Unverified Voracity Opens Cans With Teeth Comment Count

Brian

Paws for a cause. If you've got a desire to have Michigan football players wait on you, you are in luck:

paws-for-a-cause

"Celebrity waiters" is a new phrase to me. Proceeds go to the local Humane  Society; tickets can be purchased here. Order the coconut so your waiter can rip it open with his bare hands. This is not an opportunity that often comes.

I told you so. If the equation "Jersey Shore == Bronzed Juggalos" holds true, last fall's assertion is now approved by the Michigan State athletic director himself:

Mike "the Situation" Sorrentino of Jersey Shore is going to be a #Spartan fan this season. Catch him at a game in Spartan Stadium.

less than a minute ago via twidroyd 

Dave Brandon didn't do anything today, but point Dave Brandon. The Only Colors is at a loss for words but not gifs.

Peering into your basket-soul. Basketball recruiting suddenly turned into hockey recruiting, where it's all like "this kid isn't coming forever but he seems pretty good." It's a risk, but one you might feel like you have to take these days. /yells at cloud

But UMHoops points out Beilein's track record with early commits is stellar:

Glenn Robinson III was considered a second-tier prospect in the state of Indiana but impressed Beilein at Elite Camp and picked up a scholarship offer, since then he’s exploded into to a top-75 player. Tim Hardaway Jr. impressed at Elite Camp and committed shortly after, two years later he was one of the top freshmen in the Big Ten. Now that’s not to say that Beilein uses the six hours at his camp as the only evaluation tool, he’s been down to watch Hatch and Donnal play with their high school squads on many occasions over the last year.

That does not use all the available evidence: Beilein picked up Evan Smotrycz before he rose in the rankings; Jordan Morgan was a recruit so questionable even his dad was like "really?"; Trey Burke fell at AAU-only Rivals but rose elsewhere after a stellar senior year saw him named Ohio Mr. Basketball. Also, Pittsnogle and Gansey and etc. Beilein's got an eye. In this regard he is the anti-Amaker.

Michigan is after a point guard in the 2013 class and appears to be operating under the assumption they have a fourth scholarship available in either 2012 or 2013 that will probably go to a shooting guard or face-up four.

Haters going to notice your blatant contradiction. Excellent catch by Oversigning.com. Here's Nick Saban discussing the SEC's meaningful but not perfect new legislation on kicking kids the the curb. Before passage:

"In my opinion, it would really affect the quality in our league," Saban said. "You can't know the attrition from signing day until August, which guys who're going to be fifth-year seniors that decide they don't want to come back and play football. Well, you can't count those guys. You're going to have to tell those guys they're going to have to decide in January.

After passage:

"I don't really feel that it's going to create any management issues that's going to affect the quality of play," Saban calmly said Thursday before his annual charity golf tournament that benefits his "Nick's Kids" program. "I think it's all good."

Oversigning.com describes this as "craw-fishing," which is inexplicable to me but yeah: that dude is totally craw-fishing. What a jerk.

They eat the pig. You know who else needs to feel the pimp hand of the NCAA? North Carolina. Their car business is now just as transparently illicit as Ohio State's:

It appears that one UNC football player accrued 93 parking tickets under nine license plate numbers between October 2007 and August 2009, according to parking records UNC released Thursday and a database search of the University’s Department of Public Safety website. …

The plates in question corresponded to cars including a gray Dodge, a gray Nissan, a black Acura, a black Honda and a green BMW, according to the records.

Greg Little had nine license plates in 22 months. The student newspaper discovered this by searching a public database after UNC was finally sued into releasing records requested under the FOIA act. There is obviously some combination of car trouble, generous grandmothers from poor sections of Durham, footloose and fancy-free car swapping on the whims of a young man feeling the wind in his hair, and OBVIOUS EXTRA BENEFITS UNC WAS BEING SLAPPED IN THE FACE WITH EVERY TIME HE GOT A PARKING TICKET, WHICH WAS APPARENTLY ON A DAILY BASIS that explains how this may have occurred.

Meanwhile, phone records show John Blake was talking to Marvin Austin and Gary Wichard when they were on one of their non-kosher trips. They're going to get hammered, too.

(HT: Doctor Saturday.)

What is luck? Baby don't hurt me, no more. A follow-up to the Pythagorean post from this morning: was Michigan State actually lucky last year? If you listen to Pythagorean expectations, they were. They were the luckiest dang team in the study period, exceeding expectations by a whopping 2.4 wins.

