must be difficult.
this week in unintentionally grim-sounding recruiting headlines
Rimington: acquired. David Molk is your 2011 Rimington winner as the nation's best center:
I haven't watched every snap of every other center's career in detail, but I have watched Molk and I would have scoffed if he didn't win. Good move, Rimington award. The scoffing… you don't want this, son.
With the award and the first-team All-American status that goes with it, Molk will be one of the guys you randomly stumble across pages for on the Bentley site when trying to figure out all-decade teams. He'll show up in an endzone of Michigan Stadium at some point, grudgingly waving at the crowd. This makes me happy.
Future centers need not apply for the 2010s All-Decade team, by the way. Your application is as likely to be successful as Charlie Weis getting another head coaching—SKREEEEEEEEETCH
Carry on my Weighward son. So this happened:
I'm still waiting for Orson to email the Kansas AD asking "who are you and when did you think of this," thus exposing the brilliant hoax. Because that ain't real. Kansas did not just hire an old sociopath whose college tenure is spectacular failure at Notre Dame and leading the Florida offense into walrusball territory. They did not shell out three million a year for him. These are not things that happen without Batman villains intervening in the water supply.
In the unlikely event this is a real thing that really happened, Michigan needs to schedule an annual series with Kansas. That's how you create the future, by causing the media to reminisce about things that your fanbase remembers as awesome.
Weis II >>>>>>>> Horror II. EFACT.
And now a word from Orson.
YEAH THE REASONS YOU CAME HERE WHATEVER I DON'T CARE I ASSUME YOU CAME WITH A SKI MASK ON AND SHOULD LEAVE WITH ONE BECAUSE YOU STOLE MONEY AT NOTRE DAME AND YOU STOLE MONEY FROM FLORIDA AND NOW YOU'RE GOING TO KANSAS AND THAT MAKES YOU SOME KIND OF SUBTROPICAL DEPRESSION THAT GUSTS INTO PRESS CONFERENCES RAINS TURNOVERS ON AN OFFENSE AND THEN SUCKS THE CASH OUT OF THE AIR BEFORE BLOWING INTO THE NEXT STOP. WE BOUGHT THE MONORAIL. WE DIDN'T SEE A WICKED THING COMING THIS WAY. WE WROTE THE CHECK AND SAID SURE YOU SEEM TRUSTWORTHY PERSON WHO LOST TO GREG ROBINSON AT SYRACUSE ON YOUR OWN HALLOWED HOME FIELD.
THEN YOU LEAVE AND THAT'S GREAT. SERIOUSLY I WOULD HAVE THROWN BATTERIES AT YOU AT THE BOWL GAME. YOU THINK I'M JOKING BUT I'M NOT MY FRIEND JON SAID "I'M GOING TO THROW BATTERIES AT HIM" AND FOR ONCE THIS MADE SO MUCH EMOTIONAL SENSE TO ME. I WOULD HAVE FELT BETTER. MY HATE AND FRUSTRATION WOULD HAVE CHARGED THE BATTERY AND THEN LEFT ME IN ONE CATHARTIC JOLT IN A CLEAN TRANSFER OF ENERGY FROM ME TO THE BATTERY TO YOUR WORTHLESS CARCASS. I WOULD HAVE FELT BETTER EVEN WITH THE MISDEMEANOR ASSAULT CHARGE. I REALLY WOULD HAVE ESPECIALLY AFTER I WATCHED YOU MAKE UP THAT BULLSHIT PLAN FOR THE GEORGIA GAME AND WATCHED US DIE IN PERSON FOR THE ENTIRE SECOND HALF SERIOUSLY YOU OWE JOHN BRANTLEY SEVEN YEARS ON HIS LIFE.
And now let's reminisce.
"They're going to have to learn about us, OK? Let them try to stop a pro-style offense, which has multiple personnel groups and multiple formations. Let's see how they are going to do. They've had their advantage because I've come into recruiting late. Well, now it's Xs and Os time. Let's see who has the advantage now."
