here's one vote for "John Beilein's head in a Futurama jar"
Unverified Voracity: Ministry of Silly Analysis Edition
I don't suppose alumni dancing arrests qualify for the Fulmer Cup? Lincoln shot alert: yes, Dhani Jones got arrested for his irrepressible need to dance. West Side Story's casting director on line two.
Patrick Beverly: still not named "Eric," despite my attempts to convince the world otherwise. Things on the recruting front for Er-- er... Mr. Beverly appear to be going very well:
"I really just want him to go visit the three schools he's going to visit and then let him compare," [Beverly's coach Lamont] Bryant explained. "He doesn't have anything to compare it with. Your first visit is always your big visit. Once he goes to St. John's and Arkansas, he'll have something to compare it to. But Michigan looks good. He really likes it."
Less encouragingly, Keith Langlois says '07 commit Kelvin Grady "might have been the seventh-best point guard" at the state basketball finals this past weekend. That's not quite fair since there was only one junior on Langlois' list of better-than-Grady -- MSU commitment Kalin Lucas -- but it's still less than wonderful.
This is stupid:
In a sign of growing campus resistance to the Athletic Department's proposal to build luxury boxes in Michigan Stadium, 33 past and present faculty members have signed a letter urging the University Board of Regents to reject the private boxes.
Joey already demolished this; I co-sign.
And now for something completely obsessive. Michigan's roster has been updated with new weights (and heights, I believe). A favorite pastime of the deranged is to read far too much into listed positions, heights, and weights, as getting information out of Fort Schembechler is harder than a contrived similie that references hilarious pop culture. In that vein:
- Any worry that Michigan would senselessly put Alan Branch at DE should be put to bed: he's listed at 330 pounds. It should then be awoken: his position is listed as DE/DT.
- Redshirt freshmen James McKinney (279 lbs.) and Eugene Germany (ditto) are both bulking up to the point where DT may be a possiblity.
- McKinney, Tim Jamison, and Chris McLaurin are all listed at the anachronistic RLB position... as is Lamarr Woodley. Hopefully that does not imply those three guys get to watch Biggs and Van Alstyne play unsexy librarian at DE. Quiero dual headhunters. Also of note: both Jamison and McLaurin are up to that 240-250 range at which you're leery about every additional pound robbing them of explosiveness.
- Grady's down to 216. No word on whether he's gotten contacts.
- Wasn't Brandon Harrison listed at 5'10" last year? I seem to remember many jokes about lifts and such coming from OSU fans. Apparently that fanciful notion has been discarded: he's back down to a Bob Sanders-esque 5'8". Now if he could only play like Sanders.
- Marques Walton's problem was supposed to be mondo-overweightness, but he's listed at a (relatively) svelte 291.
Our Fairly Brief National Bout of Pissiness is Over. Cowherd was brought to heel by the Internet hordes. Our next stop: the White House. The MZone emerges from their bunker. Hey Jenny Slater gets a link for incorporating Melissa Theriau into the proceedings.
Etc.: Yost's getting a second locker room; from now on players will enter at opposite ends of the ice. File under wishful thinking:
The new locker room should improve Michigan's chances of hosting an NCAA Tournament regional. Yost has hosted five such regionals - the last in 2002 - but there were serious problems with finding adequate locker room space for all of the teams. ...
"It certainly won't hurt (our chances) of hosting another regional," [associate executive AD Michael] Stevenson said.
Since the general opinion of the college hockey world is that it will be a cold day in hell when Yost gets another regionals bid, Stevenson is technically right. The lowest a "chance" can go is axiomatically zero.
Braylon Edwards is endowing a scholarship for the #1 jersey -- check out the sweet video with AC and BE on the Braylon Edwards Foundation's website; Maize 'n' Brew re-works some musical memery; Michigan students, James Bond, Legos == A Good Time.