Unverified Voracity: No Rebounds For You(!) Edition

I ham you! I ham you good!

Wind beneath... OMG LOOK OUT! Remember that scene in Beaches where a deranged Bette Midler, distraught over the loss of her best friend to cancer, beats down a rather surprised group of midgets with a readily available Christmas ham? Yeah, that scene. Well, I imagine that's a lot like what went on at Crisler last night as Courtney Sims dropped 33 on a distinctly Oompa-Loompa-esque Delaware State team in a 69-49 Michigan victory. He and Graham Brown also obliterated the boards, totalling 25 rebounds between them.

Delaware State is the Hornets and they are 2 and 6 and la la la la la.

(An aside... first Rece Davis says "try to create this character on The Sims," during the Miami game, now this from the MGoBlue recap:

SimsCity: Center Dominates Paint in Win Over Hornets

What is with the exceedingly weak Sims references? Did someone sign an endorsement deal with Maxis and not tell me? And could someone get me some totally flippin' sweet ninja stars in case this happens again?)

The box score is wacky... Michigan got 43% of the offensive boards and 85% of the defense boards, shot 57%, held their opponents to 33% shooting, and won by only 20 because of another ginormous turnover explosion (17). First hand reports claim that the turnovers were closely linked to the Michigan shooting percentage, however, as the Hornets employed a wide array of gimmicky defenses and pressure that often yielded a Courtney Sims dunk if they didn't cause one of those turnovers. I would't take much away from anything that happened last night... except Notre Dame's victory at (ex-)#22 Alabama, which puts a shinier shine on that particular road win.

The most heartening thing about this early season run can be found over at Big Ten Wonk, where Brown is second in the Big Ten in rebound percentage, and Sims is fourth. The normally reserved Wonk goes to great lengths explaining how OSU's JJ Sullinger, the leader to date, is probably the best rebounder in the history of college basketball, but it's still nice to see a couple Wolverines high up the charts. Last year's defensive rebounding--dead freakin' last in the league--was a failing that could not be explained away by injuries; it had to improve this year or Michigan's (unfixable, IMO) turnover issues would combine with that to give competent opponents a nigh-insurmountable possession advantage. This is a good early start, though the spate of Lilliputian opponents we've faced so far has obviously helped.

Johnny also has some hoopy thoughts. Included are a charmingly bad photoshop job and evidence that Linda Cohn... well, damn. She is night zombies!

Hale and hearty, you. Michigan alumni in the NBA who I don't want to see blow out their ACLs (Taylor, Traylor, HWMNBN) are getting increasingly rare these days, so it's good to see Bernard Robinson, Jr., sticking in Charlotte and playing well when given the opportunity.

Victors iiiiiiinnnn spaaaaaaaaace! You read EDSBS every day, right? So this upcoming link is totally useless to you, right? Seriously.

Anyway, they're doing a series on those hilariously bad "Come To University" PSAs that run during sporting events, and first up on the "not crap" docket is the Apollo 15 commercial for Michigan that debuted a couple years ago. I mean... (swearin')

Michigan grads go to space. Motherfucking space. Not just one, either, but three at a time. In fucking space. Which pwns your ass. We send them up there and they sing our fight song and everyone else sucks our hairy cheeks while we stare at you puny mortals from–get this–the furthest reaches of fucking space.

... I would like to reiterate: you read EDSBS every day, right?

(Aside #2: Count me in with Mayor Kyle King: The nominations for this year's Best Sports Blog over at the Weblog Awards totally invalidate the idea of the award. Five of the nominated blogs are college football blogs, but no EDSBS. Outrage! That's what you get when a bunch of politics nerds try to do sports, I guess. You have to seriously question if anyone even bothered to read the nominated blogs when Heismanpundit is listed as "He Is Man Pundit," which bespeaks a horrific ignorance... you don't even know what the Heisman is? And you couldn't figure it out after visiting the site? Did you even bother to visit the site?)

Ay, yo, atsa spicy meatball #2. Michigan's picked up a commitment from 2007 forward Louie Caporusso from the St. Mike's Buzzers, continuing Michigan's rich tradition of Canadians with unbelievably Italian names. Yost Built has details.

Update: Rivals has an interview with Caporusso.

IBFC is back from 40 years in the wilderness, BTW.