I wrote a thing after the above game with a photoshop Kansas fans may want to have handy.
The only wonder is that the media spent the better part of 2.5 years pumping him up as Weis E. Coyote, Certified Super Genius, largely because Weis spent every available moment telling the media that he and his ACME catalog of incredibly sophisticated devices were worth a foolproof touchdown every game. Somehow I doubt even Tyrone Willingham would have Notre Dame scoring -7 points per game.
The result of all these fantastic toys? Literally nothing. No touchdowns. No rushing yards. No hope.
No hope… no hope. [Kansas football flatlines.]
A witch! Find the witch! If you're wondering why the parents of former Michigan commits are telling recruiting reporters that their sons are qualified, yesterday Rivals claimed a current commit was not likely to make it past the clearinghouse and please don't speculate as to who, which worked as well as it always does: not at all. At least the Inquisition didn't last long. When Anthony Standifer decommitted soon after, two was added to two.
I'm not sure what the deal is here. Michigan's main competition for Standifer was Notre Dame, not often hot after kids who won't qualify. In the Trieu article above his mom doesn't sound mad, claiming it was a mutual breakup:
"Both parties have decided to go their separate ways."
So, whatever. For whatever reason Michigan is down one Standifer. This has two major impacts:
And now: children who hate football. The father in the first one is kind of a jerk.
Try not to think of the latter one the next time Michigan loses a game.
The coming funpocalypse. Every report that BCS automatic qualifier status is probably gone further enhances the belief that BCS AQ status is probably gone. The bigger issue is if the cap on the number of teams per conference will be lifted, as that will determine who benefits from the AQ removal: Boise State or SEC #3? Actually, with Boise now moving to the Big East, they're hurt by this. They finally wrangle themselves an autobid just in time for them to go up in smoke. They have been trolled expertly.
Every report that an expanded playoff field is inevitable further enhances the belief that Jim Delany is a Centauri diplomat. Andy Staples quoting Stanford's AD:
"I happen to agree with my conference colleagues about the plus-one game," Stanford athletic director Bob Bowlsby said Wednesday. "I think it's inevitable at this point."
That's the Pac-12, man. With the Big 12 having their Okie State hissy, the SEC and ACC already on board, and the Big East able to calculate the chances of one of their teams ever getting in a two-team playoff, the Big Ten is about to be dragged into an arrangement they don't want. As I said, Delany should have thought about the slippery slope in 1998, not now.
In other quotes that make me pump my fist:
[After complaining about the Sugar Bowl, Kansas State AD John] Currie then said something that should strike fear into the hearts of overpaid, underworked bowl directors everywhere, because while Currie may be the jilted, angry one now, he isn't the only administrator who feels this way. "College football doesn't need the bowls like it once did to build the brand of college football," Currie said. In other words, the schools and conferences can stage exhibition games on their own at a far lower cost, increasing their profits and cutting the bowls out of the equation entirely.
YES THIS YES. The NCAA needs goofballs in yellow jackets in no way whatsoever.
Staples also discusses a potential split in D-I between haves and have-nots, something I either don't care about (if the split does not prevent you from scheduling lower division teams) or adore (if it does).
Well, maybe. Meinke starts the fretting about next year's defensive line with some quotes from defensive line coach Jerry Montgomery. This is the most interesting:
One question that likely will fester into fall camp: Will either Roh, who will be a senior fourth-year starter next year, or sophomore Jibreel Black be moved from weak-side to strong-side end to replace Van Bergen?
They both played well this season on the weak side, so splitting them could be a way of getting the best 11 on the field.
Montgomery's answer: "It could happen, but I’m telling you, Nathan Brink is going to be a good football player. To say anyone is going to pass him at five-technique (is premature)."
When Brink got hyped up in preseason camp, that was a sign the world was ending at the Will Campbell spot. When he immediately faded in favor of Will Heininger, that was a sign things were even worse than implied when one walk-on was in the conversation. And Heininger had some struggles early.
