talent over a genius with mediocre players. Players win games, and we haven't had the overall talent we've needed (while acknowledging that schools like OSU have stepped it up on their end over time too.)
"I love him, he's a great coach, he's a great mentor, he's a great friend. He's every single thing you want a college coach to be, and he does it flawlessly." -David Molk
July 12th, 2011 at 4:27 PM |
I'm wrong or if Braxton
I'm wrong or if Braxton
I'm wrong or if Braxton Miller plays for the Bucks it'll be the first time we field a more experienced QB against OSU since 2003?
"I can pick leaves of tree in the backyard."
-Tom Strobel
July 12th, 2011 at 4:51 PM |
In 2007 and '08, our starting
In 2007 and '08, our starting
In 2007 and '08, our starting QBs were more experienced than theirs (Boeckmann, Pryor). But this was effectively negated by the fact that Henne was badly injured in '07 (and was replaced for a spell by a true freshman), and that Sheridan was, well, Sheridan.
July 12th, 2011 at 4:52 PM |
Well, if you mean "start"
Well, if you mean "start"
In 2007 we had a four year starting senior. But he was on one leg and shoulder. With a true freshman backing him up. However, we haven't reached November with 2 healthy QB's, so I HOPE you're right.
"I love him, he's a great coach, he's a great mentor, he's a great friend. He's every single thing you want a college coach to be, and he does it flawlessly." -David Molk
July 12th, 2011 at 4:44 PM |
i suspect their range for
i suspect their range for
i suspect their range for "equivalent talent" is actually pretty wide, since there are only three bins. still hard to believe say, 2008 OSU doesnt end up in the "inferior talent" bin
July 12th, 2011 at 3:42 PM |
Wait...
Wait...
Did someone say buckle-up? I thought i heard someone say buckle-up...
July 12th, 2011 at 4:20 PM |
3500 words on shotgun
3500 words on shotgun
I should troll the board with MANBALL, under center passer and other terms like that on Thursday night. Then come Friday we can get 3500 words on shotgun, general awesomeness against Wisconsin and everything. That way Friday is spent having a comment war instead of working. Who is in?
July 12th, 2011 at 4:56 PM |
Sounds good
Sounds good
But only if you bring the Doritos and more stories of your Korean girlfriend's family. I'll bring the beer.
"If life is the road, then Ohio is simply a place to stop for gas." -- Scott Burgess, Detroit News, 9/16/2010
July 12th, 2011 at 4:59 PM |
That's what we needed!
That's what we needed!
More trick plays! I'd have loved to see some under center passes.
Oh, wait, you said "passer".
Nevermind.
"I love him, he's a great coach, he's a great mentor, he's a great friend. He's every single thing you want a college coach to be, and he does it flawlessly." -David Molk
I count 9 recruits in the 2012 class from Ohio. Am I wrong?