If you're using a more conventional measure of record in close games, they weren't even close to the luckiest team. By my count there were three: wins over ND (34-31, OT), Northwestern (35-27 with a cosmetic touchdown for MSU at the very end), and Purdue (35-31). A six point win over Penn State does not count since PSU scored a touchdown with under a minute left to make the final score more attractive; MSU was a long way from losing that.

3-0 in close games is a bit lucky but nothing out of the ordinary for any team that finishes 11-2. While you would expect any team with 11 wins to regress the next season, there's nothing there that suggests MSU should be unusually likely to drop back to .500 or thereabouts.

The Pythagorean method is blown away by MSU's two losses, utter hammerings at the hands of Iowa and Alabama. I'm not convinced those are as meaningful as the formula would have it.

Etc.: Nobody closes the barn door like the Ohio State Buckeyes. Yost renovations are go. Renaldo Sagesse making his way in the CFL. NCAA poking around agent-type dudes in South Florida, investigating a selection of SEC schools and Ohio State. Doctor Saturday renews call for "East" and "West" division names, which is endorsed by this space. Holdin' the Rope fires up the nostalgia machine and takes us back to the 2010 Indiana game. Remember when Ohio State had a football program? Weird!

Comments

Geaux_Blue

June 17th, 2011 at 3:04 PM ^

allowing athletes to receive learning moments of integrity that are not provided to student athletes at schools like OSU. unfair advantage. sanctions! i saw denard feeding a stray dog! violations! 

/bucknuts

MGoShoe

June 17th, 2011 at 4:53 PM ^

....issue. Don't worry.

12.5.1.1 Institutional, Charitable, Education or Nonprofit Promotions. A member institution or recognized entity thereof (e.g., fraternity, sorority or student government organization), a member conference or a noninstitutional charitable, educational or nonprofit agency may use a student-athlete’s name, picture or appearance to support its charitable or educational activities or to support activities considered incidental to the student-athlete’s participation in intercollegiate athletics, provided the following conditions are met: (Revised: 1/11/89, 1/10/91, 1/10/92)

(a) The student-athlete receives written approval to participate from the director of athletics (or his or her designee who may not be a coaching staff member), subject to the limitations on participants in such activities as set forth in Bylaw 17; (Revised: 1/11/89, 4/26/01) [Presumably this occurred since it’s been publicized on MGoBlue.com]

(b) The specific activity or project in which the student-athlete participates does not involve cosponsorship, advertisement or promotion by a commercial agency other than through the reproduction of the sponsoring company’s officially registered regular trademark or logo on printed materials such as pictures, posters or calendars. The company’s emblem, name, address, telephone number and Web site address may be included with the trademark or logo. Personal names, messages and slogans (other than an officially registered trademark) are prohibited; (Revised: 1/11/89, 1/10/91, 5/6/08) [Check]

(c) The name or picture of a student-athlete with remaining eligibility may not appear on an institution’s

printed promotional item (e.g., poster, calendar) that includes a reproduction of a product with which

a commercial entity is associated if the commercial entity’s officially registered regular trademark or logo also appears on the item; (Adopted: 11/12/97) [Check]

(d) The student-athlete does not miss class; (Revised: 1/11/89) [Check]

(e) All moneys derived from the activity or project go directly to the member institution, member conference or the charitable, educational or nonprofit agency; (Revised: 1/11/89, 1/10/92) [Check]

(f ) The student-athlete may accept actual and necessary expenses from the member institution, member conference or the charitable, educational or nonprofit agency related to participation in such activity; (Revised: 1/11/89, 1/10/92, 4/28/05) [Check]

(g) The student-athlete’s name, picture or appearance is not used to promote the commercial ventures of any nonprofit agency; (Adopted: 1/10/92) [Check]

(h) Any commercial items with names, likenesses or pictures of multiple student-athletes (other than highlight films or media guides per Bylaw 12.5.1.7) may be sold only at the member institution at which the student-athletes are enrolled, institutionally controlled (owned and operated) outlets or outlets controlled by the charitable or educational organization (e.g., location of the charitable or educational organization, site of charitable event during the event). Items that include an individual student-athlete’s name, picture or likeness (e.g., name on jersey, name or likeness on a bobble-head doll), other than informational items (e.g., media guide, schedule cards, institutional publications), may not be sold; and (Adopted: 1/16/93, Revised: 1/9/96, 4/27/06 effective 8/1/06) [Check]

(i) The student-athlete and an authorized representative of the charitable, educational or nonprofit agency sign a release statement ensuring that the student-athlete’s name, image or appearance is used in a manner consistent with the requirements of this section. (Revised: 1/11/89, 1/10/92) [We’ll assume this will happen/has happened]

Jon06

June 17th, 2011 at 3:22 PM ^

MSUAD Mark Hollis I find this quite humerous, the guy bought a ticket and is coming to a college football game. On his own. Not MSU driven. 1 hour ago

Humerous indeed.