Then a funny thing happened: Heininger stopped getting beat up by Eastern Michigan…
If the rest of the line did this there'd be nothing. Unfortunately, this is Will Heininger's fate (second from the top in the first frame):
You can see the blue stripe. Roh has his helmet on it. Heininger ends up a yard behind it and sealed away. That middle frame is a butt-kicking, and the third frame is the result: two Michigan players with no hope of making a tackle.
…and settled into a brief period of anonymity before emerging into a pretty good player late in the year. Heininger has been consistently positive in UFRs since about the midpoint of the season, and while he's not Mike Martin or Ryan Van Bergen he's far more effective than folks like Banks and Patterson were last year.
This realigns our perceptions. Michigan has never been a place that could get mileage out of walk-ons like Iowa or Wisconsin, so the default assumption has been walkons == doom. In certain cases (say, inserting a freshman student-body walk-on into the starting lineup) that remains true. But if Brink fends off Roh and Black for a job at five-tech there's reason to believe he'll be able to hack it.
Given his brief windows of play so far he'll have to improve massively to get there, but, hey, Will Heininger.
This year, last year. Stolen from the depths of the internet, a man who goes only by "Jeff" posts Michigan's plays of X yards or more allowed this year and last year:
Plays of 80+ yards - 2010 3, 2011 0
Plays of 70+ yards - 2010 4, 2011 0
Plays of 60+ yards - 2010 7, 2011 0
Plays of 50+ yards - 2010 8, 2011 2
Plays of 40+ yards - 2010 15, 2011 6
Plays of 30+ yards - 2010 29, 2011 13
Plays of 20+ yards - 2010 64, 2011 41
Plays of 10+ yards - 2010 211, 2011 150
Note that these numbers include *all* plays of longer than 10+, 20+, not plays for 10-19 yards, plays for 20-29 yards, etc. - we didn't give up 7 plays for 70+ yards in 2010, we gave up 3 for 80-100 and 1 for 70-79.
That is slight improvement there. Safeties, safeties, safeties. The difference doesn't really kick into full force until you get to plays of 30 and 40 yards. Too bad the defense had a bit of a meltdown against OSU or that plays of >30 yards number would be ridiculously low.
Etc.: Video from the 1930s. Of Michigan Stadium. The Daily notes that there are two guys in lobster costumes in the student section calling themselves "Smotrycz's Lobstryczs," which is incredible. You men are heroes.
must be difficult.
I have to wonder how that little Bears fan in the second vieo reacted after last week's loss to KC (and Forte getting hurt). "I hate KC!! I hate THEM!! I HATE CHICAGO BEARS FOOTBALL FOREVER AAARRRRRRGGGGHHH!!!!1111!!!!111!!" (reduced to being inconsolable).
His mother's reaction is classic.
Oh, and Scott Tenorman of the Week to the little Eagles fan that hates Tom Brady. The beatdown the Pats put on the Eagles was delicious.
Is that Charlie Weis image real or a photoshop job?
Was an effort organized by this year's Maize Rage, they sent out an email early in the year asking for volunteers to wear them at every home game. It seemed to be a follow up because last year's McLimans/Big Bird kind of flopped (seeing as McLimans got next to no playing time).
Gotta love the student section getting a little goofy! Now if we could only get normal fans there to cheer......
I still prefer Smotrycz's ostriches, but I'm not really sure how one would pull off an ostrich costume at a basketball. game.
1930s stadium footage, an opporunity to bask in the anti-glory of C. Weis, an actual inkling of a threat to the bowl system, and talk of my favorite future starter -Nathan Brink-all in one 5 minute read! FWIW, my last favorite future starter was Fitz Toussaint! (Before Fitz it was Donovan Warren?)
Molk is apparently too sexy for his Tie, as it disappears right after the interview. For him hating attention, he does Excellent in every interview I've seen him do, Congratulations!!
"Carry on my Weighward Son." Pure genius.
