TO THE HOT TAKE CANNON
Unverified Voracity: Sarcastic Hurray Edition
And There was much rejoicing. And by rejoicing I mean "bitching about the Alamo Bowl." Copious "rejoicing." RBUAS:
Anyway you slice it
's season was a bad one. If they had maintained their New Year-bowl streak, would you have looked at their season with any more adoration? Of course not. Michigan
See you in San Antonio. I'll be the one hanging himself.
Well, at the very least Vegas expects us to strangulate the Huskers: the line opened Michigan -13(!).
Double rejoicing! Lost in the basketball/recruiting spoo-- article yesterday: the hockey team got their asses swept @ Miami (Roethlisberger). They've now lost four in a row for the first time since 1988-89, when Zack Morris was still the coolest man on the planet (slack: I was ten) and not rumored to be dead from a heroin overdose every six months. This, as they say, is not so good.
Adding injury to injury, the US World Juniors team will pirate Jack Johnson, Mark Mitera, and Kevin Porter from the Wolverines' efforts to not be humilated at the GLI. Add in the near certain addition of Andrew Cogliano to the Canadian team and Michigan is screwed with a capital screwed. Depressed hyyyarrr.
One of these years Michigan is going to have to take a hard look at its participation in the GLI and either demand it take place at a time when Michigan is not down 3-4 critical players every tournament or that it go on without Michigan. Going into it shorthanded every year and picking up at least one loss is damaging Michigan's PWR time and again, and it's not worth it.
As an aside, the US team is heavily favored to win the WJC according to Bob McKenzie, a statement shocking to anyone who knows about these things. In the span of a half dozen years the US has gone from humorous also-rans to shock winners (in '03) and pretournament favorites (now)... yeah, I think the USNTDP is sticking around.
At least there's... basketball? No, that doesn't sound right. But there you go. I submit this gem on Graham Brown's uncanny resemblance to someone who is not Ben Wallace for your edification and approval. As Uncle Grambo might say, best evs.
Big Ten Wonk has initial, extremely, er, wonky PPWS stats up. Michigan players featured on the top:
7. Daniel Horton, Michigan (1.40)
18. Courtney Sims, Michigan (1.29)
19. Brian Butch, Wisconsin (1.28)
20. Lester Abram, Michigan (1.27)
... and on the bottom:
5. Ron Coleman, Michigan (0.89)
13. Chris Hunter, Michigan (0.98)
Still early yet and there is much noise to dampen, but of interest. Big Ten Wonk also points out this article on incoming recruit DeShawn Sims, though I believe its claim that Sims will play on the wing in college is erroneous. Next year Michigan's posts consist of Brent Petway, Courtney Sims, and then... Amadou Ba? One or both of Kendrick Price and Sims will have to play as a post at least some of the time unless we pull a post recruit in this class, which seems unlikely.
Sure, this sounds totally on the up-and-up. No, there's nothing shady about anything that ever goes on in Columbus:
[AJ] Hawk, [Nick] Mangold, and a third roommate, Jonathan Thomas, told police that their apartment in the 100 block of West Norwich Avenue was broken into and about $3,000 in cash, $1,425 in movies, two laptop computers, a $500 Gucci watch, two Microsoft X-Box games valued at $500, a Sony Playstation game valued at $250 were taken.
Who in the sam hell keeps $3,000 dollars in cash lying around? Are you Amish? Do you not trust the banks since they're run by persons of foreign persuasion? And, importantly: did Troy Smith get ripped off last year by only getting $500?
It's also totally normal to be robbed on October 23rd and then, you know, tell the cops five days later when you get around to it:
Police were not told about the crime until Nov. 28, according to their report.
Woe to you, Buckeyes, hypocrites! For ye are like whitened sepulchers, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness.
Can anyone get me this data? The final regular season coaches' poll has been released and with it comes each coaches individual ballots, compiled here in a totally sweet flash animation. This, of course, leads to many fascinating questions, like who exactly is the Straight Bangin' Award winner? Who is Mr. Bold? Etc! Does anyone have access to this stuff in some sort of text file? If I can get my hands on it I can run the calculations and you, the reader, can find out who the nation's wackest coach is. The House That Rock Built's early money is on Larry Blakeney of Troy State.