Seth

June 17th, 2011 at 3:32 PM ^

Just be careful.

If Woolfolk so much as sprains a pinky on your coconut, Cook, know that we know where your seats are, and we have an entire warehouse of torches & pitchforks.

Zone Left

June 17th, 2011 at 3:45 PM ^

The Doc Saturday link reminded me that I know the PAC-12's divisions better than the Big 10's! All I wanted for the Big 10's division names were names that weren't mockable. Is that too much to ask?

MaizeAndBlueWahoo

June 17th, 2011 at 4:03 PM ^

Two things:

One, remember David Brandon's use of "the young people like it" and how we were sort of chuckling at how that can sometimes mean "I am an old person who doesn't know that I don't know what actual young people like"?  Mark Hollis just one-upped that so friggin' hard.  "Hey, kidz like Jersey Shore, right?  This is pretty hip of us!"

Two, anyone notice the immense Sabanosity of the Saban quote?

"You can't know the attrition from signing day until August, which guys who're going to be fifth-year seniors that decide they don't want to come back and play football. Well, you can't count those guys. You're going to have to tell those guys they're going to have to decide in January."

Seriously: what a dick.  Leave it to Saban to shove the hard decisions off on the players even sooner, just so the coaching staff can have an easier time of it.  "I know you've got a potentially life-changing decision ahead of you, son, whether to graduate and take that job offer or play football one more year for one more shot at the ring, but chop-chop, make up your stupid mind, I've got a program to run."

Saban can jump off a bridge.  It's not supposed to be easy to juggle the scholarships, and the 85 limit doesn't mean you have to have 85.

TrppWlbrnID

June 17th, 2011 at 4:08 PM ^

Crawfishing - Backing out of a commitment or situation, especially when it doesn't go your way.

As a crawfish walks backwards when threatened or attacked.
 

ak47

June 17th, 2011 at 5:07 PM ^

I actually disagree with Brian here, I think sparty was incredibly lucky last year and weren't anywhere near the team that 11-2 would suggest even with a favorable schedule.  I really can't think of an even mediocare team they didn't have to scrape by and the one good win would be wisconsin.  I'll give them wisconsin it was an impressive win but outside of that they were a team that looked closer to 8-8 than 11-2.  Honestly outside of Wisconsin what above average team did they even play?

befuggled

June 17th, 2011 at 5:58 PM ^

Wisconsin was clearly their best win. Other than that, it was Notre Dame (8-5), followed by four 7-6 teams. Another 8-5 team (Iowa) kicked their ass.

While I think they were a little lucky, they also benefited from catching the best team on their schedule at the right time and not playing anybody else who was all that good.

mooseman

June 17th, 2011 at 6:53 PM ^

I don't think Magnum and Columbo could have sniffed out the wrongdoing at OSU. As subtle as they have been, they might need a profiler or clairvoyent as well.

jmblue

June 17th, 2011 at 7:20 PM ^

I think they were fortunate in a lot of ways.  The 3-0 record in close games, obviously, but also in that they didn't play OSU and got to play Wisconsin early in the season, before UW had rounded into form.  The UW of November probably would have beaten them.

Having said that, Kirk Cousins seems to peform well in the clutch.  For an MSU QB, he commits a lower-than-average number of "Sparty No!" blunders in the 4th quarter.

Edward Khil

June 17th, 2011 at 11:42 PM ^

1) Brian, please post a link in re: 'Jordan Morgan was a recruit so questionable even his dad was like "really?"'  I missed that.

2) And I think he's right when he says, "While you would expect any team with 11 wins to regress the next season, there's nothing there that suggests MSU should be unusually likely to drop back to .500 or thereabouts."  Like it or not, Little Brother is going to be pretty good for the next 2-3 years.  Then, in-state recruiting kills that.

I always used to call my little brother "The Comeback Kid"...as in, "come back tomorrow."

TBone

June 19th, 2011 at 9:02 AM ^

While I agree MSU had some luck last year, many of the top teams had some good fortune along the way.

Also about their bowl game performance, let's not forget our performance as well.