Carry on my weighward son,
There'll be beef when you are done.
Never lay your fork to rest.
Don't you fast no more.
I would like Brian to tag this post then reread it after he has a couple of Little Cook's running around.
It may appear mean to be mocking your little kid while he is having a meltdown(and it is a little), but that dad has seen 1,841 of these in a similar fashion and realizes these will come and go with no negative effects on the child so the only way to maintain any sanity is to laugh at it.
You see the mom in the lower one laughing as well.
My 2 yr old has gone thru a whole season of Michigan football with dad and I didn't really notice if he was getting it or not until I had the game on last night and after each play I heard him saying something. I figured out it was this
"awww you got to be kidding me"
No idea where he got this from or how he avoided the fucking between kidding and me.
be and kidding?
I can die anytime after hearing about this. It... it gets no better.
I totally forgot we'd given up a TON of point and gotten embarrassed in the previous 4 games before that ND game.
We played OSU in the Game of the Century, USC and got smacked, App St. and Oregon...
Weis came to town and that was a pivitol game because a loss to a rival was going to be the final straw in the eyes of many for Carr.
Mallett and go put an all out HURTING on Charlie, Jimmy and the boys and it was over from the time they jumped to hit that MGoBlue Banner.
Brink could be good next year, but the nice thing is we'll have options. Not "returning starter" type options, but at the 5-tech we'll have: WDE with significant experience (Roh or Black), back-up 5-tech with some experience (Brink), younger guy on roster who didn't play this year but might be good in another year (Heitzman or Wilkins) and highly touted freshmen (Strobel, Wormley or Godin).
I'm confident that whoever comes out of that group as the #1 will be serviceable at worst. The two inside spots worry me a lot more than the 5-technique.
But David Molk (awesome as he is) needs a tailor. He's not just being aloof with his tie/shirt, there is no way in hell that shirt can button. The top button has no hope. Hell, even the 2nd button looks like it's struggling. Molk needs dress shirts that fit his ridiculous neck.
On that split between haves and have nots in Division 1: That's our quickest path to a real playoff of 4 or more teams. By having a super league of the big conferences who could share the post-season pot only among themselves, you would remove the biggest impediment to determining a champion on the field. The big conferences want a playoff and all the money that will go with it. Don't let anyone kid you.
It would also be awesome if they went to a minimum 9 league game rule along with a zero or 1 maximum game against the have nots. Really if you want to eliminate cup cake games, have a real tournament with at large bids and seeding determined by a committee which pays great mind to strength of schedule.
The rise of a super league is probably inevitable. The interesting thing would still be whether there would be lawsuits against it from disgruntled states with schools who are shut out from membership in the "in crowd."
The funny thing will be if they ever have a real playoff would be watching the bowls scurry around changing their questionable practices to stay viable. The committment of the conference commissioners to the bowl system that they babble about will more or less vanish. The bowls right now are little more than a convenient red herring argument against a playoff and a way to dole out bonuses and job security to average ADs and average coaches.
I was really looking forward to reading Brian's comment on the Rich Rod "10-2 or better" comment. Disappointed it's not in the post, but hopefully something is still forthcoming!
I only talk about coaches who coach for Michigan. And Charlie Weis.
Miss you big guy! xoxoxo
I never quite understood that whole joke. Are we supposed to miss Weis because Brian Kelly is a huge upgrade? We're batting 1.000 against Kelly so far (compared to only .600 against Weis).
The Patriots defense won them those Super Bowls. Charlie Weis gets too much credit for the super QB that Brady turned into after Weis left:
Jeez, someone needs to tell those kids that the F-bomb is a perfectly sane way to react -- but crying??? -- no way!
But this recap is great too:
I would say you can't have one without the other... but it appears my favorite Youtube video, "Brady Quinn for Heisman" isn't on Youtube anymore! Brian, wasn't that your vid? Is that a casualty of whatever legal BS happened with your youtube account?
oh, man, how could I forget that? -2 me.